Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Some Guy)   This is the thread where you defend what you believe in and call everyone else's believes bollocks. Now with a Venn diagram for easy navigation   (crispian-jago.blogspot.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Cool, Venn diagram, critical thinking  
•       •       •

16616 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Mar 2013 at 3:55 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



520 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-03-26 04:02:44 PM  
img854.imageshack.us
 
2013-03-26 04:03:08 PM  

DesertDemonWY: [i1057.photobucket.com image 700x537]


Hey, I one-up Jimmy and just put certain people on ignore.
 
2013-03-26 04:03:30 PM  

Satanic_Hamster: I believes that subby is a semi-literate monkey who somehow got access to the internet.


I believe this is not bollocks.
 
2013-03-26 04:03:58 PM  
I know most chiropractors are quacks, but dammit, mine has saved my life repeatedly.

/slight exaggeration
//slight
 
2013-03-26 04:04:06 PM  

Earguy: Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.

[pauses then winks and walks away]


I kind of love you.
 
2013-03-26 04:04:09 PM  
The diagram in the link needs to include governement and business before it is complete.
 
2013-03-26 04:04:24 PM  
Rolfing ?

img69.imageshack.us
 
2013-03-26 04:04:34 PM  
I don't believe in any of that stuff.

What do I win?
 
2013-03-26 04:05:34 PM  
Never mind the bollocks.
memeboss.com
Here's the Sex Pistols.
 
2013-03-26 04:05:43 PM  
'what do you believe in?'

i believe i'll have another....
 
2013-03-26 04:06:07 PM  

hinten: Fark, where everyone biatches about bad grammar but nobody can state what is actually wrong.


Should be:

Fark: where everyone biatches about bad grammar but nobody can state what is actually wrong.
 
2013-03-26 04:06:27 PM  
I believe in nothing.

/yes it is exhausting
 
2013-03-26 04:06:43 PM  

hinten: Speaker2Animals: hinten: Fark, where everyone biatches about bad grammar but nobody can state what is actually wrong.

Defend what you believe in and call everyone else's believes bollocks.

".., defend your beliefs and call everyone else's beliefs bollocks."

Those are spelling errors not grammar mistakes but I see what you mean.


"believes" is not spelled wrong, it's just the wrong word.  So yes, it's a grammar mistake.
 
2013-03-26 04:06:55 PM  

meat0918: I don't believe in any of that stuff.

What do I win?


Nothing. That's the point, right?
 
2013-03-26 04:07:54 PM  
Hitting you right in the believes.
 
2013-03-26 04:08:07 PM  
If we're going to call the Shroud of Turin "bollocks," shouldn't we first have a scientific explanation for it beyond "inconclusive?"
 
2013-03-26 04:08:25 PM  

PumpkinCake: meat0918: I don't believe in any of that stuff.

What do I win?

Nothing. That's the point, right?


I can live with that.
 
2013-03-26 04:08:26 PM  

Majick Thise: I believe that prior to our birth we are not alive.

I believe that after our death we are also not alive.

I do not believe that these two instances (of being not alive) are any different. Both are the same... that is nothingness.


One has an unknown beginning point and the other has an unknown ending point.
 
2013-03-26 04:08:40 PM  
I like big bollocks and I cannot lie
 
2013-03-26 04:08:51 PM  

MaxxLarge: Mythology is just religion plus time. Forever and always, 100% of the time. No gods have ever been real, or will ever be real... Period.


That's an amazingly unscientific viewpoint.
 
2013-03-26 04:09:25 PM  

!Science

 
2013-03-26 04:09:57 PM  

Chach: If we're going to call the Shroud of Turin "bollocks," shouldn't we first have a scientific explanation for it beyond "inconclusive?"


We do, it's called Pareidolia
 
2013-03-26 04:11:07 PM  

TheOmni: FloydA: Rolfing is a form of massage that is supposed to "balance" the body and "optimize" muscle use (those terms are not explicitly defined).

Oh, now I'm actually kind of disappointed. I was imagining some sort of therapeutic purging. Something to do with balancing humors or vapors. Like blood letting, but with vomit.


Nope, just massage.  For therapeutic vomiting, you want the "Master Cleanse  Detox Purging Diet."  It removes unnamed "toxins" when you drink enough salt water to puke, and then you replace those toxins with lemonade to nourish the body.

(I've looked at a lot of "alternative medicine" techniques.  I'm not sure it's possible to imagine one that's crazier than the things people actually believe.)
 
2013-03-26 04:11:09 PM  
Whoooa hey hey hey stop! I'm willing to believe that everything on that list is complete bollocks, but you honestly going to look me in the face and tell me that Ouija boards don't work?!? Whaaa?!?
 
2013-03-26 04:11:32 PM  
Pfft.  I don't defend in what I believe in.  I don't believe in nothing no more.

I'm going to law school.
 
2013-03-26 04:12:04 PM  

TheOmni: There's at least eight things on that diagram that I've never even heard of before. Rolfing? I'm really hoping that's not what I think it is.


Glad I'm not the only one:)  I'm almost afraid to ask, but what's cupping?
 
2013-03-26 04:12:08 PM  

TheOmni: There's at least eight things on that diagram that I've never even heard of before. Rolfing? I'm really hoping that's not what I think it is.


It isn't.

And I'm not sure it deserves to be on the list.
 
2013-03-26 04:12:28 PM  
I believe that Fark and Reddit will one day become an unholy behemoth that will cause the end of Internet news media as we know it.

Don't say you weren't warned!
 
2013-03-26 04:13:10 PM  
This completely misunderstands Scientology.  They are a dangerous nutjob cult, but the author of this diagram isn't familiar with the details.  He's working from a pop Internet retelling of them.

/Scientology neighbor
 
2013-03-26 04:13:32 PM  

ParagonComplex: Why are out of body experiences there? They're nothing more than misunderstood lucid dreams. People swear to be damned they're real, but to them (and their minds) they are. The mind behaves as if it is fully awake during sleep, and lucid dreams are just as real as me typing this right now.


Came here to say this because I've had and OOB.
/Way different than a dream
//Awesome
 
2013-03-26 04:13:32 PM  

meanmutton: MaxxLarge: Mythology is just religion plus time. Forever and always, 100% of the time. No gods have ever been real, or will ever be real... Period.

That's an amazingly unscientific viewpoint.


In case you're wondering, the scientific viewpoint is: No credible evidence has been put forth to lead to a reasonable conclusion that gods exist; thus, we do not accept their existence but are willing to review this conclusion should new evidence be presented.
 
2013-03-26 04:13:42 PM  

meanmutton: MaxxLarge: Mythology is just religion plus time. Forever and always, 100% of the time. No gods have ever been real, or will ever be real... Period.

That's an amazingly unscientific viewpoint.


No kidding.

Mythology is how people explained what they could not explain before the advent of science.  A myth might say "A goddess gave us willow bark to ease pain".  Science can then be utilized to investigate whether or not willow bark does ease pain.

Now a lot of times, these myths (especially regarding herbs) don't pan out and are better explained as a placebo effect, but we can still take a look at these things through the lens of science.
 
2013-03-26 04:13:55 PM  
What is cupping?
 
2013-03-26 04:14:13 PM  
Karma is on that chart? Karma just means cause and effect. There's nothing particularly mystical about it, despite what I read on Facebook.
 
2013-03-26 04:14:14 PM  

Somacandra: The funny thing is that people involved in these really won't care that anyone else thinks its bollocks. For instance, I don't care what your "evaluation" of acupuncture and chiropractic are, I've had enough experience with both to know that they've really worked well for me in handling certain issues than before I had experience with them. As a practical guy, that's all the evidence I really want or need. YMMV.



Chiropractic for treating musculoskeletal back pain by spinal manipulation = legitimate.
Chiropractic for treating anything and everything by restoring the body's "innate intelligence" = quackery.
 
2013-03-26 04:14:39 PM  
Tarot also belongs in the religion circle. Our church when I was a kid told us that tarot decks were possessed by demons and using them invited the demon into you. The deck I got as a teenager never did anything exciting, so I am dissappoint.
 
2013-03-26 04:15:13 PM  

ACunningPlan: TheOmni: There's at least eight things on that diagram that I've never even heard of before. Rolfing? I'm really hoping that's not what I think it is.

Glad I'm not the only one:)  I'm almost afraid to ask, but what's cupping?


Alternative medicine hickies.
 
2013-03-26 04:15:44 PM  
Did I somehow miss the link to the English one?
 
2013-03-26 04:15:48 PM  
I miss 'Christian Science'. They could easily check all the boxes.
 
2013-03-26 04:16:09 PM  
Everything is bollocks. However, some bollocks is true. (For a given value of "truth".)
 
2013-03-26 04:16:28 PM  

GiantRex: Jubeebee: Why is detox in quackery/psuedoscience? Doesn't drug rehab show a lot of real efficacy?

The detox that this diagram includes is not the drug rehab kind (which does show a lot of real efficacy). It's the kind of detox in which people try to rid their bodies of mysterious unnamed "toxins" by dubious methods, usually by buying a blatantly bullshiat product. The product I've heard the most about is a type of pad that you stick on your feet. After you've left the pad on for a while, it turns brown and smelly, and when you remove it the damn thing looks just awful because it "sucked the toxins of of your body" through your feet. Chemical analysis of these pads shows that they are actually simple adhesive pads laced with chemicals that react with oils and bacteria commonly found on feet to cause the brown color and bad smell, which is just for show.


I thought those were just called socks.
Those commercials are funny. I like how the guy says they work to remove toxins from your body the same way a tree does. By taking in energy from the sun and dispensing the toxins out of the roots. Not only is that not how your body works, that's not even how a farking tree works.
 
2013-03-26 04:16:45 PM  

ACunningPlan: TheOmni: There's at least eight things on that diagram that I've never even heard of before. Rolfing? I'm really hoping that's not what I think it is.

Glad I'm not the only one:)  I'm almost afraid to ask, but what's cupping?


They rid the body of illness by placing a cup on the skin, usually with a candle under it that creates suction. It often leaves bruises and then cps shows up to arrest well-meaning immigrant parents because they think they are beating their kids.
 
2013-03-26 04:16:47 PM  

Chach: If we're going to call the Shroud of Turin "bollocks," shouldn't we first have a scientific explanation for it beyond "inconclusive?"


No, because sciencism says it's bollocks, and we are all sciencists now.
 
2013-03-26 04:17:17 PM  
indubitably
 
2013-03-26 04:17:34 PM  
It's all true. Especially the part about how Tom Cruise isn't gay.
 
2013-03-26 04:17:42 PM  

ACunningPlan: TheOmni: There's at least eight things on that diagram that I've never even heard of before. Rolfing? I'm really hoping that's not what I think it is.

Glad I'm not the only one:)  I'm almost afraid to ask, but what's cupping?


i105.photobucket.com

The "therapist" heats up some cups (usually glass) and places them on the skin.  The heated air inside the cups creates a partial vacuum, which is believed to suck unnamed "toxins" out of the body.
 
2013-03-26 04:17:54 PM  

Uncle Pim: Karma is on that chart? Karma just means cause and effect. There's nothing particularly mystical about it, despite what I read on Facebook.


Most people who use it, use it in the form of "If you do something good/bad, the universe will do something good/bad to or for you in turn", which is outside of cause and effect, and is bullshiat. Lots of people who do evil shiat live very pampered lives, and lots of good people live very harsh destitute lives.
 
2013-03-26 04:18:43 PM  

Ebenator: What is cupping?


The only cupping I've heard of is a BDSM practice, which I've seen, but not tried, so I can't attest to the experience, but the practitioners were definitely enjoying it, so it does work.  Somehow I don't think that's what the venn diagram is referring to.
 
2013-03-26 04:19:15 PM  

Moonfisher: Tarot also belongs in the religion circle. Our church when I was a kid told us that tarot decks were possessed by demons and using them invited the demon into you. The deck I got as a teenager never did anything exciting, so I am dissappoint.


I once played poker with a tarot deck.  I got a full house and my neighbor died.
 
2013-03-26 04:19:43 PM  
I was the biggest disbeliever in chiropractic,
that is. until the doctor gave me Valium for my back pain.
There are a few things I cannot abide by in my life, but taking narcotics to sleep at night is one of them.
I absolutely detest narcotics.
I like having a clear head.
I didn't want to go to see a chiropractor, but I was sweeping the floor in terrible pain, at my old job, and had to bend over to pick up a blow in ad that fell out of a stack of newspapers.
I flipped it over and it was a full page ad for this new chiro in town. So I made an appointment and gave it a chance. Ordinarily, I wouldn't have done this, but I was delirious from lack of sleep, pain, and drugs.
I was so out of it the day of the visit, I could barely dress, and went to the office for the visit with my frikkin fly down. I didn't care. I was in pain. Guy gave me an X-Ray, asked if I had been a a car wreck. (I had) and gave me a themo-graphic reading on the back to narrow down where the pain was, with out asking me.
Mind you, when I went to the REAL doctor, I told him it felt like I had an Ice Pick in my back. He didn't ask me to remove my shirt. The guy didn't even turn me around to see if I actually had an ice pick in my back. He just wrote me a scrip for Valium.
The chiropractor had me sit down, and tapped my back in one spot, and said is this where it hurts most?
BINGO. He knew where it was through his diagnostic check up.
He gave me one adjustment and it was like the ice pick was taken out. I flushed the pulls right down the john. never took one again. I still go in for adjustments, but I'm not drooling on my keyboard.

So ymmv, but call be a believer.
a convert.
 
Displayed 50 of 520 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report