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(Uproxx)   Headline of the Day: "Giant-Dicked Jon Hamm Really Wishes All Of You Would Stop Talking About His Giant Dick"   (uproxx.com) divider line 128
    More: Cool, Jon Hamm, Robin Lopez  
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8536 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 27 Mar 2013 at 3:47 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



128 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-03-27 02:26:59 PM
Can it be HOTY material if it didn't originate on Fark?
 
2013-03-27 02:32:05 PM
i1151.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-27 02:46:31 PM
*checks*

Eh.  It's not THAT big.
 
2013-03-27 02:55:35 PM
Maybe Christina Hendricks could give him some advice about how to deal with constant idiotic commentary about the size of a body part.
 
2013-03-27 03:01:32 PM
Good thing he's well hung.

So ugly he could scare the shiat off toilet paper.
 
2013-03-27 03:21:06 PM

xanadian: *checks*

Eh.  It's not THAT big.


Most Americans think that anything over 4 inches is huge.
 
2013-03-27 03:27:30 PM
Gee, yeah. What if it somehow got out that he's smuggling a few pounds of kielbasa? That would be really rough for him, I'm sure. Not the sort of thing you want getting around, y'know?

Thing is, if he doesn't like people making a big deal out of his big unit, perhaps he shouldn't constantly go commando under tissue-thin linen trousers.
 
2013-03-27 03:49:41 PM

Godscrack: Good thing he's well hung.

So ugly he could scare the shiat off toilet paper.


Kidding, right?  That dude is handsomer-than-shiat.  Looks like farking Prince Charming.

www.nypost.com

Most of his story arc on "30 Rock" was about how people gave him whatever he wanted all his life because he was so good looking.  He never had to try hard at anything, even became a doctor based on his looks.

I imagine gay dudes, especially ones that like a big dong, really like this guy.
 
2013-03-27 03:50:48 PM
Yes, let's talk about other actors with giant dongs.
 
2013-03-27 03:53:30 PM
What a pussy.
 
2013-03-27 03:54:17 PM

Bathysphere: Yes, let's talk about other actors with giant dongs.


Liam Neeson, apparently, is hung like an Evian bottle.
 
2013-03-27 03:54:29 PM

Bathysphere: Yes, let's talk about other actors with giant dongs.


upload.wikimedia.org
"Problem?"
 
2013-03-27 03:55:17 PM

Bathysphere: Yes, let's talk about other actors with giant dongs.


I'm sure a few of us would talk about actors and their craft with you, but not if you're going to refer to us as giant dongs.
 
2013-03-27 03:56:59 PM
Yeah, he looks like a big dick.
Wait, you mean he has big dick.
Pfft, that's not a dick.
This is a Dick.

Why, my dick is so big, it has it's own agent.
Have your dick's people call my dick's people.
We'll do lunch with my dick.
 
2013-03-27 03:57:16 PM
I know his pain.
 
2013-03-27 03:57:28 PM
Ranger Dan and his big dog Dick
 
2013-03-27 03:58:03 PM
I just came.
 
2013-03-27 03:58:33 PM
Well would he rather people say his dick is small?
 
2013-03-27 03:59:51 PM
Well, his character's real name is Dick, so I'd say this is a case of good casting.
 
2013-03-27 04:00:02 PM
imagehost.vendio.com
 
2013-03-27 04:00:11 PM
Jon Hamm's dick is so big he was cast as his own porn lookalike.
 
2013-03-27 04:02:49 PM

Because People in power are Stupid: Most Americans think that anything over 4 inches is huge.


Woo Hoo!  oh wait, you probably meant American men...
 
2013-03-27 04:03:20 PM

Bathysphere: Yes, let's talk about other actors with giant dongs.


l2.yimg.com
 
2013-03-27 04:03:46 PM
c481901.r1.cf2.rackcdn.com

That's not a dick...

THIS is a dick.
 
2013-03-27 04:04:22 PM
I would have one of my testicles squashed like a grape to just be able to suck on a hair that was plucked from Jon Hamm's taint.
 
2013-03-27 04:04:22 PM

AdolfOliverPanties: Kidding, right? That dude is handsomer-than-shiat. Looks like farking Prince Charming.


He's OK. Not my type. You just have a man crush.
Doesn't mean you're gay. You admire how well he attracts women.

And rich old Republican men.

I imagine gay dudes, especially ones that like a big dong, really like this guy.

Ok, now you're past the man crush thing. That's some heavy fantasy work there.
 
2013-03-27 04:08:13 PM
I always tried to play off the compliments that I had a giant dong, I always tried to stay humble and just say its good for its size. But I think the moment that I couldn't really say that with a straight face was when plowing the roommate of a friend, said mate turns to the friend and asks "Do you always run away from it"

Whats the point of this story, nothing really except most of us with a big dick don't really brag and actively try to downplay the titanic in our pants.
 
2013-03-27 04:10:27 PM

Buttknuckle: I would have one of my testicles squashed like a grape to just be able to suck on a hair that was plucked from Jon Hamm's taint.


images.sodahead.com
 
2013-03-27 04:16:19 PM

Bathysphere: Yes, let's talk about other actors with giant dongs.


Frank Sinatra was reputed to have been hung like a mule.

So is Scottie Pippen.

And Eric Montross is hung like 3 stacked beer cans.
 
2013-03-27 04:17:56 PM

someonelse: Maybe Christina Hendricks could give him some advice about how to deal with constant idiotic commentary about the size of a body part.


Or any other even semi-famous female, attractive or not.
 
2013-03-27 04:28:28 PM
Not an actor, but apparently Huey Lewis has "the power of love" in his pants.
 
2013-03-27 04:29:45 PM
Eeew, Scotty Pippin and Milton Berle. I was thinking more Liam Neeson and True Blood guy.
 
2013-03-27 04:30:23 PM
Meh, I've had bigger ones.
 
2013-03-27 04:30:43 PM

AdolfOliverPanties: Godscrack: Good thing he's well hung.

So ugly he could scare the shiat off toilet paper.

Kidding, right?  That dude is handsomer-than-shiat.  Looks like farking Prince Charming.

[www.nypost.com image 358x469]


You know, now that you mention it, I can totally see him playing Prince Charming in a Fables (the Vertigo series) adaptation.
 
2013-03-27 04:32:46 PM

whistleridge: Bathysphere: Yes, let's talk about other actors with giant dongs.

Frank Sinatra was reputed to have been hung like a mule.


Supposedly, Ava Gardner said, "Frank Sinatra is 120 pounds, but 110 of it is cock."
 
2013-03-27 04:33:38 PM
On a serious note, he kinda sounds like a whiner. He's a funny guy, so maybe he's just pretending to be ruffled. If I had a tumblr account for my lady parts, I'd visit it every day and laugh.
 
2013-03-27 04:35:45 PM

Godscrack: AdolfOliverPanties: Kidding, right? That dude is handsomer-than-shiat. Looks like farking Prince Charming.

He's OK. Not my type. You just have a man crush.
Doesn't mean you're gay. You admire how well he attracts women.

And rich old Republican men.

I imagine gay dudes, especially ones that like a big dong, really like this guy.

Ok, now you're past the man crush thing. That's some heavy fantasy work there.


Yeah, I thought about that sentence after I posted it.  "I imagine..."  What the hell am I doing imagining gay dudes with Jon Hamm?
 
2013-03-27 04:36:08 PM
Bullsh*t. If he really wished that he wouldn't have said anything about it

He wants people to BELIEVE he doesn't want them talking about what he calls "Admiral Hamm-hock", but he really likes it.
 
2013-03-27 04:37:50 PM
Hollywood Babble On. Liam Neeson's C@#k is so huge.......

How huge is it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VfzX2XSgQas  (Very NSFW audio)
 
2013-03-27 04:39:01 PM
When discussing how Jon Hamm was asked to wear underwear on the set of Mad Men to hide his penis, Howard Stern said America's Got Talent asked him to stuff socks in his pants so it would look like he had a penis.
 
2013-03-27 04:40:13 PM

Bathysphere: On a serious note, he kinda sounds like a whiner. He's a funny guy, so maybe he's just pretending to be ruffled. If I had a tumblr account for my lady parts, I'd visit it every day and laugh.


I'm pretty sure this could be arranged...
 
2013-03-27 04:41:11 PM

loki see loki do: Yeah, he looks like a big dick.
Wait, you mean he has big dick.
Pfft, that's not a dick.
This is a Dick.

Why, my dick is so big, it has it's own agent.
Have your dick's people call my dick's people.
We'll do lunch with my dick.


my dick, rumble in the jungle
your dick got touched by your uncle
 
2013-03-27 04:46:38 PM
my cock is so big it has it's own zipcode.

My dick is so fat the only thing fatter is yo momma.

my dicks so big you can suck it from a different room.
 
2013-03-27 04:48:40 PM

Bathysphere: On a serious note, he kinda sounds like a whiner. He's a funny guy, so maybe he's just pretending to be ruffled. If I had a tumblr account for my lady parts, I'd visit it every day and laugh.


He is pretending.  It's hard to be taken seriously as an actor if all they talk about is your dick, but he knows it's funny and he knows what he has.  He doesn't give a shiat that anyone is talking about it, but has to pretend to care.

And I would kill small animals and children for one night with him.
 
2013-03-27 04:50:43 PM
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-03-27 04:51:49 PM

thecpt: loki see loki do: Yeah, he looks like a big dick.
Wait, you mean he has big dick.
Pfft, that's not a dick.
This is a Dick.

Why, my dick is so big, it has it's own agent.
Have your dick's people call my dick's people.
We'll do lunch with my dick.

my dick, rumble in the jungle
your dick got touched by your uncle


My dick, locked in a cage, right
Your dick suffer from stage fright
 
2013-03-27 04:54:06 PM

thecpt: loki see loki do: Yeah, he looks like a big dick.
Wait, you mean he has big dick.
Pfft, that's not a dick.
This is a Dick.

Why, my dick is so big, it has it's own agent.
Have your dick's people call my dick's people.
We'll do lunch with my dick.

my dick, rumble in the jungle
your dick got touched by your uncle


My dick, VIP
Your dick, need ID
 
2013-03-27 04:55:23 PM

dallylamma: My dick, VIP
Your dick, need ID


My dick, no introduction
Yo dick don't even function

/dick like Jesus
 
2013-03-27 05:03:41 PM

Lee's_Austin: Jon Hamm's dick is so big he was cast as his own porn lookalike.


My dick is so big it only plays arenas.
 
2013-03-27 05:06:41 PM
Also, you need to think about this for a moment...

www.vh1.com
 
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