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(Popular Science)   Presenting the periodic table of booze   (popsci.com) divider line 58
    More: Cool, periodic table  
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11423 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Mar 2013 at 12:54 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-26 12:56:30 PM  
49 please
 
2013-03-26 12:57:44 PM  
I would love a Bloody Mary.
 
2013-03-26 12:58:39 PM  
Needs to be printed upside down on a shirt.
 
2013-03-26 12:59:01 PM  
Tested and approved by the "Best Colleges Online", because the real colleges were all too wasted.
 
2013-03-26 12:59:22 PM  
Make that two Bloodies, please.

Lots of hot sauce.
 
2013-03-26 01:01:28 PM  
That's some swell toothbrush!
 
2013-03-26 01:01:52 PM  
I love whisky.
 
2013-03-26 01:04:44 PM  
What kind of pussy makes a mint julep that's only 32% alcohol?
 
2013-03-26 01:04:57 PM  
Bourbon please, in a snifter would be appreciated.
 
2013-03-26 01:07:40 PM  
I have a message for college kids out there who are drinking like this.

It gets better.

Boozing doesn't have to involve trying to mask the flavor of booze. Eventually, your tastes will mature and you will learn to actually enjoy drink for drink. The sooner you can afford to start buying quality booze and stop mixing and matching like a middle aged mum on a hen's trip to Punta Cana, the sooner you ...

Oh, who am I kidding. You'll just have to wait and see.
 
2013-03-26 01:12:41 PM  
Consuming excessive quantities of alcohol isn't a terribly efficient way of evacuating your bowels into your shorts but remains the preferred method of most adult Americans.
It is far cheaper just to drink a small glass of ditch water, which also doesn't make you look like an obese ladyboy propping up the bar all night, scared to go home because you desperately promised yourself some fun tonight.

Sober Farkers & Acid Burnouts Union Rep - YoOjo
 
2013-03-26 01:13:41 PM  

Cluckity: I have a message for college kids out there who are drinking like this.

It gets better.

Boozing doesn't have to involve trying to mask the flavor of booze. Eventually, your tastes will mature and you will learn to actually enjoy drink for drink. The sooner you can afford to start buying quality booze and stop mixing and matching like a middle aged mum on a hen's trip to Punta Cana, the sooner you ...

Oh, who am I kidding. You'll just have to wait and see.


It doesn't matter. When all someone wants to do is get drunk (confidence) flavor is non essential.
 
2013-03-26 01:14:23 PM  
I have this poster from college stashed somewhere in my garage.
 
2013-03-26 01:15:08 PM  
The the "periodic" table is periodic because of the way electron orbitals fill up in atoms -- it gives them properties that appear to repeat in a pattern as atomic number increases.  Very few other sets of items (drinks, for example) really share this characteristic, so there's nothing "periodic" about it.  Its just a table of booze.

/ curmudgeon-like typing detected, I know
 
2013-03-26 01:15:10 PM  

Odd Bird: Bourbon please, in a snifter would be appreciated.


Yes please.  Barring that, a coffee cup will do.
 
2013-03-26 01:15:12 PM  
thumbnails.visually.netdna-cdn.com

82.  Shiat on grass??
 
2013-03-26 01:16:38 PM  
should have spent more time drinking than making silly graphics
 
2013-03-26 01:18:00 PM  

kwame: What kind of pussy makes a mint julep that's only 32% alcohol?


Also, how do you get to 25% on a dirty Martini? The main ingredient is 40% ABV, and the primary mixer is ~18%. You'd need to be using far too much vermouth and olive juice.
 
2013-03-26 01:18:11 PM  

Cluckity: I have a message for college kids out there who are drinking like this.

It gets better.

Boozing doesn't have to involve trying to mask the flavor of booze. Eventually, your tastes will mature and you will learn to actually enjoy drink for drink. The sooner you can afford to start buying quality booze and stop mixing and matching like a middle aged mum on a hen's trip to Punta Cana, the sooner you ...

Oh, who am I kidding. You'll just have to wait and see.


This.

/ this.
 
2013-03-26 01:20:03 PM  
I have an issue with the way that the table is arranged.  The drinks on the far left (sitting in the alkali group) should be highly reactive (read:mixable) and rarely found alone.  Ciders are neither.  Additionally, the far right side of the table, where the noble gasses usually sit should have liquor that are rarely (if ever) mixed : Single Malt Scotch, Aquavit, etc.

The first period (row) should consist of the most basic drinks : Vodka on the far left and 2 buck chuck (Charles Shaw) on the far right.  The second period should consist of the most abundant liquors (tequila, dark rum, light rum, whiskey, gin, vermouth) sitting where carbon, oxygen, nitrogen generally sit.

Additionally, the Periodic table of Elements is universal.  I see a lot of douche frat-boy type short poured cocktails, but I don't see drinks that are more common outside of the dive bars they tend to frequent.

Elements were arranged in the periodic table because they share characteristics common characteristics   Going down a line increases the number of electron clouds, moving to the right increases the fulfillment of electron clouds.    Some random graphic artist separating drinks by their base mix might serve to sell some shiatty tee-shirts or posters but there is nothing periodic about it.
 
2013-03-26 01:24:41 PM  

ceebeecates4: I have an issue with the way that the table is arranged.  The drinks on the far left (sitting in the alkali group) should be highly reactive (read:mixable) and rarely found alone.  Ciders are neither.  Additionally, the far right side of the table, where the noble gasses usually sit should have liquor that are rarely (if ever) mixed : Single Malt Scotch, Aquavit, etc.

The first period (row) should consist of the most basic drinks : Vodka on the far left and 2 buck chuck (Charles Shaw) on the far right.  The second period should consist of the most abundant liquors (tequila, dark rum, light rum, whiskey, gin, vermouth) sitting where carbon, oxygen, nitrogen generally sit.


By any chance, do you have a newsletter to which I may subscribe? You put my thoughts into words more eloquently than I ever could.

//Or, colloquially, "this".
 
2013-03-26 01:28:39 PM  
Harvey Wallbangers do not have whiskey in them, and that mistake on the chart is making me disproportionately angry.
 
2013-03-26 01:29:31 PM  

ceebeecates4: I have an issue with the way that the table is arranged ... there is nothing periodic about it.


I like the way you think/drink.
 
2013-03-26 01:32:13 PM  
They should do one with just the alcohol, not mixed. Vodak where hydrogen would go, beer where helium is, on down into your lesser known liquers (or some such).
 
2013-03-26 01:33:06 PM  
ramascreen.com
JAGERBOMB!

 
2013-03-26 01:33:37 PM  

blatz514: [thumbnails.visually.netdna-cdn.com image 850x649]

82.  Shiat on grass??


yeah I know.

Glad to see #74 on there.  SO MANY BARTENDERS would look at me funny whenever I asked for that.

/it's a goddamn Long Island Iced Tea with chambord, fer chrissakes!
 
2013-03-26 01:35:17 PM  

AverageAmericanGuy: [ramascreen.com image 480x360]
JAGERBOMB!



SKANKS!!
 
2013-03-26 01:35:47 PM  
I was hoping this table would help me determine which alcohols would mix best with each other, or specific gravity, or really just anything useful. This is just a frat-boy t-shirt.
 
2013-03-26 01:37:18 PM  

ceebeecates4: I have an issue with the way that the table is arranged.  The drinks on the far left (sitting in the alkali group) should be highly reactive (read:mixable) and rarely found alone.  Ciders are neither.  Additionally, the far right side of the table, where the noble gasses usually sit should have liquor that are rarely (if ever) mixed : Single Malt Scotch, Aquavit, etc.

The first period (row) should consist of the most basic drinks : Vodka on the far left and 2 buck chuck (Charles Shaw) on the far right.  The second period should consist of the most abundant liquors (tequila, dark rum, light rum, whiskey, gin, vermouth) sitting where carbon, oxygen, nitrogen generally sit.

Additionally, the Periodic table of Elements is universal.  I see a lot of douche frat-boy type short poured cocktails, but I don't see drinks that are more common outside of the dive bars they tend to frequent.

Elements were arranged in the periodic table because they share characteristics common characteristics   Going down a line increases the number of electron clouds, moving to the right increases the fulfillment of electron clouds.    Some random graphic artist separating drinks by their base mix might serve to sell some shiatty tee-shirts or posters but there is nothing periodic about it.


Impulse to snark but this is too well written and thought out....nicely done.
 
2013-03-26 01:38:04 PM  
Sh*t on grass: 1/2 shot Midori melon liqueur, 1/2 shot Kahlua coffee liqueur.
Also describes my daughter's current boyfriend.
 
2013-03-26 01:38:27 PM  

ceebeecates4: I have an issue with the way that the table is arranged.  The drinks on the far left (sitting in the alkali group) should be highly reactive (read:mixable) and rarely found alone.  Ciders are neither.  Additionally, the far right side of the table, where the noble gasses usually sit should have liquor that are rarely (if ever) mixed : Single Malt Scotch, Aquavit, etc.

The first period (row) should consist of the most basic drinks : Vodka on the far left and 2 buck chuck (Charles Shaw) on the far right.  The second period should consist of the most abundant liquors (tequila, dark rum, light rum, whiskey, gin, vermouth) sitting where carbon, oxygen, nitrogen generally sit.

Additionally, the Periodic table of Elements is universal.  I see a lot of douche frat-boy type short poured cocktails, but I don't see drinks that are more common outside of the dive bars they tend to frequent.

Elements were arranged in the periodic table because they share characteristics common characteristics   Going down a line increases the number of electron clouds, moving to the right increases the fulfillment of electron clouds.    Some random graphic artist separating drinks by their base mix might serve to sell some shiatty tee-shirts or posters but there is nothing periodic about it.


I love everything about what you just said.

Question for you, shouldn't a periodic table start with base alcohols and then evolve into mixed drinks, sort of like adding ?  Like, shouldn't the top row be just Vodka, Whiskey, Rum, etc.  Then you would move on to the different types of alcohol within a family like Whiskey would evolve into Scotch, Rye, Bourbon. Then from there it would get into mixed drinks, like adding mixes is adding electrons to the base element.

Anyway, that's my question and I'm willing to taste my way through the whole table until I get answers.
 
2013-03-26 01:38:40 PM  
Periodic table fails without Kamikaze in the vodak area.
 
2013-03-26 01:39:26 PM  
catmacros.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-03-26 01:41:56 PM  

Archimedes' Principal: Periodic table fails without Kamikaze in the vodak area.


Whisky fail too.  No old fashioned

www.esquire.com
 
2013-03-26 01:43:32 PM  

blatz514: [thumbnails.visually.netdna-cdn.com image 850x649]

82.  Shiat on grass??


Yep, Sh*t on grass and it's "relative": Sh*t on the grass.
 
2013-03-26 01:50:22 PM  
How the hell do they come up with Citrus flavor for a Jagerbomb?
 
2013-03-26 01:51:07 PM  
Mixed drinks are like molecules.
Booze is like elements.
Chart is lame.
 
2013-03-26 01:54:41 PM  

varmitydog: Sh*t on grass: 1/2 shot Midori melon liqueur, 1/2 shot Kahlua coffee liqueur.
Also describes my daughter's current boyfriend.


a stoner with a boner?
 
2013-03-26 02:00:48 PM  
I just realized how lazy I've become.  I don't mix anything anymore, just straight beer, whiskey or Rumple Minz.
 
2013-03-26 02:14:51 PM  
82 drinks and they left out the martini? No, not a dirty martini or an appletini, just an honest gin-and-vermouth martini.
 
2013-03-26 02:21:51 PM  

ceebeecates4: I have an issue with the way that the table is arranged.  The drinks on the far left (sitting in the alkali group) should be highly reactive (read:mixable) and rarely found alone.  Ciders are neither.  Additionally, the far right side of the table, where the noble gasses usually sit should have liquor that are rarely (if ever) mixed : Single Malt Scotch, Aquavit, etc.

The first period (row) should consist of the most basic drinks : Vodka on the far left and 2 buck chuck (Charles Shaw) on the far right.  The second period should consist of the most abundant liquors (tequila, dark rum, light rum, whiskey, gin, vermouth) sitting where carbon, oxygen, nitrogen generally sit.

Additionally, the Periodic table of Elements is universal.  I see a lot of douche frat-boy type short poured cocktails, but I don't see drinks that are more common outside of the dive bars they tend to frequent.

Elements were arranged in the periodic table because they share characteristics common characteristics   Going down a line increases the number of electron clouds, moving to the right increases the fulfillment of electron clouds.    Some random graphic artist separating drinks by their base mix might serve to sell some shiatty tee-shirts or posters but there is nothing periodic about it.


you must be fun at parties
 
2013-03-26 02:24:16 PM  
Man, Popular Science has really given up on the science and taken a desperate swing at the popular hasn't it?
 
2013-03-26 02:25:21 PM  
33, wtf? A harvey wallbanger isnt made with whiskey.
 
2013-03-26 02:50:05 PM  

Cyno01: 33, wtf? A harvey wallbanger isnt made with whiskey.


They should replace it with the Old Fashioned.
 
2013-03-26 02:56:11 PM  

dennerman: Cyno01: 33, wtf? A harvey wallbanger isnt made with whiskey.

They should replace it with the Old Fashioned.


Well, around here, an Old Fashioned isnt made with whiskey either, but thats strictly a regional thing.
 
2013-03-26 03:10:55 PM  

chitownmike: ceebeecates4: I have an issue with the way that the table is arranged.  The drinks on the far left (sitting in the alkali group) should be highly reactive (read:mixable) and rarely found alone.  Ciders are neither.  Additionally, the far right side of the table, where the noble gasses usually sit should have liquor that are rarely (if ever) mixed : Single Malt Scotch, Aquavit, etc.

The first period (row) should consist of the most basic drinks : Vodka on the far left and 2 buck chuck (Charles Shaw) on the far right.  The second period should consist of the most abundant liquors (tequila, dark rum, light rum, whiskey, gin, vermouth) sitting where carbon, oxygen, nitrogen generally sit.

Additionally, the Periodic table of Elements is universal.  I see a lot of douche frat-boy type short poured cocktails, but I don't see drinks that are more common outside of the dive bars they tend to frequent.

Elements were arranged in the periodic table because they share characteristics common characteristics   Going down a line increases the number of electron clouds, moving to the right increases the fulfillment of electron clouds.    Some random graphic artist separating drinks by their base mix might serve to sell some shiatty tee-shirts or posters but there is nothing periodic about it.

you must be fun at parties


He's totally right though, when the hell do you drink Gin straight and not be a wasteful idiot? It's gotta go with something.
 
2013-03-26 03:11:12 PM  

kwame: What kind of pussy makes a mint julep that's only 32% alcohol?


The kind who makes a whiskey sour with half a f*cking glass of sour, I'm guessing.
 
2013-03-26 03:13:40 PM  

jshine: The the "periodic" table is periodic because of the way electron orbitals fill up in atoms -- it gives them properties that appear to repeat in a pattern as atomic number increases.  Very few other sets of items (drinks, for example) really share this characteristic, so there's nothing "periodic" about it.  Its just a table of booze.


Wow, you sound annoyed.  Can I buy you a drink?
 
2013-03-26 03:14:04 PM  

Hoopy Frood: 82 drinks and they left out the martini? No, not a dirty martini or an appletini, just an honest gin-and-vermouth martini.


Maybe they weren't aware that still exists, because like hell if I ever see it being ordered anywhere around here.

//Sometimes orders one
//They always put an olive in it even when I explicitly request them not to
 
2013-03-26 03:19:56 PM  

ten foiled hats: kwame: What kind of pussy makes a mint julep that's only 32% alcohol?

The kind who makes a whiskey sour with half a f*cking glass of sour, I'm guessing.


If you count the ice? Straight bourbon is only 40-45% so...

And sours are traditionally made 1:1. If you want less than that, you just want a whiskey with a twist or something.


Obbi: He's totally right though, when the hell do you drink Gin straight and not be a wasteful idiot? It's gotta go with something.


Not if its really farking good gin.
 
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