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(105.9 The Rock)   According to a survey I just made up, 9/10 women hate the taste of condoms. But thanks to bacon, this flavor epidemic will soon be a thing of the past   (1059therock.com) divider line 161
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4196 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Mar 2013 at 1:21 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-28 02:34:36 PM  
Gives a new meaning to "tossing off the pigskin"
 
2013-03-28 02:34:58 PM  

Andrew Wiggin: megarian: I want to make a tasty substance used during beejs that gets you high as fark.

with all the drugs i've taken, i wouldn't be surprised if you failed a piss test after blowing me.


Baaaaahahahahahahaha
 
2013-03-28 02:35:25 PM  

Peepeye: I shouldn't have read this thread before eating lunch.

I like bacon....but I wouldn't want to go down on a bacon flavored one. Now maybe cherry...


you make guys wear condoms before letting them mouth-fark you?
 
2013-03-28 02:36:02 PM  

genepool lifeboat: megarian: genepool lifeboat: megarian: I want to make a tasty substance used during beejs that gets you high as fark.

We used to call that cocaine

Yeah, but that will numb the guy so he can't feel anything and numb her throat so she can't swallow.

No one wins. Kinda.

If the throat is numb, there's no gag reflex.


True. But the whole swallowing thing...things might get all chokey and messy.

Bring a tarp?
 
2013-03-28 02:36:41 PM  

megarian: genepool lifeboat: megarian: genepool lifeboat: megarian: I want to make a tasty substance used during beejs that gets you high as fark.

We used to call that cocaine

Yeah, but that will numb the guy so he can't feel anything and numb her throat so she can't swallow.

No one wins. Kinda.

If the throat is numb, there's no gag reflex.

True. But the whole swallowing thing...things might get all chokey and messy.

Bring a tarp?


I like your style.
 
2013-03-28 02:36:54 PM  
Eh a local rock radio station did something with the J&D bacon lube last year as a joke. The radio station was giving out the bacon lube to anyone that had a cop for a spouse. They were trying to imagine what would happen in the bed when the cop smelled the bacon while the magic was about to happen.
 
2013-03-28 02:40:22 PM  
Hate to tell you this, subby, but it's not for your girlfriend.

/That would be the tokyo-tea flavor.
 
2013-03-28 02:41:52 PM  
If they could just add the bacon flavor (or better yet, chocolate) to semen, this problem would solve itself. (And no doubt win the inventor the Nobel Prize for Medicine. ;-D)  

BTW, I'm pleased to see that the Grace's Soup packet I picked up at South Florida Publix, scanned and posted to the internet about 100 years ago (maybe even to FARK) is still making the rounds.  I believe I still have the original scan on my desktop PC at home.
 
2013-03-28 02:44:12 PM  

NutWrench: This isn't a problem for me because I ejaculate Haagen-Dazs.


Do those butter pecans hurt when they come out?
 
2013-03-28 02:44:34 PM  
what about vagetarians?
 
2013-03-28 02:48:01 PM  

linc654: what about vagetarians?


As long as it's free-range.
 
2013-03-28 02:48:25 PM  

kiwimoogle84: Cymbal: kiwimoogle84: Watubi: Should have made it peanut butter flavored.  Everyone I ever dated went crazy over the stuff, including my wife.

That one wouldn't work on me. I've hated the stuff ever since I was a kid. Peanut butter just smells disgusting to me.

Mr Kiwi and I have an agreement- I won't kiss him right after a beej, and he doesn't kiss me right after a PB&J.

PB&J? Is that what their calling it nowadays?

What's that stand for, Pussy Blood and Juice?

...peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

What did YOUR mom feed you as a kid?


I think it's kind of obvious.
 
2013-03-28 02:49:46 PM  

megarian: genepool lifeboat: megarian: genepool lifeboat: megarian: I want to make a tasty substance used during beejs that gets you high as fark.

We used to call that cocaine

Yeah, but that will numb the guy so he can't feel anything and numb her throat so she can't swallow.

No one wins. Kinda.

If the throat is numb, there's no gag reflex.

True. But the whole swallowing thing...things might get all chokey and messy.

Bring a tarp?


Or ask a friend to come be the clean-up hitter.  That's what Ms. Manners recommends.
 
2013-03-28 02:50:05 PM  

kiwimoogle84: Mr Kiwi and I have an agreement- I won't kiss him right after a beej


I figure it this way. If I taste good enough for her to put it in her mouth, then the least I can do is not be squeamish about giving her a well deserved kiss. It's called intimacy.
 
2013-03-28 02:51:01 PM  

Andrew Wiggin: Peepeye: I shouldn't have read this thread before eating lunch.

I like bacon....but I wouldn't want to go down on a bacon flavored one. Now maybe cherry...

you make guys wear condoms before letting them mouth-fark you?


Never. Unless they wanted me to for some weird reason. But that would scare me off if they asked me to.

However, if I were to do so, bacon flavored sounds gross.
 
2013-03-28 02:55:43 PM  

sweet-daddy-2: kiwimoogle84: Mr Kiwi and I have an agreement- I won't kiss him right after a beej

I figure it this way. If I taste good enough for her to put it in her mouth, then the least I can do is not be squeamish about giving her a well deserved kiss. It's called intimacy.


This
 
2013-03-28 02:58:50 PM  

museamused: megarian: genepool lifeboat: megarian: genepool lifeboat: megarian: I want to make a tasty substance used during beejs that gets you high as fark.

We used to call that cocaine

Yeah, but that will numb the guy so he can't feel anything and numb her throat so she can't swallow.

No one wins. Kinda.

If the throat is numb, there's no gag reflex.

True. But the whole swallowing thing...things might get all chokey and messy.

Bring a tarp?

Or ask a friend to come be the clean-up hitter.  That's what Ms. Manners recommends.


See?! That's just fantastic ...people helping people. Isn't that what it's all about?
 
2013-03-28 02:59:09 PM  
All the dudes that protest too much about needing a condom for a bj have never had the side menu offered at a strip club.

/if she asks you if you would like a dance, she is only offering a dance
//if she asks you if you want to have some fun, she is offering other non-dance options
/// don't know what I am talking about
 
2013-03-28 03:00:21 PM  
My ex was horrified by baby batter. She said that it's because she knows what it is. She wanted nothing to do with it, especially in her mouth. We tried flavored condoms, but it wasn't much fun. We'd go without but the instant a little pre came out it ended. So in the end I never got a beej. Her libido was damn low too so I never really got any in general. One of the many reasons, in hindsight, I'm glad that we're not together anymore.

/Although it felt damn good for her, she was also creeped out by receiving oral, too.
// WTF? I enjoyed giving and she climaxed hard. Why'd she get so wierded out by it?
 
2013-03-28 03:02:19 PM  
My luck I'd have one of these on and have a vegetarian girlfriend.
 
2013-03-28 03:03:06 PM  

McGrits: All the dudes that protest too much about needing a condom for a bj have never had the side menu offered at a strip club.

/if she asks you if you would like a dance, she is only offering a dance
//if she asks you if you want to have some fun, she is offering other non-dance options
/// don't know what I am talking about


Actually, they have been saying that condoms with a beej are only used when it is an "on the clock" style encounter...
 
2013-03-28 03:13:04 PM  

DeathCipris: McGrits: All the dudes that protest too much about needing a condom for a bj have never had the side menu offered at a strip club.

/if she asks you if you would like a dance, she is only offering a dance
//if she asks you if you want to have some fun, she is offering other non-dance options
/// don't know what I am talking about

Actually, they have been saying that condoms with a beej are only used when it is an "on the clock" style encounter...


The boss interrupted my post so other commenters had a chance to post.

/if enjoying a fine dance at a club, ask "how much to finish the job?"
//the answer may surprise you
/// still don't know what I talking about
 
2013-03-28 03:13:05 PM  

studs up: bulldg4life: Sounds like you're f*cking the wrong hole.

There's a wrong one?


Give this man a promotion!
 
2013-03-28 03:13:18 PM  

YoOjo: Why would you put a condom wearing penis in the mouth?
As long as you have a bit of respect for each other you'll be up-to-date tested, there are no such thing as mouth babies, so what gives?


Thanking you for your post YoOjo!!! But now I suffering from some confusement. May I ask again, how is babby formed?
 
2013-03-28 03:13:48 PM  

CtrlAltDestroy: My ex was horrified by baby batter. She said that it's because she knows what it is. She wanted nothing to do with it, especially in her mouth. We tried flavored condoms, but it wasn't much fun. We'd go without but the instant a little pre came out it ended. So in the end I never got a beej. Her libido was damn low too so I never really got any in general. One of the many reasons, in hindsight, I'm glad that we're not together anymore.

/Although it felt damn good for her, she was also creeped out by receiving oral, too.
// WTF? I enjoyed giving and she climaxed hard. Why'd she get so wierded out by it?


Sounds like she was molested when very young and has no real memory about it, but still can feel the pain.
 
2013-03-28 03:13:57 PM  

Andrew Wiggin: Peepeye: I shouldn't have read this thread before eating lunch.

I like bacon....but I wouldn't want to go down on a bacon flavored one. Now maybe cherry...

you make guys wear condoms before letting them mouth-fark you?


Thank you for the TF subscription. :)
 
2013-03-28 03:15:19 PM  

CtrlAltDestroy: My ex was horrified by baby batter. She said that it's because she knows what it is. She wanted nothing to do with it, especially in her mouth. We tried flavored condoms, but it wasn't much fun. We'd go without but the instant a little pre came out it ended. So in the end I never got a beej. Her libido was damn low too so I never really got any in general. One of the many reasons, in hindsight, I'm glad that we're not together anymore.

/Although it felt damn good for her, she was also creeped out by receiving oral, too.
// WTF? I enjoyed giving and she climaxed hard. Why'd she get so wierded out by it?


No libido, and hates cum? It's good that you ditched her. And I hope she never finds anyone who, by mistake or not, gives her any children. She has some serious issues that should definitely not be passed on to any of her crotch fruit.
 
2013-03-28 03:25:22 PM  

Mitch Taylor's Bro: As usual, farkers got it all wrong.

FTFA: "And as an added bonus, each Bacon Condom has been generously coated with J&D's baconlube™, an ultra premium Bacon flavored personal lubricant."

The bacon flavor ain't for her. It's to make YOU go downstairs and finish the job before you fall asleep.


Finish... the job? What job? I got mine - what else needs to happen?

/Please ladies, try to control yourselves. No need to push and shove to get to me.
 
2013-03-28 03:39:30 PM  

MBooda: Just out of curiosity, is there anybody else here who allows their dogs in the room when they're having sex?

I foresee a horrifying accident...



Nothing like going to town on your wife from behing and a cold wet nose hits your butt crack .....

At least I think that would be strange, can't say from experience......

/stop looking at me that way
 
2013-03-28 03:57:17 PM  

tricycleracer: I'd rather get a handjob than a blowjob with a condom on.


Has she been using shake weights? This is important.
 
2013-03-28 04:06:47 PM  

Deep Contact: Sounds like she was molested when very young and has no real memory about it, but still can feel the pain.


It's possible, of course, but I doubt it. She seemed like she used to like getting oral. Years later she didn't. I questioned her a couple of times why she didn't but I never got a straight answer. As far as I can guess, it's a mix of gross out factor and she felt that it was embarrassing/humiliating in some way. She was weird like that. Also, she seemed to have a libido at first, but it seemed like after the excitement of everything being new wore off she leveled out and her libido started slowly dropping.

At the end it was once every couple of months. Yeah. Shiat sucked. Now that I've had time to heal, I'm glad that it's over for many reasons.

Cymbal: No libido, and hates cum? It's good that you ditched her. And I hope she never finds anyone who, by mistake or not, gives her any children. She has some serious issues that should definitely not be passed on to any of her crotch fruit.


She doesn't want kids anyway. Basically, she didn't want to deal with the hassle of being pregnant. It seemed like saw being pregnant as some sort of punishment to be suffered. That and I think part of her wouldn't have wanted attention taken away from her.

/All work, no play make CAD something something
 
2013-03-28 04:18:47 PM  

omgrtfa: studs up: karnal: My wife is not really that into 'bacon' - now a chocolate flavored ones would keep me coming back for more.

I thought the same thing. Pretty sure this is for gay men. Or fat girls. Either way....not buyin'.

As a homo I gota say no, go raw dog or go home.


Wait a minute....I didn't think gays liked the word homo?
 
2013-03-28 04:20:54 PM  

Kahabut: Neondion: Using a condom is like petting a cat with a glove on...

My cats love to get petted with my gloves on.

So ...


How the hell do you get them to wear your gloves??
 
2013-03-28 04:27:37 PM  

Neondion: sweet-daddy-2: kiwimoogle84: Mr Kiwi and I have an agreement- I won't kiss him right after a beej

I figure it this way. If I taste good enough for her to put it in her mouth, then the least I can do is not be squeamish about giving her a well deserved kiss. It's called intimacy.

This


Even after swallowing a mouthful of goo? I figure it's common courtesy, and it's practically an inside joke between us at this point because I hate peanut butter THAT MUCH.
 
2013-03-28 04:28:01 PM  

dabbletech: Kahabut: Neondion: Using a condom is like petting a cat with a glove on...

My cats love to get petted with my gloves on.

So ...

How the hell do you get them to wear your gloves??



25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-03-28 04:29:54 PM  

genepool lifeboat: megarian: I want to make a tasty substance used during beejs that gets you high as fark.

We used to call that cocaine


Having a woman snort coke off a hard-on.....those were the days....
 
2013-03-28 04:38:35 PM  

kiwimoogle84: Neondion: sweet-daddy-2: kiwimoogle84: Mr Kiwi and I have an agreement- I won't kiss him right after a beej

I figure it this way. If I taste good enough for her to put it in her mouth, then the least I can do is not be squeamish about giving her a well deserved kiss. It's called intimacy.

This

Even after swallowing a mouthful of goo? I figure it's common courtesy, and it's practically an inside joke between us at this point because I hate peanut butter THAT MUCH.


So how long do you wait until you kiss him? Do you have to brush your teeth and wait at least a couple of minutes for the taint to pass? These questions are important and they deserve answers.
 
2013-03-28 04:39:40 PM  

gizmokid18: MBooda: Just out of curiosity, is there anybody else here who allows their dogs in the room when they're having sex?

I foresee a horrifying accident...


Nothing like going to town on your wife from behing and a cold wet nose hits your butt crack .....

At least I think that would be strange, can't say from experience......

/stop looking at me that way


Perhaps if you didn't spackle your crack with Jif then Fido wouldn't be nosing and licking up there until you.... wait just a minute!
 
2013-03-28 04:44:46 PM  
While in high school, a girlfriend to a friend of mine refused to give blow jobs without a condom.

 I'm sure the bacon-flavored condom has made her day.
 
2013-03-28 04:45:23 PM  

Andrew Wiggin: i'm assuming it's the flavor leftover on the cock that they dislike...because if one needs to wrap it before getting a beej, they don't deserve a beej.


You've obviously never been with a girl who just ate insanely spicy Mexican.  If she is still crying from the heat, you might want to wrap your burrito.


As for the bacon flavored condom, that sound you just heard was half of America turning 'bacon curious'.
 
2013-03-28 05:06:37 PM  

Cymbal: kiwimoogle84: Neondion: sweet-daddy-2: kiwimoogle84: Mr Kiwi and I have an agreement- I won't kiss him right after a beej

I figure it this way. If I taste good enough for her to put it in her mouth, then the least I can do is not be squeamish about giving her a well deserved kiss. It's called intimacy.

This

Even after swallowing a mouthful of goo? I figure it's common courtesy, and it's practically an inside joke between us at this point because I hate peanut butter THAT MUCH.

So how long do you wait until you kiss him? Do you have to brush your teeth and wait at least a couple of minutes for the taint to pass? These questions are important and they deserve answers.


I had a buddy that would actually make his girlfriend brush her teeth before he would kiss her again.  Although honestly I would have made that particular girl brush with bleach before touching her with any orafice of mine.
 
2013-03-28 05:26:14 PM  
imageshack.us
Scary thing is that I photoshopped up this picture over a year ago as a joke.
 
2013-03-28 05:27:35 PM  

Cymbal: kiwimoogle84: Neondion: sweet-daddy-2: kiwimoogle84: Mr Kiwi and I have an agreement- I won't kiss him right after a beej

I figure it this way. If I taste good enough for her to put it in her mouth, then the least I can do is not be squeamish about giving her a well deserved kiss. It's called intimacy.

This

Even after swallowing a mouthful of goo? I figure it's common courtesy, and it's practically an inside joke between us at this point because I hate peanut butter THAT MUCH.

So how long do you wait until you kiss him? Do you have to brush your teeth and wait at least a couple of minutes for the taint to pass? These questions are important and they deserve answers.


Usually I at least drink some water and rinse my mouth out before laying one on him.
 
2013-03-28 05:32:12 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-03-28 05:43:25 PM  
Bacon-flavored condoms? Sounds pretty gay to me. Like in a macho, beefcake, COLT magazine kind of gay way. NTTAWWT
 
2013-03-28 05:54:23 PM  

kiwimoogle84: Um, yeah. Condom taste is disgusting. I doubt adding artificial bacon flavor is going to help much. The latex will still be there.


Non-latex condoms have no taste at all. I know because I'm allergic to latex. If you want bacon flavor while you give a BJ just eat some bacon right before.
 
2013-03-28 06:01:43 PM  

karnal: As a homo I gota say no, go raw dog or go home.

Wait a minute....I didn't think gays liked the word homo?


They're taking it back, man.
 
2013-03-28 06:49:37 PM  

megarian: SuperChuck: megarian: I want to make a tasty substance used during beejs that gets you high as fark.

I make a substance during BJs that some say is tasty.

I heard pineapple juice helps.

What's your secret?


I'd say healthy living but I couldn't do it with a straight face
 
2013-03-28 07:49:29 PM  

SuperChuck: megarian: SuperChuck: megarian: I want to make a tasty substance used during beejs that gets you high as fark.

I make a substance during BJs that some say is tasty.

I heard pineapple juice helps.

What's your secret?

I'd say healthy living but I couldn't do it with a straight face


I have my suspicions that a bit of "I didn't mean to smoke that"s plus some "didn't mean to drink that"s divided by "did I really just eat that"s equals Everyone benefits.

But I'm not good at math.
 
2013-03-28 08:03:05 PM  
What are the Jews supposed to do?
 
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