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(ARL Now)   Not news: Roommate draws a penis on you while you're passed out News: You wake up and beat him and then get arrested for assault Fark: You forget to wash off the penis and it shows up in your mugshot   (arlnow.com) divider line 143
    More: Amusing, 17th Street, James Watson, roommates, County Police  
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22098 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Mar 2013 at 8:50 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-27 01:00:01 AM  
If you rape my face with a marker when I'm passed out, you deserve a beating.
 
2013-03-27 01:12:03 AM  

bikerific: omeganuepsilon: As far as I've seen, it was the belligerent drunks that got gave the treatment.


Fixed.


Ammended for your anecdotal evidence, sure.  Fixed, not so much.

IMO, if you're going to drink to excess and pass out around people you don't know that well, you deserve some shaming. Just like your puppy when he pisses on your boots or shiats in the kitchen.  You don't beat the dog, you teach the dog.

So many tough guys in this thread, hope they don't have kids/pets.
 
2013-03-27 01:19:45 AM  

omeganuepsilon: IMO, if you're going to drink to excess and pass out around people you don't know that well, you deserve some shaming. Just like your puppy when he pisses on your boots or shiats in the kitchen. You don't beat the dog, you teach the dog.


Are you still talking about the guy who drunk himself to sleep in his own apartment, or...?
 
2013-03-27 01:29:18 AM  

Starry Heavens: omeganuepsilon: IMO, if you're going to drink to excess and pass out around people you don't know that well, you deserve some shaming. Just like your puppy when he pisses on your boots or shiats in the kitchen. You don't beat the dog, you teach the dog.

Are you still talking about the guy who drunk himself to sleep in his own apartment, or...?


Still?  Or... what?  WTF are you talking about?
_____________
Anyhow...
Point being, of the part you quoted, if you(collective "you") go to sleep and people draw on you, you obviously didn't know them that well, so you've got no room to complain.  Rule of thumb: Never sleep around people you cannot trust, and certainly don't drink enough to pass out in front of them.  Grow some personal responsibility.
 
2013-03-27 01:29:34 AM  
the headline says "roommate draws a penis" and for some reason, I was expecting this to be a swordfighting story
 
2013-03-27 01:41:53 AM  
Maybe he drew that penis himself. it looks backwards.
 
2013-03-27 01:59:19 AM  
if it just washed off, i doubt violence would have ensued.
funny is funny, unless it doesn't wash off.
even then, it is freaking funny
unless you are the one
with a dick on his face.

Theory Of Null: Maybe he drew that penis himself. it looks backwards.


rofl
 
2013-03-27 02:05:08 AM  

Kif_D: Um, yea subby, that's the downside of using a permanent marker on skin, it DOESN'T WASH OFF!  imo the roommate who did the drawing got exactly what he deserved.  Objection overruled.  Case dismissed.


Protip:  rubbing alcohol.

Or vodka.  Funny how the same stuff that got you into that situation can get you out.

/now, that time I was at a party and the first guy to pass out got things drawn on him by half the GIRLS at the party...using their NAIL POLISH...that was a helluva thing.
 
2013-03-27 02:05:39 AM  
lesson #17 (some say it should be top 5).

Don't do the crime if you don't like getting punched in the face.
 
2013-03-27 02:08:39 AM  
www.dailyhaha.com
 
2013-03-27 02:28:12 AM  

Popular Opinion: [www.dailyhaha.com image 420x296]


How you even sleep through that?  That's some super immovable lump of flesh right there.

Yeah, if you are passed out that hard outside of your bedroom or pre-arranged sleep location, you deserve it.  Some random guy's couch, taking up the sofa/floor of the day-room in the dorm, the front yard,(basically, in other people's way, a big pile of passed out douche-bag taking up other people's space). When the party is over, you GTFO.  If you will not or cannot, you will pay a price.

Hangovers aren't enough to teach people to not drink quite so much, or we'd all never drink again(yeah, fark that)

If it happens to you at your own house, then wow, you have poor taste in drinking buddies.  Get new friends, or stop trying.

Oddly enough, I bet not many would ever dare do this to women, unless the woman in question was a real super biatch.  I think that has to do with the likelihood that they would go to some higher authority and get that guy nailed to the wall, instead of "take it like a man" and not so much with the violence thing either.

/I still move that if your reaction to a bit of shame is violence, you're a psychopath.
 
2013-03-27 02:28:39 AM  

The Southern Dandy: If you rape my face with a marker when I'm passed out, you deserve a beating.


Fair enough, but if you don't wake the guy up before you beat his ass, you're a biatch and probably deserve more than a dick on your face.
 
2013-03-27 02:58:34 AM  

basemetal: duffblue: basemetal: As a jurist, I would not convict him. The roommate put himself in that situation.

/another reason I'll never serve jury duty

The point of doing your job as a citizen is helping to make sure justice is served. By not participating you are just enabling the cycle of injustice to continue.

It's not me that keeps me off jury duty, it's my honest answers and ability to think for myself that scares em off.


It sounds more like its your inability to apply the actual law and inclination to apply whatever personal whim takes your fancy that is the problem...
 
2013-03-27 03:13:29 AM  

basemetal: As a jurist, I would not convict him. The roommate put himself in that situation.

/another reason I'll never serve jury duty


Yes. The appropriate punishment for drawing on your friend's face while they are sleeping (in a situation where there is a track record of pranks) is to be beaten around the face until you are bleeding and your eye is swollen shut.

Guy with the face motif didn't even wake him up, just started punching him while he was asleep. Classy...

Thing about the law is that it applies regardless of your opinion, otherwise it doesn't work.

Did he commit the battery? Yes. Was it self defence? No.

Guilty...

At which point the judge takes into account extenuating circumstances during sentencing.

/at least in the UK. Not sure about US.
 
2013-03-27 03:19:43 AM  
Serious Q. How is it that all these sharpies are handy at drinking/party locations?
Premeditation?
Good grief, I can't find regular pens during the day, when I'm sober.
 
2013-03-27 03:28:50 AM  

divx88: Would've charged the dick drawerwith battery if that was his approach.


Funny, my wife just calls it the sock drawer...
 
2013-03-27 04:07:52 AM  

Tyrosine: Sharpie comes off with ethanol, which I'm sure they had plenty of.


Sure, but if it was just beer, there's likely not enough ethanol in it. Acetone works great if you got nail polish remover.
 
2013-03-27 05:13:12 AM  
i466.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-27 05:18:30 AM  

shotglasss: 99.998er: It could have been worse:

[yourtattoosucks.com image 549x703]

Holy sunnuva.....just wow. Her daddy must be so proud...


I thought that was a guy.

I just looked again, and saw what looks like the upper part of some pretty scary cleavage. Maybe.

Anyway ...

1. This guy needs mature roommates. Say, over the age of 14.
2. It is morally OK for the victim to react the way he did, as long as he stopped before he did permanent damage to the dumbass roommate's face.
3. What in the HELL is wrong with some guys? I don't know a single woman who would even dream up something so pathetically unfunny as drawing a dick on someone's face. Is this the same defective gene that makes guys laugh at the rage-fueled "humor" of the Three Stooges? 'Cause that shiat is just farking stupid as hell.
 
2013-03-27 05:25:52 AM  
basemetal:

It's not me that keeps me off jury duty, it's my honest answers and ability to think for myself that scares em off.

You refer to other people as "sheeple," don't you, Mr. Dangerously Independent Thinker?
 
2013-03-27 05:27:58 AM  
Assaulting and disfiguring, even temporarily, a person who is unconscious is actually a second degree felony.
Assaulting the asshole who did it to you is only a third degree felony.

Hope the judge charges the guy with the pen.
 
2013-03-27 05:33:43 AM  

ReapTheChaos: Putting shaving cream in someones hand and tickling their nose is a prank, drawing on a person with permanent marker is assault.


How are they different?
 
2013-03-27 05:42:32 AM  

MadAzza: shotglasss: 99.998er: It could have been worse:

[yourtattoosucks.com image 549x703]

Holy sunnuva.....just wow. Her daddy must be so proud...

I thought that was a guy.

I just looked again, and saw what looks like the upper part of some pretty scary cleavage. Maybe.

Anyway ...

1. This guy needs mature roommates. Say, over the age of 14.
2. It is morally OK for the victim to react the way he did, as long as he stopped before he did permanent damage to the dumbass roommate's face.
3. What in the HELL is wrong with some guys? I don't know a single woman who would even dream up something so pathetically unfunny as drawing a dick on someone's face. Is this the same defective gene that makes guys laugh at the rage-fueled "humor" of the Three Stooges? 'Cause that shiat is just farking stupid as hell.


8/10.  You had me until the Stooges line.
 
2013-03-27 05:42:59 AM  

Pert: basemetal: duffblue: basemetal: As a jurist, I would not convict him. The roommate put himself in that situation.

/another reason I'll never serve jury duty

The point of doing your job as a citizen is helping to make sure justice is served. By not participating you are just enabling the cycle of injustice to continue.

It's not me that keeps me off jury duty, it's my honest answers and ability to think for myself that scares em off.

It sounds more like its your inability to apply the actual law and inclination to apply whatever personal whim takes your fancy that is the problem...


Actually, he would be going with the law as jury nullification is completely legal.
 
2013-03-27 07:32:36 AM  
Wanker!!!
 
2013-03-27 07:32:36 AM  
A while back a friend of mine passed out at a party & they broke out the Sharpie. I saved him by just flaming his foot & not letting them put swastikas or peeners on his face. He liked the flame job so much he left it on there for as long as he could also. People were asking me if I did tattoos.
/not a tattoo artist
//but I played one at a party
 
2013-03-27 08:39:50 AM  
Malicious Wounding is the same charge Lorena Bobbitt got for cutting off her husbands dick.

I would claim that there is a distinct level of inequality with respect to crime and gender, but that's no longer true.

Men and women are treated equally now.
 
2013-03-27 08:55:43 AM  
If drawing a gun can get kids in school at trouble, then the roommate should be charged with sexual assault for his penis drawing.
 
2013-03-27 10:57:01 AM  

Summoner101: Bathia_Mapes: wambu: No jury in the world should convict him.

They should convict the roommate, however. Why was he not arrested as well?

Arrested for what? Playing a harmless prank on a drunk roommate?

Wouldn't it technically be battery as well?


Actually, it is battery.
 
2013-03-27 11:35:59 AM  

wambu: Summoner101: Bathia_Mapes: wambu: No jury in the world should convict him.

They should convict the roommate, however. Why was he not arrested as well?

Arrested for what? Playing a harmless prank on a drunk roommate?

Wouldn't it technically be battery as well?

Actually, it is battery.


Technically, on paper, yes, it qualifies.  It goes in front of a judge and tossed out.  "No harm, no foul.  Please don't waste the time of this court when you get a little ink on you.  Aside from that I'm going to ask you to attend AA.  People who drink themselves into a stupor like that may have a drinking problem."

Sure, sometimes it's too much, but really, a large number of cases would just be tossed.  You would have to prove damages of some sort, above and beyond being drunk would normally cause.  "I lost my job because of it".  No, it wasn't the ink, it was you showing up smelling like and acting like you partied till dawn.
 
2013-03-27 01:09:40 PM  

prjindigo: Assaulting and disfiguring, even temporarily, a person who is unconscious is actually a second degree felony.
Assaulting the asshole who did it to you is only a third degree felony.

Hope the judge charges the guy with the pen.


The guy that got beaten can positively identify his assailant. The drunk dick faced guy can't. It's probably too late to dust the sharpie for prints.
 
2013-03-27 03:12:46 PM  

More_Like_A_Stain: prjindigo: Assaulting and disfiguring, even temporarily, a person who is unconscious is actually a second degree felony.
Assaulting the asshole who did it to you is only a third degree felony.

Hope the judge charges the guy with the pen.

The guy that got beaten can positively identify his assailant. The drunk dick faced guy can't. It's probably too late to dust the sharpie for prints.


Makes you wonder if they've ever done handwriting analysis on someone's face.
 
2013-03-27 03:27:48 PM  
Of course, you have to compare like to like, so get the suspect in with the sharpie and have victim sit for the penis drawing. Have the forensics goons compare the new rendering to the photos of the old. That's the only way you'll know for sure.

If I were The Cop, I'd have said, "Well, you drew a dick on his face. What'd you expect, he'd be all happy and make you breakfast?"

that's what I'd say.
 
2013-03-27 09:31:24 PM  

basemetal: As a jurist, I would not convict him. The roommate put himself in that situation.

/another reason I'll never serve jury duty


You don't get a choice.

You get the summons, you go to voir dire, and are either selected or let go, based on you (under-oath) answers to a few simple questions.
 
2013-03-27 09:35:38 PM  

GWSuperfan: Kif_D: that's the downside of using a permanent marker on skin, it DOESN'T WASH OFF!

Vaseline lotion will take that right off.


The trick is, you wash the area of skin first with rubbing alcohol, so that the ink-solvent mixture of the Sharpie™ can deeply penetrate the outer layers of skin, and the pores, with no body oils in the way.  Do this, and they will need sandpaper to remove your "artwork."  (Result is the same for SuperGlue™ tricks, or so I'm told.)

/not that I would know about any specific cases or anything...
 
2013-03-27 09:41:01 PM  

TastyEloi: Why would a 31-year-old man even have roommates at all? By the time I was that age, even the idea of having a roommate gave me the heebee-jeebies, unless it was a girlfriend or a wife.


You obviously don't like in a major city.  It's common.
 
2013-03-27 09:47:42 PM  

omeganuepsilon: ...I drew on people, sure, just not on faces.  We'd pull down their socks and write vile things, and then pull their socks back on.   Those guys either learned their lesson and started to behave, or they never talked to us again.


Oh yes, we all take our knocks when we've gone out-of-bounds.

I filled up a roommate's room to a depth of three feet with foam packing peanuts.  Next morning, I found them all.  In my car, completely filled to the top.  Gained a little respect for him that day.  Perhaps he for me as well.  So, in the end, we ceased shenanigans, at least between the two of us.

/Pros learn to respect other pros
 
2013-03-27 09:48:09 PM  

SirHolo: basemetal: As a jurist, I would not convict him. The roommate put himself in that situation.

/another reason I'll never serve jury duty

You don't get a choice.

You get the summons, you go to voir dire, and are either selected or let go, based on you (under-oath) answers to a few simple questions.


Yeah, like I said........
 
2013-03-27 09:59:17 PM  

SirHolo: (Result is the same for SuperGlue™ tricks, or so I'm told.)


I can attest to this.
/halloween costumes
//honest

I wouldn't be above washing someone's hand or foot and gluing digits together though, if they were a big enough douche before they passed out.  I think that may be a good behavioral modification technique, not as blatantly obvious to others, but every bit as shameful.

A good soak in soapy water will go a long ways to removing it, or application of baby oil(or penetrating oil WD-40) to seep under the glue.(also good for removing the tacky glue from removed labels and price tags)

It would be a good one to observe when they wake up and try to figure out why all their fingers are bound side by side.  "Oh, something crusty..WTF did I do last night?"

Don't want it to be that bad?
Raw egg white that dries up resembles certain bodily fluids in the same state, maybe whip with just a couple drops of milk before hand to really get the perfect cloudy effect. Do not put on mouth/eyes obviously, but I'd imagine it could have a devastating effect on other strategic locations, really get that worry engine going strong.

Nothing like regret to cause some serious reform.
 
2013-03-27 10:08:49 PM  

SirHolo: omeganuepsilon: ...I drew on people, sure, just not on faces.  We'd pull down their socks and write vile things, and then pull their socks back on.   Those guys either learned their lesson and started to behave, or they never talked to us again.

Oh yes, we all take our knocks when we've gone out-of-bounds.

I filled up a roommate's room to a depth of three feet with foam packing peanuts.  Next morning, I found them all.  In my car, completely filled to the top.  Gained a little respect for him that day.  Perhaps he for me as well.  So, in the end, we ceased shenanigans, at least between the two of us.

/Pros learn to respect other pros


I'm a fan of lotion or vaseline on car doorhandles(no where it'd show so you don't damage the plastic however).  Wiper blades can get dangerous though.  I almost felt bad after that one.(it was a dewey morning).

I always wanted to do this one
Set up a ton of empty paper cups next to each other on his table/desk, staple them together, then add water to each.

Tinfoiling every thing could be fun as well, but is a lot of work.  you'd have to do every thing to really do it right, individual pencils, walls, chair+handles, etc.

Plastic wrap has several uses due to it's hard to see nature.

More:
Tuna can, poke holes in it, hide it.
(maybe drain or take precautions so it's not easy to spill..unless you particularly loathe him, then make it easy to spill once it is found).

A bit of jurry rigging and available rolls of paper towels are great for when people open a door in the dark.(easy clean up, no danger of injury.  I try not to scare people in person, that's how you get punched in the face in a moment of panic.

(rushing out some idea's battery on laptop is about dead).
 
2013-03-27 10:51:47 PM  

SirHolo: TastyEloi


SirHolo: TastyEloi: Why would a 31-year-old man even have roommates at all? By the time I was that age, even the idea of having a roommate gave me the heebee-jeebies, unless it was a girlfriend or a wife.

You obviously don't like in a major city.  It's common.


That's really depressing. I can't imagine being that age and having to live with a bunch of other guys. Especially guys who act like 17-year-olds.

Although I get the impression a lot of millennial's tend to mature a lot later than folks of earlier generations.
 
2013-03-27 11:34:49 PM  

TastyEloi: SirHolo: TastyEloi

SirHolo: TastyEloi: Why would a 31-year-old man even have roommates at all? By the time I was that age, even the idea of having a roommate gave me the heebee-jeebies, unless it was a girlfriend or a wife.

You obviously don't like in a major city.  It's common.

That's really depressing. I can't imagine being that age and having to live with a bunch of other guys. Especially guys who act like 17-year-olds.

Although I get the impression a lot of millennial's tend to mature a lot later than folks of earlier generations.


It's not a generational thing.  It's a localized phenomenon.  It's not about maturing, it's about how males will bring out the worst in other males.

When money or law drives you to have male roomates, it's the norm.  It's been that way for a very long time.  Dorms/military have always been full of jerk-offs.  I think now that all kids go to college(figurative), it makes it appear like it's a newer thing.

Some manage in that environment, but it's the rarer thing they were likely more mature when they entered the environment.  Exposure as such puts social learning in a state of stasis.

I actually find it entertaining, there's a theory that colleges are attempting to manufacture PC liberals, but are foiled in some of that because of their housing requirements is directly counter to their cause by limiting social growth by allowing boys to be boys

/when I say theory, I don't mean as in conspiracy
//It's happening, imo, but not as a concerted effort, just a matter of course
///successful teachers of adults in most places will tend to be liberal and push that view a bit

Conversely, it may benefit more conservatives to keep their troops that way.(military)
"play in your off time, and play hard, but when you come to work, be ready to give 120%"

/actually sort of interesting now that I think about it
 
2013-03-29 12:44:10 AM  
I wonder what the Venn diagram would look like comparing the "he didn't say 'no' when I asked him if I could draw on his passed out self" crowd with the "she didn't say 'no' when I asked her if I could touch her passed out body" crowd.
 
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