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(Slate)   Before you make those hard boiled eggs to color for Easter, I just want to remind you that you're doing it wrong   (slate.com) divider line 157
    More: Obvious, Easter  
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17462 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Mar 2013 at 5:18 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-28 06:48:15 PM
I'm an 11 minute man.

/if you know what I mean


When it comes to hard boiling, I'm the same.

Fertilizing eggs takes much longer, if you're doing it right.
 
2013-03-28 06:48:34 PM
I would like to say that I find  Steve Reich's Drumming to be quite enjoyable an not at stress inducing at all.
 
2013-03-28 06:49:06 PM
paying writers by word.   mostly fluff.
 
2013-03-28 06:49:12 PM
www.motifake.com
 
2013-03-28 06:51:33 PM
I was taught to read Matthew chapter 1 out loud. When you get to the end, the eggs are done. Plus it helps to renew yourself into what this holiday is supposed to be about.
 
2013-03-28 06:55:19 PM
If you need to crack the hard boiled eggs, I take the eggs in their pan, put them under the faucet. I take a spoon and crack the eggs with the back of the spoon--an antipodal orbit then around the equator while tapping. Then I run the cold water at a decent pace while peeling the egg in the stream. Amen.
 
2013-03-28 06:59:57 PM
www.demotivationalposters.org encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2013-03-28 07:00:36 PM
I can't even WATCH someone eat runny yolks!!

/ I make a mean deviled egg
// i swear they are requested for parties just so my house stinks like nasty farts!
 
2013-03-28 07:07:23 PM

Donnchadha: kmmontandon: What a pretentious load of sh*t.

If you can't get a hard-boiled egg to a proper texture - yolks and whites - by actually boiling them, you shouldn't be writing an article about how everyone else is doing it wrong.

I don't understand the point of coddling people by giving them an over-easy procedure to pretend like everything is always sunny side up.


I'm going to poach this.
 
2013-03-28 07:13:36 PM

downstairs: wee: I do it the way Jacques Pepin says to do it, and I ain't changing.

/saw no mention of poking a hole in the air sack of the egg...

I looked up.  I'm going to try that, thanks!


I do it Uncle Jacques' way also.

/Claudine - you idiot - give me that
 
2013-03-28 07:17:17 PM
No pics of Paul Newman?
 
2013-03-28 07:27:42 PM
Meh.

I boiled the eggs for easter for an hour and a half after I forgot about them.  They turned out fine.

/What a pretentious POS that article was.
 
2013-03-28 07:29:48 PM
Use the Julia Child method.

-Poke hole in large end of shell.  A safety pin works well for this. Do not go too deep into the egg.
-Put in pot and cover with cold water (do not crowd the pot, use larger pot if cooking many eggs).
-As soon as water boils turn off the heat. (with practice you will know how long this takes).
-Let sit ~10 to 12 minutes (you need to experiment to find the golden time for your pots/stove) may take slightly longer or shorter.
-Remove from hot water and place hot eggs into ice water for 2 minutes. DO NOT SKIP THIS STEP! Also prevents the green ring on the yolk.
-While eggs chill return the water to a boil.
-Plunge the eggs in the boiling water for 10 seconds then back into ice bath.
-The 10 second boil and plunge into the ice water makes peeling a breeze as the egg will shrink back from the shell.
-Should take no more than 10 minutes in the ice bath before you can peel them. The colder the eggs get the easier they are to peel. I have done it in as little as 5 minutes if I wanted to eat them hot.
 
2013-03-28 07:30:09 PM
Runny yolk= soft boiled.

Solid yolk= hard boiled
 
2013-03-28 07:38:54 PM

fuhfuhfuh: 10-minutes in a heated pot of water? How about 10 weeks buried in alkaline clay.


Ah yes, thousand year old eggs. For those days you want to eat rotten eggs, but don't want people looking at you funny. I mean, unless you aren't Chinese, then they'll look at you funny because those things are disgusting.
 
2013-03-28 07:44:16 PM
Put cold eggs in pan, cover with cold water.
Place on medium heat, set timer for 21 minutes.
When it dings, run cold water over eggs.

Why so difficult?
 
2013-03-28 07:44:32 PM
I didn't read the article, but if this is about coloured easter eggs; does anyone else not poke two small holes in each end of a raw egg and blow them dry?

/don't go there you sick bastages!
 
2013-03-28 07:47:33 PM
Anyone have some egg-salad recipes?
 
2013-03-28 07:52:37 PM

TheSteamingPile: I didn't read the article, but if this is about coloured easter eggs; does anyone else not poke two small holes in each end of a raw egg and blow them dry?

/don't go there you sick bastages!


Not done that for colored eggs, but have done that for the shrink wrap eggs.
 
2013-03-28 07:56:47 PM

BGates: TheSteamingPile: I didn't read the article, but if this is about coloured easter eggs; does anyone else not poke two small holes in each end of a raw egg and blow them dry?

/don't go there you sick bastages!

Not done that for colored eggs, but have done that for the shrink wrap eggs.


I've never heard of these "shrink wrap eggs" of which you speak. Care to elaborate?
 
2013-03-28 08:02:26 PM

W.C.fields forever: Anyone have some egg-salad recipes?


First you peel the bananas.
Second step: toss in some grapes.
Third step: chop up some apples, chop up some melons.
Put them on your plate.
 
2013-03-28 08:03:02 PM

TheSteamingPile: BGates: TheSteamingPile: I didn't read the article, but if this is about coloured easter eggs; does anyone else not poke two small holes in each end of a raw egg and blow them dry?

/don't go there you sick bastages!

Not done that for colored eggs, but have done that for the shrink wrap eggs.

I've never heard of these "shrink wrap eggs" of which you speak. Care to elaborate?


Basically it was a decorated cellophane shrinking sleeve that you put over the egg.  You then put the egg with sleeve in hot water and the sleeve shrank to fit the egg.  It looks like PAAS sells them.
 
2013-03-28 08:07:37 PM

BGates: TheSteamingPile: BGates: TheSteamingPile: I didn't read the article, but if this is about coloured easter eggs; does anyone else not poke two small holes in each end of a raw egg and blow them dry?

/don't go there you sick bastages!

Not done that for colored eggs, but have done that for the shrink wrap eggs.

I've never heard of these "shrink wrap eggs" of which you speak. Care to elaborate?

Basically it was a decorated cellophane shrinking sleeve that you put over the egg.  You then put the egg with sleeve in hot water and the sleeve shrank to fit the egg.  It looks like PAAS sells them.


Ahh, yes. I have seen those before. Cheating if you ask me.
 
2013-03-28 08:08:47 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: W.C.fields forever: Anyone have some egg-salad recipes?

First you peel the bananas.
Second step: toss in some grapes.
Third step: chop up some apples, chop up some melons.
Put them on your plate.


*Punches funny*
 
2013-03-28 08:10:42 PM
I never had a problem hard boiling an egg, but the linked article about why the shell sometimes sticks was rather interesting.
 
2013-03-28 08:18:38 PM

TheSteamingPile: BGates: TheSteamingPile: BGates: TheSteamingPile: I didn't read the article, but if this is about coloured easter eggs; does anyone else not poke two small holes in each end of a raw egg and blow them dry?

/don't go there you sick bastages!

Not done that for colored eggs, but have done that for the shrink wrap eggs.

I've never heard of these "shrink wrap eggs" of which you speak. Care to elaborate?

Basically it was a decorated cellophane shrinking sleeve that you put over the egg.  You then put the egg with sleeve in hot water and the sleeve shrank to fit the egg.  It looks like PAAS sells them.

Ahh, yes. I have seen those before. Cheating if you ask me.


The hard part is getting the egg out of a pin hole.
 
2013-03-28 08:28:35 PM
There's some advice making the rounds on FaceBook about baking the eggs in a muffin pan. Any usefulness to this or is it the usual FB misinformation?
 
2013-03-28 08:49:43 PM
Why bother with dyeing, go to the farmers market and get some eggs with other than white shells.
 
2013-03-28 08:57:06 PM
Helpful hint for deviled eggs.

If, on a whim, you mix bacon into the yolk with the mayo, make sure you let people know.  Otherwise they will think there is ground up shell in the mix.  While humorous, it did require some explaining and eventually a little sign next to the tray.
 
2013-03-28 09:00:27 PM

Betep: tylerdurden217: That article was full of fail. "You don't boil eggs for 10 minutes, you cover them and take them off the heat and then shock the eggs in ice cold water"

Great. Already knew that. Way too verbose though.

I thought the article was going to reveal a different way... like steaming or baking them in the oven. Both of those methods will cook them in the shell. The dry heat in the oven works perfectly, but it probably isn't best for coloring since the shell darkens slightly.

/could eat eggs all day.

Oh?


If my boy says he can eat 50 eggs then he can eat 50 eggs.
 
2013-03-28 09:06:57 PM
I do this...

1.  Fill pot with enough water to cover eggs
2.  Put in eggs.  You do this while the water is cold, because dropping them into boiling water will make them crack.  Perhaps the author of the article will disagree.
3.  Once the water starts boiling, let it go like that for a few minutes.

I've never had a disappointing batch.  I'm no Farking Bobby Flay...  But that simple process works just fine for the size of the pot, the temp of the water, bla bla bla bla.....

I'm suddenly in the mood for some deviled eggs.
 
2013-03-28 09:15:26 PM

revrendjim: If my boy says he can eat 50 eggs then he can eat 50 eggs.


Here's the music.  This soundtrack is in my iPod and is awesome.  Eyewitness News theme........
 
2013-03-28 09:16:49 PM

anuran: The stupid twunt has given a recipe for soft-boiled eggs. Ten minutes will give you an unset yolk.

If you want hard-boiled eggs go with the Egg Board (and the Joy of Cooking and pretty much every other farking cookbook in the world) recommendations - 15 minutes for large eggs. Add two minutes if they're not room temperature.

You don't need to leave them in ice water for five minutes. A minute or so is long enough to stop the cooking process.


Motherfarking this.  If I bring eggs just to a boil, remove from heat, and let sit for ten minutes in the hot water, even the whites are not cooked through.
 
2013-03-28 09:32:23 PM
A) No shiat
B) Who the fark gets cooking advice from Slate (or Fark, for that matter)
 
2013-03-28 09:48:50 PM
I have prepared eggs both ways.   I prefer the traditional way of boiling for ten mins.  Makes them easier to peel.
 
2013-03-28 09:53:37 PM
Sous Vide makes all kinds of crazy eggs possible.
makezineblog.files.wordpress.com

Soft boiled eggs are a breeze.

blog.friendseat.com

Plus it gets boring things like hard boiled eggs perfect. And if you don't have the money to spring for a nice machine like this one:

images.costco.com
you get to go all Mad Scientist and build something like this much cheaper:

seattlefoodgeek.com

And when you cook meat, you have the perfect excuse for using a blowtorch in the kitchen. Who doesn't want an excuse to use a blowtorch when cooking?

/Technically, cooking eggs in their shells isn't sous vide but it doesn't matter since you're just skipping using one of the more annoying tools anyway
 
2013-03-28 10:26:46 PM

EngineerAU: Sous Vide makes all kinds of crazy eggs possible.


Soft boiled eggs are a breeze.



Plus it gets boring things like hard boiled eggs perfect. And if you don't have the money to spring for a nice machine like this one:


you get to go all Mad Scientist and build something like this much cheaper:



And when you cook meat, you have the perfect excuse for using a blowtorch in the kitchen. Who doesn't want an excuse to use a blowtorch when cooking?

/Technically, cooking eggs in their shells isn't sous vide but it doesn't matter since you're just skipping using one of the more annoying tools anyway


I built almost exactly that beast. Same controller with a solid-state relay and a commercial heating element. It rocks.
 
2013-03-28 10:36:44 PM

kmmontandon: What a pretentious load of sh*t.

If you can't get a hard-boiled egg to a proper texture - yolks and whites - by actually boiling them, you shouldn't be writing an article about how everyone else is doing it wrong.


Yeah.  I boil eggs all the time for salads and such.  I don't even use a timer, just boil them 10 minutes-ish.  I never have leathery whites or half-raw yokes.

TFA author is a F idiot.
 
2013-03-28 10:44:49 PM

revrendjim: If my boy says he can eat 50 eggs then he can eat 50 eggs.


Only 50? Sonya Thomas is not impressed.
 
2013-03-28 10:59:08 PM

scruffynerfherder: I have prepared eggs both ways.   I prefer the traditional way of boiling for ten mins.  Makes them easier to peel.


I've also done them both ways and prefer the way described in the article, except I found that 15 minutes produced the best results.
 
2013-03-28 11:13:35 PM
i.walmart.com
 
2013-03-28 11:19:08 PM

W.C.fields forever: AverageAmericanGuy: W.C.fields forever: Anyone have some egg-salad recipes?

First you peel the bananas.
Second step: toss in some grapes.
Third step: chop up some apples, chop up some melons.
Put them on your plate.

*Punches funny*


First you get the ham.  Get the one with the big bone in it.

First you make one spiral slice all the way around the ham, down to the bone, starting at the top (but you have the shank turned up-side down so it's really the bottom).
Second you prepare the nice glaze marinade with sriracha and pineapple and stuff
Third you add Grey Poupon
Then bake until it's done

/Serve with Pineapple slices stuck in teh side with whole cloves
 
2013-03-28 11:21:13 PM

ladyfortuna: WordyGrrl:

Damn you to hell. You just reminded me of how much Stats homework I've got to do before Sunday.

I feel your pain. SO glad I got that over with last semester.


I've never had a class that's so incredibly time-consuming. And if I don't pull an Easter Bunny out of my hat on the next few exams, I'll be re-enduring that pain (along with Managerial Accounting) and destroying my dream a nice, fluffy graduating semester followed by lucrative job offers. All this frigging math had better be worth it.
 
2013-03-28 11:22:54 PM

hoosierstace: [i.walmart.com image 215x215]


i1.squidoocdn.com

Don't make him angry. You wouldn't like him when he's angry.
 
2013-03-28 11:28:36 PM
The rate of heating of the water and initial egg temperature are also important.   The amount of cooking your eggs will get post boil depends on the relative masses of egg and water and the heat storage capacity of your pot.  None of this information is given in the article.
 
2013-03-29 12:46:40 AM
How can you not hard-boil an egg? It's not NOT hard-boiling it that gives me problems.
 
2013-03-29 01:53:57 AM

ski9600: W.C.fields forever: AverageAmericanGuy: W.C.fields forever: Anyone have some egg-salad recipes?

First you peel the bananas.
Second step: toss in some grapes.
Third step: chop up some apples, chop up some melons.
Put them on your plate.

*Punches funny*

First you get the ham.  Get the one with the big bone in it.

First you make one spiral slice all the way around the ham, down to the bone, starting at the top (but you have the shank turned up-side down so it's really the bottom).
Second you prepare the nice glaze marinade with sriracha and pineapple and stuff
Third you add Grey Poupon
Then bake until it's done

/Serve with Pineapple slices stuck in teh side with whole cloves


Ew. Maple glaze all the way.
 
2013-03-29 01:54:51 AM

Gyrfalcon: How can you not hard-boil an egg? It's not NOT hard-boiling it that gives me problems.


Just to be clear, these sentences aren't not dissimilar.
 
2013-03-29 03:09:18 AM

WordyGrrl: ladyfortuna: WordyGrrl:

Damn you to hell. You just reminded me of how much Stats homework I've got to do before Sunday.

I feel your pain. SO glad I got that over with last semester.

I've never had a class that's so incredibly time-consuming. And if I don't pull an Easter Bunny out of my hat on the next few exams, I'll be re-enduring that pain (along with Managerial Accounting) and destroying my dream a nice, fluffy graduating semester followed by lucrative job offers. All this frigging math had better be worth it.


I was lucky enough to get help from a couple of class-mates. I appreciate the class because if I go into database stuff at all I'll need to understand stats for that, but man was it difficult considering I cannot keep numbers straight in my head to save my life.  Good luck... and don't forget even if YOUR prof can't help you, someone else in the department can and that's what you're paying for.
 
2013-03-29 07:59:27 AM
Culinary bookmark.
 
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