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(Wired)   Conspiracy theorist claims Secret Service is employing shape shifting aliens. White House claims they couldn't employ them because they have no money. Who do you believe?   (wired.com) divider line 54
    More: Ironic, White House, conspiracy theorists, high-definition video, secret service, Spencer Ackerman, reptiles, AIPAC, human body  
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3626 clicks; posted to Geek » on 28 Mar 2013 at 11:42 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-28 10:18:58 AM
I'm going to believe the White House on this one. Do you have any idea how much it costs to buy a suit that changes shape?

images4.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-03-28 10:46:58 AM
i.imgur.com

Couldn't they just use the space cash?
 
2013-03-28 10:49:53 AM
I'm all for this as long as the have a green card.
 
2013-03-28 10:50:57 AM
Oh come on people -it's obviously Voldemort
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-03-28 11:02:30 AM
I believe that the White House doesn't have any cash, but I don't believe that they believe that. So, although it is the truth I believe that the White House is lying.

Not the people in the White House, the actual structure is lying.
 
2013-03-28 11:29:52 AM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Not the people in the White House, the actual structure is lying.


It's that damned Grand Staircase, isn't it. That thing has always been shifty...
 
2013-03-28 11:49:34 AM
I know people in real life who at least half believe the whole jew-lizard controller race stuff.

I need out of this city/state.
 
2013-03-28 11:52:19 AM
Well then the question is... whose payroll are those shapeshifting aliens on?
 
2013-03-28 11:55:13 AM

unlikely: It's that damned Grand Staircase, isn't it. That thing has always been shifty...


My money is on the chandlers. Those SOBs are always talking trash.
 
2013-03-28 11:57:49 AM
What's so secret about the Secret Service anyways?
 
2013-03-28 11:58:14 AM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: unlikely: It's that damned Grand Staircase, isn't it. That thing has always been shifty...

My money is on the chandlers. Those SOBs are always talking trash.


Could that guy BE any more of a lizardman?
 
2013-03-28 12:00:51 PM
Shape-shifting aliens prefer to be paid in human flesh.

so... Interns.
 
2013-03-28 12:04:04 PM

IC Stars: Shape-shifting aliens prefer to be paid in human flesh.

so... Interns.


Wait, I thought you said HUMAN flesh? Interns aren't people.
 
2013-03-28 12:17:35 PM

PizzaJedi81: IC Stars: Shape-shifting aliens prefer to be paid in human flesh.

so... Interns.

Wait, I thought you said HUMAN flesh? Interns aren't people.


I thought they were a subspecies of the political species of the human family tree
 
2013-03-28 12:17:37 PM
Neither. There aren't any aliens, but if there were I'm sure the secret service could winkle the money for a couple dozen agents from somewhere to hire them.
 
2013-03-28 12:17:49 PM
The YouTube account associated with the video has been terminated, so the cover up has already begun. How deep does the rabbit hole go?
 
2013-03-28 12:19:46 PM

yves0010: PizzaJedi81: IC Stars: Shape-shifting aliens prefer to be paid in human flesh.

so... Interns.

Wait, I thought you said HUMAN flesh? Interns aren't people.

I thought they were a subspecies of the political species of the human family tree


Ah, that's where you're making your mistake. The political species are on the reptilian tree, not the human one.
 
2013-03-28 12:34:43 PM

PizzaJedi81: yves0010: PizzaJedi81: IC Stars: Shape-shifting aliens prefer to be paid in human flesh.

so... Interns.

Wait, I thought you said HUMAN flesh? Interns aren't people.

I thought they were a subspecies of the political species of the human family tree

Ah, that's where you're making your mistake. The political species are on the reptilian tree, not the human one.


Really... But what about the crap people tree? There has to be a mix of them in there too...
 
2013-03-28 12:41:27 PM
I wonder why this related video reply showing the SS guy is not a mutant ninja turtle isn't ranked higher as a related video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrDSgW3qSeg
 
2013-03-28 12:43:37 PM
Still would like to know wtf is going on with that image. They didn't try to explain it at all, and instead are trying to get everyone in mockery mode.
 
2013-03-28 12:48:44 PM

scottydoesntknow: I'm going to believe the White House on this one. Do you have any idea how much it costs to buy a suit that changes shape?

[images4.wikia.nocookie.net image 720x576]


2.bp.blogspot.com

Your suit can stretch as far as you can, darling.
 
2013-03-28 12:50:04 PM
"This video is no longer available because the YouTube account associated with this video has been terminated."

Well, that's just gonna light a fire under the conspiracy theorists.
 
2013-03-28 12:51:47 PM

Vlad_the_Inaner: I wonder why this related video reply showing the SS guy is not a mutant ninja turtle isn't ranked higher as a related video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrDSgW3qSeg


That guy sounds fat.
 
2013-03-28 12:54:42 PM
I was a sex slave for one of the White House reptilian aliens.

It gave me pinkeye and was an asshole.
 
2013-03-28 01:09:21 PM
b.vimeocdn.com

A Secret Service applicant.
 
2013-03-28 01:13:42 PM
Not possible. Odo turned Obama down.
 
2013-03-28 01:26:34 PM

farkt_up: Not possible. Odo turned Obama down.


But what about the other Founders?  They're typically involved in a buncha stuff that Odo isn't aware of...
 
2013-03-28 01:26:54 PM
I'll believe the White House on this one, because my other option would be to agree with David Icke.  I love the fact the account has been terminated.
 
2013-03-28 01:54:04 PM
They get paid in sandstone.  It is extremely rare on their planet.
 
2013-03-28 02:00:42 PM
First they freak out over anyone who looks Middle-Eastern, and now they freak out over a Diapsid-American who just happens to be a member of the Secret Service.  Where will the hatred end?
 
2013-03-28 02:12:39 PM
img818.imageshack.us
 
2013-03-28 02:26:55 PM

neongoats: I know people in real life who at least half believe the whole jew-lizard controller race stuff.

I need out of this city/state.


The jew-lizard controllers are everywhere, moving won't get you away from them.
 
2013-03-28 03:40:23 PM
The entire premise is retarded. (well obviously, but bare with me)

If the WH or whoever supposedly controls our government really had access to shape shifters, they sure as hell would not waste them on something so mundane as secret service detail. A shapeshifter would be worth a gajillion dollars if used for espionage, assasinations, or business purposes.

So these conspiracists are not only insane, but they are stupid as well.
 
2013-03-28 03:40:47 PM

J. Frank Parnell: Still would like to know wtf is going on with that image. They didn't try to explain it at all, and instead are trying to get everyone in mockery mode.


you mean aside from the false thermal imaging and x-ray seeming b/w inversion sequences?  (supposedly there is a forum comment somewhere complaining the xray shows the agent does not have a normal brain LOL)

maybe you're  focusing on an mpeg arfifact.  They can persist until a new group-of-pictures resets things
 
2013-03-28 03:53:27 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: unlikely: It's that damned Grand Staircase, isn't it. That thing has always been shifty...

My money is on the chandlers. Those SOBs are always talking trash. Can they BE any more trash-talking?

 
2013-03-28 04:06:27 PM
What's left to listen to on shortwave now that all these loonies have moved onto the internet?
 
2013-03-28 04:33:28 PM
That's a strangely specific denial.

DNRTFA, more fun that way.
 
2013-03-28 04:34:08 PM

Vlad_the_Inaner: maybe you're  focusing on an mpeg arfifact.  They can persist until a new group-of-pictures resets things


That sounds like a much more plausible explanation.  I've seen plenty of glitches in video compression that can cause all sorts of face-melting fun until the next keyframe.
 
2013-03-28 04:36:41 PM

StopLurkListen: That's a strangely specific denial.

DNRTFA, more fun that way.


Hey, as long as you're going to issue a denial for a retarded conspiracy theory, you might as well have a little fun with it.

See also: the official response to the petition to build a Death Star
 
2013-03-28 05:46:05 PM
"Conspiracy theorist claims Secret Service is employing shape shifting aliens. White House claims they couldn't employ pardon them because they have no money. Who do you believe?"
 
2013-03-28 06:42:03 PM

rufus-t-firefly: The Stealth Hippopotamus: unlikely: It's that damned Grand Staircase, isn't it. That thing has always been shifty...

My money is on the chandlers. Those SOBs are always talking trash. Can they BE any more trash-talking?


I don't get it
 
2013-03-28 07:27:07 PM
This video is no longer available because the YouTube account associated with this video has been terminated.

Awww, hell.

/Anyone associated with our new overlords is welcome to bask under my sunlamp anytime.
//Did I tell you I had an iguana when I was in high school?
 
2013-03-28 08:28:40 PM

neversubmit: What's so secret about the Secret Service anyways?


It used to be Colomibian hookers,but not any more.
 
2013-03-28 09:28:45 PM

nocturnal001: The entire premise is retarded. (well obviously, but bare with me)

If the WH or whoever supposedly controls our government really had access to shape shifters, they sure as hell would not waste them on something so mundane as secret service detail. A shapeshifter would be worth a gajillion dollars if used for espionage, assasinations, or business purposes.

So these conspiracists are not only insane, but they are stupid as well.


By God!  What if they have so many shapeshifters, and have gotten so used to them, that they've started having them do mundane tasks?  The few of us that can't shape shift are at a huge disadvantage.  And they're taking our farking guns!
 
2013-03-28 09:52:00 PM

Psychohazard: nocturnal001: The entire premise is retarded. (well obviously, but bare with me)

If the WH or whoever supposedly controls our government really had access to shape shifters, they sure as hell would not waste them on something so mundane as secret service detail. A shapeshifter would be worth a gajillion dollars if used for espionage, assasinations, or business purposes.

So these conspiracists are not only insane, but they are stupid as well.

By God!  What if they have so many shapeshifters, and have gotten so used to them, that they've started having them do mundane tasks?  The few of us that can't shape shift are at a huge disadvantage.  And they're taking our farking guns!


My god...you may be right.

Or maybe you just want me to think that!
 
2013-03-28 10:16:01 PM
The White House dismissed the alien bodyguards as too costly in this era of budgetary austerity. "I can't confirm the claims made in this video, but any alleged program to guard the president with aliens or robots would likely have to be scaled back or eliminated in the," Caitlin Hayden, the chief spokeswoman for the National Security Council, e-mails Danger Room. "I'd refer you to the Secret Service or Area 51 for more details."


This is comedy gold. I love Caitlin Hayden, whoever she is. I sort of hope that she didn't get permission to say that, and instead is some sort of rogue government funny-person, because we need more of those. Silly topics deserve silly answers.
 
2013-03-28 10:26:24 PM

Bullroarer_Took: This video is no longer available because the YouTube account associated with this video has been terminated.

Awww, hell.

/Anyone associated with our new overlords is welcome to bask under my sunlamp anytime.
//Did I tell you I had an iguana when I was in high school?


I don't claim to be an expert on Reptilian anatomy, but in order for any creature to support a brain equal to or greater than that of a human, it has to be warm-blooded, or else it wouldn't be able to deliver enough glucose and oxygen to keep that brain alive.  Offering the use of a sunlamp to a Reptilian would most likely be seen as condescending, kind of like offering fried chicken and watermelon to President Obama.
 
2013-03-28 11:08:20 PM

Samwise Gamgee: The White House dismissed the alien bodyguards as too costly in this era of budgetary austerity. "I can't confirm the claims made in this video, but any alleged program to guard the president with aliens or robots would likely have to be scaled back or eliminated in the," Caitlin Hayden, the chief spokeswoman for the National Security Council, e-mails Danger Room. "I'd refer you to the Secret Service or Area 51 for more details."


This is comedy gold. I love Caitlin Hayden, whoever she is. I sort of hope that she didn't get permission to say that, and instead is some sort of rogue government funny-person, because we need more of those. Silly topics deserve silly answers.


The Obama admin does offer a sense of humor sometimes. They would have to in order to deal with all the lunacy.

I remember thinking people were a little paranoid about GW but with OB its on a whole other level.
 
2013-03-28 11:12:42 PM
www.itusozluk.com

Claim to believe in ridiculous things, get attention.
 
2013-03-28 11:57:09 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: rufus-t-firefly: The Stealth Hippopotamus: unlikely: It's that damned Grand Staircase, isn't it. That thing has always been shifty...

My money is on the chandlers. Those SOBs are always talking trash. Can they BE any more trash-talking?

I don't get it


You need more friends.
 
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