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(Mother Jones)   Out of all stupid things Antonin Scalia has said or written about homosexuality and equal rights for gay Americans, here are absolutely the 7 worst   (motherjones.com) divider line 49
    More: Asinine, Scalia, Americans, New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg, sexual intimacy, adulterers, life partner, LGBT rights, Defense of Marriage Act  
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8654 clicks; posted to Politics » on 26 Mar 2013 at 11:05 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-03-26 11:33:02 AM
8 votes:
His ass must be jealous of all the shiat that falls out of his mouth.
2013-03-26 10:56:06 AM
4 votes:
Reposted for relevance...

Top Ten Reasons to Make Gay Marriage Illegal

01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all like many of the principles on which this great country was founded; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of marriages like Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Leviticus 19:10 And thou shalt not glean thy vineyard, neither shalt thou gather every grape of thy vineyard; thou shalt leave them for the poor and stranger: I am the LORD your God.


Which seems to point to Yahweh being down with welfare and assisting folks in need.

Leviticus 19:14 Thou shalt not curse the deaf, nor put a stumblingblock before the blind, but shalt fear thy God: I am the LORD.

Yahweh seems to be down with helping the handicapped too.

Leviticus 19:16 Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people: neither shalt thou stand against the blood of thy neighbour; I am the LORD.

So, apparently, lying and telling tales is not approved of, and that communities should stand together. Not just the pale people or the brown people, but all y'all's people...

Leviticus 19:17 Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thine heart: thou shalt in any wise rebuke thy neighbour, and not suffer sin upon him.

Guess wishing death and terribleness on your neighbors is out too. How many Democrats or Libertarians or Scientologist you think live in your neighborhoods?

Leviticus 19:18 Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I am the LORD.

Gee. Love thy neighbor. Nor on the children of your people. Whuddathunkit?

And, of course, there is something about immigrants that is completely ignored by the rabid Christian nationalists...

Leviticus 19:33 And if a stranger sojourn with thee in your land, ye shall not vex him.

Leviticus 19:34 But the stranger that dwelleth with you shall be unto you as one born among you, and thou shalt love him as thyself; for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt: I am the LORD your God.

Does that mean we can end this ridiculousness about trying to repeal the 14th Amendment, since Leviticus was down with that sort of thing LONG before the Founding Fathers or Lincoln?

Or if we have to throw out Leviticus as being outdated, does this mean we can toss out the whole hating the gheys thing too?

You can almost hear the gears grinding and popping in the audience...

"Gay Lib. Now interestingly, here is an attempt by a hooked down and kind of persecuted minority to insist on their place rightfully, and their treatment rightfully, without it having anything to do with ethnic or religion or anything! It's really an exciting separate part of liberation. ...Sometimes we, if we're younger, we react to that in a way that we've been schooled. Then you kinda get your chops, and you get things okay and you understand and it's all right to be able to talk about that. Here's what I mean. The word "homosexual," many people who aren't in the position to having to decide this, they wonder:

"Is homosexuality... Is it normal? Is it natural? I ask you. Is it normal or natural? Is it unnatural and abnormal?"

Now those two words seem to revolve around it. Now let's look at those words for what they are...

"Natural." Hey. Means "according to nature." Is it according to nature? Well...probably not in the strictest sense because nature didn't presuppose it. Nature only gave us one set of sexual apparatus. A girl's got something for the guys, a guy's got something for the girls. As it is now, a homosexual is forced to "share" the apparatus that the opposite sex is using on this person. Certainly if nature was in command there'd have two sets of goodies. So nature was not ready. We leaped past nature again in our sociological development, way down the road ahead of nature.

Is it normal? Normal? Well what's "normal?" Well, let's see.. if you're standing in a room, stripped, and it's dark, and you're hugging a person and loving them and rubbing them up and down, and they're rubbing you, and you're rubbing together and suddenly the light goes on and it's the same sex, you've been trained to go

"AAIIIAUUGGGAIIIAEAAHHHHHHHH!"

But if felt okayy.... So maybe it was normal without being natural..."

Yeah. It's more than time to get past this. Using the Bible to back you up on keeping rights from folks, when folks within said faith can't even agree on it, is automatically a violation of folks' right to worship freely. UUs. Methodists. Even some Baptists. Even Catholics. There is no consensus on this issue, and there are plenty of clergy who have stood on the matter of marriage equality.

No special rights. No separate but equal. Folks simply want to be normal, and stop having folks being Nosey Nellies when it comes to what happens in their lives, in their churches, and in their bedrooms. It is time that we stop catering to the whims of some faiths over others. It's that simple. You can't imagine having to explain to your children why Jimmy has two Dads? Not my f*cking problem what you tell your kids, because MY daughter already knows that all God's chill'uns gots to dance, but they don't always do it to the same music, and so long as everyone involved are consenting adults, and are happy, that's just fine. Get over yourselves you pants besh*tting cowards. Get over yourselves.
2013-03-26 11:26:12 AM
3 votes:
In all fairness, pretty much everything out of Scalia's mouth is stupid. This is the guy who once said that torture doesn't violate the prohibition against "cruel and unusual punishment" because it's not punishment. Some misfiring neurons in the gray mass of goo that passes for a brain in his skull actually managed to flop his big stupid jaw up and down and vibrate his vocal cords and pump his lungs to make those sounds come out of his fat gob. I had a retarded kid as a neighbor for a while who'd stand out in the backyard smacking himself on the head over and over with a tree branch going "HYEEEOOOOOOWWWWWWNGGGG" over and over again, and that kid is a freaking Einstein-level genius compared to Scalia.
2013-03-26 10:19:23 AM
3 votes:

PC LOAD LETTER: Scalia may be a twat, but he's a very smart man.


His arguments on gays in the military, DOMA, abortion rights, and citizens united speak otherwise.
2013-03-26 12:20:14 PM
2 votes:

Grungehamster: What are you talking about? Scalia is the father of the "strict constructionist" argument; of course he pretends to be impartial. Maybe impartial is the wrong word: he claims to be unbiased by personal opinions and rules strictly by what the founders intended (which, of course, perfectly is mirrored by the views of modern conservatives.) His opinion of gays as inherently corrupt and sinful individuals has nothing to do with how he will rule. No, the fact that the founders would have been offended by two men marrying one another.ra


Which of the founding fathers does he channel?  If we interrupt him while channeling will it cause Scalia irreparable brain damage.  Does his wife prefer to make love to him or his "founding father" persona?

I'm just asking questions.
2013-03-26 12:09:23 PM
2 votes:

Flaming Yawn: What's saddening is that there's are a thousand little kids somewhere who will grow up to be just as bad if not worse.


but when those new round of asshole kids tease a boy hanging out with another boy and say "If you like Steve so much, why don't you marry him?"

Adam can say "Maybe I will farknuts, what of it?"
2013-03-26 11:33:58 AM
2 votes:

Prank Call of Cthulhu: In all fairness, pretty much everything out of Scalia's mouth is stupid. This is the guy who once said that torture doesn't violate the prohibition against "cruel and unusual punishment" because it's not punishment. Some misfiring neurons in the gray mass of goo that passes for a brain in his skull actually managed to flop his big stupid jaw up and down and vibrate his vocal cords and pump his lungs to make those sounds come out of his fat gob. I had a retarded kid as a neighbor for a while who'd stand out in the backyard smacking himself on the head over and over with a tree branch going "HYEEEOOOOOOWWWWWWNGGGG" over and over again, and that kid is a freaking Einstein-level genius compared to Scalia.


I have all of his books. Very insightful.
2013-03-26 11:25:48 AM
2 votes:

abb3w: So, it's pretty unlikely he's going to support either Hollingsworth or Windsor. (It's not news, it's Fark.)


But don't worry.  With some selective quote mining and interpretation, he will be able to find justification.   Remember, it's not his opinion he puts on paper.  He's merely beholden to the original intent of those founders who happen to share his opinion.
2013-03-26 11:20:52 AM
2 votes:
Wow, after looking at that picture I realized that "ass face" isn't necessarily a pejorative; it can be an accurate description.
2013-03-26 11:20:33 AM
2 votes:
But think about all the stupid things he  hasn'tsaid yet.
2013-03-26 11:19:01 AM
2 votes:
"Many Americans do not want persons who openly engage in homosexual conduct as partners in their business, as scoutmasters for their children, as teachers in their children's schools, or as boarders in their home,"

Replace 'homosexual conduct' with 'black' and that'd fit in perfectly at Stormfront.

Scalia's dissent in Romer is a long lament over the supposed "special rights" being granted to people on the basis of sexual orientation.

Gays do not want special rights; they want the same rights everyone else has.  Gays do not want to be the only people allowed to enter into homosexual marriages, they'd be happy to allow 2 straight dudes to set up a sham gay marriage too.

 "It doesn't say you can't have-you can't have any sexual intimacy. It says you cannot have sexual intimacy with a person of the same sex."

I seriously cannot wait for the lawyer who aks him when he chose to be straight; when did he try making out with another man and decide that that wasn't for him.
2013-03-26 05:21:27 PM
1 votes:

Philip Francis Queeg: Milo Minderbinder: Lawnchair: Milo Minderbinder: At law, a marriage is not valid until it is consummated.

Um, no.

Mostly no.  13 states still have non-consummation in the books as specific grounds for annulment (and you can probably get an annulment in most of the rest), but the marriage is not invalid solely for non-consummation if neither party complains.

Still no. There is a difference between an annulment and a legal basis. Do any of those 16 states require ability to complete consummation as a prerequisite? Instead, they just let people out for that reason short of divorce.

/No boner police

Wait, you mean that I really wasn't required to give the Judge a video of my wedding night?


You could, but that "enhance" thing they do on CSI is fictional.
2013-03-26 04:01:22 PM
1 votes:

Philip Francis Queeg: Wait, you mean that I really wasn't required to give the Judge a video of my wedding night?


You were neither required nor asked to do that. You also weren't asked to send videos of every encounter since then. Please stop.
2013-03-26 01:10:19 PM
1 votes:

Forty-Two: I mean, wearing pink to show you support breast cancer research is pointless--who honestly thought that you didn't already support that?


What colour do I wear if I want to support cancer?
2013-03-26 12:56:59 PM
1 votes:
Car_Ramrod:
Once again, at it's very base concept, if men are allowed to marry women, but women aren't allowed to marry women, that's blatant gender discrimination.

I had never considered this blatantly obvious concept before.  I had always looked at it as 'How does the marriage of any two or more other individuals impact my marriage (regardless of sex)?'  I had never considered the gender discrimination as well.
2013-03-26 12:52:35 PM
1 votes:

verbaltoxin: bugontherug: syrynxx: I bet Scalia sits on a butt plug all day.

It is empirically established that opposition to homosexuality correlates with the presence of homosexual desire. Further, that intensity of opposition to homosexuality correlates with the intensity of homosexual desire.

Homophobic men get boners when shown gay porn. It's been studied. Closely. Deeply.


It's a fear boner!

thumbnails.hulu.com
2013-03-26 12:52:19 PM
1 votes:

PC LOAD LETTER: My cousin was his Law School roommate. Scalia may be a twat, but he's a very smart man.


So am I. That doesn't mean you would ever want to find yourself trapped in a stalled elevator with me.
2013-03-26 12:52:14 PM
1 votes:

verbaltoxin: bugontherug: syrynxx: I bet Scalia sits on a butt plug all day.

It is empirically established that opposition to homosexuality correlates with the presence of homosexual desire. Further, that intensity of opposition to homosexuality correlates with the intensity of homosexual desire.

Homophobic men get boners when shown gay porn. It's been studied. Closely. Deeply.


I always wonder if those studies try to account for the possibility that the same people that are so derpy about homosexuality are also often derpy about sexuality generally.

Is it that homophobes actually get off on gay porn, or are they just so deeply repressed across the board that any sexuality becomes arousing when presented because it's a novelty?
2013-03-26 12:51:51 PM
1 votes:

Rapmaster2000: Scalia LITERALLY reads the Constitution and if you study it out then you will see that the Founders agreed on everything, but especially that marriage is ONE MAN and ONE WOMAN for purposes of PROCREATION ONLY.

Just study it out like Justice Scalia did.  Study it out.


Now with extra fundieness.
2013-03-26 12:49:57 PM
1 votes:

verbaltoxin: bugontherug: syrynxx: I bet Scalia sits on a butt plug all day.

It is empirically established that opposition to homosexuality correlates with the presence of homosexual desire. Further, that intensity of opposition to homosexuality correlates with the intensity of homosexual desire.

Homophobic men get boners when shown gay porn. It's been studied. Closely. Deeply.


Yup.
2013-03-26 12:47:54 PM
1 votes:

bugontherug: syrynxx: I bet Scalia sits on a butt plug all day.

It is empirically established that opposition to homosexuality correlates with the presence of homosexual desire. Further, that intensity of opposition to homosexuality correlates with the intensity of homosexual desire.


Homophobic men get boners when shown gay porn. It's been studied. Closely. Deeply.
2013-03-26 12:45:42 PM
1 votes:

syrynxx: I bet Scalia sits on a butt plug all day.


It is empirically established that opposition to homosexuality correlates with the presence of homosexual desire. Further, that intensity of opposition to homosexuality correlates with the intensity of homosexual desire.
2013-03-26 12:39:34 PM
1 votes:

gingerjet: d23: Impeach Scalia.

For what exactly?  For having an opinion?


Maybe if you had, I don't know, read the thread, you'd have had the answer to this already.
2013-03-26 12:37:35 PM
1 votes:

gingerjet: No I won't. Seriously - its idiotic and doesn't do a damn thing. Why don't you mentor to a gay high school student instead? Or give money to a local gay rights organization (like Out Front in Minnesota)? Oh wait - that would actually require effort and real commitment. Sorry.


So, basically, you don't understand the concept of symbolism and it makes you very angry that other people do?
2013-03-26 11:39:19 AM
1 votes:
Well he's already gone all in with "gays might hurt kids in the future" line.

Roberts is questioning if Hollingsworth is even allowed to bring the case.
2013-03-26 11:38:37 AM
1 votes:
There is only one positive thing that might ever come from Scalia's life: Hopefully, his tenure will result in some sort of future overhaul in the impeachment processes or term limits for Supreme Court justices, so that we'll never again have to put up with judges who are either completely incompetent, completely bought and paid for, completely senile or all three.
2013-03-26 11:29:52 AM
1 votes:

Felgraf: hubiestubert: Yeah. It's more than time to get past this. Using the Bible to back you up on keeping rights from folks, when folks within said faith can't even agree on it, is automatically a violation of folks' right to worship freely. UUs. Methodists. Even some Baptists. Even Catholics. There is no consensus on this issue, and there are plenty of clergy who have stood on the matter of marriage equality.

And the United Church of Christ. Who had ads banned from television, 'cause promoting love and tolerance is waaaayyyy to controversial, apparently.

I recall going to a gay wedding presided over by the pastors at the church I grew up in when I was five. I hated it, but that was because I was five, and bored out of my goddamn skull....


I remember those ads! They were awesome and yeah, it was pretty sad when they were taken off the air for being "too controversial"...at 3AM. Like the "controversial" alternate ending to I Am Legend where he peacefully solves his conflict rather than chucking a grenade through a window. Cause damnit, son, this is AMERICA! If you're not going to blow some shiat up, I'm not sure WHAT you're all about!

And I'd just appreciate if the Fundies could pick a target and stick with it. I'm not sure you get to use a passage from the Torah to enable your homophobia while ALSO being anti-Semitic. I mean choose ONE, you don't get to hate both.
2013-03-26 11:29:35 AM
1 votes:

Nome de Plume: A lot of straw in that article.


Far more than a lot. What a laughable piece.
2013-03-26 11:26:33 AM
1 votes:

JerseyTim: I'm sure he'll say something stupid again today. Let's not all act shocked.


How about if a third of us act shocked, a third of us ACT shocked and a third of us act incredulously smug because we "called it"?
2013-03-26 11:25:29 AM
1 votes:

hubiestubert: Yeah. It's more than time to get past this. Using the Bible to back you up on keeping rights from folks, when folks within said faith can't even agree on it, is automatically a violation of folks' right to worship freely. UUs. Methodists. Even some Baptists. Even Catholics. There is no consensus on this issue, and there are plenty of clergy who have stood on the matter of marriage equality.


And the United Church of Christ. Who had ads banned from television, 'cause promoting love and tolerance is waaaayyyy to controversial, apparently.

I recall going to a gay wedding presided over by the pastors at the church I grew up in when I was five. I hated it, but that was because I was five, and bored out of my goddamn skull....
2013-03-26 11:21:42 AM
1 votes:

Karac: Scalia's dissent in Romer is a long lament over the supposed "special rights" being granted to people on the basis of sexual orientation.

Gays do not want special rights; they want the same rights everyone else has.  Gays do not want to be the only people allowed to enter into homosexual marriages, they'd be happy to allow 2 straight dudes to set up a sham gay marriage too.


Did you not learn anything from "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry"? No one wants that.
2013-03-26 11:20:13 AM
1 votes:
He's just a strict literalist who believes the Constitution is a dead document.

It's just uncanny how the strict literal dead Constitution falls on the right side of today's modern partisan lines 100% of the time.
2013-03-26 11:17:29 AM
1 votes:
 "It doesn't say you can't have-you can't have any sexual intimacy. It says you cannot have sexual intimacy with a person of the same sex." Later on in his dissent, Scalia argued that Americans' constitutional right to equal protection under the law wasn't violated by the Texas law for that reason. "Men and women, heterosexuals and homosexuals, are all subject to [Texas'] prohibition of deviate sexual intercourse with someone of the same sex."

Oh ok. Here that, lgbt farkers? Scalia is cool with you unless you do something he thinks is icky.
2013-03-26 10:50:46 AM
1 votes:

Babwa Wawa: vernonFL: In an interview with Jon Stewart, Rachel Maddow said that Scalia is a troll. He says things to intentionally get a rise out of the other Justices and the attorneys, staff and public who are present during arguments.

He's a troll.

Scalia's an ass, but I articles like this misrepresent his asshattery.

Part of what folks do in the legal profession is draw and play games with analogies.  "If this is legal, why not this?  If this is illegal, why not that?" is a big part of the theory of law.

The actual back and forth brings a microscope to the thinking of a particular justice, and in fact I like the fact that I know what Scalia's thinking, why he thinks it, and how he's likely to rule.  It's a hell of a lot better than silence.  Like that Clarence Thomas douche.


In fairness if we want to know how Thomas is going to rule we can just listen to Scalia.
2013-03-26 10:50:13 AM
1 votes:

mrshowrules: PC LOAD LETTER: My cousin was his Law School roommate. Scalia may be a twat, but he's a very smart man.

Stupid is as stupid does.

/he's also a bigot


Oh, come on, you don't even know PC LOAD LETTER's cousin.
2013-03-26 10:47:26 AM
1 votes:

bdub77: mrshowrules: Scalia is the last of a dying breed.  We know hot that works out in the end.

Yeah but it's sure taking a goddamn long time to die.


I never wish it on anyone although I am comforted by the inevitability of it for some people.
2013-03-26 10:31:55 AM
1 votes:

mrshowrules: Scalia is the last of a dying breed.  We know hot that works out in the end.


Yeah but it's sure taking a goddamn long time to die.
2013-03-26 10:29:02 AM
1 votes:
In an interview with Jon Stewart, Rachel Maddow said that Scalia is a troll. He says things to intentionally get a rise out of the other Justices and the attorneys, staff and public who are present during arguments.

He's a troll.
2013-03-26 10:19:59 AM
1 votes:
Scalia will be sucking Satan's thorny cock in hell for all eternity at least
2013-03-26 10:13:15 AM
1 votes:
Will Nixon's reign never cease?
2013-03-26 10:08:44 AM
1 votes:

namatad: Shouldnt scolia recuse himself on homosexuality cases?
He is REQUIRED to obey the church and therefore lacks all impartiality.


Because he's Catholic? Six of the Justices are Catholic.
2013-03-26 10:02:39 AM
1 votes:
Tigger: He hasn't been cleverly manipulated into a crazy position. His knowingly and wifully a sack of shiat.
vpb [TotalFark]
2013-03-26 09:58:28 AM
1 votes:

PC LOAD LETTER: My cousin was his Law School roommate. Scalia may be a twat, but he's a very smart man.


You know who else was a smart asshole?

/Seriously wondering if this guy wants to create a constitutional crisis.
2013-03-26 09:57:48 AM
1 votes:

PC LOAD LETTER: My cousin was his Law School roommate. Scalia may be a twat, but he's a very smart man.


Stupid is as stupid does.

/he's also a bigot
2013-03-26 09:55:22 AM
1 votes:

PC LOAD LETTER: My cousin was his Law School roommate. Scalia may be a twat, but he's a very smart man.


That makes his moral bankruptcy all the more disgusting. He hasn't been cleverly manipulated into a crazy position. His knowingly and wifully a sack of shiat.
2013-03-26 09:38:29 AM
1 votes:
I bet Scalia sits on a butt plug all day.
2013-03-26 09:28:20 AM
1 votes:
Where was "If his dick tastes like sh*t, you mustn't acquit"?  That jurisprudential gem puts the bow on the puppy...
2013-03-26 09:18:23 AM
1 votes:
I'm sure he'll say something stupid again today. Let's not all act shocked.
2013-03-26 09:15:51 AM
1 votes:
How did they narrow it down?
 
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