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(City of Seattle)   "Police received a report that a man was exposing himself inside a West Seattle bar, where he had repeatedly pulled his purple sweatpants down and thrown 'some kind of smoke' like some sort of half-naked wizard"   (spdblotter.seattle.gov) divider line 50
    More: Amusing, fire extinguishers  
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3831 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Mar 2013 at 9:15 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



50 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-03-25 08:12:02 PM  
Please let it be tiny dick wizard getting tased.

"Click"
DAMN
 
2013-03-25 08:20:06 PM  
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-03-25 08:28:38 PM  
He's not the first to expose himself at the Young Whore; his mistake was setting off the extinguisher and quite possibly not tipping.
Abbey got her drank on in that place a few times. They have no right to be acting uppity.
 
2013-03-25 08:33:10 PM  
ARE YOU A HALF-NAKED WIZARD?
 
2013-03-25 09:20:37 PM  
0.tqn.com
 
2013-03-25 09:20:39 PM  
Were they Lululemon sweatpants?
Or is this another crazy NZ story?
 
2013-03-25 09:21:25 PM  
West Seattle Bowl is one of my favorite alleys in the Puget Sound area. Cheap beer, cheap Chinese food, cheap lanes. It really distills the essence of bowling down to its constituent parts.

Plus, they serve pitchers of Snow Cap Ale during the winter.
 
2013-03-25 09:22:15 PM  
narwhaler.com
 
2013-03-25 09:23:40 PM  
I think I know the culprit's IRC name:

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 chicken of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me biatch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?
--------------
BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something
 
2013-03-25 09:24:34 PM  
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2013-03-25 09:24:57 PM  
THIS. THIS is how I get a younger woman?
 
2013-03-25 09:25:58 PM  
At least he didn't reveal the secret of the Aztec Tomb on TV.
 
2013-03-25 09:29:03 PM  
I can't help but think of Zed from the Sword of Truth series, especially how he is introduced.
 
2013-03-25 09:30:37 PM  
LIGHTNING BOLT! LIGHTNING BOLT!
 
2013-03-25 09:30:44 PM  

Omahawg: THIS. THIS is how I get a younger woman?


Tell them you are Gandalf the Green, wizard of weed. Check for dreads first.
 
2013-03-25 09:32:07 PM  
I love it when real life imitates Oglaf.
 
2013-03-25 09:34:55 PM  
About 4 miles west and he would be OK.
 
2013-03-25 09:35:03 PM  

doglover: [24.media.tumblr.com image 500x280]


Dammit.
 
2013-03-25 09:39:21 PM  
i.qkme.me
Real wizards are ashamed of their bodies.
 
2013-03-25 09:39:37 PM  

sloshed_again: About 4 miles west and he would be OK.


QFT.
 
2013-03-25 09:40:41 PM  

HighlanderRPI: [encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com image 179x282]


Mighty Bazongas!
 
2013-03-25 09:42:14 PM  

MFAWG: sloshed_again: About 4 miles west and he would be OK.

QFT.


International  waters.
 
2013-03-25 09:42:38 PM  
For those who haven't seen it...

NSFW Link
 
2013-03-25 09:43:00 PM  
I put on my robe and wizard pants...
 
2013-03-25 09:43:46 PM  
Isn't it time we had a serious conversation about a Washington State tag?
 
2013-03-25 09:44:01 PM  
He had smoke coming out of his dick? How old is this guy?
 
2013-03-25 09:46:14 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-03-25 09:50:11 PM  

AverageAmericanGuy: West Seattle Bowl is one of my favorite alleys in the Puget Sound area. Cheap beer, cheap Chinese food, cheap lanes. It really distills the essence of bowling down to its constituent parts.

Plus, they serve pitchers of Snow Cap Ale during the winter.


You're too good for highballs at the Young Whore?
 
2013-03-25 09:55:17 PM  

AbbeySomeone: AverageAmericanGuy: West Seattle Bowl is one of my favorite alleys in the Puget Sound area. Cheap beer, cheap Chinese food, cheap lanes. It really distills the essence of bowling down to its constituent parts.

Plus, they serve pitchers of Snow Cap Ale during the winter.

You're too good for highballs at the Young Whore?


Well, I'm from the Eastside. So yes.
 
2013-03-25 10:04:09 PM  
Fred Weasley has fallen on hard times since his brother died.
 
2013-03-25 10:12:42 PM  

sloshed_again: MFAWG: sloshed_again: About 4 miles west and he would be OK.

QFT.

International  waters.


Alki.
 
2013-03-25 10:13:59 PM  

Slam1263: Isn't it time we had a serious conversation about a Washington State tag?


Idaho maybe.
 
2013-03-25 10:27:28 PM  
I cast off my robe and wizard hat
 
2013-03-25 10:30:18 PM  
MFAWG: sloshed_again: MFAWG: sloshed_again: About 4 miles westeast and he would be ok on QA.

QFT.

International  waters.

Alki.

The Alki Tavern is 2 miles and N/NE.
 
2013-03-25 10:34:03 PM  
Escapee from the Jehovah's Witness Kingdom Hall right around the corner?
 
2013-03-25 10:34:41 PM  
Wow!  Finally my home town gets a Fark thread.

anthonyjosephevans.com

Went there a few years ago to have a quick drink before picking up some videos at Blockbuster that used to be across the street.  Powerful drinks, Bar circa 1970, extremely yummy Chinese food.
 
2013-03-25 10:51:10 PM  
I once took a dump and set off the smoke alarm.  That's the same thing right?
 
2013-03-25 11:06:28 PM  
By and by, I come to realize that everyone I know to come out of West Seattle seriously is farking crazy. And drunk.


/Purple sweatpants?! Ugh, farking huskies are so disgusting.
 
2013-03-25 11:06:51 PM  

AbbeySomeone: MFAWG: sloshed_again: MFAWG: sloshed_again: About 4 miles westeast and he would be ok on QA.

QFT.

International  waters.

Alki.

The Alki Tavern is 2 miles and N/NE.


Fast boat and you are good to go.
 
2013-03-25 11:18:27 PM  
Half Naked Wizard, new band name, I call it.
 
2013-03-25 11:20:12 PM  
Wasn't me!
 
2013-03-25 11:39:16 PM  
If he were a real wizard he could fart all the colors of the rainbow. Not just purple.
 
2013-03-25 11:52:11 PM  

creepy jackalope eye: Half Naked Wizard, new band name, I call it.


Great! you got the name, now all you need are friends and talent and you're all set =D
 
2013-03-26 12:11:59 AM  

Smeggy Smurf: I once took a dump and set off the smoke alarm.  That's the same thing right?


Have I mentioned how much I pity your wife?
 
2013-03-26 12:55:25 AM  

Gyrfalcon: Smeggy Smurf: I once took a dump and set off the smoke alarm.  That's the same thing right?

Have I mentioned how much I pity your wife?


More than once.  It's a good thing she's as farked up as I am.  Don't ask, you really don't want to know.
 
2013-03-26 01:19:25 AM  
Last of the red hot swamis
 
2013-03-26 06:07:57 AM  

Sudo_Make_Me_A_Sandwich: I think I know the culprit's IRC name:

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 chicken of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me biatch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?
--------------
BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something


Well.... I know how I'm spending the rest of my day now!
 
2013-03-26 07:59:05 AM  
images2.wikia.nocookie.net

Did he find any princesses?
 
2013-03-26 08:17:57 AM  
Maybe it's just me but  Yen Wor Village sounds like a place where one might expect to find a wizard and being half naked and throwing smoke at the pub wouldn't be out of the norm.
 
2013-03-26 08:54:24 AM  
 
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