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(Some Guy)   This is the thread where you defend what you believe in and call everyone else's believes bollocks. Now with a Venn diagram for easy navigation   (crispian-jago.blogspot.co.uk) divider line 520
    More: Cool, Venn diagram, critical thinking  
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16607 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Mar 2013 at 3:55 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-26 07:22:05 PM  

Earguy: Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.

[pauses then winks and walks away]


Substitute bourbon for scotch and you've got my vote.
 
2013-03-26 07:24:01 PM  

ariseatex:

I believe in life after love.
... and autotune.
 
2013-03-26 07:25:00 PM  
DesertDemonWY:
i1057.photobucket.com

Have at you!

 www.atheistmemebase.com
i63.photobucket.com
/Set vs charge.
 
2013-03-26 07:25:56 PM  

Somacandra: The funny thing is that people involved in these really won't care that anyone else thinks its bollocks. For instance, I don't care what your "evaluation" of acupuncture and chiropractic are, I've had enough experience with both to know that they've really worked well for me in handling certain issues than before I had experience with them. As a practical guy, that's all the evidence I really want or need. YMMV.


Never had acupuncture, but I will swear by Chiropractic. 25 years of regular headaches, at least once or twice a week. The Chiropractor I went to charged me $25 per session for 4 sessions and systematically adjusted my spine, starting at the neck. Hurt like hell. If the guy had been a serial killer he would have easily twisted my head off. His muscles had muscles. After the 2nd session I was walking slightly lopsided, with one leg 1/2 inch longer than the other. This went away after the 4th session. This was 8 years ago. I've never had those type of headaches since.
 
2013-03-26 07:27:56 PM  

onyxruby:

Boobies are good, boobies are healing, boobies sooth the soul and ease the mind. Boobies are like sports cars, meant to roam free and not be confined in cages where they are unhappy. Free the boobies!

www.supertopo.com
 
2013-03-26 07:31:06 PM  
SquiggsIN:If you think you have ghosts or bigfoot or deja vu, rest assured it's just a glitch in the matrix of your brain.  We aren't perfect and we shouldn't expect our brains to be bug-less.  We're still in the beta testing era, as a species.

And it sucks that having a 'glitch' causes an anxiety attack.

/in my case, deja vu
 
2013-03-26 07:33:32 PM  
I cannot believe crystals are lumped in there. Crystals of sodium chloride dissolved in water are very effective in staving off the effects of hyponatremia. The crystals of di-hydrogen monoxide, applied directly to injured tissue constrict blood vessels and ease pain. Finally, the isometric-hexoctahedral crystals of carbon are world renowned for their ability to relieve the pain of epididymal hypertension. Paradoxically, the relief is secured by the "gifting" of the crystal to another individual.
 
2013-03-26 07:36:19 PM  
www.smidgeindustriesltd.com
 
2013-03-26 07:39:16 PM  
I believe Natives/Indians/Aboriginals/Assiniboine, whatever we call ourselves, have the right to hunt and fish where the fark we used to. I also believe that the Government "giving" us land and rights on those lands, is B-S. Our rights were demolished in the conquering of our Peoples. Now that everyone has evolved sensibilities, we deserve to exercise those farking lost rights. We demand to become the migratory, husk-gripping, air-speed velocity... er wait... what was I saying? Fark it, go 49'ers!

/African Swallows?
//irony :-p
 
2013-03-26 07:42:22 PM  
"everyone else's believes..."

"everyone else's believes..."

"everyone else's believes..."

"everyone else's believes..."

"everyone else's believes..."


"BELIEVES..."



2.bp.blogspot.com

American education detected.
 
2013-03-26 07:46:51 PM  

WippitGuud: SquiggsIN:If you think you have ghosts or bigfoot or deja vu, rest assured it's just a glitch in the matrix of your brain.  We aren't perfect and we shouldn't expect our brains to be bug-less.  We're still in the beta testing era, as a species.

And it sucks that having a 'glitch' causes an anxiety attack.

/in my case, deja vu


I experience Deja Woo all the time. It's kung fuey-rific!
 
2013-03-26 07:48:26 PM  

MaxxLarge:

GeneralJim: MaxxLarge: No gods have ever been real, or will ever be real... Period.

And you would prove that statement....  How, exactly?

I don't need to. It's BEEN proven via history, biology, astronomy, physics, and a hundred other disciplines. It's been proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that gods are just as much fairy tales as Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. However, that doesn't necessarily mean that superstitious people with an emotional need to cling to their imaginary friends will be predisposed to understand or accept it...But that's their problem, not mine.

I've read a lot of science papers...  and I've never yet seen a proof that God does not exist.  I imagine such would get rather wide publicity, should it exist.  In other words, I think YOU are as "victimized" by superstition as any of the theists you deride.  If you want to redeem a stupid, oversimplified statement, just point to a paper that disproves the existence of God.  Any one of the no-doubt-thousands will do.
 
2013-03-26 07:51:41 PM  
m.cdn.blog.hu

I firmly believe in smashing two bricks together
 
2013-03-26 07:54:22 PM  

TinyFist: Bollocks is a fun word.


It's the dog's bollocks in fact.
 
2013-03-26 07:59:38 PM  

SultanofSchwing: I hate Blacks, Mexicans and Chinese people!


and bigots. don't forget the bigots.
 
2013-03-26 08:06:22 PM  

miscreant: Uncle Pim: Karma is on that chart? Karma just means cause and effect. There's nothing particularly mystical about it, despite what I read on Facebook.

Most people who use it, use it in the form of "If you do something good/bad, the universe will do something good/bad to or for you in turn", which is outside of cause and effect, and is bullshiat. Lots of people who do evil shiat live very pampered lives, and lots of good people live very harsh destitute lives.


Uhm. Yes and No. The basic premise is that kharma is a universal moral law in the same sense that gravity is a universal physical law. The good or bad, right or wrong things you do in this life shape your dharma for the next life. By fulfilling your dharma, you reach a higher plane of existence; resistance to your dharma means that not only will this life suck but the next one as well.

Provable? Not hardly. Testable? Not hardly.

Either way, karma is not a "be bad today, get kicked in the nuts tomorrow" kind of deal.
 
2013-03-26 08:09:23 PM  
I BELIEEEEEVE... that women I know and like who wear bikinis to the beach should not be afraid when I stumble into their room when they are only in their lingerie!
 
2013-03-26 08:10:58 PM  
I believe in absolutely NOTHING listed on that diagram.
 
2013-03-26 08:18:01 PM  
well, damn. I believe in none of that.
 
2013-03-26 08:34:14 PM  

meat0918:

I do however take offense to the idea that someone couldn't have figured out how to imprint that on a shroud as a hoax back in the day (like the 1200-1400 AD range). Religious relics declared false by the heads of the particular religion in question are quite common, and outnumber those declared "true".

There are a couple of problems with that hypothesis, as related in a Fark thread a while back.  The image on the shroud is formed by heat, and only appears on the OUTSIDE of the threads being blackened.  Using a piece of hot iron, for example, to "paint" the image, would char threads all the way through.  Additionally, with computer processing, the image on the shroud forms a 3-D image of a man.  When the image was examined in the 1960s, the computers of the time (or the software, more precisely) were unable to make an image that would "pop" in 3-D like the Shroud's image does.

Yes, there were a metric buttload of false relics from medieval times.  None of the forgers, to my knowledge, ever impregnated a cloth with first-century middle-eastern pollen, made a compressed 3-D image, or etched the false relic with a high-frequency laser.  Archaeology is not my field, however, so I may have missed the 14th century version of Pixar...

 
2013-03-26 08:34:48 PM  

Fecal Conservative: Q&D
[i45.tinypic.com image 600x397]


Dooshbaggery on the right is wrong!
 
2013-03-26 08:35:48 PM  
I believe that the Lord, God, created the universe.
I believe that He sent His only Son to die for my sins.
And I believe that ancient Jews built boats and sailed to America
I am a Mormon,
And a Mormon just believes.

I believe that God has a plan for all of us.
 I believe that plan involves me getting my own planet.
And I believe; that the current President of The Church, Thomas Monson, speaks directly to God.
I am A Mormon,
And, dang it! a Mormon just believes!

I believe that Satan has a hold of you
 I believe that the Lord, God, has sent me here
And I believe that in 1978, God changed his mind about black people!
You can be a Mormon..
A Mormon who just believes!

I believe that God lives on a planet called Kolob.
 I believe that Jesus has his own planet as well.
And I believe that the Garden of Eden was in Jackson County, Missouri.
If you believe, the Lord will reveal it.
 
2013-03-26 08:37:28 PM  
I believe submitter has a tenuous grasp of the english language and probably didn't make it past 6th grade
 
2013-03-26 08:40:45 PM  

Rindred:

I see a lamp, sitting on a table, casting a faint light around it.

Yes, very good call.  Apparently the NAZIs were not the first to make lamps out of Jews...



www.spidersweb.pl
 
2013-03-26 08:52:26 PM  

dopirt:

I cannot believe crystals are lumped in there. Crystals of sodium chloride dissolved in water are very effective in staving off the effects of hyponatremia. The crystals of di-hydrogen monoxide, applied directly to injured tissue constrict blood vessels and ease pain. Finally, the isometric-hexoctahedral crystals of carbon are world renowned for their ability to relieve the pain of epididymal hypertension. Paradoxically, the relief is secured by the "gifting" of the crystal to another individual.

BRILLIANT!   A diamond in the rough, as it were.
 
2013-03-26 08:53:07 PM  

GeneralJim: meat0918: I do however take offense to the idea that someone couldn't have figured out how to imprint that on a shroud as a hoax back in the day (like the 1200-1400 AD range). Religious relics declared false by the heads of the particular religion in question are quite common, and outnumber those declared "true".
There are a couple of problems with that hypothesis, as related in a Fark thread a while back.  The image on the shroud is formed by heat, and only appears on the OUTSIDE of the threads being blackened.  Using a piece of hot iron, for example, to "paint" the image, would char threads all the way through.  Additionally, with computer processing, the image on the shroud forms a 3-D image of a man.  When the image was examined in the 1960s, the computers of the time (or the software, more precisely) were unable to make an image that would "pop" in 3-D like the Shroud's image does.
Yes, there were a metric buttload of false relics from medieval times.  None of the forgers, to my knowledge, ever impregnated a cloth with first-century middle-eastern pollen, made a compressed 3-D image, or etched the false relic with a high-frequency laser.  Archaeology is not my field, however, so I may have missed the 14th century version of Pixar...


All of that means exactly dick. So you tell us, what do you believe? That the face of Jesus Christ the son of God is imprinted on a shroud passed down through the generations to make fools of the nonbelievers?

Or is it just another in a long list of things we can't explain so it must be God...or aliens...or Zeus? Until we can explain it and realize how stupid we were for thinking it was aliens or God.

I believe it is a rag with markings on it. That's my conclusion based on looking at it. Any significance beyond that is personal bias.
 
2013-03-26 08:54:07 PM  
Just picture it: a world full of nutcases. On the streets, you'll see people flapping their arms and shouting they're airplanes. In the president's office, a moron will say: `I wonder what this button does' - and promptly start a nuclear war. Others will kill themselves, jumping from buildings to prove they can fly, shooting each other up for fun, or stepping in front of trains because they think they're Superman. Admit it. It would be a rather odd way of going out.


But actually, the nutcase scenario is not that idiotic. It got high marks on a dead-serious ranking of what can go wrong with the world, published once by the popular science magazine Discover. Indeed, there's some quite serious evidence we're heading for total insanity. We're a more mentally deranged species than ever. And we're going crazier all the time, the figures show. Depression, anxiety, eating disorders - they're all on the rise.
 
2013-03-26 08:57:31 PM  
I notice the diagram doesn't content any 'scientific bollocks'.

Why is that?

Is science SOOOOOOOO perfect that there isn't any scientific bullshiate out there?

How about 'global warming' to start?
Or cloning a mammoth?
Or saying that blondes are gonna die out?
Or studying why lesbians drink?
 
2013-03-26 08:58:51 PM  

hinten: Fark, where everyone biatches about bad grammar but nobody can state what is actually wrong.


Copypasta'd for you. Remember those pictures as a kid where the two frames would look the same but weren't and the question was, "What's wrong with this picture?" Well... go for it.


/"This is the thread where everyone defends their beliefs while calling everyone else's beliefs bollocks." would be proper written American English grammar for the first sentence.
//Faster to correct the sentence structure than to explain the problems with it.
///Fark, where fixing it is faster and we'd rather do that and get back to our beer.
 
2013-03-26 09:00:17 PM  
Oh God dammit. Apparently, you can't copypasta the damn headline. Go read it for yourself by scrolling up. Damn you, Drew!
 
2013-03-26 09:03:52 PM  
If you believe something and can't explain why, then you're a moron.
 
2013-03-26 09:06:50 PM  

pippi longstocking: If you believe something and can't explain why, then you're a moron.


farking magnets. How do they work?
 
2013-03-26 09:09:19 PM  

SquiggsIN:

GeneralJim: MaxxLarge: GeneralJim: MaxxLarge: No gods have ever been real, or will ever be real... Period.

And you would prove that statement....  How, exactly?

I don't need to. It's BEEN proven via history, biology, astronomy, physics, and a hundred other disciplines. It's been proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that gods are just as much fairy tales as Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. However, that doesn't necessarily mean that superstitious people with an emotional need to cling to their imaginary friends will be predisposed to understand or accept it...But that's their problem, not mine.

I've read a lot of science papers...  and I've never yet seen a proof that God does not exist.  I imagine such would get rather wide publicity, should it exist.  In other words, I think YOU are as "victimized" by superstition as any of the theists you deride.  If you want to redeem a stupid, oversimplified statement, just point to a paper that disproves the existence of God.  Any one of the no-doubt-thousands will do.

I consider myself an antitheistic agnostic.  (not atheist)  My biggest problem is the vast arrogance spouted by both sides of the aisle on this, religious and atheist alike.  Insisting that your viewpoint is the correct one with no evidence is just silly and you see it every day.  I'm okay with not knowing and I wish the rest of you would stop insisting that you know something that you cannot possibly know for certain.

All things considered, if a deity were responsible for us, you'd think being omnipotent/omniscient/etc would've let to a better product.

Yes, a better product. One that might, perchance be able to state the past participle of the verb "to lead." But, you are assuming that, if there were a God, you would be able to read his mind, and know his intentions. I would say that is a tenuous position at best. As just one of a myriad of possible examples, what if the purpose of human beings is to provide as "low" a vehicle as God could possibly "ride," so that he could come along with us in order to gain the experience BECOMING perfect -- something he lacks, having always BEEN perfect. In that case, crappy prototypes such as ourselves would be just PERFECT for the intended function.

So, if I understand THIS blather in relation to the previous blather, you claim you were trolling before, being a douchebag to protest all the OTHER douchebags who overstate the certainty of their cases? If so, I'm not certain it was effective.
 
2013-03-26 09:15:03 PM  
I believe I can fly.

I believe I can touch the sky.
 
2013-03-26 09:16:04 PM  
How can God exist? Nobody can even define it.
 
2013-03-26 09:19:57 PM  
js34603:
So you tell us, what do you believe? That the face of Jesus Christ the son of God is imprinted on a shroud passed down through the generations to make fools of the nonbelievers?
I tend to believe that the Shroud of Turin is the burial cloth of Joshua bar Joseph.  It is not important to me whether it is, or is not that same cloth. However, I am certain that the point is not to make fools of anyone.  Relics are a useless business, at best.  If they are genuine, they lead to believers following a process of fetishization which will take away from anything spiritual which is "real" to them.  And, if the relic is a fake, as almost all of them are, it does the same, with the added problem that if the relic is proven fake at a later date, believers tend to throw the baby out with the bathwater.
 
2013-03-26 09:21:04 PM  

whatshisname: How can God exist? Nobody can even define it.


The mackerel snappers have a perfectly cromulent definition, honed by centuries of rigourous thought:

The Nature of God

Proof of the Existence of God

well worth the read, if i do say so myself. It's not like nobody ever thought about this before, you know. Its sort of central to Western civilization and stuff.
 
2013-03-26 09:27:23 PM  

willfullyobscure: whatshisname: How can God exist? Nobody can even define it.

The mackerel snappers have a perfectly cromulent definition, honed by centuries of rigourous thought:

The Nature of God

Proof of the Existence of God

well worth the read, if i do say so myself. It's not like nobody ever thought about this before, you know. Its sort of central to Western civilization and stuff.


Those aren't definitions. They're vague descriptions. You might even say they are willfully obscure.
 
2013-03-26 09:29:45 PM  

SquiggsIN:

whatever helps you get your sheep brain to sleep at night pal.
You were making the argument that God does not exist because people are hugely imperfect.  I countered that argument with a scenario in which the imperfection of people was the GOAL of their creation.  I'd say that counters your "proof" adequately, plummeting or no plummeting.
 
2013-03-26 09:30:36 PM  

whatshisname: How can God exist? Nobody can even define it.


i21.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-26 09:31:20 PM  

Caffandtranqs: I don't have a problem with people having beliefs as long as they are not harming anyone or attempting to shove it down anyone's throat, and that goes for atheists as well.  I'm in the "I don't know, and having the arrogance to assume I know the truth is unwise) camp.  When my mother prays to St. Jude for my hopeless soul, I just say "thank you."  I don't get upset about it.  Aome atheists will get downright pissed about that kind of stuff.  It's weird.  They get evangelical in their atheism, they feel the need to educate everyone about the lack of science in their beliefs; and frankly, I start viewing them like the fundies when they start that.


Where most people go wrong is in assuming there is only one truth.

/Which just happens to be what they believe.
 
2013-03-26 09:37:51 PM  

whatshisname: willfullyobscure: whatshisname: How can God exist? Nobody can even define it.

The mackerel snappers have a perfectly cromulent definition, honed by centuries of rigourous thought:

The Nature of God

Proof of the Existence of God

well worth the read, if i do say so myself. It's not like nobody ever thought about this before, you know. Its sort of central to Western civilization and stuff.

Those aren't definitions. They're vague descriptions. You might even say they are willfully obscure.


You're arguing with the Catholic Church over God

www.myfacewhen.net
 
kab
2013-03-26 09:40:42 PM  
Perfect chart.

After all, we're humans, and we have science.
 
2013-03-26 09:41:15 PM  

willfullyobscure: You're arguing with the Catholic Church over God


Yeah, I forgot, they have a direct line to him...
 
2013-03-26 09:43:41 PM  

GeneralJim: onyxruby: Boobies are good, boobies are healing, boobies sooth the soul and ease the mind. Boobies are like sports cars, meant to roam free and not be confined in cages where they are unhappy. Free the boobies!
[www.supertopo.com image 600x456]


Well, they are free boobies, so I can't argue with your picture.
 
2013-03-26 09:45:33 PM  
I didn't see The Force on there. So that's cool right?
 
2013-03-26 09:56:35 PM  
If we can neither prove or disprove the existence of god, wouldn't any idea concerning god's existence be a belief?

I believe in God
I don't believe in god.

2 beliefs

/agnostic
 
2013-03-26 09:59:21 PM  

rcf1105: [img854.imageshack.us image 528x359]


I have a buddy from college who was a math major, is pretty smart, and now he is fighting bipolar disorder with some pretty extreme swings and some kind of delusional thing going on. This is the kind of thing he posts on Facebook all the time.
 
2013-03-26 10:06:22 PM  
My political blog. Everything in it is obviously correct.
 
2013-03-26 10:11:40 PM  

willfullyobscure: whatshisname: willfullyobscure: whatshisname: How can God exist? Nobody can even define it.

The mackerel snappers have a perfectly cromulent definition, honed by centuries of rigourous thought:

The Nature of God

Proof of the Existence of God

well worth the read, if i do say so myself. It's not like nobody ever thought about this before, you know. Its sort of central to Western civilization and stuff.

Those aren't definitions. They're vague descriptions. You might even say they are willfully obscure.

You're arguing with the Catholic Church over God

[www.myfacewhen.net image 192x191]


Why are you trolling and wasting people's time?
 
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