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(Slate)   "Dear Prudence: I run a cat colony, and I think my neighbor is poisoning my cats but I can't prove it. What should I do?"   (slate.com) divider line 731
    More: Sick, Prudi, Emily Yoffe  
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17886 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Mar 2013 at 10:11 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-26 08:36:01 AM  
The neighbor should start a free-range methadone clinic
 
2013-03-26 08:46:52 AM  
No your honor I didn't poison those cats, just look at this letter I wrote to Prudence.
 
2013-03-26 08:49:09 AM  
1.  Its wrong to poison cats. If you think something is wrong with the "cat colony" next door, please call the health department.

2. Please don't ever start a "cat colony" in a residential neighborhood.

Live by the above two rules, and we should have no problems.


Forever Yours,

Prudence.
 
2013-03-26 09:01:54 AM  
From TFA: You also should see if you can keep some of the remaining ones inside most of the time.

I would LOVE to have video of these people keeping a bunch of feral cats inside most of the time.

Someone spending what is probably not an insignificant sum spaying/neutering & microchipping feral cats has too much time & money on their hands.  How about donating that money to a shelter where it would give an adoptable animal a chance to go to a real home instead of destroying a neighborhood's wildlife population.

I don't condone the neighbor but I do understand the sentiment (assuming the 'colony' is not just a couple of cats)
 
2013-03-26 09:05:49 AM  
Oh, oh, where is this cat colony located? Because I'm running a rat colony, and I don't think that they will get along.
 
2013-03-26 09:06:40 AM  
Move your "cat colony" to a more appropriate location.

Shoot the cat-poisoning bastard in the face.
 
2013-03-26 09:21:53 AM  
Did Prudence start paying Fark for mouseclicks?
 
2013-03-26 09:39:34 AM  

Therion: Move your "cat colony" to a more appropriate location.


Define 'appropriate location'  because I can't think of anywhere that would want one.  As someone who lives on the edge of 'out in the country' I'm really tired of people dumping unwanted animals out here (I once came home to a SUV parked on the road in front of my house (100 or so yards away from the road), stupid family of stick figures in the rear window, stickers of soccer balls with the kids' names all over the side windows, & mom standing in my yard with an empty live trap.  When, with a feeling of 'now try to remember to keep your blood pressure down' coming over me, I asked what was going on, she perkily chattered that she was teaching her kids what to do with wild animals.  It seems that they had somehow managed to live trap a mole & was letting it loose - ON MY FRONT LAWN.  Her kids got an education all right but it was a rather loud lesson on how to swear.  When the cops showed up (we both called them), after hearing the story & they picked their jaws up off the ground they apologized to me that they really couldn't do anything to her & told her (in more polite words) pretty much the same that I had been doing.  Then (& while unenforceable it was still funny) they told her to get in her vehicle, get out of our town & never come back.

Unless you live out in the wilds of Alaska or deep in the middle of nowhere Montana, 'somewhere else' generally is someONE else's property & they tend not to want them either
 
2013-03-26 10:01:49 AM  
However, since they are microchipped to our address, animal control would call us and we would pick them up

Does their city not have leash laws that they should be charged with violating?  If you're chipping cats they are yours, and it's your responsibility to keep them off my lawn.

There's a key piece of information missing here: How big is your "colony"? If you're talking about more than a few cats, then your neighbor has a legitimate beef

No, any more than 0 cats roaming other peoples' property is a legitimate beef on their part.
 
2013-03-26 10:12:52 AM  

Recoil Therapy: Someone spending what is probably not an insignificant sum spaying/neutering & microchipping feral cats has too much time & money on their hands. How about donating that money to a shelter where it would give an adoptable animal a chance to go to a real home instead of destroying a neighborhood's wildlife population.


This.
 
2013-03-26 10:12:56 AM  
Kill your neighbor. If the cat poisonings stop, you know they were the one doing it.
 
2013-03-26 10:13:21 AM  
There's plenty of stupid to spread around that neighborhood.
 
2013-03-26 10:14:55 AM  
None of this would have happened if the American people had heeded Bob Barker's warnings.
 
2013-03-26 10:16:39 AM  

KiwDaWabbit: None of this would have happened if the American people had heeded Bob Barker's warnings.


Barker ran a slut colony on his gameshow, though, which is almost as bad as a cat colony.
 
2013-03-26 10:17:22 AM  
The neighbor should have poisoned the cats with lead.
 
2013-03-26 10:18:29 AM  

kid_icarus: KiwDaWabbit: None of this would have happened if the American people had heeded Bob Barker's warnings.

Barker ran a slut colony on his gameshow, though, which is almost as bad as a cat colony.


And, to compound it, that was all before they invented those fancy birth control methods, like pullin' out.
 
2013-03-26 10:20:14 AM  
Whatever you do, be sure not to start taxing the colony over tea and catnip. They tend to get all independency and revolutiony. Then you'll have even bigger problems on your hands.
 
2013-03-26 10:20:18 AM  

kid_icarus: KiwDaWabbit: None of this would have happened if the American people had heeded Bob Barker's warnings.

Barker ran a slut colony on his gameshow, though, which is almost as bad as a cat colony.


You shut your whore mouth.  We need as many slut colonies as we can get!
 
2013-03-26 10:20:37 AM  

Recoil Therapy: From TFA: You also should see if you can keep some of the remaining ones inside most of the time.

I would LOVE to have video of these people keeping a bunch of feral cats inside most of the time.

Someone spending what is probably not an insignificant sum spaying/neutering & microchipping feral cats has too much time & money on their hands.  How about donating that money to a shelter where it would give an adoptable animal a chance to go to a real home instead of destroying a neighborhood's wildlife population.

I don't condone the neighbor but I do understand the sentiment (assuming the 'colony' is not just a couple of cats)


I don't think they spent anything but time. They said an "organization" had them all altered.
I don't know where they live, but where I live the law says that if you feed it you own it, in regards to animals outside. I bet they consider them their cats, but when they go to the vet with them, they are "strays", so they can excuse themselves for not wanting to spend any money on them.
But then, I'm a cynic, I suppose.
I'm very glad I'm not their poor neighbor.
 
2013-03-26 10:21:18 AM  
I think the neighbor should start a coyote colony. The coyotes around here keep the stray cats numbers low. I keep my cats inside to keep them from becoming coyote snacks.

The number of cats involved in this is conspicuously missing. The letter writer probably has a good idea, but left it out on purpose.
 
2013-03-26 10:21:24 AM  

Carn: kid_icarus: KiwDaWabbit: None of this would have happened if the American people had heeded Bob Barker's warnings.

Barker ran a slut colony on his gameshow, though, which is almost as bad as a cat colony.

You shut your whore mouth.  We need as many slut colonies as we can get!


I'd like to add that if anyone would like to start a slut colony in my yard, please do so.
 
2013-03-26 10:21:43 AM  
I'm an animal lover as much as the next guy... but I have huge issues with feral cat colonies. Hey Crazy Cat Lady, when was the last time you heard a song bird in your neighborhood?

If you answer "What's a songbird?" then I think it's time to start thinning out that lost cause of a pet project.
 
2013-03-26 10:21:53 AM  
Anyone that poisons cats needs to be shot.  Not in a cruel way, maybe double-O buckshot to the face.  Make it nice and quick.
 
2013-03-26 10:21:55 AM  
What's with all the prudence cat  lately?
 
2013-03-26 10:22:11 AM  

miss diminutive: Whatever you do, be sure not to start taxing the colony over tea and catnip. They tend to get all independency and revolutiony. Then you'll have even bigger problems on your hands.


www.allfacebookemoticons.com
 
2013-03-26 10:22:33 AM  

serial_crusher: Does their city not have leash laws that they should be charged with violating?  If you're chipping cats they are yours, and it's your responsibility to keep them off my lawn.


Most leash laws only cover dogs, not cats.  More modern ones mention cats as well, but anywhere that it specifically has not been a problem won't have updated their older laws.

My advice for the neighbor, instead of antifreeze, would be to start a nice flower garden.  Monkshood along the fence would help, a few castor bean plants, or a nice oleander hedge row.
 
2013-03-26 10:24:05 AM  
I like cats, but lady, when you let your cats wander into your neighbors' property, and you know that one of said neighbors is likely a cruel asshole, you have assumed and accepted certain risks.  Deal with it or get proof.
 
2013-03-26 10:24:17 AM  
media.tumblr.com
 
2013-03-26 10:24:24 AM  
Kill yourself. Let the cats feast upon your flesh. Then the world will be rid of an irresponsible person and the neighbor will be free to deal with the cats as he pleases.
 
2013-03-26 10:24:48 AM  
If the neighborhood is in DC, the cat colony isn't necessarily a bad thing. They tend to keep rat populations under control.
 
2013-03-26 10:26:06 AM  
Seriously is there no chinese restaurant in that town?
 
2013-03-26 10:26:07 AM  

Marcus Aurelius: Anyone that poisons cats needs to be shot.  Not in a cruel way, maybe double-O buckshot to the face.  Make it nice and quick.


Technically, the lady in the letter poisoned the cats when she had them put down
 
2013-03-26 10:26:09 AM  
A damned opossum has been chewing on my mother's flowers; we've seen the furry bastard at it. We set out a trap for him and baited it with a little meat. We didn't catch him; we did, however, catch one of the 37 cats that the crazy cat lady down the street has. He was a biggen, just about feral and not happy to be trapped. While I was trying to determine the best way to get him out without loosing a few fingers; crazy cat lady came out and started screaming at the top of her lungs, "WHY DID YOU TRAP MY BABY!".

She rushed over, screeching, and released the trap's latch; but not before the tom took a huge chunk out of her hand. When he was free; he darted off into the bushes.
 
2013-03-26 10:26:35 AM  
If I was the neighbor I'd be starting a coyote colony.  Problem solved.

/Has a cat
//Keeps him inside
///I have often threatened to trap every neighbors free-range cat and have a buddy that works for animal control pick them up.
////He said he'd gladly pick them up and levy the fines for having an animal running loose.
//Wife won't let me.
 
2013-03-26 10:26:52 AM  

Clearance for Clarence: If the neighborhood is in DC, the cat colony isn't necessarily a bad thing. They tend to keep rat populations under control.


But then you need to bring in a pack of wild dogs to keep the cats under control.
 
2013-03-26 10:26:59 AM  
Nobody "runs" a cat colony. What you are doing is feeding a bunch of feral ammonia machines who would just as soon nibble on your rotting corpse as rub against your leg.

Stupid cat people.
 
2013-03-26 10:27:29 AM  
Wow - I really enjoy Prudence, but she's got some real victim blaming going on here. No ITG - you come near my cats and I'll make your death as slow and painful as I can get away with. Hopefully she can prove it, because animal abuse is a felony in many places.

/I support the death penalty for animal abusers
 
2013-03-26 10:27:55 AM  

KarmicDisaster: Oh, oh, where is this cat colony located? Because I'm running a rat colony, and I don't think that they will get along.


www.teenagewastelandonline.com

These guys have a business proposal for you.
 
2013-03-26 10:28:33 AM  

Carn: Carn: kid_icarus: KiwDaWabbit: None of this would have happened if the American people had heeded Bob Barker's warnings.

Barker ran a slut colony on his gameshow, though, which is almost as bad as a cat colony.

You shut your whore mouth.  We need as many slut colonies as we can get!

I'd like to add that if anyone would like to start a slut colony in my yard, please do so.


Have you ever considered the advantages of owning a really good set of live traps?
 
2013-03-26 10:28:53 AM  
You know how I know these are not feral cats?

/has worked with feral cats. You don't just grab one and take it to a vet.
 
2013-03-26 10:28:59 AM  
1 vagrant cat = acceptable
>1 vagrant cat = fark you crazy neighbor

CSB: I have a kitty that wanders through my yard on a semi-regular basis. not sure if it belongs to someone or not, I do know that the rabbit and squirrel population has plummeted since his arrival. In the winter I use the snowblower to clear a path to one of its hiding places in my yard, thats my thanks to the little fellow for his rodent control.
 
2013-03-26 10:29:38 AM  

GoldSpider: Clearance for Clarence: If the neighborhood is in DC, the cat colony isn't necessarily a bad thing. They tend to keep rat populations under control.

But then you need to bring in a pack of wild dogs to keep the cats under control.


4.bp.blogspot.com
Hey guys, what's going on here?
 
2013-03-26 10:30:19 AM  

GoldSpider: But then you need to bring in a pack of wild dogs to keep the cats under control.


It's OK. The gorillas will freeze to death during the winter.
 
2013-03-26 10:30:36 AM  
All my cats are rescues from feral colonies; the woman in TFA isn't doing the cats she is feeding any favors by leaving them out like that. They would be a lot better off if she would find a rescue organization that could trap and socialize the cats until they could be adopted.
 
2013-03-26 10:31:02 AM  
Cats are terrible.
 
2013-03-26 10:31:12 AM  

Anderson's Pooper: It's OK. The gorillas will freeze to death during the winter.


I see that you saw what I did there...  :)
 
2013-03-26 10:31:34 AM  

KatjaMouse: I'm an animal lover as much as the next guy... but I have huge issues with feral cat colonies. Hey Crazy Cat Lady, when was the last time you heard a song bird in your neighborhood?

If you answer "What's a songbird?" then I think it's time to start thinning out that lost cause of a pet project.


We had a yard full of beautiful songbirds who would sing and chirp every morning. Not kidding. It was wonderful.

Then renters moved in next door with their two continuously barking 100% outdoor dogs and their 100% outdoor cat. No more birds. I hope most of them just flew away and livening up someone else's yard. There are days I want to kill their "pets", but I know it's not the animals' fault they have such irresponsible owners.

I actually have no problem with outdoor pets... if you have the room for those pets to live comfortably without bothering others and also actually take care of them. That is not the case here.
 
2013-03-26 10:32:05 AM  

Recoil Therapy: From TFA: You also should see if you can keep some of the remaining ones inside most of the time.

I would LOVE to have video of these people keeping a bunch of feral cats inside most of the time.

Someone spending what is probably not an insignificant sum spaying/neutering & microchipping feral cats has too much time & money on their hands.  How about donating that money to a shelter where it would give an adoptable animal a chance to go to a real home instead of destroying a neighborhood's wildlife population.

I don't condone the neighbor but I do understand the sentiment (assuming the 'colony' is not just a couple of cats)



THIS. Cats are ruthless on small animals in urban and suburban settings. I bet she hasn't heard a bird chirp in months.

/They are serpents with fur
 
2013-03-26 10:33:49 AM  
Since this seems as good a forum as any, does anyone have any helpful hints for keeping the neighborhood cats from leaving headless squirrels on my property? It's super annoying to have to take a quick survey of the back deck, yard and gangway every day to make sure there isn't a rotting corpse for the opossums to come nibble on.
 
2013-03-26 10:34:18 AM  

DROxINxTHExWIND: /They are serpents with fur


Furpents?
 
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