If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Salem Statesman-Journal)   The best time to enjoy a Carl's Jr. burger isn't at the wheel of your panel van, because you won't see the steel cable that causes your airbags to deploy, launching you onto the train tracks for an Amtrak to plow into   (statesmanjournal.com) divider line 79
    More: Dumbass, steel cable, Amtrak, train tracks, car accidents, Union Pacific, Salem Police Department  
•       •       •

7842 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Mar 2013 at 4:23 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



79 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-03-25 03:36:57 PM
I'm trying to understand where the cable was strung.
 
2013-03-25 03:48:21 PM
If eating it while driving doesn't get your panel van smeared all over the place, it doesn't belong in your face.
 
2013-03-25 03:52:27 PM
Does someone really enjoy it when they're eating Carl's Jr.?
 
2013-03-25 03:53:01 PM
"Carl's Jr.... without us, some guys would starve still have their van."
 
2013-03-25 03:56:25 PM
There's a cable strung across the road to prevent cars from crossing onto the tracks that's strong enough to deploy a car's airbags when it hits? WTF?
 
2013-03-25 04:17:05 PM
i105.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-25 04:18:57 PM
Pedobear gets his revenge!
 
2013-03-25 04:25:40 PM
Not quite The Aristocrats. Maybe The Proletariat.
 
2013-03-25 04:25:58 PM

BarkingUnicorn: I'm trying to understand where the cable was strung.


agreed, in my next of the woods they use flashing lights and wooden barriers painted to be able to see them
 
2013-03-25 04:26:22 PM
Luckily, Birr said, "he got out fine" before the train collided with the vehicle.

www.biography.com

Soooo close.
 
2013-03-25 04:28:59 PM
streamersworld.com
I found a picture of him at the hospital, where more of this shiat likely happening.
 
2013-03-25 04:29:45 PM
Ta da!
 
2013-03-25 04:29:51 PM
Apparently the crack squad of news reporters over there at The Statesman Journal thought it really important to report the exact brand of burger. Perhaps if it were a different brand, he'd have been less distracted? Or perhaps they report every fact because your typical online reporter has, basically, none.
 
2013-03-25 04:29:53 PM
one customer lost power from 11:49 p.m. to 12:16 a.m., he said.

That's good to know.
 
2013-03-25 04:30:39 PM
Mmmhmmm, this is a tasty burger!
 
2013-03-25 04:31:34 PM
Enjoy your Extra Big-Ass Train
 
2013-03-25 04:32:04 PM

dryknife: Enjoy your Extra Big Ass-Train


/xkcd'd
 
2013-03-25 04:32:17 PM

BarkingUnicorn: I'm trying to understand where the cable was strung.


90 degree corner there according to teh Googles.
Dude shot straight through the corner right onto the tracks.
 
2013-03-25 04:35:27 PM
3.bp.blogspot.com

This is how Kate Upton enjoys a Carl's Jr. burger
 
2013-03-25 04:37:49 PM

offacue: one customer lost power from 11:49 p.m. to 12:16 a.m., he said.

That's good to know.


But which one?! There are so many facts missing from this story!
 
2013-03-25 04:39:48 PM
Farking Carl's Jr again, I should just kill myself...
 
2013-03-25 04:40:37 PM

propasaurus: offacue: one customer lost power from 11:49 p.m. to 12:16 a.m., he said.

That's good to know.

But which one?! There are so many facts missing from this story!


Just old man Peterson down the road and he's an asshole.
 
2013-03-25 04:41:02 PM

Maud Dib: BarkingUnicorn: I'm trying to understand where the cable was strung.

90 degree corner there according to teh Googles.
Dude shot straight through the corner right onto the tracks.


Your comment made me look up the wreck site. The road turned and this guy didn't. Still, amusing that after all of that the guy's truck also gets hit by a train. Too bad a tyrannosaurus in an F-14 didn't crash into the aftermath.
 
2013-03-25 04:41:19 PM
His face looks like airbag hash.
 
2013-03-25 04:42:11 PM

devilEther: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 640x360]

This is how Kate Upton enjoys a Carl's Jr. burger


This thread just got a LOT tastier.
/wait, what? .....

/never had a Carl Jr's
 
2013-03-25 04:42:38 PM
ok then, smart guy, when IS the best time to enjoy a Carl's Jr burger?!?
 
2013-03-25 04:43:20 PM

Heathen: BarkingUnicorn: I'm trying to understand where the cable was strung.

agreed, in my next of the woods they use flashing lights and wooden barriers painted to be able to see them


I'm guessing it's a cable the runs parallel to the road (in lieu of a guardrail) and he swerved into it? No idea. I can't envision any scenario wherein a cable is actually run across a road, railroad tracks notwithstanding. Just seems like a bad idea.

Also, Carl's Jr.
 
2013-03-25 04:43:28 PM
BarkingUnicorn: I'm trying to understand where the cable was strung hung.

Fixed for the fark audience.
 
2013-03-25 04:43:36 PM

BarkingUnicorn: I'm trying to understand where the cable was strung.


Between two supports, but that's not important now.
 
2013-03-25 04:44:03 PM

Why Would I Read the Article: ok then, smart guy, when IS the best time to enjoy a Carl's Jr burger?!?


With Kate Upton I think...
 
2013-03-25 04:44:11 PM
That's a speaker sellin' van.
 
2013-03-25 04:45:05 PM
Why was the burger joint listed?  Did that really add anything to the story?  Is there anyone out there who read this and said "You know, he would not have crashed had that been a Jack in the Box burger.", which is probably true because I've never gotten through a Jack in the Box drive thru in under 20 minutes.
 
2013-03-25 04:45:15 PM
Dump the man into the train. Mousetrap! It's the craziest game you'll ever play!
 
2013-03-25 04:46:01 PM
This thread is brought to you by Carl's Jr.
 
2013-03-25 04:46:42 PM

TheTranceFan: report every fact


No shiat:
* brand of burger
* brand of train
* brand of tracks
* brand of van, also the year
* power outage, to the minute, for one unnamed customer

/This post brought to you by  www.nike.com: Inspiration and Innovation for every athlete in the world.
 
2013-03-25 04:47:35 PM
The Carl Jr brand is part of the Hardee's brand, right? I've refused to patronize or recommend Hardee's ever since its disgusting series of TV commercials amped up the sound effects of people eating.

It would be as if they told me cockroaches were their secret ingredient.

Never again.
 
2013-03-25 04:48:30 PM
Speaking of Kate Upton and burgers, I'm going to go get some In N Out.
 
2013-03-25 04:49:27 PM
cakesdecor.com
 
2013-03-25 04:50:32 PM

violentsalvation: If eating it while driving doesn't get your panel van smeared all over the place, it doesn't belong in your face.


Seriously, though - imagine what his face probably looked like immediately after the airbags deployed, all white powder (from the airbags) and hamburgery goo.
 
2013-03-25 04:53:57 PM
when his vehicle hit a cable meant to prevent drivers from going on railroad tracks Sunday night.

According to Salem Police, Berry was driving eastbound where Boone Road becomes Eastland Avenue in a 2004 GMC van around 10:30 p.m.

Lt. Steve Birr of the Salem Police Department said that the airbags in Berry's van deployed when he hit the cable and caused him further distraction.

The van then got stuck on the Union Pacific railroad tracks as a southbound Amtrak passenger train approached



So... How much did that neat safety feature cost the taxpayers?
 
2013-03-25 04:55:39 PM

Maud Dib: BarkingUnicorn: I'm trying to understand where the cable was strung.

90 degree corner there according to teh Googles.
Dude shot straight through the corner right onto the tracks.


Well, if he cleared the tracks, there was factory building on the other side to stop him.
 
2013-03-25 04:56:21 PM

A Shambling Mound: Heathen: BarkingUnicorn: I'm trying to understand where the cable was strung.

agreed, in my next of the woods they use flashing lights and wooden barriers painted to be able to see them

I'm guessing it's a cable the runs parallel to the road (in lieu of a guardrail) and he swerved into it? No idea. I can't envision any scenario wherein a cable is actually run across a road, railroad tracks notwithstanding. Just seems like a bad idea.

Also, Carl's Jr.


In parts of my world, they are replacing guardrails in highway medians with a retaining cable system.  I wonder if this was the same type of thing.
 
2013-03-25 04:57:24 PM

Fuggin Bizzy: TheTranceFan: report every fact

No shiat:
* brand of burger
* brand of train
* brand of tracks
* brand of van, also the year
* power outage, to the minute, for one unnamed customer

/This post brought to you by  [www.nike.com image 80x80]: Inspiration and Innovation for every athlete in the world.


Not every fact. I want to know if when he bailed from the van, he took the burger with him.
 
2013-03-25 04:58:07 PM
Another hamburger-related tragedy.

I don't care if it's Carl Jr.s or Burger King you're slingin'.  McDonald's, or Wendy's, or In-n-Out, or 5Guys, or Sonic, or Jack-in-the-Box, or WHATEVER the hell you're hooked on, it's all the same in the end - just another beef-ridden road to Hell and the fries are on Satan, my friend. You're all just a bunch of cow-eating sinners before the Lord, chompin' on the Devil's sandwich, for truly the road to Perdition is lined with tasty, salted french fries and a cool, delicious chocolate shake. REPENT!! REPENT the heinous sins of fast food delight; REPENT the ways of your burger-ingesting MADNESS!!!!
 
2013-03-25 05:02:19 PM

Huck And Molly Ziegler: The Carl Jr brand is part of the Hardee's brand, right? I've refused to patronize or recommend Hardee's ever since its disgusting series of TV commercials amped up the sound effects of people eating.

It would be as if they told me cockroaches were their secret ingredient.

Never again.


Other way around. Carl Karcher founded Carl's Jr. in 1941, which evolved into Carl Karcher Enterprises, which is now CKE. Hardee's started in 1960. CKE acquired Hardee's in 1991. Kind of Best Foods vs. Hellmann's... same stuff, same company... one is known in the west, the other in the east.
 
2013-03-25 05:03:54 PM

vudukungfu: when his vehicle hit a cable meant to prevent drivers from going on railroad tracks Sunday night.

According to Salem Police, Berry was driving eastbound where Boone Road becomes Eastland Avenue in a 2004 GMC van around 10:30 p.m.

Lt. Steve Birr of the Salem Police Department said that the airbags in Berry's van deployed when he hit the cable and caused him further distraction.

The van then got stuck on the Union Pacific railroad tracks as a southbound Amtrak passenger train approached


So... How much did that neat safety feature cost the taxpayers?


It's probably so they can't cross the tracks instead of waiting idiot feature not an idiot doing 90 and not aware of the crossing.

Like how a guide rail is not a guard rail like people think. You go fast enough you will run through it.
 
2013-03-25 05:04:17 PM

A Shambling Mound: Heathen: BarkingUnicorn: I'm trying to understand where the cable was strung.

agreed, in my next of the woods they use flashing lights and wooden barriers painted to be able to see them

I'm guessing it's a cable the runs parallel to the road (in lieu of a guardrail) and he swerved into it? No idea. I can't envision any scenario wherein a cable is actually run across a road, railroad tracks notwithstanding. Just seems like a bad idea.

Also, Carl's Jr.


I was curious too. Pretty sure I know what happened here.

i47.tinypic.com
 
2013-03-25 05:05:11 PM

Hector Remarkable: You're all just a bunch of cow-eating sinners before the Lord Vishnu

 
2013-03-25 05:07:22 PM

Oliver Twisted: A Shambling Mound: Heathen: BarkingUnicorn: I'm trying to understand where the cable was strung.

agreed, in my next of the woods they use flashing lights and wooden barriers painted to be able to see them

I'm guessing it's a cable the runs parallel to the road (in lieu of a guardrail) and he swerved into it? No idea. I can't envision any scenario wherein a cable is actually run across a road, railroad tracks notwithstanding. Just seems like a bad idea.

Also, Carl's Jr.

In parts of my world, they are replacing guardrails in highway medians with a retaining cable system.  I wonder if this was the same type of thing.


But if you replace guardrails with a retaining cable, how will you sue the girl who gets pushed off the road by a semi and impales her car on the guardrail which severs her leg for damages? Someone has to pay for that!
 
2013-03-25 05:09:56 PM
An Amtrak?
 
Displayed 50 of 79 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report