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(Slate)   Before you make those hard boiled eggs to color for Easter, I just want to remind you that you're doing it wrong   (slate.com) divider line 157
    More: Obvious, Easter  
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17471 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Mar 2013 at 5:18 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-28 05:55:42 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: If your yolks are hard all the way through, you've already lost.

[farm8.staticflickr.com image 550x825]


Runny yolks make me cringe.
 
2013-03-28 05:56:17 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: If your yolks are hard all the way through, you've already lost.

[farm8.staticflickr.com image 550x825]


Enjoy your salmonella.
 
2013-03-28 05:56:39 PM

tylerdurden217: That article was full of fail. "You don't boil eggs for 10 minutes, you cover them and take them off the heat and then shock the eggs in ice cold water"

Great. Already knew that. Way too verbose though.

I thought the article was going to reveal a different way... like steaming or baking them in the oven. Both of those methods will cook them in the shell. The dry heat in the oven works perfectly, but it probably isn't best for coloring since the shell darkens slightly.

/could eat eggs all day.


Oh?
 
2013-03-28 05:57:37 PM

chopit: AverageAmericanGuy: If your yolks are hard all the way through, you've already lost.

[farm8.staticflickr.com image 550x825]

Enjoy your salmonella.


Salmonella vaccination is actually pretty effective everywhere it's used. That excludes the US, of course.
 
2013-03-28 05:58:36 PM

Ablejack: 9-13 minutes? While cooking anything, doneness is a measure of temperature, not time. Sous-vide your eggs.


I bought a Nu-Wave PIC and I have some cheap enamelware that I use for solar cooking. I'm going to give sous vide a try with a steak and an evacuated freezer bag.

I'm still trying to decide whether to light sear, then sous vide OR sous vide then light sear OR light sear, sous vide, then light sear again. I'm probably going with the second option.

I'm not convinced that it isn't upscale boil-in-a-bag but hothing I've purchased can't be used for something else. In fact, I bought the PIC to make yogurt with among other excuses.

The thing is adjustable down to 100 deg F. I couldn't any other portable induction cooker that went that low. And it was only $79 on Amazon.
 
2013-03-28 05:58:57 PM
Easter and April fools all in one: Tell the kids to go find the eggs you didn't hide.
 
2013-03-28 05:59:02 PM

wildcardjack: [blog.khymos.org image 600x138]

Full explanation


Damn you to hell. You just reminded me of how much Stats homework I've got to do before Sunday.

Also, this:

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-03-28 05:59:40 PM
I think he's the author of the books:

Taking The Fun Out of Cooking
No Eggs For You!
How To Duck a Punch While Wearing a Chef's Hat
 
2013-03-28 06:00:14 PM

studs up: ftfa
Furthermore, cooking eggs in boiling water disturbs whatever domestic tranquility you have carefully cultivated in your kitchen. Boiling eggs will rattle disquietingly in the pot, jarring your nerves

that is pro level sensitivity.


I almost feel like this article was an early April Fool's joke. Otherwise it's a load of shiat.
 
2013-03-28 06:01:16 PM

Orange-Pippin: FTA: Store hard-boiled eggs in an egg carton in the refrigerator for up to several days.

They last longer if you pickle them. Seriously. Great use for that left over canned beat juice.
/saves a ton of cash too
//make killer deviled eggs

[i.imgur.com image 520x347]


1) that looks amazing
2) fark beets - beets are the greatest evil known to man
3) those still look amazing
 
2013-03-28 06:01:37 PM

oldfarthenry: - put 12 eggs in the microwave
- nuke for ten minutes on `high'
- whistle nonchalantly whilst scurrying out the kitchen when the microwave door blows off its hinges
- look completely innocent when wifey-poo starts screaming


Was she mad because you destroyed the microwave or because she thought you farted in the kitchen again?
 
2013-03-28 06:02:14 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: If your yolks are hard all the way through, you've already lost.

[farm8.staticflickr.com image 550x825]


That's disgusting.  On the plus side:  Madred likes you, Human.

images1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-03-28 06:02:18 PM

namatad: Orange-Pippin: FTA: Store hard-boiled eggs in an egg carton in the refrigerator for up to several days.

They last longer if you pickle them. Seriously. Great use for that left over canned beat juice.
/saves a ton of cash too
//make killer deviled eggs

[i.imgur.com image 520x347]

1) that looks amazing
2) fark beets - beets are the greatest evil known to man
3) those still look amazing


Like a sulphuric lotus.
 
2013-03-28 06:02:52 PM
What a twatwaffle. I like my hard boiled eggs just fine the way I boil them. They 's delish.

/I have this nifty egg shaped thing you put in the water and it will tell you how hard boiled (soft, medium, hard) the eggs have become- eerily accurate too
 
2013-03-28 06:02:55 PM

namatad: Orange-Pippin: FTA: Store hard-boiled eggs in an egg carton in the refrigerator for up to several days.

They last longer if you pickle them. Seriously. Great use for that left over canned beat juice.
/saves a ton of cash too
//make killer deviled eggs

[i.imgur.com image 520x347]

1) that looks amazing
2) fark beets - beets are the greatest evil known to man
3) those still look amazing


Beets rock man.

littlebylisten.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-03-28 06:07:28 PM
WordyGrrl:

Damn you to hell. You just reminded me of how much Stats homework I've got to do before Sunday.

I feel your pain. SO glad I got that over with last semester.
 
2013-03-28 06:07:31 PM
No.  You're doing it wrong by boiling and painting the eggs for the Easter egg hunt in the first place.  Do kids actually get excited about this?  "Yay!!!!! Hard-boiled eggs!!!!!"

Fun:
ts2.mm.bing.net
 
2013-03-28 06:07:40 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-03-28 06:07:44 PM
The stupid twunt has given a recipe for soft-boiled eggs. Ten minutes will give you an unset yolk.

If you want hard-boiled eggs go with the Egg Board (and the Joy of Cooking and pretty much every other farking cookbook in the world) recommendations - 15 minutes for large eggs. Add two minutes if they're not room temperature.

You don't need to leave them in ice water for five minutes. A minute or so is long enough to stop the cooking process.
 
2013-03-28 06:07:59 PM

Donnchadha: I_Am_Weasel: I already knew that!

Although, those clever scientists, forgoing cancer cures, have made it so much easier.

[www.myseenontv.com image 280x266]

It's kind of hard to dye those eggs...


Yes but the last time we tried making deviled eggs all we had was fresh eggs we just picked (that day).  Eggs have to be a couple weeks old to peel correctly.  Went through 3 dozen eggs trying to get 1 dozen deviled eggs.  I might actually go buy these.
 
2013-03-28 06:08:20 PM

8zo:


Yeah, this thing.
 
2013-03-28 06:09:09 PM
I do mine as TFA suggests, but my deal is peeling them; sometimes the shells come off perfectly, and sometimes they rip half the white off and I end up feeding the yolk to the cat. I recall it has something to do with the age of the egg, and how they're treated (ice-cold water vs. not, etc.) I can never seem to get it reliably right.
 
2013-03-28 06:09:55 PM

BKITU: Add food coloring to the Eggie before dropping it into the pot.


MaudlinMutantMollusk: Just add food coloring before you cook them


That works if all you want is a single color, but it's a little harder to pull off eggs like those in the Snoopy picture above
 
2013-03-28 06:10:03 PM

TheShavingofOccam123: You need rubbery whites for egg salad. My recipe says to simmer them for 21 minutes...or maybe it's 17 minutes. Then put them immediately in cold water and keep rinsing them in cold water.

An egg salad made with non-rubbery whites is just mush.


this
and NOW I want egg salad? sigh
 
2013-03-28 06:12:23 PM
And hey, any excuse to post Easter Eggs (NSFW audio)
 
2013-03-28 06:12:46 PM
No mention on how the D1vwife makes hard boiled eggs.

1)  Fill pot with water, add eggs, place on stove.
2)  Turn burner to "High".
3)  Get involved in some artsy-craftsy project.  Remember eggs an hour later.

She does this every.  single.  time.

Deviled eggs are supposed to be crunchy, right?
 
2013-03-28 06:13:16 PM

Seat's Taken: Some days, I don't like the internet.  It tells me I'm wrong.  A lot. There is always someone doing it better out there on the internet.  Googling my name = disappointment.  Watching porn stars = disappointment.  Hard-boiling eggs = Yep.  Disappointment.

What's the point of it anymore?


You are biatching wrong.
 
2013-03-28 06:15:34 PM
Last weekend I was with my dad and extended family.  The kids were excited about the Easter egg hunt that was going to start at 4.  At noon I told the kids that the Easter egg hunt was starting.  At 12:30 I explained to my dad and the kid's parents that they were hunting for Easter eggs.  One parent said "But we haven't hidden the eggs yet."  I said "Pity they don't know that."
 
2013-03-28 06:19:14 PM
Boiling eggs will rattle disquietingly in the pot, jarring your nerves...

Look, I have issues with different sounds. The sound of pouring or gurgling liquids makes me angry. Seriously angry, I don't know why, but it makes me want to rage. If I'm trying to go to sleep and there is some kind of repetitive noise that is just loud enough to hear, I can't go to sleep because I obsess on it. The list goes on...

But I have never thought the noise of eggs in the pot while water was boiling was "jarring my nerves". Actually, it's kind of a soothing sound. I have no idea what TFA of TFA is doing wring to get such noisy eggs, but they are worlds away from "nerve jarring"...
 
2013-03-28 06:22:11 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: If your yolks are hard all the way through, you've already lost.

[farm8.staticflickr.com image 550x825]


Yep, I like my udon with a nice, runny-centered egg. Let that yolk mix into the broth and coat the noodles...Mmmm.
 
2013-03-28 06:23:14 PM

downstairs: wee: I do it the way Jacques Pepin says to do it, and I ain't changing.

/saw no mention of poking a hole in the air sack of the egg...

I looked up.  I'm going to try that, thanks!


Been using the Pepin method myself for a few years now. Never, ever had a cracked shell or a green/gray yolk.
 
2013-03-28 06:23:51 PM
Will this War on Easter (tm) never cease?
 
2013-03-28 06:25:36 PM

chopit: AverageAmericanGuy: If your yolks are hard all the way through, you've already lost.

[farm8.staticflickr.com image 550x825]

Enjoy your salmonella.


And yet millions of people eat runny yolks every day and manage to survive.

/food nazis annoy me
 
2013-03-28 06:27:13 PM

chopit: AverageAmericanGuy: If your yolks are hard all the way through, you've already lost.

[farm8.staticflickr.com image 550x825]

Enjoy your salmonella.


Problem?

/not sure what you think the difference is.
 
2013-03-28 06:28:08 PM

wee: I do it the way Jacques Pepin says to do it, and I ain't changing.

/saw no mention of poking a hole in the air sack of the egg...

.


You only have to do this if you are adding eggs to boiling water (prevents them from bursting)
.


8zo: [www.smkw.com image 500x500]


I LOVE my egg timer!
 
2013-03-28 06:29:06 PM

TheShavingofOccam123: Ablejack: 9-13 minutes? While cooking anything, doneness is a measure of temperature, not time. Sous-vide your eggs.

I bought a Nu-Wave PIC and I have some cheap enamelware that I use for solar cooking. I'm going to give sous vide a try with a steak and an evacuated freezer bag.

I'm still trying to decide whether to light sear, then sous vide OR sous vide then light sear OR light sear, sous vide, then light sear again. I'm probably going with the second option.

I'm not convinced that it isn't upscale boil-in-a-bag but hothing I've purchased can't be used for something else. In fact, I bought the PIC to make yogurt with among other excuses.

The thing is adjustable down to 100 deg F. I couldn't any other portable induction cooker that went that low. And it was only $79 on Amazon.


Shoot. That sounded tres poopy. Let me add that I figure sous vide is sort of like  cooking in banana leaves or cooking in parchment paper. They all create a sealed environment for heat to move into.
 
2013-03-28 06:29:30 PM
Filling the pot with water before you add the eggs is such a newb mistake. Causes too much cracking. You gently place all the eggs in THEN fill with water. Helps with filling it to an accurate but not excessive level.
 
2013-03-28 06:30:48 PM

kmmontandon: What a pretentious load of sh*t.

If you can't get a hard-boiled egg to a proper texture - yolks and whites - by actually boiling them, you shouldn't be writing an article about how everyone else is doing it wrong.


I am so tired of Slate's "You're Doing it Wrong" series.  Yes, its a series of food articles about how everyone but them doesn't know shiat about how to cook or eat food!  How did we survive as a species until Slate writers came along to tell us how we were doing it all wrong?!
 
2013-03-28 06:32:03 PM
First she: ...cook them for 10 minutes over medium heat. ... The yolks, meanwhile, buffered by albumin, remain half raw.

Then she was all: ...Let the eggs rest, silently and peacefully, in the water for 10 minutes.

So letting eggs stand for 10 minutes in hot water cooks the yolks better than 10 minutes over medium heat?
 
2013-03-28 06:34:28 PM

TaterTot_HotDish: kmmontandon: What a pretentious load of sh*t.

If you can't get a hard-boiled egg to a proper texture - yolks and whites - by actually boiling them, you shouldn't be writing an article about how everyone else is doing it wrong.

I am so tired of Slate's "You're Doing it Wrong" series.  Yes, its a series of food articles about how everyone but them doesn't know shiat about how to cook or eat food!  How did we survive as a species until Slate writers came along to tell us how we were doing it all wrong?!


We watched The Food Network. And we liked it!
 
wee [TotalFark]
2013-03-28 06:37:58 PM

downstairs: I looked up. I'm going to try that, thanks!


Don't forget the ice bath, too.  Prevents the gray around the yolk from forming.  Pepin can cook a motherfarking egg.  Whites are firm, yolks creamy nto dry/rubbery, no sulfur smell, just great.   Give it a shot!

catmandu: You only have to do this if you are adding eggs to boiling water (prevents them from bursting)


Which is why I poke it.  It also helps reduce the sulfur smell and the green coloration.
 
2013-03-28 06:38:03 PM

TheShavingofOccam123: TaterTot_HotDish: kmmontandon: What a pretentious load of sh*t.

If you can't get a hard-boiled egg to a proper texture - yolks and whites - by actually boiling them, you shouldn't be writing an article about how everyone else is doing it wrong.

I am so tired of Slate's "You're Doing it Wrong" series.  Yes, its a series of food articles about how everyone but them doesn't know shiat about how to cook or eat food!  How did we survive as a species until Slate writers came along to tell us how we were doing it all wrong?!

We watched The Food Network. And we liked it!


The Food Network is to food as MTV is to music.
 
2013-03-28 06:38:23 PM

buckler: I do mine as TFA suggests, but my deal is peeling them; sometimes the shells come off perfectly, and sometimes they rip half the white off and I end up feeding the yolk to the cat. I recall it has something to do with the age of the egg, and how they're treated (ice-cold water vs. not, etc.) I can never seem to get it reliably right.


Try rolling the eggs under cold water so the entire shell is crinkled, Then it should slip right off under water while the eggs are still warm.Leave them in the cold water and remove them when all shelled. Drain the water and scoop out the shells the remain.
 
2013-03-28 06:40:57 PM
What the hell is wrong with this person?
 
2013-03-28 06:41:24 PM
"The whites, battered by the incessant kinetic energy of the water molecules, become tough and rubbery. The yolks, meanwhile, buffered by albumin, remain half raw."

Sorry but no. Put the eggs in the water, bring to a boil and let simmer for 10 minutes or so then let cool. Perfectly delicious eggs. Nothing rubbery or half raw about it.
 
2013-03-28 06:42:06 PM

Aquapope: I boil eggs a slightly different way, yet the whites aren't rubbery and the yolks are cooked and creamy without the green crap layer of overcooked eggs.  My mom cooks them differently from me and the article, and they're good too.  Could it be that boiling eggs is one of those things that's really hard to not do correctly?


Yeah! I was surprised the article didn't mention the green crap around the yolk of over-cooked eggs. I also wondered why the author didn't mention that (even though we grew up saying "hard-boiled") real masters of the culinary arts (and I'm not one) call them "hard-cooked" eggs.

And, yes, nine minutes to 13 or more minutes certainly depends on factors such as how many eggs, how big a pot, ambient temperature of the room, and how much water.

My egg whites are eggy and my yolks are perfectly yellow throughout. What in the world is a rubbery egg whites, anyway?
 
2013-03-28 06:43:54 PM
Cracks don't matter.  Boil water.  Drop in eggs.  Wait until you forget eggs are in water.  Come back and notice that all the stuff oozed out of cracks has formed a nasty white froth on top of remaining water.  Take out nice hard eggs.  Sprinkle with salt.  Eat while piping hot.  Cooling down to remove shells is for pussies.  If your fingers aren't burned and smarting after you eat hard boiled eggs, you're doing it wrong.  The proper phrase to use while eating hard boiled eggs is "ow! ow! ow! ow!" (repeat until finished).  Dangerously hot hard boiled eggs are one of Nature's greatest gifts to Mankind.  Don't waste it just because you're afraid of crunching on a little egg flake or two while you enjoy them.

(obviously this does not apply to eggs intended for coloring because in that case cracks do matter).
 
2013-03-28 06:44:53 PM
When I was a kid, I never knew most people boiled hard-boiled eggs in pots of water.  We had an electric egg cooker that we used to soft/medium/hard boil eggs and I thought that was how everyone did it.  Put in the eggs, pour in water (more water = longer cooking time = more done), and the cooker boiled the water and the steam cooked the eggs.
 
2013-03-28 06:45:59 PM

gingerjet: TheShavingofOccam123: TaterTot_HotDish: kmmontandon: What a pretentious load of sh*t.

If you can't get a hard-boiled egg to a proper texture - yolks and whites - by actually boiling them, you shouldn't be writing an article about how everyone else is doing it wrong.

I am so tired of Slate's "You're Doing it Wrong" series.  Yes, its a series of food articles about how everyone but them doesn't know shiat about how to cook or eat food!  How did we survive as a species until Slate writers came along to tell us how we were doing it all wrong?!

We watched The Food Network. And we liked it!

The Food Network is to food as MTV is to music.


Well, there's always The Travel Channel...

http://www.travelchannel.com/video/the-art-of-deboning-a-chicken-117 26
 
2013-03-28 06:46:02 PM

oldfarthenry: - put 12 eggs in the microwave
- nuke for ten minutes on `high'
- whistle nonchalantly whilst scurrying out the kitchen when the microwave door blows off its hinges
- look completely innocent when wifey-poo starts screaming


Hahahaha!  I thought it was only my boyfriend who did dumb shiat like that.
 
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