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(105.9 The Rock)   According to a survey I just made up, 9/10 women hate the taste of condoms. But thanks to bacon, this flavor epidemic will soon be a thing of the past   (1059therock.com) divider line 161
    More: Amusing, Made in America  
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4192 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Mar 2013 at 1:21 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-28 01:23:51 PM
I've got a solution that we'll BOTH like more.
 
2013-03-28 01:24:16 PM
I find this hard to swallow.
 
2013-03-28 01:25:58 PM
There must be a joke in here somewhere involving fat girls, oral and losing your member.
 
2013-03-28 01:26:04 PM
bacon

*sigh*
 
2013-03-28 01:27:28 PM
i'm assuming it's the flavor leftover on the cock that they dislike...because if one needs to wrap it before getting a beej, they don't deserve a beej.
 
2013-03-28 01:27:54 PM
Using a condom is like petting a cat with a glove on...
 
2013-03-28 01:27:59 PM

vudukungfu: I find this hard to swallow.


That's not what I read on a bathroom wall.
 
2013-03-28 01:29:43 PM
Wrap something around my junk that instinctively might make my wife want to bite down? I think not.
 
2013-03-28 01:30:12 PM
Why would you put a condom wearing penis in the mouth?
As long as you have a bit of respect for each other you'll be up-to-date tested, there are no such thing as mouth babies, so what gives?
 
2013-03-28 01:30:25 PM
Sounds like you're f*cking the wrong hole.
 
2013-03-28 01:30:42 PM

Andrew Wiggin: i'm assuming it's the flavor leftover on the cock that they dislike...because if one needs to wrap it before getting a beej, they don't deserve a beej.


or maybe they're using a hooker, think I'd want a condom on my junk before a hooker gave me a beej
 
2013-03-28 01:31:52 PM
Make it taste like money .
 
2013-03-28 01:32:10 PM
Just out of curiosity, is there anybody else here who allows their dogs in the room when they're having sex?

I foresee a horrifying accident...
 
2013-03-28 01:33:02 PM
If you have to wear a condom to get a beej, you probably shouldn't be getting one to begin with. Same with the dental dam; if she's got to put a barrier between you and your tongue, you probably shouldn't be down there.
 
2013-03-28 01:33:26 PM
My wife is not really that into 'bacon' - now a chocolate flavored ones would keep me coming back for more.
 
2013-03-28 01:33:33 PM
If it tastes like bacon, but uses no pork in the flavor formula, is it Kosher?
 
2013-03-28 01:33:45 PM

bulldg4life: Sounds like you're f*cking the wrong hole.


There's a wrong one?
 
2013-03-28 01:33:59 PM
Subby sounds fat.
 
2013-03-28 01:34:43 PM
Why not cut out the middleman and fark a pig?

(No offense.)
 
2013-03-28 01:34:46 PM

italie: Wrap something around my junk that instinctively might make my wife want to bite down? I think not.


THIS
 
2013-03-28 01:34:55 PM
And sometimes the lady can put the condom on you with her mouth.
 
2013-03-28 01:35:15 PM

karnal: My wife is not really that into 'bacon' - now a chocolate flavored ones would keep me coming back for more.


I thought the same thing. Pretty sure this is for gay men. Or fat girls. Either way....not buyin'.
 
2013-03-28 01:37:16 PM
Ummm...bacon....  OH GOD.....DON'T CHEW!
 
2013-03-28 01:37:41 PM

echomike23: italie: Wrap something around my junk that instinctively might make my wife want to bite down? I think not.

THIS


What, are you both married to Pavlov's dogs? Playing a little N.W.A. can set a romantic mood and also serve as a friendly reminder:

"It's the wooorld's biggest d*ck/ Don't matter, just don't bite it"
 
2013-03-28 01:38:53 PM
This isn't a problem for me because I ejaculate Haagen-Dazs.
 
2013-03-28 01:39:16 PM
What the shiat.
 
2013-03-28 01:40:42 PM
How many radio stations are called "The Rock"? a) 5 hundred, b) 10 thousand, c) 3 billion?
 
2013-03-28 01:40:55 PM
The company thinks these kinds of girls will appreciate their product:

More likely, it will be these:

77301.inspyred.com
 
2013-03-28 01:42:23 PM

DROxINxTHExWIND: echomike23: italie: Wrap something around my junk that instinctively might make my wife want to bite down? I think not.

THIS

What, are you both married to Pavlov's dogs? Playing a little N.W.A. can set a romantic mood and also serve as a friendly reminder:

"It's the wooorld's biggest d*ck/ Don't matter, just don't bite it"


She swaaaaallowed it
 
2013-03-28 01:45:31 PM
I will invent a frappuccino flavored condom that will require constant suction in order to reward the person with more delicious frappuchino flavor. I will be a billionaire and men everywhere will toast my brilliance. Then, the ex-wife, in a fit of jealous rage, will shoot me in the back of the head and I will die.

Since I'm lazy and already got death on the agenda, I'll just skip that other stuff.
 
2013-03-28 01:45:52 PM
According to a survey I just made up, 9/10 women hate the taste of condoms. But thanks to bacon, this flavor epidemic will soon be a thing of the past

FTFY...
 
2013-03-28 01:46:03 PM

mercator_psi: Why not cut out the middleman and fark a pig?

(No offense.)


Because I divorced her about 10 years ago.
 
2013-03-28 01:46:17 PM
To echo others, if you need a condom to get a BJ, you might as well not even bother.
 
2013-03-28 01:47:59 PM
if a girl can puts the condom in her mouth, and then puts it on your dick using her mouth, she might have a side line of work.
 
2013-03-28 01:48:30 PM
Yeah ... the latex taste is totally why she doesn't want to go down and swallow your hog.  If it tasted like bacon she'd totally be into it all the time!
 
2013-03-28 01:48:30 PM
Um, yeah. Condom taste is disgusting. I doubt adding artificial bacon flavor is going to help much. The latex will still be there.
 
2013-03-28 01:48:35 PM
As usual, farkers got it all wrong.

FTFA: "And as an added bonus, each Bacon Condom has been generously coated with J&D's baconlube™, an ultra premium Bacon flavored personal lubricant."

The bacon flavor ain't for her. It's to make YOU go downstairs and finish the job before you fall asleep.
 
2013-03-28 01:49:07 PM

SurfaceTension: mercator_psi: Why not cut out the middleman and fark a pig?

(No offense.)

Because I divorced her about 10 years ago.


ZING!!!
 
2013-03-28 01:50:25 PM
Polling all farkettes:
What taste of condom should one buy?
Strawberry? Chocolate? Onion?
 
2013-03-28 01:50:39 PM

spiderpaz: SurfaceTension: mercator_psi: Why not cut out the middleman and fark a pig?

(No offense.)

Because I divorced her about 10 years ago.

ZING!!!


I set him up, he knocks 'em down.
 
2013-03-28 01:51:15 PM

Neondion: Using a condom is like petting a cat with a glove on...


My cats love to get petted with my gloves on.

So ...
 
2013-03-28 01:51:37 PM

Mitch Taylor's Bro: As usual, farkers got it all wrong.

FTFA: "And as an added bonus, each Bacon Condom has been generously coated with J&D's baconlube™, an ultra premium Bacon flavored personal lubricant."

The bacon flavor ain't for her. It's to make YOU go downstairs and finish the job before you fall asleep.


i don't think her hitachi cares one way or the other
 
2013-03-28 01:51:39 PM

Mitch Taylor's Bro: As usual, farkers got it all wrong.

FTFA: "And as an added bonus, each Bacon Condom has been generously coated with J&D's baconlube™, an ultra premium Bacon flavored personal lubricant."

The bacon flavor ain't for her. It's to make YOU go downstairs and finish the job before you fall asleep.


Oh, so it's for two pump chumps then?
 
2013-03-28 01:52:07 PM
robbwolf.com
 
2013-03-28 01:52:41 PM

Soulless Carbon Rod: Polling all farkettes:
What taste of condom should one buy?
Strawberry? Chocolate? Onion?


Sleep with clean, tested girls maybe. All flavors are bad, except maybe that really strong mint one that masks everything else.
 
2013-03-28 01:52:42 PM
meh... Kermit the frog had those years ago
 
2013-03-28 01:52:54 PM

karnal: My wife is not really that into 'bacon' - now a chocolate flavored ones would keep me coming back for more.


Why would you need a condom to get a beej from your wife? Her ovaries in her stomach or something?
 
2013-03-28 01:53:03 PM
I'd rather get a handjob than a blowjob with a condom on.
 
2013-03-28 01:53:05 PM
Are there any people actually using condoms when getting a blowjob from someone that isn't "on the clock"?
 
2013-03-28 01:53:10 PM
I'd be trying taking up Yoga to try and give myself a beej...

/Good AND good for you!
 
2013-03-28 01:54:25 PM

kiwimoogle84: Mitch Taylor's Bro: As usual, farkers got it all wrong.

FTFA: "And as an added bonus, each Bacon Condom has been generously coated with J&D's baconlube™, an ultra premium Bacon flavored personal lubricant."

The bacon flavor ain't for her. It's to make YOU go downstairs and finish the job before you fall asleep.

Oh, so it's for two pump chumps then?


encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com

Two minutes in heaven is better than one minute in heaven.
 
2013-03-28 01:54:26 PM

spiderpaz: Are there any people actually using condoms when getting a blowjob from someone that isn't "on the clock"?


THIS. if you're in a relationship with a woman who distrusts you to the point of beej condoms, that's a bad thing.
 
2013-03-28 01:55:37 PM

genepool lifeboat: kiwimoogle84: Mitch Taylor's Bro: As usual, farkers got it all wrong.

FTFA: "And as an added bonus, each Bacon Condom has been generously coated with J&D's baconlube™, an ultra premium Bacon flavored personal lubricant."

The bacon flavor ain't for her. It's to make YOU go downstairs and finish the job before you fall asleep.

Oh, so it's for two pump chumps then?



Two minutes in heaven is better than one minute in heaven.


I know what you're trying to say baby. AWWWW YEEAAHHH, that's IT!

/team building '99
 
2013-03-28 01:55:44 PM

kiwimoogle84: spiderpaz: Are there any people actually using condoms when getting a blowjob from someone that isn't "on the clock"?

THIS. if you're in a relationship with a woman who distrusts you to the point of beej condoms, that's a bad thing.


or man, as the case may be.

/glory holes rule
 
2013-03-28 01:56:08 PM
Here's my solution
d3gqasl9vmjfd8.cloudfront.net
 
2013-03-28 01:56:08 PM
Should have made it peanut butter flavored.  Everyone I ever dated went crazy over the stuff, including my wife.
 
2013-03-28 01:56:20 PM
Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfarker. Pigs sleep and root in shiat. That's a filthy animal. I ain't eat nothin' that ain't got sense enough to disregard its own feces.
 
2013-03-28 01:56:45 PM

Andrew Wiggin: kiwimoogle84: spiderpaz: Are there any people actually using condoms when getting a blowjob from someone that isn't "on the clock"?

THIS. if you're in a relationship with a woman who distrusts you to the point of beej condoms, that's a bad thing.

or man, as the case may be.

/glory holes rule


Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew.

Ew.

Glory holes? Really?

/needs brain bleach
 
2013-03-28 01:57:20 PM

Kahabut: Neondion: Using a condom is like petting a cat with a glove on...

My cats love to get petted with my gloves on.

So ...


Do you use the ribbed gloves?
 
2013-03-28 01:58:27 PM
The taste of condoms? Who gives a shiat your not going to get her mouth pregnant.
 
2013-03-28 01:58:28 PM
i1303.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-28 01:59:01 PM
www.higherthansatire.com
\Too easy
 
2013-03-28 01:59:04 PM

Watubi: Should have made it peanut butter flavored.  Everyone I ever dated went crazy over the stuff, including my wife.


That one wouldn't work on me. I've hated the stuff ever since I was a kid. Peanut butter just smells disgusting to me.

Mr Kiwi and I have an agreement- I won't kiss him right after a beej, and he doesn't kiss me right after a PB&J.
 
2013-03-28 01:59:24 PM

skinink: Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfarker. Pigs sleep and root in shiat. That's a filthy animal. I ain't eat nothin' that ain't got sense enough to disregard its own feces.


Ok that's pretty funny, did you come with that all by yourself? Because I got to say, that's the truth broheim.
 
2013-03-28 02:00:18 PM

kiwimoogle84: genepool lifeboat: kiwimoogle84: Mitch Taylor's Bro: As usual, farkers got it all wrong.

FTFA: "And as an added bonus, each Bacon Condom has been generously coated with J&D's baconlube™, an ultra premium Bacon flavored personal lubricant."

The bacon flavor ain't for her. It's to make YOU go downstairs and finish the job before you fall asleep.

Oh, so it's for two pump chumps then?

Two minutes in heaven is better than one minute in heaven.

I know what you're trying to say baby. AWWWW YEEAAHHH, that's IT!

/team building '99


Business hours are over, baby!
 
2013-03-28 02:00:30 PM

kiwimoogle84: spiderpaz: Are there any people actually using condoms when getting a blowjob from someone that isn't "on the clock"?

THIS. if you're in a relationship with a woman who distrusts you to the point of beej condoms, that's a bad thing.


Or she is into the wrong kind of latex fetish.
 
2013-03-28 02:02:16 PM
I guess this brings new meaning to "porking her."
 
2013-03-28 02:02:19 PM

kiwimoogle84: Watubi: Should have made it peanut butter flavored.  Everyone I ever dated went crazy over the stuff, including my wife.

That one wouldn't work on me. I've hated the stuff ever since I was a kid. Peanut butter just smells disgusting to me.

Mr Kiwi and I have an agreement- I won't kiss him right after a beej, and he doesn't kiss me right after a PB&J.


PB&J? Is that what their calling it nowadays?

What's that stand for, Pussy Blood and Juice?
 
2013-03-28 02:04:21 PM

Andrew Wiggin: i'm assuming it's the flavor leftover on the cock that they dislike...because if one needs to wrap it before getting a beej, they don't deserve a beej.


YoOjo: Why would you put a condom wearing penis in the mouth?
As long as you have a bit of respect for each other you'll be up-to-date tested, there are no such thing as mouth babies, so what gives?


Heamer: If you have to wear a condom to get a beej, you probably shouldn't be getting one to begin with. Same with the dental dam; if she's got to put a barrier between you and your tongue, you probably shouldn't be down there.


All of these.

Jeez, I know I'm old, and have been married for quite awhile...but has sex become so dangerous that you need protection against everything you might come in contact with?  No wonder today's young 'uns just text constantly - it's the only safe form on intercourse.
 
2013-03-28 02:04:30 PM

Cymbal: kiwimoogle84: Watubi: Should have made it peanut butter flavored.  Everyone I ever dated went crazy over the stuff, including my wife.

That one wouldn't work on me. I've hated the stuff ever since I was a kid. Peanut butter just smells disgusting to me.

Mr Kiwi and I have an agreement- I won't kiss him right after a beej, and he doesn't kiss me right after a PB&J.

PB&J? Is that what their calling it nowadays?

What's that stand for, Pussy Blood and Juice?


Boy I wish I could unread that...

/now have the strange urge to listen to the song 'Peaches and Cream'
 
2013-03-28 02:04:45 PM
i529.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-28 02:05:34 PM
Cymbal:

PB&J? Is that what their calling it nowadays?

What's that stand for, Pussy Blood and Jism?


Fixified.
 
2013-03-28 02:05:46 PM

Cymbal: kiwimoogle84: Watubi: Should have made it peanut butter flavored.  Everyone I ever dated went crazy over the stuff, including my wife.

That one wouldn't work on me. I've hated the stuff ever since I was a kid. Peanut butter just smells disgusting to me.

Mr Kiwi and I have an agreement- I won't kiss him right after a beej, and he doesn't kiss me right after a PB&J.

PB&J? Is that what their calling it nowadays?

What's that stand for, Pussy Blood and Juice?


...peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

What did YOUR mom feed you as a kid?
 
2013-03-28 02:06:09 PM

IAMBOB: Andrew Wiggin: i'm assuming it's the flavor leftover on the cock that they dislike...because if one needs to wrap it before getting a beej, they don't deserve a beej.

or maybe they're using a hooker, think I'd want a condom on my junk before a hooker gave me a beej


If that's the case than who cares what she thinks...you're paying for her service.
 
2013-03-28 02:06:21 PM

Watubi: Should have made it peanut butter flavored.  Everyone I ever dated went crazy over the stuff, including my wife.


great idea! my dog LOVES peanut butter
 
2013-03-28 02:07:37 PM
You wouldn't want to get her mouth-pregnant would you?
 
2013-03-28 02:07:58 PM

kiwimoogle84: Cymbal: kiwimoogle84: Watubi: Should have made it peanut butter flavored.  Everyone I ever dated went crazy over the stuff, including my wife.

That one wouldn't work on me. I've hated the stuff ever since I was a kid. Peanut butter just smells disgusting to me.

Mr Kiwi and I have an agreement- I won't kiss him right after a beej, and he doesn't kiss me right after a PB&J.

PB&J? Is that what their calling it nowadays?

What's that stand for, Pussy Blood and Juice?

...peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

What did YOUR mom feed you as a kid?


Do you really want him to answer that?
 
2013-03-28 02:11:17 PM

cgraves67: You wouldn't want to get her mouth-pregnant would you?


sperm 1: are we almost to the egg yet?
sperm 2: hell no, we're not even halfway down the esophagus
 
2013-03-28 02:11:49 PM

SuperChuck: kiwimoogle84: Cymbal: kiwimoogle84: Watubi: Should have made it peanut butter flavored.  Everyone I ever dated went crazy over the stuff, including my wife.

That one wouldn't work on me. I've hated the stuff ever since I was a kid. Peanut butter just smells disgusting to me.

Mr Kiwi and I have an agreement- I won't kiss him right after a beej, and he doesn't kiss me right after a PB&J.

PB&J? Is that what their calling it nowadays?

What's that stand for, Pussy Blood and Juice?

...peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

What did YOUR mom feed you as a kid?

Do you really want him to answer that?


I think he already did.
 
2013-03-28 02:15:36 PM
www.lolhome.com
 
2013-03-28 02:15:52 PM
There are so many posts in this thread that I wish I hadn't read.
 
2013-03-28 02:16:01 PM

Cymbal: karnal: My wife is not really that into 'bacon' - now a chocolate flavored ones would keep me coming back for more.

Why would you need a condom to get a beej from your wife? Her ovaries in her stomach or something?



If you saw some of the shiat my wife shoves in her mouth you would know how silly of a question that was.
 
2013-03-28 02:16:03 PM

spiderpaz: Are there any people actually using condoms when getting a blowjob from someone that isn't "on the clock"?


They must be chewing on them when nobody is around.
 
2013-03-28 02:21:46 PM
I've been known to say that the person who can make semen taste like chocolate would win the Nobel Peace Price.

No more wars as people would be too busy making eacother happy.  The lesbians may feel left out, though.
 
2013-03-28 02:22:18 PM

karnal: Cymbal: karnal: My wife is not really that into 'bacon' - now a chocolate flavored ones would keep me coming back for more.

Why would you need a condom to get a beej from your wife? Her ovaries in her stomach or something?


If you saw some of the shiat my wife shoves in her mouth you would know how silly of a question that was.


I don't know man, unless she eats light bulbs, I'd still prob stick it in there without any protection. Nothing much better in life than a beej from some other guy's wife.
 
2013-03-28 02:25:20 PM

kiwimoogle84: Oh, so it's for two pump chumps then?


You're the one who said:

kiwimoogle84: Um, yeah. Condom taste is disgusting. I doubt adding artificial bacon flavor is going to help much. The latex will still be there.


Plus, numerous farkers have questioned the need for a condom during a beej, so... yeah, I put 2 & 2 together and came up with that conclusion. Maybe Massengill will come out with a bacon flavor, too, to encourage some foreplay? Hail to the V!
 
2013-03-28 02:26:36 PM

vudukungfu: I find this hard to swallow.


That's what she said
 
2013-03-28 02:28:04 PM
Can this ridiculous product mark the end of us pretending that bacon is special?  Everything with that much fat and salt tastes good.
 
2013-03-28 02:28:07 PM
I want to make a tasty substance used during beejs that gets you high as fark.
 
2013-03-28 02:29:02 PM

megarian: I want to make a tasty substance used during beejs that gets you high as fark.


We used to call that cocaine
 
2013-03-28 02:29:20 PM
I have never met a woman that likes the taste of a condom, thank goodness chloroform fixes that.
 
2013-03-28 02:30:10 PM

Random Anonymous Blackmail: I have never met a woman that likes the taste of a condom, thank goodness chloroform fixes that.


I could never get past the smell.
 
2013-03-28 02:31:44 PM
I shouldn't have read this thread before eating lunch.

I like bacon....but I wouldn't want to go down on a bacon flavored one. Now maybe cherry...
 
2013-03-28 02:32:25 PM

megarian: I want to make a tasty substance used during beejs that gets you high as fark.


I make a substance during BJs that some say is tasty.
 
2013-03-28 02:32:56 PM

MBooda: Just out of curiosity, is there anybody else here who allows their dogs in the room when they're having sex?


Yes, but it's all 100% consensual.
www.yunasville.com
Strictly between us... and the clown, the Japanese Catholic girls... and the midgets.

Sweet Gott im Himmel, the midgets.
 
2013-03-28 02:33:25 PM

genepool lifeboat: megarian: I want to make a tasty substance used during beejs that gets you high as fark.

We used to call that cocaine


Yeah, but that will numb the guy so he can't feel anything and numb her throat so she can't swallow.

No one wins. Kinda.
 
2013-03-28 02:33:32 PM

megarian: I want to make a tasty substance used during beejs that gets you high as fark.


with all the drugs i've taken, i wouldn't be surprised if you failed a piss test after blowing me.
 
2013-03-28 02:33:41 PM

studs up: karnal: My wife is not really that into 'bacon' - now a chocolate flavored ones would keep me coming back for more.

I thought the same thing. Pretty sure this is for gay men. Or fat girls. Either way....not buyin'.


As a homo I gota say no, go raw dog or go home.
 
2013-03-28 02:34:19 PM

SuperChuck: megarian: I want to make a tasty substance used during beejs that gets you high as fark.

I make a substance during BJs that some say is tasty.


I heard pineapple juice helps.

What's your secret?
 
2013-03-28 02:34:31 PM

megarian: genepool lifeboat: megarian: I want to make a tasty substance used during beejs that gets you high as fark.

We used to call that cocaine

Yeah, but that will numb the guy so he can't feel anything and numb her throat so she can't swallow.

No one wins. Kinda.


If the throat is numb, there's no gag reflex.
 
2013-03-28 02:34:36 PM
Gives a new meaning to "tossing off the pigskin"
 
2013-03-28 02:34:58 PM

Andrew Wiggin: megarian: I want to make a tasty substance used during beejs that gets you high as fark.

with all the drugs i've taken, i wouldn't be surprised if you failed a piss test after blowing me.


Baaaaahahahahahahaha
 
2013-03-28 02:35:25 PM

Peepeye: I shouldn't have read this thread before eating lunch.

I like bacon....but I wouldn't want to go down on a bacon flavored one. Now maybe cherry...


you make guys wear condoms before letting them mouth-fark you?
 
2013-03-28 02:36:02 PM

genepool lifeboat: megarian: genepool lifeboat: megarian: I want to make a tasty substance used during beejs that gets you high as fark.

We used to call that cocaine

Yeah, but that will numb the guy so he can't feel anything and numb her throat so she can't swallow.

No one wins. Kinda.

If the throat is numb, there's no gag reflex.


True. But the whole swallowing thing...things might get all chokey and messy.

Bring a tarp?
 
2013-03-28 02:36:41 PM

megarian: genepool lifeboat: megarian: genepool lifeboat: megarian: I want to make a tasty substance used during beejs that gets you high as fark.

We used to call that cocaine

Yeah, but that will numb the guy so he can't feel anything and numb her throat so she can't swallow.

No one wins. Kinda.

If the throat is numb, there's no gag reflex.

True. But the whole swallowing thing...things might get all chokey and messy.

Bring a tarp?


I like your style.
 
2013-03-28 02:36:54 PM
Eh a local rock radio station did something with the J&D bacon lube last year as a joke. The radio station was giving out the bacon lube to anyone that had a cop for a spouse. They were trying to imagine what would happen in the bed when the cop smelled the bacon while the magic was about to happen.
 
2013-03-28 02:40:22 PM
Hate to tell you this, subby, but it's not for your girlfriend.

/That would be the tokyo-tea flavor.
 
2013-03-28 02:41:52 PM
If they could just add the bacon flavor (or better yet, chocolate) to semen, this problem would solve itself. (And no doubt win the inventor the Nobel Prize for Medicine. ;-D)  

BTW, I'm pleased to see that the Grace's Soup packet I picked up at South Florida Publix, scanned and posted to the internet about 100 years ago (maybe even to FARK) is still making the rounds.  I believe I still have the original scan on my desktop PC at home.
 
2013-03-28 02:44:12 PM

NutWrench: This isn't a problem for me because I ejaculate Haagen-Dazs.


Do those butter pecans hurt when they come out?
 
2013-03-28 02:44:34 PM
what about vagetarians?
 
2013-03-28 02:48:01 PM

linc654: what about vagetarians?


As long as it's free-range.
 
2013-03-28 02:48:25 PM

kiwimoogle84: Cymbal: kiwimoogle84: Watubi: Should have made it peanut butter flavored.  Everyone I ever dated went crazy over the stuff, including my wife.

That one wouldn't work on me. I've hated the stuff ever since I was a kid. Peanut butter just smells disgusting to me.

Mr Kiwi and I have an agreement- I won't kiss him right after a beej, and he doesn't kiss me right after a PB&J.

PB&J? Is that what their calling it nowadays?

What's that stand for, Pussy Blood and Juice?

...peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

What did YOUR mom feed you as a kid?


I think it's kind of obvious.
 
2013-03-28 02:49:46 PM

megarian: genepool lifeboat: megarian: genepool lifeboat: megarian: I want to make a tasty substance used during beejs that gets you high as fark.

We used to call that cocaine

Yeah, but that will numb the guy so he can't feel anything and numb her throat so she can't swallow.

No one wins. Kinda.

If the throat is numb, there's no gag reflex.

True. But the whole swallowing thing...things might get all chokey and messy.

Bring a tarp?


Or ask a friend to come be the clean-up hitter.  That's what Ms. Manners recommends.
 
2013-03-28 02:50:05 PM

kiwimoogle84: Mr Kiwi and I have an agreement- I won't kiss him right after a beej


I figure it this way. If I taste good enough for her to put it in her mouth, then the least I can do is not be squeamish about giving her a well deserved kiss. It's called intimacy.
 
2013-03-28 02:51:01 PM

Andrew Wiggin: Peepeye: I shouldn't have read this thread before eating lunch.

I like bacon....but I wouldn't want to go down on a bacon flavored one. Now maybe cherry...

you make guys wear condoms before letting them mouth-fark you?


Never. Unless they wanted me to for some weird reason. But that would scare me off if they asked me to.

However, if I were to do so, bacon flavored sounds gross.
 
2013-03-28 02:55:43 PM

sweet-daddy-2: kiwimoogle84: Mr Kiwi and I have an agreement- I won't kiss him right after a beej

I figure it this way. If I taste good enough for her to put it in her mouth, then the least I can do is not be squeamish about giving her a well deserved kiss. It's called intimacy.


This
 
2013-03-28 02:58:50 PM

museamused: megarian: genepool lifeboat: megarian: genepool lifeboat: megarian: I want to make a tasty substance used during beejs that gets you high as fark.

We used to call that cocaine

Yeah, but that will numb the guy so he can't feel anything and numb her throat so she can't swallow.

No one wins. Kinda.

If the throat is numb, there's no gag reflex.

True. But the whole swallowing thing...things might get all chokey and messy.

Bring a tarp?

Or ask a friend to come be the clean-up hitter.  That's what Ms. Manners recommends.


See?! That's just fantastic ...people helping people. Isn't that what it's all about?
 
2013-03-28 02:59:09 PM
All the dudes that protest too much about needing a condom for a bj have never had the side menu offered at a strip club.

/if she asks you if you would like a dance, she is only offering a dance
//if she asks you if you want to have some fun, she is offering other non-dance options
/// don't know what I am talking about
 
2013-03-28 03:00:21 PM
My ex was horrified by baby batter. She said that it's because she knows what it is. She wanted nothing to do with it, especially in her mouth. We tried flavored condoms, but it wasn't much fun. We'd go without but the instant a little pre came out it ended. So in the end I never got a beej. Her libido was damn low too so I never really got any in general. One of the many reasons, in hindsight, I'm glad that we're not together anymore.

/Although it felt damn good for her, she was also creeped out by receiving oral, too.
// WTF? I enjoyed giving and she climaxed hard. Why'd she get so wierded out by it?
 
2013-03-28 03:02:19 PM
My luck I'd have one of these on and have a vegetarian girlfriend.
 
2013-03-28 03:03:06 PM

McGrits: All the dudes that protest too much about needing a condom for a bj have never had the side menu offered at a strip club.

/if she asks you if you would like a dance, she is only offering a dance
//if she asks you if you want to have some fun, she is offering other non-dance options
/// don't know what I am talking about


Actually, they have been saying that condoms with a beej are only used when it is an "on the clock" style encounter...
 
2013-03-28 03:13:04 PM

DeathCipris: McGrits: All the dudes that protest too much about needing a condom for a bj have never had the side menu offered at a strip club.

/if she asks you if you would like a dance, she is only offering a dance
//if she asks you if you want to have some fun, she is offering other non-dance options
/// don't know what I am talking about

Actually, they have been saying that condoms with a beej are only used when it is an "on the clock" style encounter...


The boss interrupted my post so other commenters had a chance to post.

/if enjoying a fine dance at a club, ask "how much to finish the job?"
//the answer may surprise you
/// still don't know what I talking about
 
2013-03-28 03:13:05 PM

studs up: bulldg4life: Sounds like you're f*cking the wrong hole.

There's a wrong one?


Give this man a promotion!
 
2013-03-28 03:13:18 PM

YoOjo: Why would you put a condom wearing penis in the mouth?
As long as you have a bit of respect for each other you'll be up-to-date tested, there are no such thing as mouth babies, so what gives?


Thanking you for your post YoOjo!!! But now I suffering from some confusement. May I ask again, how is babby formed?
 
2013-03-28 03:13:48 PM

CtrlAltDestroy: My ex was horrified by baby batter. She said that it's because she knows what it is. She wanted nothing to do with it, especially in her mouth. We tried flavored condoms, but it wasn't much fun. We'd go without but the instant a little pre came out it ended. So in the end I never got a beej. Her libido was damn low too so I never really got any in general. One of the many reasons, in hindsight, I'm glad that we're not together anymore.

/Although it felt damn good for her, she was also creeped out by receiving oral, too.
// WTF? I enjoyed giving and she climaxed hard. Why'd she get so wierded out by it?


Sounds like she was molested when very young and has no real memory about it, but still can feel the pain.
 
2013-03-28 03:13:57 PM

Andrew Wiggin: Peepeye: I shouldn't have read this thread before eating lunch.

I like bacon....but I wouldn't want to go down on a bacon flavored one. Now maybe cherry...

you make guys wear condoms before letting them mouth-fark you?


Thank you for the TF subscription. :)
 
2013-03-28 03:15:19 PM

CtrlAltDestroy: My ex was horrified by baby batter. She said that it's because she knows what it is. She wanted nothing to do with it, especially in her mouth. We tried flavored condoms, but it wasn't much fun. We'd go without but the instant a little pre came out it ended. So in the end I never got a beej. Her libido was damn low too so I never really got any in general. One of the many reasons, in hindsight, I'm glad that we're not together anymore.

/Although it felt damn good for her, she was also creeped out by receiving oral, too.
// WTF? I enjoyed giving and she climaxed hard. Why'd she get so wierded out by it?


No libido, and hates cum? It's good that you ditched her. And I hope she never finds anyone who, by mistake or not, gives her any children. She has some serious issues that should definitely not be passed on to any of her crotch fruit.
 
2013-03-28 03:25:22 PM

Mitch Taylor's Bro: As usual, farkers got it all wrong.

FTFA: "And as an added bonus, each Bacon Condom has been generously coated with J&D's baconlube™, an ultra premium Bacon flavored personal lubricant."

The bacon flavor ain't for her. It's to make YOU go downstairs and finish the job before you fall asleep.


Finish... the job? What job? I got mine - what else needs to happen?

/Please ladies, try to control yourselves. No need to push and shove to get to me.
 
2013-03-28 03:39:30 PM

MBooda: Just out of curiosity, is there anybody else here who allows their dogs in the room when they're having sex?

I foresee a horrifying accident...



Nothing like going to town on your wife from behing and a cold wet nose hits your butt crack .....

At least I think that would be strange, can't say from experience......

/stop looking at me that way
 
2013-03-28 03:57:17 PM

tricycleracer: I'd rather get a handjob than a blowjob with a condom on.


Has she been using shake weights? This is important.
 
2013-03-28 04:06:47 PM

Deep Contact: Sounds like she was molested when very young and has no real memory about it, but still can feel the pain.


It's possible, of course, but I doubt it. She seemed like she used to like getting oral. Years later she didn't. I questioned her a couple of times why she didn't but I never got a straight answer. As far as I can guess, it's a mix of gross out factor and she felt that it was embarrassing/humiliating in some way. She was weird like that. Also, she seemed to have a libido at first, but it seemed like after the excitement of everything being new wore off she leveled out and her libido started slowly dropping.

At the end it was once every couple of months. Yeah. Shiat sucked. Now that I've had time to heal, I'm glad that it's over for many reasons.

Cymbal: No libido, and hates cum? It's good that you ditched her. And I hope she never finds anyone who, by mistake or not, gives her any children. She has some serious issues that should definitely not be passed on to any of her crotch fruit.


She doesn't want kids anyway. Basically, she didn't want to deal with the hassle of being pregnant. It seemed like saw being pregnant as some sort of punishment to be suffered. That and I think part of her wouldn't have wanted attention taken away from her.

/All work, no play make CAD something something
 
2013-03-28 04:18:47 PM

omgrtfa: studs up: karnal: My wife is not really that into 'bacon' - now a chocolate flavored ones would keep me coming back for more.

I thought the same thing. Pretty sure this is for gay men. Or fat girls. Either way....not buyin'.

As a homo I gota say no, go raw dog or go home.


Wait a minute....I didn't think gays liked the word homo?
 
2013-03-28 04:20:54 PM

Kahabut: Neondion: Using a condom is like petting a cat with a glove on...

My cats love to get petted with my gloves on.

So ...


How the hell do you get them to wear your gloves??
 
2013-03-28 04:27:37 PM

Neondion: sweet-daddy-2: kiwimoogle84: Mr Kiwi and I have an agreement- I won't kiss him right after a beej

I figure it this way. If I taste good enough for her to put it in her mouth, then the least I can do is not be squeamish about giving her a well deserved kiss. It's called intimacy.

This


Even after swallowing a mouthful of goo? I figure it's common courtesy, and it's practically an inside joke between us at this point because I hate peanut butter THAT MUCH.
 
2013-03-28 04:28:01 PM

dabbletech: Kahabut: Neondion: Using a condom is like petting a cat with a glove on...

My cats love to get petted with my gloves on.

So ...

How the hell do you get them to wear your gloves??



25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-03-28 04:29:54 PM

genepool lifeboat: megarian: I want to make a tasty substance used during beejs that gets you high as fark.

We used to call that cocaine


Having a woman snort coke off a hard-on.....those were the days....
 
2013-03-28 04:38:35 PM

kiwimoogle84: Neondion: sweet-daddy-2: kiwimoogle84: Mr Kiwi and I have an agreement- I won't kiss him right after a beej

I figure it this way. If I taste good enough for her to put it in her mouth, then the least I can do is not be squeamish about giving her a well deserved kiss. It's called intimacy.

This

Even after swallowing a mouthful of goo? I figure it's common courtesy, and it's practically an inside joke between us at this point because I hate peanut butter THAT MUCH.


So how long do you wait until you kiss him? Do you have to brush your teeth and wait at least a couple of minutes for the taint to pass? These questions are important and they deserve answers.
 
2013-03-28 04:39:40 PM

gizmokid18: MBooda: Just out of curiosity, is there anybody else here who allows their dogs in the room when they're having sex?

I foresee a horrifying accident...


Nothing like going to town on your wife from behing and a cold wet nose hits your butt crack .....

At least I think that would be strange, can't say from experience......

/stop looking at me that way


Perhaps if you didn't spackle your crack with Jif then Fido wouldn't be nosing and licking up there until you.... wait just a minute!
 
2013-03-28 04:44:46 PM
While in high school, a girlfriend to a friend of mine refused to give blow jobs without a condom.

 I'm sure the bacon-flavored condom has made her day.
 
2013-03-28 04:45:23 PM

Andrew Wiggin: i'm assuming it's the flavor leftover on the cock that they dislike...because if one needs to wrap it before getting a beej, they don't deserve a beej.


You've obviously never been with a girl who just ate insanely spicy Mexican.  If she is still crying from the heat, you might want to wrap your burrito.


As for the bacon flavored condom, that sound you just heard was half of America turning 'bacon curious'.
 
2013-03-28 05:06:37 PM

Cymbal: kiwimoogle84: Neondion: sweet-daddy-2: kiwimoogle84: Mr Kiwi and I have an agreement- I won't kiss him right after a beej

I figure it this way. If I taste good enough for her to put it in her mouth, then the least I can do is not be squeamish about giving her a well deserved kiss. It's called intimacy.

This

Even after swallowing a mouthful of goo? I figure it's common courtesy, and it's practically an inside joke between us at this point because I hate peanut butter THAT MUCH.

So how long do you wait until you kiss him? Do you have to brush your teeth and wait at least a couple of minutes for the taint to pass? These questions are important and they deserve answers.


I had a buddy that would actually make his girlfriend brush her teeth before he would kiss her again.  Although honestly I would have made that particular girl brush with bleach before touching her with any orafice of mine.
 
2013-03-28 05:26:14 PM
imageshack.us
Scary thing is that I photoshopped up this picture over a year ago as a joke.
 
2013-03-28 05:27:35 PM

Cymbal: kiwimoogle84: Neondion: sweet-daddy-2: kiwimoogle84: Mr Kiwi and I have an agreement- I won't kiss him right after a beej

I figure it this way. If I taste good enough for her to put it in her mouth, then the least I can do is not be squeamish about giving her a well deserved kiss. It's called intimacy.

This

Even after swallowing a mouthful of goo? I figure it's common courtesy, and it's practically an inside joke between us at this point because I hate peanut butter THAT MUCH.

So how long do you wait until you kiss him? Do you have to brush your teeth and wait at least a couple of minutes for the taint to pass? These questions are important and they deserve answers.


Usually I at least drink some water and rinse my mouth out before laying one on him.
 
2013-03-28 05:32:12 PM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-03-28 05:43:25 PM
Bacon-flavored condoms? Sounds pretty gay to me. Like in a macho, beefcake, COLT magazine kind of gay way. NTTAWWT
 
2013-03-28 05:54:23 PM

kiwimoogle84: Um, yeah. Condom taste is disgusting. I doubt adding artificial bacon flavor is going to help much. The latex will still be there.


Non-latex condoms have no taste at all. I know because I'm allergic to latex. If you want bacon flavor while you give a BJ just eat some bacon right before.
 
2013-03-28 06:01:43 PM

karnal: As a homo I gota say no, go raw dog or go home.

Wait a minute....I didn't think gays liked the word homo?


They're taking it back, man.
 
2013-03-28 06:49:37 PM

megarian: SuperChuck: megarian: I want to make a tasty substance used during beejs that gets you high as fark.

I make a substance during BJs that some say is tasty.

I heard pineapple juice helps.

What's your secret?


I'd say healthy living but I couldn't do it with a straight face
 
2013-03-28 07:49:29 PM

SuperChuck: megarian: SuperChuck: megarian: I want to make a tasty substance used during beejs that gets you high as fark.

I make a substance during BJs that some say is tasty.

I heard pineapple juice helps.

What's your secret?

I'd say healthy living but I couldn't do it with a straight face


I have my suspicions that a bit of "I didn't mean to smoke that"s plus some "didn't mean to drink that"s divided by "did I really just eat that"s equals Everyone benefits.

But I'm not good at math.
 
2013-03-28 08:03:05 PM
What are the Jews supposed to do?
 
2013-03-28 08:58:52 PM
The weirdest flavored condoms I ever saw were durian flavored ones, in Thailand.
 
2013-03-28 09:13:48 PM

DROxINxTHExWIND: I've got a solution that we'll BOTH like more.


WINNER!

/yes, I LOL'd...fo realz
 
2013-03-28 09:15:45 PM

Dr.Mxyzptlk.: Make it taste like money .


AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!
 
2013-03-28 10:04:00 PM

The more you eat the more you fart: Dr.Mxyzptlk.: Make it taste like money .

AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!


I'd be really sad if I blew you voraciously (fueled by intentional miney-scent) and my student loan interest and balance remained the same.

/Stripper?
//stripper.
///stripper????
 
2013-03-28 10:05:02 PM

megarian: The more you eat the more you fart: Dr.Mxyzptlk.: Make it taste like money .

AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!

I'd be really sad if I blew you voraciously (fueled by intentional miney-scent) and my student loan interest and balance remained the same.

/Stripper?
//stripper.
///stripper????


*HA! * MONEY scent.
 
2013-03-28 10:28:15 PM
FTA: Bacon-scented sunscreen

Using that will get you chased by dogs.
 
2013-03-29 12:24:57 AM
I thought guys were the ones who were generally overly fond of bacon. Not that there aren't female bacon lovers out there (Me!), but this seems to be more the sort of thing that is targeted at the M/M crowd.

/Do not want bacon-flavored condoms
//look how they boggled up the chocolate ones!
 
2013-03-29 12:25:32 AM

megarian: megarian: The more you eat the more you fart: Dr.Mxyzptlk.: Make it taste like money .

AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!

I'd be really sad if I blew you voraciously (fueled by intentional miney-scent) and my student loan interest and balance remained the same.

/Stripper?
//stripper.
///stripper????

*HA! * MONEY scent.


"Her mouth... It's full of...money!"

Now THAT version of The Great Gatsby I would enjoy reading.
 
2013-03-29 04:47:46 AM
I've had better luck with yogurt.
 
2013-03-29 12:00:03 PM
Condom? For a BJ?

What in the world is going on?

/married 38 years
 
2013-03-29 07:24:54 PM

Clemkadidlefark: Condom? For a BJ?

What in the world is going on?

/married 38 years


Sure you remember what a BJ is?
 
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