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(TC Palm)   Greeted by a drunken stripper and dirty talk, this couple took the road less traveled   (blogs.tcpalm.com) divider line 30
    More: Florida, Michelob Ultra, affidavit states, orifices  
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11612 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Mar 2013 at 9:20 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



30 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-03-26 09:04:21 AM  
FTA : people across the street are "(rectal orifices)" and are "(fornicated) up,"

Maybe it's just me but it's way funnier/cruder censored. .
In fact I think I will now substitute those words in place of "a-hole" altogether.
"That guy is a real rectal orifice"
Gotta nice ring to it.
 
2013-03-26 09:06:23 AM  
They found Lisa Marie Paras, 29, in an "underwear like or bikini dress" drinking a Michelob Ultra at the end of a driveway

At least she's watching her figure.
 
2013-03-26 09:25:13 AM  
Christ, what an asshole...
 
2013-03-26 09:34:07 AM  

Primitive Screwhead: FTA : people across the street are "(rectal orifices)" and are "(fornicated) up,"

Maybe it's just me but it's way funnier/cruder censored. .
In fact I think I will now substitute those words in place of "a-hole" altogether.
"That guy is a real rectal orifice"
Gotta nice ring to it.


Indeed. We'll have to start calling our congress critters rectal orifices.
 
2013-03-26 09:34:48 AM  
Can she be my neighbor?
 
2013-03-26 09:35:19 AM  

Primitive Screwhead: FTA : people across the street are "(rectal orifices)" and are "(fornicated) up,"

Maybe it's just me but it's way funnier/cruder censored. .
In fact I think I will now substitute those words in place of "a-hole" altogether.
"That guy is a real rectal orifice"
Gotta nice ring to it.


Ahhh, go fornicate yourself!

/yeah....I like it
 
2013-03-26 09:41:34 AM  
TFH: "Greeted by a drunken stripper and dirty talk, this couple took the road less traveled"

... anal?
 
2013-03-26 09:44:26 AM  
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-03-26 09:50:36 AM  
That whole situation sounds like a cluster (fornicate) between a drunk (rectum opening) wannabe stripper who just wants to give her neighbors (feces). Of course, I would have been friendlier to the (feces) head stripper wannabe in the hopes of a three-part (intercourse) session with the drunk (vagina).
 
2013-03-26 10:04:52 AM  
Christ, can we have a specific tag for this hack blogger who uses the same trite expressions in every damn blog?

Some form of "X is not usually Y", or a very obvious definition of something, will appear in every damn blog post he writes, and it keeps getting greenlit..

While many people enjoy drinking beer in their skivvies, not so many do so at the end of the driveway while accusing neighbors of being "(rectal orifices)" and "(fornicated) up."

Hunter, listed as a nurse, said she hit her boyfriend with a spoon, a utensil used in eating soups and stirring beverages.

In general, a burrito is a tortilla folded or wrapped around a filling, such as chicken, ground beef, cheese, black beans, salsa, lettuce and/or sour cream.

It's rare to encounter a man or woman exposing their sexual organs while supine, prostrate or otherwise positioned in the middle of a three lane thoroughfare.

The "40" volume level is 29 more than the 11 volume level discussed by the Nigel Tufnel and Marty DiBergi characters in the 1984 film "This Is Spinal Tap." It's also 10 less than the number in Paul Simon's song, "50 Ways To Leave Your Lover," and 10 more than the number in "30 Rock," the popular television comedy created by Tina Fey.

A shopping cart is a cart used for shopping, for example, during a shopping spree. Publix shopping carts, which are not to be confused with Publix shopping baskets, typically feature metal construction and four wheels that facilitate moving.

Chicken wings, which taste like chicken, are the wings of chickens.

Typically eaten with a spoon, ice cream is not often used as an offensive weapon.

Fireworks are not typically ignited in fast food drive-throughs.

A "dildo" is a sex toy more specifically described as a faux phallus.


/I'm now pissed at myself for scanning and finding examples of this hack's lazy writing.
//Lazy writing is not typically something to be lauded, which is a derivative of the Latin word Laudare.
 
2013-03-26 10:11:12 AM  
I love the "censorship".
Like there's an actual difference between a rectal orifice and an asshole. If you're old enough to understand and be insulted by the use of the world asshole you're old enough to read rectal orifice and know it's the same thing. Which leaves two possibilities:
1. The good folk at TCPalm thinks their readers are idiots , OR the more likely.
2. The good folk at TCPalm thinks that GOD the holy killer of infants thinks the use of the modern english words "fark", "asshole" and similar are against his will, and that the exact same things referred to using other mostly arbitrary combinations of english syllables is much better, proving themselves to be as stupid as they otherwise think their readers are.

Conclusion: There's stupid afoot.
 
2013-03-26 10:13:44 AM  

wickedragon: I love the "censorship".
Like there's an actual difference between a rectal orifice and an asshole. If you're old enough to understand and be insulted by the use of the world asshole you're old enough to read rectal orifice and know it's the same thing. Which leaves two possibilities:
1. The good folk at TCPalm thinks their readers are idiots , OR the more likely.
2. The good folk at TCPalm thinks that GOD the holy killer of infants thinks the use of the modern english words "fark", "asshole" and similar are against his will, and that the exact same things referred to using other mostly arbitrary combinations of english syllables is much better, proving themselves to be as stupid as they otherwise think their readers are.

Conclusion: There's stupid afoot.


No, it's more likely the initial censorship came from the actual police report, and the blogger thought it would be clever to repeatedly use it.

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-03-26 10:24:40 AM  

croesius: wickedragon: I love the "censorship".
Like there's an actual difference between a rectal orifice and an asshole. If you're old enough to understand and be insulted by the use of the world asshole you're old enough to read rectal orifice and know it's the same thing. Which leaves two possibilities:
1. The good folk at TCPalm thinks their readers are idiots , OR the more likely.
2. The good folk at TCPalm thinks that GOD the holy killer of infants thinks the use of the modern english words "fark", "asshole" and similar are against his will, and that the exact same things referred to using other mostly arbitrary combinations of english syllables is much better, proving themselves to be as stupid as they otherwise think their readers are.

Conclusion: There's stupid afoot.

No, it's more likely the initial censorship came from the actual police report, and the blogger thought it would be clever to repeatedly use it.

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 627x350]


But that is way less funny :(
 
2013-03-26 10:50:12 AM  
Boring...

/this is boring
 
2013-03-26 10:52:19 AM  
FTFA: "They found Lisa Marie Paras, 29, in an "underwear like or bikini dress" drinking a Michelob Ultra at the end of a driveway,"

Oh, did she just finish jogging or something?
 
2013-03-26 10:59:00 AM  

croesius: Christ, can we have a specific tag for this hack blogger who uses the same trite expressions in every damn blog?

Some form of "X is not usually Y", or a very obvious definition of something, will appear in every damn blog post he writes, and it keeps getting greenlit..

While many people enjoy drinking beer in their skivvies, not so many do so at the end of the driveway while accusing neighbors of being "(rectal orifices)" and "(fornicated) up."

Hunter, listed as a nurse, said she hit her boyfriend with a spoon, a utensil used in eating soups and stirring beverages.

In general, a burrito is a tortilla folded or wrapped around a filling, such as chicken, ground beef, cheese, black beans, salsa, lettuce and/or sour cream.

It's rare to encounter a man or woman exposing their sexual organs while supine, prostrate or otherwise positioned in the middle of a three lane thoroughfare.

The "40" volume level is 29 more than the 11 volume level discussed by the Nigel Tufnel and Marty DiBergi characters in the 1984 film "This Is Spinal Tap." It's also 10 less than the number in Paul Simon's song, "50 Ways To Leave Your Lover," and 10 more than the number in "30 Rock," the popular television comedy created by Tina Fey.

A shopping cart is a cart used for shopping, for example, during a shopping spree. Publix shopping carts, which are not to be confused with Publix shopping baskets, typically feature metal construction and four wheels that facilitate moving.

Chicken wings, which taste like chicken, are the wings of chickens.

Typically eaten with a spoon, ice cream is not often used as an offensive weapon.

Fireworks are not typically ignited in fast food drive-throughs.

A "dildo" is a sex toy more specifically described as a faux phallus.

/I'm now pissed at myself for scanning and finding examples of this hack's lazy writing.
//Lazy writing is not typically something to be lauded, which is a derivative of the Latin word Laudare.


I'm about 85% certain this writer is a Farker who writes these "hilarious" descriptions to get headlines greened. Their "literary genius" is frustrating as any basic writing course is has a couple of these "Webster's defines..." chuckleheads. Someone else must have picked this one up since usually the Weeners is them fellating the author for exceptional writing prowess and hilarious word use.

/Fellatio is the act of oral gratification and is typically seen as a pleasurable form of physical relations.
 
2013-03-26 11:26:13 AM  
Paras, whose occupation is listed as a dancer, tried to hug a deputy when he asked her to confirm some contact information.

Sounds like a fun gal. Would like to see the bikini dress mentioned.
 
2013-03-26 11:28:27 AM  
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com

While many people enjoy drinking beer in their skivvies, not so many do so at the end of the driveway while accusing neighbors of being "(rectal orifices)" and "(fornicated) up."
That's how I read that paragraph.
 
2013-03-26 11:30:55 AM  
"A deputy told her to put down the beer."
 That is all.
 
2013-03-26 11:32:31 AM  

abfalter: Christ, what an asshole...


You mean, (Religious leader), what an (anus).
 
2013-03-26 11:40:17 AM  
cdn.ientry.com

/back of a VW?
 
2013-03-26 11:45:06 AM  
i306.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-26 11:58:47 AM  

MadMonk: Can she be my neighbor?


Trust me on this...you don't want that kind of crazy anywhere near your life.  Not even for a little bit, because a gift like that will keep on giving until you get a restraining order.
 
2013-03-26 12:04:49 PM  

trappedspirit: Boring...

/this is boring


And unremarkable.
 
2013-03-26 12:25:42 PM  

croesius: Christ, can we have a specific tag for this hack blogger who uses the same trite expressions in every damn blog?

Some form of "X is not usually Y", or a very obvious definition of something, will appear in every damn blog post he writes, and it keeps getting greenlit..


Why do you hate the Ric Romero blog? Someone's got to train the digital generation how to milk a catchphrase.
 
2013-03-26 12:36:52 PM  

MadMonk: Can she be my neighbor?


Sure thing, Mr. Rogers.
 
2013-03-26 04:07:13 PM  

PainInTheASP: MadMonk: Can she be my neighbor?

Trust me on this...you don't want that kind of crazy anywhere near your life.  Not even for a little bit, because a gift like that will keep on giving until you get a restraining order.


This.  If you must hook up with the crazy (and, let's be honest, some of the best sex is with crazy women), never, EVER bring her back to your place, or let her know where you live.
 
2013-03-26 07:55:08 PM  
I think the cop was a rather large rectal orifice. He should have just told the drunken vagina to go back inside, and if he has to come back, he will arrest her.

But noooooooo... he has to arrest her right there. What a female hygiene apparatus typically fashioned out of a rubber bag with a hose connected to it.
 
2013-03-27 08:50:53 AM  

Harry Freakstorm: Paras, whose occupation is listed as a dancer, tried to hug a deputy when he asked her to confirm some contact information.

Sounds like a fun gal. Would like to see the bikini dress mentioned.


Get it? "Contact" information? Ha! You can't be mad at a stripper if you ask her for contact info and she rubs up on you while reciting history facts, that's perfectly cricket.
 
2013-03-27 01:10:06 PM  

special20: I think the cop was a rather large rectal orifice. He should have just told the drunken vagina to go back inside, and if he has to come back, he will arrest her.

But noooooooo... he has to arrest her right there. What a female hygiene apparatus typically fashioned out of a rubber bag with a hose connected to it.


(stripper) boot licker

/wait, what??
 
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