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(Slate)   Before you make those hard boiled eggs to color for Easter, I just want to remind you that you're doing it wrong   (slate.com) divider line 157
    More: Obvious, Easter  
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17468 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Mar 2013 at 5:18 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-28 03:35:45 PM
I knew that.  Ohhhh yeaahhhhh.

*puts another crease in my toque*
 
2013-03-28 03:36:33 PM
Put eggs in pot, cover with water, heat on stove just until boiling then immediately turn off stove, wait ten minutes, eggs are ready.

If that's too succinct of a description, Scott Thompson wrote the linked blog post about it in his Buddy Cole character.
 
2013-03-28 03:42:43 PM
What a pretentious load of sh*t.

If you can't get a hard-boiled egg to a proper texture - yolks and whites - by actually boiling them, you shouldn't be writing an article about how everyone else is doing it wrong.
 
2013-03-28 03:45:22 PM
- put 12 eggs in the microwave
- nuke for ten minutes on `high'
- whistle nonchalantly whilst scurrying out the kitchen when the microwave door blows off its hinges
- look completely innocent when wifey-poo starts screaming
 
2013-03-28 03:53:00 PM

kmmontandon: What a pretentious load of sh*t.

If you can't get a hard-boiled egg to a proper texture - yolks and whites - by actually boiling them, you shouldn't be writing an article about how everyone else is doing it wrong.


I don't understand the point of coddling people by giving them an over-easy procedure to pretend like everything is always sunny side up.
 
2013-03-28 04:00:24 PM
I hate all "turn off heat and wait" recipes. How quickly the water cools depends on the amount of water, the type of pot, the temperature of the room.  The writer marvels that he's "seen recommendations ranging from 9 minutes to 13 minutes" but they are wrong, WRONG I tell you, because on MY stove and in MY pot 10 minutes is correct! Damn Slate sucks.
 
2013-03-28 04:07:07 PM
I already knew that!

Although, those clever scientists, forgoing cancer cures, have made it so much easier.

www.myseenontv.com
 
2013-03-28 04:13:02 PM
Egggselent!
 
2013-03-28 04:13:45 PM

I_Am_Weasel: I already knew that!

Although, those clever scientists, forgoing cancer cures, have made it so much easier.

[www.myseenontv.com image 280x266]


It's kind of hard to dye those eggs...
 
2013-03-28 04:24:03 PM

Donnchadha: I_Am_Weasel: I already knew that!

Although, those clever scientists, forgoing cancer cures, have made it so much easier.

[www.myseenontv.com image 280x266]

It's kind of hard to dye those eggs...


Add food coloring to the Eggie before dropping it into the pot.
 
2013-03-28 04:26:12 PM

kmmontandon: What a pretentious load of sh*t.

If you can't get a hard-boiled egg to a proper texture - yolks and whites - by actually boiling them, you shouldn't be writing an article about how everyone else is doing it wrong.


And so of course it gets greenlit, so Fark can continue to be the site it was once created to mock.
 
2013-03-28 04:44:48 PM
FTA: Of course, if you're boiling eggs for purely decorative or symbolic purposes, you may not care what they look or taste like within, and you're within your rights to let them steep as long as you like.

Or not at all so that there can be an awesome egg fight when Dad gets good and drunk before dinner and starts biatching at Mom and thing get all throw-y.
 
2013-03-28 04:46:31 PM
Useful information, but I could have done without all the hand-wringing about how eggs cooked any other way just aren't RIGHT!
 
2013-03-28 04:56:44 PM
A greenlight on "how to boil water with eggs in it"....


imgs.xkcd.com
 
wee [TotalFark]
2013-03-28 05:04:14 PM
I do it the way Jacques Pepin says to do it, and I ain't changing.

/saw no mention of poking a hole in the air sack of the egg...
 
2013-03-28 05:17:25 PM

Donnchadha: I_Am_Weasel: I already knew that!

Although, those clever scientists, forgoing cancer cures, have made it so much easier.

[www.myseenontv.com image 280x266]

It's kind of hard to dye those eggs...


Just add food coloring before you cook them
 
2013-03-28 05:19:58 PM
Crap.

I only have brown eggs...
 
2013-03-28 05:24:11 PM
I'm an 11 minute man.

/if you know what I mean
 
2013-03-28 05:29:03 PM
Contrary to belief held by this one person, there is absolutely no nuance to hard-boiled eggs.
 
2013-03-28 05:29:17 PM

wee: I do it the way Jacques Pepin says to do it, and I ain't changing.

/saw no mention of poking a hole in the air sack of the egg...


I looked up.  I'm going to try that, thanks!
 
2013-03-28 05:29:41 PM
ftfa
Furthermore, cooking eggs in boiling water disturbs whatever domestic tranquility you have carefully cultivated in your kitchen. Boiling eggs will rattle disquietingly in the pot, jarring your nerves

that is pro level sensitivity.
 
2013-03-28 05:29:59 PM
10-minutes in a heated pot of water? How about 10 weeks buried in alkaline clay.
 
2013-03-28 05:30:11 PM
That article was full of fail. "You don't boil eggs for 10 minutes, you cover them and take them off the heat and then shock the eggs in ice cold water"

Great. Already knew that. Way too verbose though.

I thought the article was going to reveal a different way... like steaming or baking them in the oven. Both of those methods will cook them in the shell. The dry heat in the oven works perfectly, but it probably isn't best for coloring since the shell darkens slightly.

/could eat eggs all day.
 
2013-03-28 05:30:47 PM
Don't bother coloring them, just add mayonnaise.

24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-03-28 05:32:34 PM
That's a lot of tripe to read through for just::

Put 12 eggs in pot, cover with water, heat on stove just until boiling then immediately turn off the stove, wait for 10 minutes, cool off eggs, serve.
 
2013-03-28 05:32:36 PM
Happiness is a well cooked and colored Easter Egg.

Happy Easter Farkers!

www.newman.esu8.org
 
2013-03-28 05:32:44 PM

meat0918: Crap.

I only have brown eggs...


Egg bigot!

/brown eggs crack easier
 
2013-03-28 05:34:22 PM
The whites, battered by the incessant kinetic energy of the water molecules, become tough and rubbery. The yolks, meanwhile, buffered by albumin, remain half raw.

www.hwdyk.com

Well, I guess the laws of physics cease to exist
on top of your stove.

 
2013-03-28 05:35:01 PM
dont forget the 1/2 tsp baking soda.  Makes shelling them real easy.
 
2013-03-28 05:36:32 PM
I eat a lot of hard boiled eggs and I hate it when they won't peel. Steaming large eggs for 15-16 minutes yields perfectly cooked eggs that peel easily every time. Baking them in the oven works good too, but texture and taste are different.
 
2013-03-28 05:37:01 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-03-28 05:37:51 PM
Some days, I don't like the internet.  It tells me I'm wrong.  A lot. There is always someone doing it better out there on the internet.  Googling my name = disappointment.  Watching porn stars = disappointment.  Hard-boiling eggs = Yep.  Disappointment.

What's the point of it anymore?
 
2013-03-28 05:37:56 PM
If your yolks are hard all the way through, you've already lost.

farm8.staticflickr.com
 
2013-03-28 05:38:03 PM
Alton. 12 minutes streamed or 30 baked. Accept no substitutes. Never had one come out even a little imperfect.
 
2013-03-28 05:38:37 PM

Yanks_RSJ: Don't bother coloring them, just add mayonnaise.

[24.media.tumblr.com image 336x494]


Her?
 
2013-03-28 05:38:40 PM
FTA: Store hard-boiled eggs in an egg carton in the refrigerator for up to several days.

They last longer if you pickle them. Seriously. Great use for that left over canned beat juice.
/saves a ton of cash too
//make killer deviled eggs

i.imgur.com
 
2013-03-28 05:39:19 PM
correction: beets
 
2013-03-28 05:39:48 PM

tylerdurden217: That article was full of fail. "You don't boil eggs for 10 minutes, you cover them and take them off the heat and then shock the eggs in ice cold water"

Great. Already knew that. Way too verbose though.

I thought the article was going to reveal a different way... like steaming or baking them in the oven. Both of those methods will cook them in the shell. The dry heat in the oven works perfectly, but it probably isn't best for coloring since the shell darkens slightly.

/could eat eggs all day.


OOOH! Good! This IS where I come to say, "I hate eggs."

My mom used to tell me I liked eggs when I was little. She said my grandma fed me eggs all the time and I loved them. I asked, finally, when in the heck that was, and she insists I probably stopped being willing to eat them around 2. SO, MOM, ABOUT THE TIME I WAS OLD ENOUGH TO REJECT AWFUL THINGS I HATED?! Yeah. No eggs.

/Husband insists the eggs I make him are really good, but I can't stand even the smell.
 
2013-03-28 05:40:24 PM
I boil eggs a slightly different way, yet the whites aren't rubbery and the yolks are cooked and creamy without the green crap layer of overcooked eggs.  My mom cooks them differently from me and the article, and they're good too.  Could it be that boiling eggs is one of those things that's really hard to not do correctly?
 
2013-03-28 05:40:55 PM
9-13 minutes? While cooking anything, doneness is a measure of temperature, not time. Sous-vide your eggs.
 
8zo [TotalFark]
2013-03-28 05:45:16 PM
www.smkw.com
 
2013-03-28 05:46:46 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: If your yolks are hard all the way through, you've already lost.

[farm8.staticflickr.com image 550x825]


How did you do that?
 
2013-03-28 05:47:31 PM
Egg snob thread?

Oh, you.
 
2013-03-28 05:48:24 PM

8zo: [www.smkw.com image 500x500]


I gave out a couple of those for x-mas a couple years ago to family members (because they needed it) & have watched them attempt to make hard boiled eggs without it.

/what did i eggpect?
 
2013-03-28 05:49:17 PM

downstairs: AverageAmericanGuy: If your yolks are hard all the way through, you've already lost.

[farm8.staticflickr.com image 550x825]

How did you do that?


http://bossacafez.blogspot.jp/2012/03/ajitsuke-tamago.html
 
2013-03-28 05:50:10 PM
blog.khymos.org

Full explanation
 
2013-03-28 05:50:37 PM

spentmiles: Put eggs in pot, cover with water, heat on stove just until boiling then immediately turn off stove, wait ten minutes, eggs are ready.

If that's too succinct of a description, Scott Thompson wrote the linked blog post about it in his Buddy Cole character.


WTF, man?
No tale of being stuck in the barn, strangling Rhode Island Reds because they didn't meet their egg-laying quotas, and then nailing the farmer's daughter as you both covered yourselves in downy feathers and sorghum molasses?
Who the hell stole your login?
 
2013-03-28 05:53:17 PM
You need rubbery whites for egg salad. My recipe says to simmer them for 21 minutes...or maybe it's 17 minutes. Then put them immediately in cold water and keep rinsing them in cold water.

An egg salad made with non-rubbery whites is just mush.
 
2013-03-28 05:53:36 PM
Who didn't already know this? I always thought that this was the accepted, well-known way to "hard-boil" an egg.
 
2013-03-28 05:53:49 PM

Orange-Pippin: FTA: Store hard-boiled eggs in an egg carton in the refrigerator for up to several days.

They last longer if you pickle them. Seriously. Great use for that left over canned beat juice.

[i.imgur.com image 520x347]


Um, ew?
 
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