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(Slate)   Before you make those hard boiled eggs to color for Easter, I just want to remind you that you're doing it wrong   (slate.com) divider line 157
    More: Obvious, Easter  
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17471 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Mar 2013 at 5:18 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-28 03:35:45 PM
I knew that.  Ohhhh yeaahhhhh.

*puts another crease in my toque*
 
2013-03-28 03:36:33 PM
Put eggs in pot, cover with water, heat on stove just until boiling then immediately turn off stove, wait ten minutes, eggs are ready.

If that's too succinct of a description, Scott Thompson wrote the linked blog post about it in his Buddy Cole character.
 
2013-03-28 03:42:43 PM
What a pretentious load of sh*t.

If you can't get a hard-boiled egg to a proper texture - yolks and whites - by actually boiling them, you shouldn't be writing an article about how everyone else is doing it wrong.
 
2013-03-28 03:45:22 PM
- put 12 eggs in the microwave
- nuke for ten minutes on `high'
- whistle nonchalantly whilst scurrying out the kitchen when the microwave door blows off its hinges
- look completely innocent when wifey-poo starts screaming
 
2013-03-28 03:53:00 PM

kmmontandon: What a pretentious load of sh*t.

If you can't get a hard-boiled egg to a proper texture - yolks and whites - by actually boiling them, you shouldn't be writing an article about how everyone else is doing it wrong.


I don't understand the point of coddling people by giving them an over-easy procedure to pretend like everything is always sunny side up.
 
2013-03-28 04:00:24 PM
I hate all "turn off heat and wait" recipes. How quickly the water cools depends on the amount of water, the type of pot, the temperature of the room.  The writer marvels that he's "seen recommendations ranging from 9 minutes to 13 minutes" but they are wrong, WRONG I tell you, because on MY stove and in MY pot 10 minutes is correct! Damn Slate sucks.
 
2013-03-28 04:07:07 PM
I already knew that!

Although, those clever scientists, forgoing cancer cures, have made it so much easier.

www.myseenontv.com
 
2013-03-28 04:13:02 PM
Egggselent!
 
2013-03-28 04:13:45 PM

I_Am_Weasel: I already knew that!

Although, those clever scientists, forgoing cancer cures, have made it so much easier.

[www.myseenontv.com image 280x266]


It's kind of hard to dye those eggs...
 
2013-03-28 04:24:03 PM

Donnchadha: I_Am_Weasel: I already knew that!

Although, those clever scientists, forgoing cancer cures, have made it so much easier.

[www.myseenontv.com image 280x266]

It's kind of hard to dye those eggs...


Add food coloring to the Eggie before dropping it into the pot.
 
2013-03-28 04:26:12 PM

kmmontandon: What a pretentious load of sh*t.

If you can't get a hard-boiled egg to a proper texture - yolks and whites - by actually boiling them, you shouldn't be writing an article about how everyone else is doing it wrong.


And so of course it gets greenlit, so Fark can continue to be the site it was once created to mock.
 
2013-03-28 04:44:48 PM
FTA: Of course, if you're boiling eggs for purely decorative or symbolic purposes, you may not care what they look or taste like within, and you're within your rights to let them steep as long as you like.

Or not at all so that there can be an awesome egg fight when Dad gets good and drunk before dinner and starts biatching at Mom and thing get all throw-y.
 
2013-03-28 04:46:31 PM
Useful information, but I could have done without all the hand-wringing about how eggs cooked any other way just aren't RIGHT!
 
2013-03-28 04:56:44 PM
A greenlight on "how to boil water with eggs in it"....


imgs.xkcd.com
 
wee [TotalFark]
2013-03-28 05:04:14 PM
I do it the way Jacques Pepin says to do it, and I ain't changing.

/saw no mention of poking a hole in the air sack of the egg...
 
2013-03-28 05:17:25 PM

Donnchadha: I_Am_Weasel: I already knew that!

Although, those clever scientists, forgoing cancer cures, have made it so much easier.

[www.myseenontv.com image 280x266]

It's kind of hard to dye those eggs...


Just add food coloring before you cook them
 
2013-03-28 05:19:58 PM
Crap.

I only have brown eggs...
 
2013-03-28 05:24:11 PM
I'm an 11 minute man.

/if you know what I mean
 
2013-03-28 05:29:03 PM
Contrary to belief held by this one person, there is absolutely no nuance to hard-boiled eggs.
 
2013-03-28 05:29:17 PM

wee: I do it the way Jacques Pepin says to do it, and I ain't changing.

/saw no mention of poking a hole in the air sack of the egg...


I looked up.  I'm going to try that, thanks!
 
2013-03-28 05:29:41 PM
ftfa
Furthermore, cooking eggs in boiling water disturbs whatever domestic tranquility you have carefully cultivated in your kitchen. Boiling eggs will rattle disquietingly in the pot, jarring your nerves

that is pro level sensitivity.
 
2013-03-28 05:29:59 PM
10-minutes in a heated pot of water? How about 10 weeks buried in alkaline clay.
 
2013-03-28 05:30:11 PM
That article was full of fail. "You don't boil eggs for 10 minutes, you cover them and take them off the heat and then shock the eggs in ice cold water"

Great. Already knew that. Way too verbose though.

I thought the article was going to reveal a different way... like steaming or baking them in the oven. Both of those methods will cook them in the shell. The dry heat in the oven works perfectly, but it probably isn't best for coloring since the shell darkens slightly.

/could eat eggs all day.
 
2013-03-28 05:30:47 PM
Don't bother coloring them, just add mayonnaise.

24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-03-28 05:32:34 PM
That's a lot of tripe to read through for just::

Put 12 eggs in pot, cover with water, heat on stove just until boiling then immediately turn off the stove, wait for 10 minutes, cool off eggs, serve.
 
2013-03-28 05:32:36 PM
Happiness is a well cooked and colored Easter Egg.

Happy Easter Farkers!

www.newman.esu8.org
 
2013-03-28 05:32:44 PM

meat0918: Crap.

I only have brown eggs...


Egg bigot!

/brown eggs crack easier
 
2013-03-28 05:34:22 PM
The whites, battered by the incessant kinetic energy of the water molecules, become tough and rubbery. The yolks, meanwhile, buffered by albumin, remain half raw.

www.hwdyk.com

Well, I guess the laws of physics cease to exist
on top of your stove.

 
2013-03-28 05:35:01 PM
dont forget the 1/2 tsp baking soda.  Makes shelling them real easy.
 
2013-03-28 05:36:32 PM
I eat a lot of hard boiled eggs and I hate it when they won't peel. Steaming large eggs for 15-16 minutes yields perfectly cooked eggs that peel easily every time. Baking them in the oven works good too, but texture and taste are different.
 
2013-03-28 05:37:01 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-03-28 05:37:51 PM
Some days, I don't like the internet.  It tells me I'm wrong.  A lot. There is always someone doing it better out there on the internet.  Googling my name = disappointment.  Watching porn stars = disappointment.  Hard-boiling eggs = Yep.  Disappointment.

What's the point of it anymore?
 
2013-03-28 05:37:56 PM
If your yolks are hard all the way through, you've already lost.

farm8.staticflickr.com
 
2013-03-28 05:38:03 PM
Alton. 12 minutes streamed or 30 baked. Accept no substitutes. Never had one come out even a little imperfect.
 
2013-03-28 05:38:37 PM

Yanks_RSJ: Don't bother coloring them, just add mayonnaise.

[24.media.tumblr.com image 336x494]


Her?
 
2013-03-28 05:38:40 PM
FTA: Store hard-boiled eggs in an egg carton in the refrigerator for up to several days.

They last longer if you pickle them. Seriously. Great use for that left over canned beat juice.
/saves a ton of cash too
//make killer deviled eggs

i.imgur.com
 
2013-03-28 05:39:19 PM
correction: beets
 
2013-03-28 05:39:48 PM

tylerdurden217: That article was full of fail. "You don't boil eggs for 10 minutes, you cover them and take them off the heat and then shock the eggs in ice cold water"

Great. Already knew that. Way too verbose though.

I thought the article was going to reveal a different way... like steaming or baking them in the oven. Both of those methods will cook them in the shell. The dry heat in the oven works perfectly, but it probably isn't best for coloring since the shell darkens slightly.

/could eat eggs all day.


OOOH! Good! This IS where I come to say, "I hate eggs."

My mom used to tell me I liked eggs when I was little. She said my grandma fed me eggs all the time and I loved them. I asked, finally, when in the heck that was, and she insists I probably stopped being willing to eat them around 2. SO, MOM, ABOUT THE TIME I WAS OLD ENOUGH TO REJECT AWFUL THINGS I HATED?! Yeah. No eggs.

/Husband insists the eggs I make him are really good, but I can't stand even the smell.
 
2013-03-28 05:40:24 PM
I boil eggs a slightly different way, yet the whites aren't rubbery and the yolks are cooked and creamy without the green crap layer of overcooked eggs.  My mom cooks them differently from me and the article, and they're good too.  Could it be that boiling eggs is one of those things that's really hard to not do correctly?
 
2013-03-28 05:40:55 PM
9-13 minutes? While cooking anything, doneness is a measure of temperature, not time. Sous-vide your eggs.
 
8zo [TotalFark]
2013-03-28 05:45:16 PM
www.smkw.com
 
2013-03-28 05:46:46 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: If your yolks are hard all the way through, you've already lost.

[farm8.staticflickr.com image 550x825]


How did you do that?
 
2013-03-28 05:47:31 PM
Egg snob thread?

Oh, you.
 
2013-03-28 05:48:24 PM

8zo: [www.smkw.com image 500x500]


I gave out a couple of those for x-mas a couple years ago to family members (because they needed it) & have watched them attempt to make hard boiled eggs without it.

/what did i eggpect?
 
2013-03-28 05:49:17 PM

downstairs: AverageAmericanGuy: If your yolks are hard all the way through, you've already lost.

[farm8.staticflickr.com image 550x825]

How did you do that?


http://bossacafez.blogspot.jp/2012/03/ajitsuke-tamago.html
 
2013-03-28 05:50:10 PM
blog.khymos.org

Full explanation
 
2013-03-28 05:50:37 PM

spentmiles: Put eggs in pot, cover with water, heat on stove just until boiling then immediately turn off stove, wait ten minutes, eggs are ready.

If that's too succinct of a description, Scott Thompson wrote the linked blog post about it in his Buddy Cole character.


WTF, man?
No tale of being stuck in the barn, strangling Rhode Island Reds because they didn't meet their egg-laying quotas, and then nailing the farmer's daughter as you both covered yourselves in downy feathers and sorghum molasses?
Who the hell stole your login?
 
2013-03-28 05:53:17 PM
You need rubbery whites for egg salad. My recipe says to simmer them for 21 minutes...or maybe it's 17 minutes. Then put them immediately in cold water and keep rinsing them in cold water.

An egg salad made with non-rubbery whites is just mush.
 
2013-03-28 05:53:36 PM
Who didn't already know this? I always thought that this was the accepted, well-known way to "hard-boil" an egg.
 
2013-03-28 05:53:49 PM

Orange-Pippin: FTA: Store hard-boiled eggs in an egg carton in the refrigerator for up to several days.

They last longer if you pickle them. Seriously. Great use for that left over canned beat juice.

[i.imgur.com image 520x347]


Um, ew?
 
2013-03-28 05:55:42 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: If your yolks are hard all the way through, you've already lost.

[farm8.staticflickr.com image 550x825]


Runny yolks make me cringe.
 
2013-03-28 05:56:17 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: If your yolks are hard all the way through, you've already lost.

[farm8.staticflickr.com image 550x825]


Enjoy your salmonella.
 
2013-03-28 05:56:39 PM

tylerdurden217: That article was full of fail. "You don't boil eggs for 10 minutes, you cover them and take them off the heat and then shock the eggs in ice cold water"

Great. Already knew that. Way too verbose though.

I thought the article was going to reveal a different way... like steaming or baking them in the oven. Both of those methods will cook them in the shell. The dry heat in the oven works perfectly, but it probably isn't best for coloring since the shell darkens slightly.

/could eat eggs all day.


Oh?
 
2013-03-28 05:57:37 PM

chopit: AverageAmericanGuy: If your yolks are hard all the way through, you've already lost.

[farm8.staticflickr.com image 550x825]

Enjoy your salmonella.


Salmonella vaccination is actually pretty effective everywhere it's used. That excludes the US, of course.
 
2013-03-28 05:58:36 PM

Ablejack: 9-13 minutes? While cooking anything, doneness is a measure of temperature, not time. Sous-vide your eggs.


I bought a Nu-Wave PIC and I have some cheap enamelware that I use for solar cooking. I'm going to give sous vide a try with a steak and an evacuated freezer bag.

I'm still trying to decide whether to light sear, then sous vide OR sous vide then light sear OR light sear, sous vide, then light sear again. I'm probably going with the second option.

I'm not convinced that it isn't upscale boil-in-a-bag but hothing I've purchased can't be used for something else. In fact, I bought the PIC to make yogurt with among other excuses.

The thing is adjustable down to 100 deg F. I couldn't any other portable induction cooker that went that low. And it was only $79 on Amazon.
 
2013-03-28 05:58:57 PM
Easter and April fools all in one: Tell the kids to go find the eggs you didn't hide.
 
2013-03-28 05:59:02 PM

wildcardjack: [blog.khymos.org image 600x138]

Full explanation


Damn you to hell. You just reminded me of how much Stats homework I've got to do before Sunday.

Also, this:

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-03-28 05:59:40 PM
I think he's the author of the books:

Taking The Fun Out of Cooking
No Eggs For You!
How To Duck a Punch While Wearing a Chef's Hat
 
2013-03-28 06:00:14 PM

studs up: ftfa
Furthermore, cooking eggs in boiling water disturbs whatever domestic tranquility you have carefully cultivated in your kitchen. Boiling eggs will rattle disquietingly in the pot, jarring your nerves

that is pro level sensitivity.


I almost feel like this article was an early April Fool's joke. Otherwise it's a load of shiat.
 
2013-03-28 06:01:16 PM

Orange-Pippin: FTA: Store hard-boiled eggs in an egg carton in the refrigerator for up to several days.

They last longer if you pickle them. Seriously. Great use for that left over canned beat juice.
/saves a ton of cash too
//make killer deviled eggs

[i.imgur.com image 520x347]


1) that looks amazing
2) fark beets - beets are the greatest evil known to man
3) those still look amazing
 
2013-03-28 06:01:37 PM

oldfarthenry: - put 12 eggs in the microwave
- nuke for ten minutes on `high'
- whistle nonchalantly whilst scurrying out the kitchen when the microwave door blows off its hinges
- look completely innocent when wifey-poo starts screaming


Was she mad because you destroyed the microwave or because she thought you farted in the kitchen again?
 
2013-03-28 06:02:14 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: If your yolks are hard all the way through, you've already lost.

[farm8.staticflickr.com image 550x825]


That's disgusting.  On the plus side:  Madred likes you, Human.

images1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-03-28 06:02:18 PM

namatad: Orange-Pippin: FTA: Store hard-boiled eggs in an egg carton in the refrigerator for up to several days.

They last longer if you pickle them. Seriously. Great use for that left over canned beat juice.
/saves a ton of cash too
//make killer deviled eggs

[i.imgur.com image 520x347]

1) that looks amazing
2) fark beets - beets are the greatest evil known to man
3) those still look amazing


Like a sulphuric lotus.
 
2013-03-28 06:02:52 PM
What a twatwaffle. I like my hard boiled eggs just fine the way I boil them. They 's delish.

/I have this nifty egg shaped thing you put in the water and it will tell you how hard boiled (soft, medium, hard) the eggs have become- eerily accurate too
 
2013-03-28 06:02:55 PM

namatad: Orange-Pippin: FTA: Store hard-boiled eggs in an egg carton in the refrigerator for up to several days.

They last longer if you pickle them. Seriously. Great use for that left over canned beat juice.
/saves a ton of cash too
//make killer deviled eggs

[i.imgur.com image 520x347]

1) that looks amazing
2) fark beets - beets are the greatest evil known to man
3) those still look amazing


Beets rock man.

littlebylisten.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-03-28 06:07:28 PM
WordyGrrl:

Damn you to hell. You just reminded me of how much Stats homework I've got to do before Sunday.

I feel your pain. SO glad I got that over with last semester.
 
2013-03-28 06:07:31 PM
No.  You're doing it wrong by boiling and painting the eggs for the Easter egg hunt in the first place.  Do kids actually get excited about this?  "Yay!!!!! Hard-boiled eggs!!!!!"

Fun:
ts2.mm.bing.net
 
2013-03-28 06:07:40 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-03-28 06:07:44 PM
The stupid twunt has given a recipe for soft-boiled eggs. Ten minutes will give you an unset yolk.

If you want hard-boiled eggs go with the Egg Board (and the Joy of Cooking and pretty much every other farking cookbook in the world) recommendations - 15 minutes for large eggs. Add two minutes if they're not room temperature.

You don't need to leave them in ice water for five minutes. A minute or so is long enough to stop the cooking process.
 
2013-03-28 06:07:59 PM

Donnchadha: I_Am_Weasel: I already knew that!

Although, those clever scientists, forgoing cancer cures, have made it so much easier.

[www.myseenontv.com image 280x266]

It's kind of hard to dye those eggs...


Yes but the last time we tried making deviled eggs all we had was fresh eggs we just picked (that day).  Eggs have to be a couple weeks old to peel correctly.  Went through 3 dozen eggs trying to get 1 dozen deviled eggs.  I might actually go buy these.
 
2013-03-28 06:08:20 PM

8zo:


Yeah, this thing.
 
2013-03-28 06:09:09 PM
I do mine as TFA suggests, but my deal is peeling them; sometimes the shells come off perfectly, and sometimes they rip half the white off and I end up feeding the yolk to the cat. I recall it has something to do with the age of the egg, and how they're treated (ice-cold water vs. not, etc.) I can never seem to get it reliably right.
 
2013-03-28 06:09:55 PM

BKITU: Add food coloring to the Eggie before dropping it into the pot.


MaudlinMutantMollusk: Just add food coloring before you cook them


That works if all you want is a single color, but it's a little harder to pull off eggs like those in the Snoopy picture above
 
2013-03-28 06:10:03 PM

TheShavingofOccam123: You need rubbery whites for egg salad. My recipe says to simmer them for 21 minutes...or maybe it's 17 minutes. Then put them immediately in cold water and keep rinsing them in cold water.

An egg salad made with non-rubbery whites is just mush.


this
and NOW I want egg salad? sigh
 
2013-03-28 06:12:23 PM
And hey, any excuse to post Easter Eggs (NSFW audio)
 
2013-03-28 06:12:46 PM
No mention on how the D1vwife makes hard boiled eggs.

1)  Fill pot with water, add eggs, place on stove.
2)  Turn burner to "High".
3)  Get involved in some artsy-craftsy project.  Remember eggs an hour later.

She does this every.  single.  time.

Deviled eggs are supposed to be crunchy, right?
 
2013-03-28 06:13:16 PM

Seat's Taken: Some days, I don't like the internet.  It tells me I'm wrong.  A lot. There is always someone doing it better out there on the internet.  Googling my name = disappointment.  Watching porn stars = disappointment.  Hard-boiling eggs = Yep.  Disappointment.

What's the point of it anymore?


You are biatching wrong.
 
2013-03-28 06:15:34 PM
Last weekend I was with my dad and extended family.  The kids were excited about the Easter egg hunt that was going to start at 4.  At noon I told the kids that the Easter egg hunt was starting.  At 12:30 I explained to my dad and the kid's parents that they were hunting for Easter eggs.  One parent said "But we haven't hidden the eggs yet."  I said "Pity they don't know that."
 
2013-03-28 06:19:14 PM
Boiling eggs will rattle disquietingly in the pot, jarring your nerves...

Look, I have issues with different sounds. The sound of pouring or gurgling liquids makes me angry. Seriously angry, I don't know why, but it makes me want to rage. If I'm trying to go to sleep and there is some kind of repetitive noise that is just loud enough to hear, I can't go to sleep because I obsess on it. The list goes on...

But I have never thought the noise of eggs in the pot while water was boiling was "jarring my nerves". Actually, it's kind of a soothing sound. I have no idea what TFA of TFA is doing wring to get such noisy eggs, but they are worlds away from "nerve jarring"...
 
2013-03-28 06:22:11 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: If your yolks are hard all the way through, you've already lost.

[farm8.staticflickr.com image 550x825]


Yep, I like my udon with a nice, runny-centered egg. Let that yolk mix into the broth and coat the noodles...Mmmm.
 
2013-03-28 06:23:14 PM

downstairs: wee: I do it the way Jacques Pepin says to do it, and I ain't changing.

/saw no mention of poking a hole in the air sack of the egg...

I looked up.  I'm going to try that, thanks!


Been using the Pepin method myself for a few years now. Never, ever had a cracked shell or a green/gray yolk.
 
2013-03-28 06:23:51 PM
Will this War on Easter (tm) never cease?
 
2013-03-28 06:25:36 PM

chopit: AverageAmericanGuy: If your yolks are hard all the way through, you've already lost.

[farm8.staticflickr.com image 550x825]

Enjoy your salmonella.


And yet millions of people eat runny yolks every day and manage to survive.

/food nazis annoy me
 
2013-03-28 06:27:13 PM

chopit: AverageAmericanGuy: If your yolks are hard all the way through, you've already lost.

[farm8.staticflickr.com image 550x825]

Enjoy your salmonella.


Problem?

/not sure what you think the difference is.
 
2013-03-28 06:28:08 PM

wee: I do it the way Jacques Pepin says to do it, and I ain't changing.

/saw no mention of poking a hole in the air sack of the egg...

.


You only have to do this if you are adding eggs to boiling water (prevents them from bursting)
.


8zo: [www.smkw.com image 500x500]


I LOVE my egg timer!
 
2013-03-28 06:29:06 PM

TheShavingofOccam123: Ablejack: 9-13 minutes? While cooking anything, doneness is a measure of temperature, not time. Sous-vide your eggs.

I bought a Nu-Wave PIC and I have some cheap enamelware that I use for solar cooking. I'm going to give sous vide a try with a steak and an evacuated freezer bag.

I'm still trying to decide whether to light sear, then sous vide OR sous vide then light sear OR light sear, sous vide, then light sear again. I'm probably going with the second option.

I'm not convinced that it isn't upscale boil-in-a-bag but hothing I've purchased can't be used for something else. In fact, I bought the PIC to make yogurt with among other excuses.

The thing is adjustable down to 100 deg F. I couldn't any other portable induction cooker that went that low. And it was only $79 on Amazon.


Shoot. That sounded tres poopy. Let me add that I figure sous vide is sort of like  cooking in banana leaves or cooking in parchment paper. They all create a sealed environment for heat to move into.
 
2013-03-28 06:29:30 PM
Filling the pot with water before you add the eggs is such a newb mistake. Causes too much cracking. You gently place all the eggs in THEN fill with water. Helps with filling it to an accurate but not excessive level.
 
2013-03-28 06:30:48 PM

kmmontandon: What a pretentious load of sh*t.

If you can't get a hard-boiled egg to a proper texture - yolks and whites - by actually boiling them, you shouldn't be writing an article about how everyone else is doing it wrong.


I am so tired of Slate's "You're Doing it Wrong" series.  Yes, its a series of food articles about how everyone but them doesn't know shiat about how to cook or eat food!  How did we survive as a species until Slate writers came along to tell us how we were doing it all wrong?!
 
2013-03-28 06:32:03 PM
First she: ...cook them for 10 minutes over medium heat. ... The yolks, meanwhile, buffered by albumin, remain half raw.

Then she was all: ...Let the eggs rest, silently and peacefully, in the water for 10 minutes.

So letting eggs stand for 10 minutes in hot water cooks the yolks better than 10 minutes over medium heat?
 
2013-03-28 06:34:28 PM

TaterTot_HotDish: kmmontandon: What a pretentious load of sh*t.

If you can't get a hard-boiled egg to a proper texture - yolks and whites - by actually boiling them, you shouldn't be writing an article about how everyone else is doing it wrong.

I am so tired of Slate's "You're Doing it Wrong" series.  Yes, its a series of food articles about how everyone but them doesn't know shiat about how to cook or eat food!  How did we survive as a species until Slate writers came along to tell us how we were doing it all wrong?!


We watched The Food Network. And we liked it!
 
wee [TotalFark]
2013-03-28 06:37:58 PM

downstairs: I looked up. I'm going to try that, thanks!


Don't forget the ice bath, too.  Prevents the gray around the yolk from forming.  Pepin can cook a motherfarking egg.  Whites are firm, yolks creamy nto dry/rubbery, no sulfur smell, just great.   Give it a shot!

catmandu: You only have to do this if you are adding eggs to boiling water (prevents them from bursting)


Which is why I poke it.  It also helps reduce the sulfur smell and the green coloration.
 
2013-03-28 06:38:03 PM

TheShavingofOccam123: TaterTot_HotDish: kmmontandon: What a pretentious load of sh*t.

If you can't get a hard-boiled egg to a proper texture - yolks and whites - by actually boiling them, you shouldn't be writing an article about how everyone else is doing it wrong.

I am so tired of Slate's "You're Doing it Wrong" series.  Yes, its a series of food articles about how everyone but them doesn't know shiat about how to cook or eat food!  How did we survive as a species until Slate writers came along to tell us how we were doing it all wrong?!

We watched The Food Network. And we liked it!


The Food Network is to food as MTV is to music.
 
2013-03-28 06:38:23 PM

buckler: I do mine as TFA suggests, but my deal is peeling them; sometimes the shells come off perfectly, and sometimes they rip half the white off and I end up feeding the yolk to the cat. I recall it has something to do with the age of the egg, and how they're treated (ice-cold water vs. not, etc.) I can never seem to get it reliably right.


Try rolling the eggs under cold water so the entire shell is crinkled, Then it should slip right off under water while the eggs are still warm.Leave them in the cold water and remove them when all shelled. Drain the water and scoop out the shells the remain.
 
2013-03-28 06:40:57 PM
What the hell is wrong with this person?
 
2013-03-28 06:41:24 PM
"The whites, battered by the incessant kinetic energy of the water molecules, become tough and rubbery. The yolks, meanwhile, buffered by albumin, remain half raw."

Sorry but no. Put the eggs in the water, bring to a boil and let simmer for 10 minutes or so then let cool. Perfectly delicious eggs. Nothing rubbery or half raw about it.
 
2013-03-28 06:42:06 PM

Aquapope: I boil eggs a slightly different way, yet the whites aren't rubbery and the yolks are cooked and creamy without the green crap layer of overcooked eggs.  My mom cooks them differently from me and the article, and they're good too.  Could it be that boiling eggs is one of those things that's really hard to not do correctly?


Yeah! I was surprised the article didn't mention the green crap around the yolk of over-cooked eggs. I also wondered why the author didn't mention that (even though we grew up saying "hard-boiled") real masters of the culinary arts (and I'm not one) call them "hard-cooked" eggs.

And, yes, nine minutes to 13 or more minutes certainly depends on factors such as how many eggs, how big a pot, ambient temperature of the room, and how much water.

My egg whites are eggy and my yolks are perfectly yellow throughout. What in the world is a rubbery egg whites, anyway?
 
2013-03-28 06:43:54 PM
Cracks don't matter.  Boil water.  Drop in eggs.  Wait until you forget eggs are in water.  Come back and notice that all the stuff oozed out of cracks has formed a nasty white froth on top of remaining water.  Take out nice hard eggs.  Sprinkle with salt.  Eat while piping hot.  Cooling down to remove shells is for pussies.  If your fingers aren't burned and smarting after you eat hard boiled eggs, you're doing it wrong.  The proper phrase to use while eating hard boiled eggs is "ow! ow! ow! ow!" (repeat until finished).  Dangerously hot hard boiled eggs are one of Nature's greatest gifts to Mankind.  Don't waste it just because you're afraid of crunching on a little egg flake or two while you enjoy them.

(obviously this does not apply to eggs intended for coloring because in that case cracks do matter).
 
2013-03-28 06:44:53 PM
When I was a kid, I never knew most people boiled hard-boiled eggs in pots of water.  We had an electric egg cooker that we used to soft/medium/hard boil eggs and I thought that was how everyone did it.  Put in the eggs, pour in water (more water = longer cooking time = more done), and the cooker boiled the water and the steam cooked the eggs.
 
2013-03-28 06:45:59 PM

gingerjet: TheShavingofOccam123: TaterTot_HotDish: kmmontandon: What a pretentious load of sh*t.

If you can't get a hard-boiled egg to a proper texture - yolks and whites - by actually boiling them, you shouldn't be writing an article about how everyone else is doing it wrong.

I am so tired of Slate's "You're Doing it Wrong" series.  Yes, its a series of food articles about how everyone but them doesn't know shiat about how to cook or eat food!  How did we survive as a species until Slate writers came along to tell us how we were doing it all wrong?!

We watched The Food Network. And we liked it!

The Food Network is to food as MTV is to music.


Well, there's always The Travel Channel...

http://www.travelchannel.com/video/the-art-of-deboning-a-chicken-117 26
 
2013-03-28 06:46:02 PM

oldfarthenry: - put 12 eggs in the microwave
- nuke for ten minutes on `high'
- whistle nonchalantly whilst scurrying out the kitchen when the microwave door blows off its hinges
- look completely innocent when wifey-poo starts screaming


Hahahaha!  I thought it was only my boyfriend who did dumb shiat like that.
 
2013-03-28 06:48:15 PM
I'm an 11 minute man.

/if you know what I mean


When it comes to hard boiling, I'm the same.

Fertilizing eggs takes much longer, if you're doing it right.
 
2013-03-28 06:48:34 PM
I would like to say that I find  Steve Reich's Drumming to be quite enjoyable an not at stress inducing at all.
 
2013-03-28 06:49:06 PM
paying writers by word.   mostly fluff.
 
2013-03-28 06:49:12 PM
www.motifake.com
 
2013-03-28 06:51:33 PM
I was taught to read Matthew chapter 1 out loud. When you get to the end, the eggs are done. Plus it helps to renew yourself into what this holiday is supposed to be about.
 
2013-03-28 06:55:19 PM
If you need to crack the hard boiled eggs, I take the eggs in their pan, put them under the faucet. I take a spoon and crack the eggs with the back of the spoon--an antipodal orbit then around the equator while tapping. Then I run the cold water at a decent pace while peeling the egg in the stream. Amen.
 
2013-03-28 06:59:57 PM
www.demotivationalposters.org encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2013-03-28 07:00:36 PM
I can't even WATCH someone eat runny yolks!!

/ I make a mean deviled egg
// i swear they are requested for parties just so my house stinks like nasty farts!
 
2013-03-28 07:07:23 PM

Donnchadha: kmmontandon: What a pretentious load of sh*t.

If you can't get a hard-boiled egg to a proper texture - yolks and whites - by actually boiling them, you shouldn't be writing an article about how everyone else is doing it wrong.

I don't understand the point of coddling people by giving them an over-easy procedure to pretend like everything is always sunny side up.


I'm going to poach this.
 
2013-03-28 07:13:36 PM

downstairs: wee: I do it the way Jacques Pepin says to do it, and I ain't changing.

/saw no mention of poking a hole in the air sack of the egg...

I looked up.  I'm going to try that, thanks!


I do it Uncle Jacques' way also.

/Claudine - you idiot - give me that
 
2013-03-28 07:17:17 PM
No pics of Paul Newman?
 
2013-03-28 07:27:42 PM
Meh.

I boiled the eggs for easter for an hour and a half after I forgot about them.  They turned out fine.

/What a pretentious POS that article was.
 
2013-03-28 07:29:48 PM
Use the Julia Child method.

-Poke hole in large end of shell.  A safety pin works well for this. Do not go too deep into the egg.
-Put in pot and cover with cold water (do not crowd the pot, use larger pot if cooking many eggs).
-As soon as water boils turn off the heat. (with practice you will know how long this takes).
-Let sit ~10 to 12 minutes (you need to experiment to find the golden time for your pots/stove) may take slightly longer or shorter.
-Remove from hot water and place hot eggs into ice water for 2 minutes. DO NOT SKIP THIS STEP! Also prevents the green ring on the yolk.
-While eggs chill return the water to a boil.
-Plunge the eggs in the boiling water for 10 seconds then back into ice bath.
-The 10 second boil and plunge into the ice water makes peeling a breeze as the egg will shrink back from the shell.
-Should take no more than 10 minutes in the ice bath before you can peel them. The colder the eggs get the easier they are to peel. I have done it in as little as 5 minutes if I wanted to eat them hot.
 
2013-03-28 07:30:09 PM
Runny yolk= soft boiled.

Solid yolk= hard boiled
 
2013-03-28 07:38:54 PM

fuhfuhfuh: 10-minutes in a heated pot of water? How about 10 weeks buried in alkaline clay.


Ah yes, thousand year old eggs. For those days you want to eat rotten eggs, but don't want people looking at you funny. I mean, unless you aren't Chinese, then they'll look at you funny because those things are disgusting.
 
2013-03-28 07:44:16 PM
Put cold eggs in pan, cover with cold water.
Place on medium heat, set timer for 21 minutes.
When it dings, run cold water over eggs.

Why so difficult?
 
2013-03-28 07:44:32 PM
I didn't read the article, but if this is about coloured easter eggs; does anyone else not poke two small holes in each end of a raw egg and blow them dry?

/don't go there you sick bastages!
 
2013-03-28 07:47:33 PM
Anyone have some egg-salad recipes?
 
2013-03-28 07:52:37 PM

TheSteamingPile: I didn't read the article, but if this is about coloured easter eggs; does anyone else not poke two small holes in each end of a raw egg and blow them dry?

/don't go there you sick bastages!


Not done that for colored eggs, but have done that for the shrink wrap eggs.
 
2013-03-28 07:56:47 PM

BGates: TheSteamingPile: I didn't read the article, but if this is about coloured easter eggs; does anyone else not poke two small holes in each end of a raw egg and blow them dry?

/don't go there you sick bastages!

Not done that for colored eggs, but have done that for the shrink wrap eggs.


I've never heard of these "shrink wrap eggs" of which you speak. Care to elaborate?
 
2013-03-28 08:02:26 PM

W.C.fields forever: Anyone have some egg-salad recipes?


First you peel the bananas.
Second step: toss in some grapes.
Third step: chop up some apples, chop up some melons.
Put them on your plate.
 
2013-03-28 08:03:02 PM

TheSteamingPile: BGates: TheSteamingPile: I didn't read the article, but if this is about coloured easter eggs; does anyone else not poke two small holes in each end of a raw egg and blow them dry?

/don't go there you sick bastages!

Not done that for colored eggs, but have done that for the shrink wrap eggs.

I've never heard of these "shrink wrap eggs" of which you speak. Care to elaborate?


Basically it was a decorated cellophane shrinking sleeve that you put over the egg.  You then put the egg with sleeve in hot water and the sleeve shrank to fit the egg.  It looks like PAAS sells them.
 
2013-03-28 08:07:37 PM

BGates: TheSteamingPile: BGates: TheSteamingPile: I didn't read the article, but if this is about coloured easter eggs; does anyone else not poke two small holes in each end of a raw egg and blow them dry?

/don't go there you sick bastages!

Not done that for colored eggs, but have done that for the shrink wrap eggs.

I've never heard of these "shrink wrap eggs" of which you speak. Care to elaborate?

Basically it was a decorated cellophane shrinking sleeve that you put over the egg.  You then put the egg with sleeve in hot water and the sleeve shrank to fit the egg.  It looks like PAAS sells them.


Ahh, yes. I have seen those before. Cheating if you ask me.
 
2013-03-28 08:08:47 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: W.C.fields forever: Anyone have some egg-salad recipes?

First you peel the bananas.
Second step: toss in some grapes.
Third step: chop up some apples, chop up some melons.
Put them on your plate.


*Punches funny*
 
2013-03-28 08:10:42 PM
I never had a problem hard boiling an egg, but the linked article about why the shell sometimes sticks was rather interesting.
 
2013-03-28 08:18:38 PM

TheSteamingPile: BGates: TheSteamingPile: BGates: TheSteamingPile: I didn't read the article, but if this is about coloured easter eggs; does anyone else not poke two small holes in each end of a raw egg and blow them dry?

/don't go there you sick bastages!

Not done that for colored eggs, but have done that for the shrink wrap eggs.

I've never heard of these "shrink wrap eggs" of which you speak. Care to elaborate?

Basically it was a decorated cellophane shrinking sleeve that you put over the egg.  You then put the egg with sleeve in hot water and the sleeve shrank to fit the egg.  It looks like PAAS sells them.

Ahh, yes. I have seen those before. Cheating if you ask me.


The hard part is getting the egg out of a pin hole.
 
2013-03-28 08:28:35 PM
There's some advice making the rounds on FaceBook about baking the eggs in a muffin pan. Any usefulness to this or is it the usual FB misinformation?
 
2013-03-28 08:49:43 PM
Why bother with dyeing, go to the farmers market and get some eggs with other than white shells.
 
2013-03-28 08:57:06 PM
Helpful hint for deviled eggs.

If, on a whim, you mix bacon into the yolk with the mayo, make sure you let people know.  Otherwise they will think there is ground up shell in the mix.  While humorous, it did require some explaining and eventually a little sign next to the tray.
 
2013-03-28 09:00:27 PM

Betep: tylerdurden217: That article was full of fail. "You don't boil eggs for 10 minutes, you cover them and take them off the heat and then shock the eggs in ice cold water"

Great. Already knew that. Way too verbose though.

I thought the article was going to reveal a different way... like steaming or baking them in the oven. Both of those methods will cook them in the shell. The dry heat in the oven works perfectly, but it probably isn't best for coloring since the shell darkens slightly.

/could eat eggs all day.

Oh?


If my boy says he can eat 50 eggs then he can eat 50 eggs.
 
2013-03-28 09:06:57 PM
I do this...

1.  Fill pot with enough water to cover eggs
2.  Put in eggs.  You do this while the water is cold, because dropping them into boiling water will make them crack.  Perhaps the author of the article will disagree.
3.  Once the water starts boiling, let it go like that for a few minutes.

I've never had a disappointing batch.  I'm no Farking Bobby Flay...  But that simple process works just fine for the size of the pot, the temp of the water, bla bla bla bla.....

I'm suddenly in the mood for some deviled eggs.
 
2013-03-28 09:15:26 PM

revrendjim: If my boy says he can eat 50 eggs then he can eat 50 eggs.


Here's the music.  This soundtrack is in my iPod and is awesome.  Eyewitness News theme........
 
2013-03-28 09:16:49 PM

anuran: The stupid twunt has given a recipe for soft-boiled eggs. Ten minutes will give you an unset yolk.

If you want hard-boiled eggs go with the Egg Board (and the Joy of Cooking and pretty much every other farking cookbook in the world) recommendations - 15 minutes for large eggs. Add two minutes if they're not room temperature.

You don't need to leave them in ice water for five minutes. A minute or so is long enough to stop the cooking process.


Motherfarking this.  If I bring eggs just to a boil, remove from heat, and let sit for ten minutes in the hot water, even the whites are not cooked through.
 
2013-03-28 09:32:23 PM
A) No shiat
B) Who the fark gets cooking advice from Slate (or Fark, for that matter)
 
2013-03-28 09:48:50 PM
I have prepared eggs both ways.   I prefer the traditional way of boiling for ten mins.  Makes them easier to peel.
 
2013-03-28 09:53:37 PM
Sous Vide makes all kinds of crazy eggs possible.
makezineblog.files.wordpress.com

Soft boiled eggs are a breeze.

blog.friendseat.com

Plus it gets boring things like hard boiled eggs perfect. And if you don't have the money to spring for a nice machine like this one:

images.costco.com
you get to go all Mad Scientist and build something like this much cheaper:

seattlefoodgeek.com

And when you cook meat, you have the perfect excuse for using a blowtorch in the kitchen. Who doesn't want an excuse to use a blowtorch when cooking?

/Technically, cooking eggs in their shells isn't sous vide but it doesn't matter since you're just skipping using one of the more annoying tools anyway
 
2013-03-28 10:26:46 PM

EngineerAU: Sous Vide makes all kinds of crazy eggs possible.


Soft boiled eggs are a breeze.



Plus it gets boring things like hard boiled eggs perfect. And if you don't have the money to spring for a nice machine like this one:


you get to go all Mad Scientist and build something like this much cheaper:



And when you cook meat, you have the perfect excuse for using a blowtorch in the kitchen. Who doesn't want an excuse to use a blowtorch when cooking?

/Technically, cooking eggs in their shells isn't sous vide but it doesn't matter since you're just skipping using one of the more annoying tools anyway


I built almost exactly that beast. Same controller with a solid-state relay and a commercial heating element. It rocks.
 
2013-03-28 10:36:44 PM

kmmontandon: What a pretentious load of sh*t.

If you can't get a hard-boiled egg to a proper texture - yolks and whites - by actually boiling them, you shouldn't be writing an article about how everyone else is doing it wrong.


Yeah.  I boil eggs all the time for salads and such.  I don't even use a timer, just boil them 10 minutes-ish.  I never have leathery whites or half-raw yokes.

TFA author is a F idiot.
 
2013-03-28 10:44:49 PM

revrendjim: If my boy says he can eat 50 eggs then he can eat 50 eggs.


Only 50? Sonya Thomas is not impressed.
 
2013-03-28 10:59:08 PM

scruffynerfherder: I have prepared eggs both ways.   I prefer the traditional way of boiling for ten mins.  Makes them easier to peel.


I've also done them both ways and prefer the way described in the article, except I found that 15 minutes produced the best results.
 
2013-03-28 11:13:35 PM
i.walmart.com
 
2013-03-28 11:19:08 PM

W.C.fields forever: AverageAmericanGuy: W.C.fields forever: Anyone have some egg-salad recipes?

First you peel the bananas.
Second step: toss in some grapes.
Third step: chop up some apples, chop up some melons.
Put them on your plate.

*Punches funny*


First you get the ham.  Get the one with the big bone in it.

First you make one spiral slice all the way around the ham, down to the bone, starting at the top (but you have the shank turned up-side down so it's really the bottom).
Second you prepare the nice glaze marinade with sriracha and pineapple and stuff
Third you add Grey Poupon
Then bake until it's done

/Serve with Pineapple slices stuck in teh side with whole cloves
 
2013-03-28 11:21:13 PM

ladyfortuna: WordyGrrl:

Damn you to hell. You just reminded me of how much Stats homework I've got to do before Sunday.

I feel your pain. SO glad I got that over with last semester.


I've never had a class that's so incredibly time-consuming. And if I don't pull an Easter Bunny out of my hat on the next few exams, I'll be re-enduring that pain (along with Managerial Accounting) and destroying my dream a nice, fluffy graduating semester followed by lucrative job offers. All this frigging math had better be worth it.
 
2013-03-28 11:22:54 PM

hoosierstace: [i.walmart.com image 215x215]


i1.squidoocdn.com

Don't make him angry. You wouldn't like him when he's angry.
 
2013-03-28 11:28:36 PM
The rate of heating of the water and initial egg temperature are also important.   The amount of cooking your eggs will get post boil depends on the relative masses of egg and water and the heat storage capacity of your pot.  None of this information is given in the article.
 
2013-03-29 12:46:40 AM
How can you not hard-boil an egg? It's not NOT hard-boiling it that gives me problems.
 
2013-03-29 01:53:57 AM

ski9600: W.C.fields forever: AverageAmericanGuy: W.C.fields forever: Anyone have some egg-salad recipes?

First you peel the bananas.
Second step: toss in some grapes.
Third step: chop up some apples, chop up some melons.
Put them on your plate.

*Punches funny*

First you get the ham.  Get the one with the big bone in it.

First you make one spiral slice all the way around the ham, down to the bone, starting at the top (but you have the shank turned up-side down so it's really the bottom).
Second you prepare the nice glaze marinade with sriracha and pineapple and stuff
Third you add Grey Poupon
Then bake until it's done

/Serve with Pineapple slices stuck in teh side with whole cloves


Ew. Maple glaze all the way.
 
2013-03-29 01:54:51 AM

Gyrfalcon: How can you not hard-boil an egg? It's not NOT hard-boiling it that gives me problems.


Just to be clear, these sentences aren't not dissimilar.
 
2013-03-29 03:09:18 AM

WordyGrrl: ladyfortuna: WordyGrrl:

Damn you to hell. You just reminded me of how much Stats homework I've got to do before Sunday.

I feel your pain. SO glad I got that over with last semester.

I've never had a class that's so incredibly time-consuming. And if I don't pull an Easter Bunny out of my hat on the next few exams, I'll be re-enduring that pain (along with Managerial Accounting) and destroying my dream a nice, fluffy graduating semester followed by lucrative job offers. All this frigging math had better be worth it.


I was lucky enough to get help from a couple of class-mates. I appreciate the class because if I go into database stuff at all I'll need to understand stats for that, but man was it difficult considering I cannot keep numbers straight in my head to save my life.  Good luck... and don't forget even if YOUR prof can't help you, someone else in the department can and that's what you're paying for.
 
2013-03-29 07:59:27 AM
Culinary bookmark.
 
2013-03-29 10:53:22 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: downstairs: AverageAmericanGuy: If your yolks are hard all the way through, you've already lost.

[farm8.staticflickr.com image 550x825]

How did you do that?

http://bossacafez.blogspot.jp/2012/03/ajitsuke-tamago.html


Did you really just ask how he made a soft boiled egg and did he really post a link to some wacky japanese crap?

ye gods, we are truly fallen as a culture. soft-boiled eggs were standard breakfast fare until the 70s in this country, yet within one generation you have become completely ignorant of them and have to relearn about it from japan.

God save us all.
 
2013-03-29 11:26:11 AM

downstairs: AverageAmericanGuy: If your yolks are hard all the way through, you've already lost.

[farm8.staticflickr.com image 550x825]

How did you do that?


My method is another Alton Brown creation.
1. Load the eggs into an electric kettle
2. Fill kettle with water about 1" (2.5 cm) above the level of the eggs. (Make sure to stay below the max fill line of your kettle.)
3. Turn on kettle. It should shut off automatically when the water temp hits boiling.
4. Let them sit in the hot water. 8 minutes for slightly runny yolks (as above), 10-12 for hard boil (YMMV).
5. Pour out excess water, and place eggs in a large bowl of ice water to stop cooking.
 
2013-03-29 11:27:43 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: If your yolks are hard all the way through, you've already lost.

[farm8.staticflickr.com image 550x825]


Because everyone should like things how YOU like them.
 
2013-03-29 12:58:26 PM
i630.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-29 01:12:58 PM
media1.s-nbcnews.com
 
2013-03-29 05:45:43 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: If your yolks are hard all the way through, you've already lost.

[farm8.staticflickr.com image 550x825]


But then that wouldn't be a hard boiled egg, now would it?
 
2013-03-29 09:26:01 PM

willfullyobscure: AverageAmericanGuy: downstairs: AverageAmericanGuy: If your yolks are hard all the way through, you've already lost.

[farm8.staticflickr.com image 550x825]

How did you do that?

http://bossacafez.blogspot.jp/2012/03/ajitsuke-tamago.html

Did you really just ask how he made a soft boiled egg and did he really post a link to some wacky japanese crap?

ye gods, we are truly fallen as a culture. soft-boiled eggs were standard breakfast fare until the 70s in this country, yet within one generation you have become completely ignorant of them and have to relearn about it from japan.

God save us all.


Wait - So your claim is that everyone who as grown up after the 70's is a retard?

OK - Well, I'm not arguing too hard against that one...
 
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