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(Daily Mail)   How is a 15lb 7oz baby born naturally without a c-section? Very carefully with an excruciating 16 hour labor   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 102
    More: Sappy, St. Michael, Cheltenham  
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6547 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Mar 2013 at 10:33 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



102 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-03-27 08:30:53 PM  
pics or it didnt happen
 
2013-03-27 08:39:32 PM  
You don't.
 
2013-03-27 08:57:04 PM  
I have to give it to women, I would have died after 5 minutes.
 
2013-03-27 08:58:11 PM  
FTFA: George King was starved of oxygen for ten minutes and was given just a ten per cent chance of survival after his shoulders got stuck during delivery.

So basically we're celebrating a woman who almost killed her kid, and now the kid has a great chance of having life-long learning and developmental disabilities because she continued to deliver vaginally when she had a condition which should have tipped off the "Oh fark, C-Section room now" conversation?

YAY For natural childbirth!
 
2013-03-27 09:22:02 PM  

hardinparamedic: FTFA: George King was starved of oxygen for ten minutes and was given just a ten per cent chance of survival after his shoulders got stuck during delivery.

So basically we're celebrating a woman who almost killed her kid, and now the kid has a great chance of having life-long learning and developmental disabilities because she continued to deliver vaginally when she had a condition which should have tipped off the "Oh fark, C-Section room now" conversation?

YAY For natural childbirth!


so he'll be a chav?
 
2013-03-27 09:39:54 PM  
images.sodahead.com
 
2013-03-27 10:35:53 PM  
In before some jerk posts [hotdog-hallway.jpg].

/I hope.
 
2013-03-27 10:36:08 PM  
www.azom.com
 
2013-03-27 10:37:17 PM  

namatad: pics or it didnt happen


i6.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-27 10:37:22 PM  
Ruint
 
2013-03-27 10:37:26 PM  
Somebody should tell John Goodman he has to be dead before he can be reincarnated.
 
2013-03-27 10:37:33 PM  
Dang that there's a big baby.

I was 12 lbs, 3.5 oz. at birth.

/Fat Fark baby represents!
 
2013-03-27 10:38:25 PM  
Another Schrute monsterbaby, eh?
 
2013-03-27 10:38:47 PM  
How many dozen stitches to suture the episiotomy?
 
2013-03-27 10:40:11 PM  
Heh.I am on a diet,trying to get back to my original weight.7 lbs,15 oz.
 
2013-03-27 10:41:20 PM  
The mother sounds fat

*clicks link*

Yep.

/probably a chav couple in a council flat too
//you crazy brits - you even make being a welfare bum in the projects sound classy
 
2013-03-27 10:41:41 PM  

hardinparamedic: FTFA: George King was starved of oxygen for ten minutes and was given just a ten per cent chance of survival after his shoulders got stuck during delivery.

So basically we're celebrating a woman who almost killed her kid, and now the kid has a great chance of having life-long learning and developmental disabilities because she continued to deliver vaginally when she had a condition which should have tipped off the "Oh fark, C-Section room now" conversation?

YAY For natural childbirth!


Well it's still better than the "she's been in labor for more than two hours and I have an 8 AM tee time, better prep for C-section" method in the US.
 
2013-03-27 10:42:19 PM  
I had my 6lb 7 oz child naturally sans drugs and thought I was going to die from the pain at least 10 times.
 
2013-03-27 10:42:24 PM  
Just cringing thinking about it. Dropped a few big dumps and those hurt. Could not imagine a 15 lb poo....
 
2013-03-27 10:43:03 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-03-27 10:44:46 PM  
16-hour labor is not unusual.  The deadline for hospitals to cut you open is higher than that, which is why you don't ever tell them when labor started.  I spent two days in excruciating back labor with my nine-pound girl.  She was twelve days late and was born in 2000 instead of 1999.  Can we be in the Daily Fail?
 
2013-03-27 10:47:01 PM  
I'm guessing diabetes. Diabetic women often have very large babies
 
2013-03-27 10:47:26 PM  
If a woman can handle my 16 pound penis, she can handle birthing a 15 pound baby.
 
2013-03-27 10:48:49 PM  
I've never had a child of my own (thankfully), but have witnessed some seriously painful births. Ladies of Fark, I bow to you. I don't know how you do it.

When I was a kid and I farked up (which was most of the time), my mom would describe her natural labor as trying to squeeze a watermelon from my penis. That typically got me to STFU. When she started talking about childbirth, you knew it was time to hang back and just let her yell at you.

/was born in a place resembling the M*A*S*H 4077 at the tail end of Vietnam
 
2013-03-27 10:48:55 PM  
Gestational diabetes, how does it work?
 
2013-03-27 10:49:30 PM  
Sounds like massive unchecked gestational diabetes. Not to mention medical malpractice. No sane OB would ever attempt a vaginal delivery with a baby weighing over 10 lbs.
 
2013-03-27 10:51:18 PM  
one sad dude
 
2013-03-27 10:52:31 PM  

dickfreckle: my mom would describe her natural labor as trying to squeeze a watermelon from my penis


So naturally you got into sounding?
 
2013-03-27 10:52:53 PM  

rkiller1: [www.azom.com image 400x222]


As one of those engineery-type folks... I laughed out loud at that.

/should probably xray the kid for centerburst
 
2013-03-27 10:53:56 PM  
i45.tinypic.com
 
2013-03-27 10:55:43 PM  
Not that I'd like to go through that, but the 16-hour part doesn't sound extraordinary.  I've heard of people being in labor for over 24 or 30 hours
 
2013-03-27 10:58:04 PM  
Parents fail for not calling him Andre the Giant. Anybody want a peanut?

/got nuthin.
 
2013-03-27 10:58:16 PM  

hardinparamedic: FTFA: George King was starved of oxygen for ten minutes and was given just a ten per cent chance of survival after his shoulders got stuck during delivery.

So basically we're celebrating a woman who almost killed her kid, and now the kid has a great chance of having life-long learning and developmental disabilities because she continued to deliver vaginally when she had a condition which should have tipped off the "Oh fark, C-Section room now" conversation?

YAY For natural childbirth!


A crash c-section has been the only time I've seen the surgical team glove and gown themselves. It's literally as soon as anesthesia has the patient tubed, they're cutting. Time outs, tool counts, all the rest of any surgical ritual? Out the door.

...and that was for a low fetal heart rate ("non-reassuring fetal heart tone"). I never got to see the glory of a shoulder dystocia delivery (aka "Fark this, break the clavicle? Not working, paralyze the mom and push the baby back to where it came from and cut it out").
 
2013-03-27 10:58:42 PM  

GuidoDelConfuso: Sounds like massive unchecked gestational diabetes. Not to mention medical malpractice. No sane OB would ever attempt a vaginal delivery with a baby weighing over 10 lbs.


And it states in the article that they didn't know how big the baby was until he "popped out".  Ultrasounds and (at the very least) measuring the mother's stomach should have tipped them off much earlier.
 
2013-03-27 10:59:42 PM  
Why can't humans pop out cute little microscopic babies like the marsupials do? Our gestation is about 2 months too long.

It's not like the damn baby is actually going to do anything for its first year other than poop, complain and hang off a tit. Get it out of the girly parts while it's still too small to wreck the place.

Stupid scientists. Figure out a way to reduce baby size and women might start having sex with you.
 
2013-03-27 10:59:46 PM  
If any of you Farkers north of Missouri stick your head out the window right now, turn toward Minnesota, and listen carefully, you can hear my vagina shrieking and shrieking and shrieking.
 
2013-03-27 11:02:05 PM  

GuidoDelConfuso: Sounds like massive unchecked gestational diabetes. Not to mention medical malpractice. No sane OB would ever attempt a vaginal delivery with a baby weighing over 10 lbs.


Well, they can't always tell.  The doctor told my my first would be a "nice 7 pounder".
Uh huh.  24 hours of labor on, turns out she was more like a 9 pounder...

still, 15 pounds.
Ugh.
 
2013-03-27 11:02:23 PM  

GonzoNihilist: Parents fail for not calling him Andre the Giant. Anybody want a peanut?

/got nuthin.


I knew a very petite girl who have birth to a giant boy. Named him Shaquille.
 
2013-03-27 11:03:27 PM  

Candy For Breakfast: GuidoDelConfuso: Sounds like massive unchecked gestational diabetes. Not to mention medical malpractice. No sane OB would ever attempt a vaginal delivery with a baby weighing over 10 lbs.

And it states in the article that they didn't know how big the baby was until he "popped out".  Ultrasounds and (at the very least) measuring the mother's stomach should have tipped them off much earlier.


Ultrasounds can be way off.
 
2013-03-27 11:04:26 PM  
Oh yeah.  GD is the first thing I thought of as well.

24 hour labors are really not that unusual.
16 would have been nice, but I am glad my kids weren't that big.
 
2013-03-27 11:04:57 PM  
So, that's a Hungry Man sized placenta to cook up and consume to chase away the baby blues.
 
2013-03-27 11:05:04 PM  

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: Why can't humans pop out cute little microscopic babies like the marsupials do? Our gestation is about 2 months too long.

It's not like the damn baby is actually going to do anything for its first year other than poop, complain and hang off a tit. Get it out of the girly parts while it's still too small to wreck the place.

Stupid scientists. Figure out a way to reduce baby size and women might start having sex with you.


newspaper.li
 
2013-03-27 11:06:00 PM  

balancing act: GuidoDelConfuso: Sounds like massive unchecked gestational diabetes. Not to mention medical malpractice. No sane OB would ever attempt a vaginal delivery with a baby weighing over 10 lbs.

Well, they can't always tell.  The doctor told my my first would be a "nice 7 pounder".
Uh huh.  24 hours of labor on, turns out she was more like a 9 pounder...

still, 15 pounds.
Ugh.


They have to guess at the weight, but it's only supposed to be off by less than a pound, and  they can measure the length. No way they didn't know she wasn't having a whopper.
 
2013-03-27 11:08:14 PM  

skinink: If a woman can handle my 16 pound penis, she can handle birthing a 15 pound baby.


After 16 pounds, you are done?  Are you bragging or apologizing?

/If I ever quit after 16, my wife would ask "What's wrong honey?"
 
2013-03-27 11:08:55 PM  

GuidoDelConfuso: Sounds like massive unchecked gestational diabetes. Not to mention medical malpractice. No sane OB would ever attempt a vaginal delivery with a baby weighing over 10 lbs.


Well... if Mom refuses consent for the c-section, there really isn't much of a choice how the baby is coming out.
 
2013-03-27 11:10:08 PM  

hardinparamedic: FTFA: George King was starved of oxygen for ten minutes and was given just a ten per cent chance of survival after his shoulders got stuck during delivery.

So basically we're celebrating a woman who almost killed her kid, and now the kid has a great chance of having life-long learning and developmental disabilities because she continued to deliver vaginally when she had a condition which should have tipped off the "Oh fark, C-Section room now" conversation?

YAY For natural childbirth!


You didn't read the rest of the article, I take it.

Mom is not preternaturally fat, and the baby seems to be doing fine--no cerebral palsy or other unusual delays due to his birth trauma.

For the rest, once the head has delivered, a C-section is not possible. When the shoulders get wedged in the birth canal, about all that can be done is to start pulling and hope that gravity and mom's abdominal muscles can do the job of propelling Junior into the world. I've known two women who were in this same situation, and it came down to a lot of yanking. There's really no other way to do it unless either the baby or the mom dies from the trauma, in which case then the mom's pelvis can be sawn open or the baby's skull deflated so that the corpse can be delivered.

Why everyone is so anxious to make this more of an issue than it is, I can't imagine. It could have gone quite normally except the kid had linebacker shoulders.
 
2013-03-27 11:15:14 PM  
www.themillions.com


www.skynews.com.au
 
2013-03-27 11:15:51 PM  
Take mah wife, please.  Biatch be all stretched out.
 
2013-03-27 11:18:15 PM  

octopied: balancing act: GuidoDelConfuso: Sounds like massive unchecked gestational diabetes. Not to mention medical malpractice. No sane OB would ever attempt a vaginal delivery with a baby weighing over 10 lbs.

Well, they can't always tell.  The doctor told my my first would be a "nice 7 pounder".
Uh huh.  24 hours of labor on, turns out she was more like a 9 pounder...

still, 15 pounds.
Ugh.

They have to guess at the weight, but it's only supposed to be off by less than a pound, and  they can measure the length. No way they didn't know she wasn't having a whopper.


Guess what? If you're not having any difficulties with the pregnancy, they won't do further scans after the intial 18 to 20 week scan. In fact, you just show up for your monthly appoint, get weighed, asked how you are, and have a few run of the mill blood tests done for anemia and diabetes. And they grow a great deal in the last 3 months.
 
2013-03-27 11:21:05 PM  

Gyrfalcon: For the rest, once the head has delivered, a C-section is not possible. When the shoulders get wedged in the birth canal, about all that can be done is to start pulling and hope that gravity and mom's abdominal muscles can do the job of propelling Junior into the world. I've known two women who were in this same situation, and it came down to a lot of yanking. There's really no other way to do it unless either the baby or the mom dies from the trauma, in which case then the mom's pelvis can be sawn open or the baby's skull deflated so that the corpse can be delivered.


In other words, you've never heard of the Zavanelli Maneuver. But I guess knowing 2 women who have had shoulder dystocia makes you a board certified OB/Gyn.
 
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