If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Independent)   Britain faces a natural gas shortage due to record cold weather. Homeowners are so cold that their teeth would be chattering if they had any   (independent.co.uk) divider line 28
    More: Unlikely, Britain, fuel reserve, natural gas shortage, Friends of the Earth, shortages, natural gas, fuel mix disclosure, homeowners  
•       •       •

699 clicks; posted to Business » on 26 Mar 2013 at 8:05 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



28 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2013-03-26 07:36:39 AM
I'm guessing they don't have Taco Bell there?
 
2013-03-26 08:06:13 AM
The average "dual-fuel" gas and electricity bill in the UK currently stands at a record £1,300 a year

Which is, what, about $2,000 a year or so?

YAWN

/Mainer
 
2013-03-26 08:14:35 AM
Don't worry UK, we have all the natural gas you could ever want to buy over here in Derpland. Our gas, let us sell you it.
 
2013-03-26 08:21:58 AM
Its not that they dont have any teeth, its just that you cant hear them chatter because they all miss eachother.
 
2013-03-26 08:47:14 AM
Do I really need to point out that dentistry is covered by the NHS, so, pretty close to free? While the US healthcare / dentistry system regularly farks over all patients with the costs of anything?
 
2013-03-26 09:46:06 AM

xxdangerbobxx: Do I really need to point out that dentistry is covered by the NHS, so, pretty close to free?


Apparently the Brits didn't get the memo, so, yeah.
 
2013-03-26 10:05:55 AM

xxdangerbobxx: Do I really need to point out that dentistry is covered by the NHS, so, pretty close to free? While the US healthcare / dentistry system regularly farks over all patients with the costs of anything?


Shhh, you'll spoil what passes for 'humor' in Septic-land.
 
2013-03-26 10:40:50 AM
Seems like every year its the same old story. And every year the governemt claims they are workking on it so that it doesn't happen again.
We have so much natural gas here the shale guys are cutting back on well production to get the prices back up so that profits can go back up.
I know they have and are still building pipe lines to get the gas out of the mountains to main lines. But the story I read says they rely on shipments from Quatar(sp?).
Come and get our gas
 
2013-03-26 11:22:56 AM

xxdangerbobxx: Do I really need to point out that dentistry is covered by the NHS, so, pretty close to free? While the US healthcare / dentistry system regularly farks over all patients with the costs of anything?


"free" yep.

xanadian: The average "dual-fuel" gas and electricity bill in the UK currently stands at a record £1,300 a year

Which is, what, about $2,000 a year or so?

YAWN

/Mainer


The average home in the UK is about 1/3 of the size of the average US home... so triple that figure.
 
2013-03-26 11:37:54 AM
Perhaps they should ramp up their factories to emit more greenhouse gasses and try to trap more heat.
 
2013-03-26 12:59:11 PM

dragonchild: xxdangerbobxx: Do I really need to point out that dentistry is covered by the NHS, so, pretty close to free?

Apparently the Brits didn't get the memo, so, yeah.


Or maybe it's because Brits and most of the rest of the world aren't raised from birth to be cravenly superficial and the odd misaligned tooth or discoloration doesn't make someone a social pariah?
 
2013-03-26 01:32:45 PM
British teeth and US teeth are born equal, trust me, I have seen enough uncorrected smiles in both countries to be sure of that, it's not a genetic thing.
The difference is Brits don't attach as much importance to perfect smiles and as such are less obsessed with spending excessive sums of money on dental work. NHS dental work isn't free unless you are on sickness benefits (disability in Yankee doodle English), pregnant or a child. They are merely subsidized and the cost is shared across the taxpayers, as such people aren't encouraged to have unnecessary cosmetic work unless they go private and pay full-price, which as the spread of US celebrity culture grows has become more common.
Equate Britain with Tennessee and you'd be about right. Plenty of perfectly good looking smiles in the big cities, a mix of half & half in the boonies due to poverty or wealth and lucky or unlucky genes/lifestyle.

/teef innit guv
 
2013-03-26 01:55:28 PM

MugzyBrown: xxdangerbobxx: Do I really need to point out that dentistry is covered by the NHS, so, pretty close to free? While the US healthcare / dentistry system regularly farks over all patients with the costs of anything?

"free" yep.

xanadian: The average "dual-fuel" gas and electricity bill in the UK currently stands at a record £1,300 a year

Which is, what, about $2,000 a year or so?

YAWN

/Mainer

The average home in the UK is about 1/3 of the size of the average US home... so triple that figure.


Ahh, statistics pulled straight from your dirty asshole. So helpful!
 
2013-03-26 02:32:21 PM

xxdangerbobxx: MugzyBrown: xxdangerbobxx: Do I really need to point out that dentistry is covered by the NHS, so, pretty close to free? While the US healthcare / dentistry system regularly farks over all patients with the costs of anything?

"free" yep.

xanadian: The average "dual-fuel" gas and electricity bill in the UK currently stands at a record £1,300 a year

Which is, what, about $2,000 a year or so?

YAWN

/Mainer

The average home in the UK is about 1/3 of the size of the average US home... so triple that figure.

Ahh, statistics pulled straight from your dirty asshole. So helpful!


Average UK home size: 76 sq m
Average US home size: 214 sq m

Source:  http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/8201900.stm

I'd say that's actually pretty damn close
 
2013-03-26 03:17:27 PM

vpb: I'm guessing they don't have Taco Bell there?


Forget Taco Bell, they've got thousands of curry shops to fill the gas lines.
 
2013-03-26 03:54:54 PM

PIP_the_TROLL: Or maybe it's because Brits and most of the rest of the world aren't raised from birth to be cravenly superficial and the odd misaligned tooth or discoloration doesn't make someone a social pariah?


I figure it's because they're all alcoholics.
 
2013-03-26 04:02:59 PM
Wow, average UK house is 820 sf. Mine is 2600. I have a neighbor that has an 850 sf house and his taxes are $275 a year. Mine are $1700. Lucky guy.
 
2013-03-26 05:28:08 PM

Pick: Wow, average UK house is 820 sf. Mine is 2600. I have a neighbor that has an 850 sf house and his taxes are $275 a year. Mine are $1700. Lucky guy.


2600SqFt? Nice McMansion! You don't need that! Why would you need that? Stop being the problem. Stop suprting the destruction of the planet. Why do you hat the poor kids? You should be forced to share that house woth a disadvantaged family.
 
2013-03-26 07:14:07 PM

Pick: Wow, average UK house is 820 sf. Mine is 2600. I have a neighbor that has an 850 sf house and his taxes are $275 a year. Mine are $1700. Lucky guy.


Mine is 926 sf but $2,400 or so in taxes - wanna trade?
 
2013-03-26 07:59:52 PM
jaybeezey:

2600SqFt? Nice McMansion! You don't need that! Why would you need that? Stop being the problem. Stop suprting the destruction of the planet. Why do you hat the poor kids? You should be forced to share that house woth a disadvantaged family.

You got anger-froth all over your keyboard and I think your fingers slipped onto the wrong letters a few times, try typing without screaming and spitting at the same time, it's so much better for your blood pressure.

/will realize you're joking when you realize I am, or shortly thereafter
 
2013-03-26 10:00:34 PM
Well the UK just lifted their ban on fracking a few months back. So perhaps they're getting serious about the problem.
 
2013-03-26 11:22:09 PM

YoOjo: jaybeezey:

2600SqFt? Nice McMansion! You don't need that! Why would you need that? Stop being the problem. Stop suprting the destruction of the planet. Why do you hat the poor kids? You should be forced to share that house woth a disadvantaged family.

You got anger-froth all over your keyboard and I think your fingers slipped onto the wrong letters a few times, try typing without screaming and spitting at the same time, it's so much better for your blood pressure.

/will realize you're joking when you realize I am, or shortly thereafter


I've never 'hatted' a poor kid in my life. Let them get their own hats.
 
2013-03-26 11:23:03 PM

jaybeezey: Pick: Wow, average UK house is 820 sf. Mine is 2600. I have a neighbor that has an 850 sf house and his taxes are $275 a year. Mine are $1700. Lucky guy.

2600SqFt? Nice McMansion! You don't need that! Why would you need that? Stop being the problem. Stop suprting the destruction of the planet. Why do you hat the poor kids? You should be forced to share that house woth a disadvantaged family.


2600 is a McMansion now?

/apparently lives in a McMansion.
 
2013-03-26 11:33:39 PM

Mrbogey: Well the UK just lifted their ban on fracking a few months back. So perhaps they're getting serious about the problem.


Yeah, in a few years the old age pensionsers will be able to turn on the tap (aka faucet) and light the water to boil their tea! Run a fire-proof hose to the table and you can keep your meat teas warm with a gas-powered chauffing dish.

Of course, their landlords will charge them for the gas. This is called "drinking from a fire hose", metaphorically speaking. And literally if you forget and try to drink from the hose when you water the lawn.

Of course, the British are never allowed to water their grass except during floods.
 
2013-03-26 11:55:45 PM
My first cousin has about 3500 ft2 but then he is the Mayor. One great idea they had when they built the house was upstairs and downstairs laundry rooms. No carrying laundry up and down staircases. I don't know what they have to launder downstairs. Table cloths? Outdoor clothes? That's still not a McMansion though. I think you probably need at least 4,500 ft2 to start calling the cardboard box held together with glue, staples and about three nails, a McMansion.

I've seen photos of small lovely American towns that come straight out of Currier & Yves prints or old Christmas movies.

They are full of gigantic cottages.

Their secret:  in the winter time they didn't bother to heat the whole house. The family moved into the winter kitchen and maybe a couple of small rooms on the first floor for the duration. They only used those cool upper rooms in the Summer when the winter kitchen would get so hot they had to move cooking to the summer kitchen which was often separate from the main house to keep cooking smells and heat out of the house.

Wood was cheap. Work was cheap. Land was cheap. The middle classes could afford servants: at least a cook and a day women who took in laundry, to remove the two most oppressive and deadly jobs from the ladies of the household. Then a maid or two to wash floors (on their knees, with lots of elbow-grease), walls, ceilings, etc.

I've seen some unfinished "mansions" and THEY ARE CRAP CONSTRUCTION. What happened to all the massive wood? Oh, wait. We cut it all down in the 1970s and made it into TP and McDonalds wrappers.

Everything is veneer nowadays--the wood, the marble, the granite. There's no real value in upper middle class homes any more.

No wonder people are living in barns (granges), stables (mews) and bijoux townhouses (working class row houses). In the UK before Socialism, people moved up into the abandoned houses of the rich like hermet crabs. They still seek quality and old world charm but they now move down in the abandoned houses of the poor and working classes, fixing them up at tremendous cost and selling them for a profit to somebody even richer and stupider.

What can I say? Socialism works. Sort of. It is a leveller.

But then so is competition and sharing the wealth. I'd prefer levelling up. I like it when everybody looks rich as they do in the better sort of places in New England or Scandinavia.
 
2013-03-27 12:49:20 AM

brantgoose: Mrbogey: Well the UK just lifted their ban on fracking a few months back. So perhaps they're getting serious about the problem.

Yeah, in a few years the old age pensionsers will be able to turn on the tap (aka faucet) and light the water to boil their tea! Run a fire-proof hose to the table and you can keep your meat teas warm with a gas-powered chauffing dish.

Of course, their landlords will charge them for the gas. This is called "drinking from a fire hose", metaphorically speaking. And literally if you forget and try to drink from the hose when you water the lawn.

Of course, the British are never allowed to water their grass except during floods.


The methane in the water isn't caused by fracking. The video of a faucet igniting was deceptive.
 
2013-03-27 07:32:16 AM

neongoats: Don't worry UK, we have all the natural gas you could ever want to buy over here in Derpland. Our gas, let us sell you it.


They'd love to buy it, but the utilities / businesses know if LNG is easier to export our current glut would flow out of the country and raise the low prices here - so they lobby hard to make it hard to exporr
 
2013-03-27 10:38:38 PM

stratagos: neongoats: Don't worry UK, we have all the natural gas you could ever want to buy over here in Derpland. Our gas, let us sell you it.

They'd love to buy it, but the utilities / businesses know if LNG is easier to export our current glut would flow out of the country and raise the low prices here - so they lobby hard to make it hard to exporr


Cheniere has signed deals to start exporting LNG in a couple of years, but that is still dependent on the Feds approving the idea.
 
Displayed 28 of 28 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report