If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Salem Statesman-Journal)   The best time to enjoy a Carl's Jr. burger isn't at the wheel of your panel van, because you won't see the steel cable that causes your airbags to deploy, launching you onto the train tracks for an Amtrak to plow into   (statesmanjournal.com) divider line 79
    More: Dumbass, steel cable, Amtrak, train tracks, car accidents, Union Pacific, Salem Police Department  
•       •       •

7864 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Mar 2013 at 4:23 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



79 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-03-25 03:36:57 PM  
I'm trying to understand where the cable was strung.
 
2013-03-25 03:48:21 PM  
If eating it while driving doesn't get your panel van smeared all over the place, it doesn't belong in your face.
 
2013-03-25 03:52:27 PM  
Does someone really enjoy it when they're eating Carl's Jr.?
 
2013-03-25 03:53:01 PM  
"Carl's Jr.... without us, some guys would starve still have their van."
 
2013-03-25 03:56:25 PM  
There's a cable strung across the road to prevent cars from crossing onto the tracks that's strong enough to deploy a car's airbags when it hits? WTF?
 
2013-03-25 04:17:05 PM  
i105.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-25 04:18:57 PM  
Pedobear gets his revenge!
 
2013-03-25 04:25:40 PM  
Not quite The Aristocrats. Maybe The Proletariat.
 
2013-03-25 04:25:58 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: I'm trying to understand where the cable was strung.


agreed, in my next of the woods they use flashing lights and wooden barriers painted to be able to see them
 
2013-03-25 04:26:22 PM  
Luckily, Birr said, "he got out fine" before the train collided with the vehicle.

www.biography.com

Soooo close.
 
2013-03-25 04:28:59 PM  
streamersworld.com
I found a picture of him at the hospital, where more of this shiat likely happening.
 
2013-03-25 04:29:45 PM  
Ta da!
 
2013-03-25 04:29:51 PM  
Apparently the crack squad of news reporters over there at The Statesman Journal thought it really important to report the exact brand of burger. Perhaps if it were a different brand, he'd have been less distracted? Or perhaps they report every fact because your typical online reporter has, basically, none.
 
2013-03-25 04:29:53 PM  
one customer lost power from 11:49 p.m. to 12:16 a.m., he said.

That's good to know.
 
2013-03-25 04:30:39 PM  
Mmmhmmm, this is a tasty burger!
 
2013-03-25 04:31:34 PM  
Enjoy your Extra Big-Ass Train
 
2013-03-25 04:32:04 PM  

dryknife: Enjoy your Extra Big Ass-Train


/xkcd'd
 
2013-03-25 04:32:17 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: I'm trying to understand where the cable was strung.


90 degree corner there according to teh Googles.
Dude shot straight through the corner right onto the tracks.
 
2013-03-25 04:35:27 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com

This is how Kate Upton enjoys a Carl's Jr. burger
 
2013-03-25 04:37:49 PM  

offacue: one customer lost power from 11:49 p.m. to 12:16 a.m., he said.

That's good to know.


But which one?! There are so many facts missing from this story!
 
2013-03-25 04:39:48 PM  
Farking Carl's Jr again, I should just kill myself...
 
2013-03-25 04:40:37 PM  

propasaurus: offacue: one customer lost power from 11:49 p.m. to 12:16 a.m., he said.

That's good to know.

But which one?! There are so many facts missing from this story!


Just old man Peterson down the road and he's an asshole.
 
2013-03-25 04:41:02 PM  

Maud Dib: BarkingUnicorn: I'm trying to understand where the cable was strung.

90 degree corner there according to teh Googles.
Dude shot straight through the corner right onto the tracks.


Your comment made me look up the wreck site. The road turned and this guy didn't. Still, amusing that after all of that the guy's truck also gets hit by a train. Too bad a tyrannosaurus in an F-14 didn't crash into the aftermath.
 
2013-03-25 04:41:19 PM  
His face looks like airbag hash.
 
2013-03-25 04:42:11 PM  

devilEther: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 640x360]

This is how Kate Upton enjoys a Carl's Jr. burger


This thread just got a LOT tastier.
/wait, what? .....

/never had a Carl Jr's
 
2013-03-25 04:42:38 PM  
ok then, smart guy, when IS the best time to enjoy a Carl's Jr burger?!?
 
2013-03-25 04:43:20 PM  

Heathen: BarkingUnicorn: I'm trying to understand where the cable was strung.

agreed, in my next of the woods they use flashing lights and wooden barriers painted to be able to see them


I'm guessing it's a cable the runs parallel to the road (in lieu of a guardrail) and he swerved into it? No idea. I can't envision any scenario wherein a cable is actually run across a road, railroad tracks notwithstanding. Just seems like a bad idea.

Also, Carl's Jr.
 
2013-03-25 04:43:28 PM  
BarkingUnicorn: I'm trying to understand where the cable was strung hung.

Fixed for the fark audience.
 
2013-03-25 04:43:36 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: I'm trying to understand where the cable was strung.


Between two supports, but that's not important now.
 
2013-03-25 04:44:03 PM  

Why Would I Read the Article: ok then, smart guy, when IS the best time to enjoy a Carl's Jr burger?!?


With Kate Upton I think...
 
2013-03-25 04:44:11 PM  
That's a speaker sellin' van.
 
2013-03-25 04:45:05 PM  
Why was the burger joint listed?  Did that really add anything to the story?  Is there anyone out there who read this and said "You know, he would not have crashed had that been a Jack in the Box burger.", which is probably true because I've never gotten through a Jack in the Box drive thru in under 20 minutes.
 
2013-03-25 04:45:15 PM  
Dump the man into the train. Mousetrap! It's the craziest game you'll ever play!
 
2013-03-25 04:46:01 PM  
This thread is brought to you by Carl's Jr.
 
2013-03-25 04:46:42 PM  

TheTranceFan: report every fact


No shiat:
* brand of burger
* brand of train
* brand of tracks
* brand of van, also the year
* power outage, to the minute, for one unnamed customer

/This post brought to you by  www.nike.com: Inspiration and Innovation for every athlete in the world.
 
2013-03-25 04:47:35 PM  
The Carl Jr brand is part of the Hardee's brand, right? I've refused to patronize or recommend Hardee's ever since its disgusting series of TV commercials amped up the sound effects of people eating.

It would be as if they told me cockroaches were their secret ingredient.

Never again.
 
2013-03-25 04:48:30 PM  
Speaking of Kate Upton and burgers, I'm going to go get some In N Out.
 
2013-03-25 04:49:27 PM  
cakesdecor.com
 
2013-03-25 04:50:32 PM  

violentsalvation: If eating it while driving doesn't get your panel van smeared all over the place, it doesn't belong in your face.


Seriously, though - imagine what his face probably looked like immediately after the airbags deployed, all white powder (from the airbags) and hamburgery goo.
 
2013-03-25 04:53:57 PM  
when his vehicle hit a cable meant to prevent drivers from going on railroad tracks Sunday night.

According to Salem Police, Berry was driving eastbound where Boone Road becomes Eastland Avenue in a 2004 GMC van around 10:30 p.m.

Lt. Steve Birr of the Salem Police Department said that the airbags in Berry's van deployed when he hit the cable and caused him further distraction.

The van then got stuck on the Union Pacific railroad tracks as a southbound Amtrak passenger train approached



So... How much did that neat safety feature cost the taxpayers?
 
2013-03-25 04:55:39 PM  

Maud Dib: BarkingUnicorn: I'm trying to understand where the cable was strung.

90 degree corner there according to teh Googles.
Dude shot straight through the corner right onto the tracks.


Well, if he cleared the tracks, there was factory building on the other side to stop him.
 
2013-03-25 04:56:21 PM  

A Shambling Mound: Heathen: BarkingUnicorn: I'm trying to understand where the cable was strung.

agreed, in my next of the woods they use flashing lights and wooden barriers painted to be able to see them

I'm guessing it's a cable the runs parallel to the road (in lieu of a guardrail) and he swerved into it? No idea. I can't envision any scenario wherein a cable is actually run across a road, railroad tracks notwithstanding. Just seems like a bad idea.

Also, Carl's Jr.


In parts of my world, they are replacing guardrails in highway medians with a retaining cable system.  I wonder if this was the same type of thing.
 
2013-03-25 04:57:24 PM  

Fuggin Bizzy: TheTranceFan: report every fact

No shiat:
* brand of burger
* brand of train
* brand of tracks
* brand of van, also the year
* power outage, to the minute, for one unnamed customer

/This post brought to you by  [www.nike.com image 80x80]: Inspiration and Innovation for every athlete in the world.


Not every fact. I want to know if when he bailed from the van, he took the burger with him.
 
2013-03-25 04:58:07 PM  
Another hamburger-related tragedy.

I don't care if it's Carl Jr.s or Burger King you're slingin'.  McDonald's, or Wendy's, or In-n-Out, or 5Guys, or Sonic, or Jack-in-the-Box, or WHATEVER the hell you're hooked on, it's all the same in the end - just another beef-ridden road to Hell and the fries are on Satan, my friend. You're all just a bunch of cow-eating sinners before the Lord, chompin' on the Devil's sandwich, for truly the road to Perdition is lined with tasty, salted french fries and a cool, delicious chocolate shake. REPENT!! REPENT the heinous sins of fast food delight; REPENT the ways of your burger-ingesting MADNESS!!!!
 
2013-03-25 05:02:19 PM  

Huck And Molly Ziegler: The Carl Jr brand is part of the Hardee's brand, right? I've refused to patronize or recommend Hardee's ever since its disgusting series of TV commercials amped up the sound effects of people eating.

It would be as if they told me cockroaches were their secret ingredient.

Never again.


Other way around. Carl Karcher founded Carl's Jr. in 1941, which evolved into Carl Karcher Enterprises, which is now CKE. Hardee's started in 1960. CKE acquired Hardee's in 1991. Kind of Best Foods vs. Hellmann's... same stuff, same company... one is known in the west, the other in the east.
 
2013-03-25 05:03:54 PM  

vudukungfu: when his vehicle hit a cable meant to prevent drivers from going on railroad tracks Sunday night.

According to Salem Police, Berry was driving eastbound where Boone Road becomes Eastland Avenue in a 2004 GMC van around 10:30 p.m.

Lt. Steve Birr of the Salem Police Department said that the airbags in Berry's van deployed when he hit the cable and caused him further distraction.

The van then got stuck on the Union Pacific railroad tracks as a southbound Amtrak passenger train approached


So... How much did that neat safety feature cost the taxpayers?


It's probably so they can't cross the tracks instead of waiting idiot feature not an idiot doing 90 and not aware of the crossing.

Like how a guide rail is not a guard rail like people think. You go fast enough you will run through it.
 
2013-03-25 05:04:17 PM  

A Shambling Mound: Heathen: BarkingUnicorn: I'm trying to understand where the cable was strung.

agreed, in my next of the woods they use flashing lights and wooden barriers painted to be able to see them

I'm guessing it's a cable the runs parallel to the road (in lieu of a guardrail) and he swerved into it? No idea. I can't envision any scenario wherein a cable is actually run across a road, railroad tracks notwithstanding. Just seems like a bad idea.

Also, Carl's Jr.


I was curious too. Pretty sure I know what happened here.

i47.tinypic.com
 
2013-03-25 05:05:11 PM  

Hector Remarkable: You're all just a bunch of cow-eating sinners before the Lord Vishnu

 
2013-03-25 05:07:22 PM  

Oliver Twisted: A Shambling Mound: Heathen: BarkingUnicorn: I'm trying to understand where the cable was strung.

agreed, in my next of the woods they use flashing lights and wooden barriers painted to be able to see them

I'm guessing it's a cable the runs parallel to the road (in lieu of a guardrail) and he swerved into it? No idea. I can't envision any scenario wherein a cable is actually run across a road, railroad tracks notwithstanding. Just seems like a bad idea.

Also, Carl's Jr.

In parts of my world, they are replacing guardrails in highway medians with a retaining cable system.  I wonder if this was the same type of thing.


But if you replace guardrails with a retaining cable, how will you sue the girl who gets pushed off the road by a semi and impales her car on the guardrail which severs her leg for damages? Someone has to pay for that!
 
2013-03-25 05:09:56 PM  
An Amtrak?
 
2013-03-25 05:11:07 PM  
i294.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-25 05:12:06 PM  

Why Would I Read the Article: ok then, smart guy, when IS the best time to enjoy a Carl's Jr burger?!?


When you're drunk of course.
 
2013-03-25 05:18:01 PM  

albuquerquehalsey: [i294.photobucket.com image 468x683]


That made me laugh far more than it should have.
 
2013-03-25 05:22:49 PM  

RatOmeter: violentsalvation: If eating it while driving doesn't get your panel van smeared all over the place, it doesn't belong in your face.

Seriously, though - imagine what his face probably looked like immediately after the airbags deployed, all white powder (from the airbags) and hamburgery goo.


Force-feeding someone who's mid-chomp on a burger with a surprise airbag is something Johnny Knoxville might do in the next Jackass film.
 
2013-03-25 05:38:43 PM  

violentsalvation: Force-feeding someone who's mid-chomp on a burger with a surprise airbag is something Johnny Knoxville might do in the next Jackass film.


"high five!"
 
2013-03-25 05:43:55 PM  

question_dj: Does someone really enjoy it when they're eating Carl's Jr.?


If Carl's Jr. doesn't offer that man a whole lot of money for the right to his story they are a load of retards.

Carl's Jr. "We don't recommended you die for our burgers...but we understand why you'd want to."

or something along those lines.
 
2013-03-25 06:05:35 PM  
That's going to be one very expensive hamburger.
 
2013-03-25 06:10:44 PM  
I could really go for a Starbucks, you know
 
2013-03-25 06:29:36 PM  

vudukungfu: So... How much did that neat safety feature cost the taxpayers?


Likely nothing, as CSX owns the tracks and is responsible for safety features.
 
2013-03-25 06:47:08 PM  
Obviously one of those male drivers with superior spatial and motor skills.
 
2013-03-25 06:48:08 PM  

question_dj: Does someone really enjoy it when they're eating Carl's Jr.?


this
 
2013-03-25 06:49:02 PM  

ProfessorOhki: A Shambling Mound: Heathen: BarkingUnicorn: I'm trying to understand where the cable was strung.

agreed, in my next of the woods they use flashing lights and wooden barriers painted to be able to see them

I'm guessing it's a cable the runs parallel to the road (in lieu of a guardrail) and he swerved into it? No idea. I can't envision any scenario wherein a cable is actually run across a road, railroad tracks notwithstanding. Just seems like a bad idea.

Also, Carl's Jr.

I was curious too. Pretty sure I know what happened here.


i47.tinypic.com

Um.... so let's see.... instead of, say, properly marking the curve with a big yellow sign with a black arrow (and the appropriate warning signs ahead of it), somebody thought it would be a better idea just to string a clotheslining steel cable across the roadway to prevent access to the continuation of the road (saves expense of a proper crossing or signage)... and the cable isn't even strong enough as a barrier to prevent the van from ending up on the tracks, anyway?

Wow... Carls' Jr aside, this guy might have hit the lottery with a tidy lawsuit against CSX.

I've seen them pay out millions because of idiots that go around marked, flashing crossing barriers. I don't see why this guy can't get an even better payout for this nonsense.
 
2013-03-25 06:49:32 PM  
...with a helpful photo of what a hamburger might look like...
 
2013-03-25 06:52:07 PM  
whoever put up that cable is liable, if it doesn't have very noticeable flags or something on it, to make it visible. the guy is lucky it didn't come through and cut his head off. this almost happened to my dad once, in the 70's. original land rover, top off, doors off, windshield down, tearing down dirt roads.. .. the only thing that saved him was when the cable hit the spare tire, mounted on the hood. the tire flew over his head. he hit the brakes and the cable was neck high, inches in front of him. the police and land owner came to an agreement that he would pay the damages to the vehicle, put visible markers on any cables, and there would be no further troubles.
 
2013-03-25 06:54:37 PM  

LesserEvil: Um.... so let's see.... instead of, say, properly marking the curve with a big yellow sign with a black arrow (and the appropriate warning signs ahead of it), somebody thought it would be a better idea just to string a clotheslining steel cable across the roadway to prevent access to the continuation of the road (saves expense of a proper crossing or signage)... and the cable isn't even strong enough as a barrier to prevent the van from ending up on the tracks, anyway?


Not only that, there's a nice clear cut out in the bushes which makes it appear that the road continues straight. If it's mid-day and you're paying attention it's obvious there's a turn. But yeah, I can see where a distracted driver in poor visibility or darkness might just plow straight ahead there. Accident just waiting to happen....
 
2013-03-25 07:02:56 PM  
Carls Jr Western Bacon Cheeseburger with crisscut fries if you're drunk.  Double WBC if drunk and stoned.  Toss out the onion rings, and replace with cc fries and taste heaven.  Too bad they're not open 24 hrs.
 
2013-03-25 07:10:26 PM  
Railroad police?

Are they affiliated with the phone cops?
 
2013-03-25 07:21:30 PM  
Looks like a service access to me. I can see a cable-type gate being used there.
 
2013-03-25 07:35:25 PM  

LesserEvil: Um.... so let's see.... instead of, say, properly marking the curve with a big yellow sign with a black arrow (and the appropriate warning signs ahead of it), somebody thought it would be a better idea just to string a clotheslining steel cable across the roadway to prevent access to the continuation of the road (saves expense of a proper crossing or signage)... and the cable isn't even strong enough as a barrier to prevent the van from ending up on the tracks, anyway?

Wow... Carls' Jr aside, this guy might have hit the lottery with a tidy lawsuit against CSX.

I've seen them pay out millions because of idiots that go around marked, flashing crossing barriers. I don't see why this guy can't get an even better payout for this nonsense.


I am not sure what you are really seeing.  I agree that the turn in the road isn't well marked, but the tracks doesn't not involve a continuation of the road.  There is no crossing there and the cable is at 60 degrees going up the utility pole.  CSX isn't to blame for anything, but the state or local government is for not putting up more of a barrier keeping traffic from reaching the tracks altogether.  I do agree he deserves a ticket since he LEFT the roadway.

This isn't any different than Branch Rd in Flint, which I live near.  Branch does the same thing Boone rd does by stopping and traffic follows a curve to go around an obstacle and the picks up on the other side of that obstacle.  In the case with Branch it is Kearsley Lake and right now(no leaves on trees) I can see straight across to the Branch and Richfield intersection before going slightly down hill and turning right following the road.  It would be my fault if I go straight and find myself swimming for my life.  Although unlike Boone Rd, Branch is much better marked and has a guard rail.  Whether or not the local road commission will have to pay this guy is up to the courts, but I wouldn't blame CSX anymore than I would blame the lake the time a girl put her red sports car in it.  She went over the guard rail.
 
2013-03-25 07:38:45 PM  

cretinbob: An Amtrak?


Yes. When reporting on a vibrating object, you never call it "his Amtrak".
 
2013-03-25 07:40:12 PM  
worlddan: 

If Carl's Jr. doesn't offer that man a whole lot of money for the right to his story they are a load of retards.


You +1'd this publicly.  UndoThere are plenty of 'tards out there living really kick-ass lives.
 
m00
2013-03-25 07:40:21 PM  
I love the reference picture of what a carl jr's hamburger looks like.
 
2013-03-25 07:41:31 PM  

Beerbarian: Railroad police?

Are they affiliated with the phone cops?


Nope. They're real
 
2013-03-25 07:46:29 PM  

Huck And Molly Ziegler: The Carl Jr brand is part of the Hardee's brand, right? I've refused to patronize or recommend Hardee's ever since its disgusting series of TV commercials amped up the sound effects of people eating.

It would be as if they told me cockroaches were their secret ingredient.

Never again.


Hardees/Carl's Jr doesn't sell food, it sells sex.

/Which is why it tastes like the cook jizzed in your burger.
 
2013-03-25 07:54:30 PM  

LesserEvil: Um.... so let's see.... instead of, say, properly marking the curve with a big yellow sign with a black arrow (and the appropriate warning signs ahead of it), somebody thought it would be a better idea just to string a clotheslining steel cable across the roadway to prevent access to the continuation of the road (saves expense of a proper crossing or signage)... and the cable isn't even strong enough as a barrier to prevent the van from ending up on the tracks, anyway?


It looks like that might be a railroad access road, actually, judging from the tracks on the dirt. Or a late-night makeout spot. (Because locomotives roaring next to you is so sexy.)
 
2013-03-25 08:01:41 PM  

lack of warmth: LesserEvil: Um.... so let's see.... instead of, say, properly marking the curve with a big yellow sign with a black arrow (and the appropriate warning signs ahead of it), somebody thought it would be a better idea just to string a clotheslining steel cable across the roadway to prevent access to the continuation of the road (saves expense of a proper crossing or signage)... and the cable isn't even strong enough as a barrier to prevent the van from ending up on the tracks, anyway?

Wow... Carls' Jr aside, this guy might have hit the lottery with a tidy lawsuit against CSX.

I've seen them pay out millions because of idiots that go around marked, flashing crossing barriers. I don't see why this guy can't get an even better payout for this nonsense.

I am not sure what you are really seeing.  I agree that the turn in the road isn't well marked, but the tracks doesn't not involve a continuation of the road.  There is no crossing there and the cable is at 60 degrees going up the utility pole.  CSX isn't to blame for anything, but the state or local government is for not putting up more of a barrier keeping traffic from reaching the tracks altogether.  I do agree he deserves a ticket since he LEFT the roadway.

This isn't any different than Branch Rd in Flint, which I live near.  Branch does the same thing Boone rd does by stopping and traffic follows a curve to go around an obstacle and the picks up on the other side of that obstacle.  In the case with Branch it is Kearsley Lake and right now(no leaves on trees) I can see straight across to the Branch and Richfield intersection before going slightly down hill and turning right following the road.  It would be my fault if I go straight and find myself swimming for my life.  Although unlike Boone Rd, Branch is much better marked and has a guard rail.  Whether or not the local road commission will have to pay this guy is up to the courts, but I wouldn't blame CSX anymore than I would blame the lake the time a girl put her ...


Ah, fellow a Flintoid.

If you look at the map and the picture, it is clear the road used to continue straight through. If I had to guess, the railroad didn't want to maintain a crossing a few decades ago (or it was a simple sign with no lights) and closed access to it after an accident or two. This happens... I'm in Fenton, and when a crossing here in town was the subject of a nasty accident about 13 or 14 years ago, the railroad decided just to close it, instead of putting up a proper full crossing (I suspect in trade for the town's future development plans that resulted in a lot of work for the railroad). Of course, it is properly barricaded and there is no possibility of a vehicle crossing there.

I'm not sure what the point is about Branch... unlike the picture above, you certainly can't see a continuation of the road at the end of Branch... heading south, there are yellow/black arrow signs marking the curve, and heading north, there is a pretty clearly marked "Road Ends" sign with a reflective Red sign, too.

On a second look at the picture of Boone rd, I do see an arrow sign, but geeze... it's presented more than halfway through the curve on the RIGHT of the gap. I've traveled on a LOT of country roads that have paving curving away, but the actual road runs straight into gravel. It's not a stretch that the guy thought (perhaps rightfully) Boone Rd was just dropping to gravel at that point.

In any event, it is still poorly marked. Why isn't there a proper barricade? I'm guessing people have used that crossing as a shortcut for years, and CSX just didn't want to spend the money to block it off properly, same as not wanting to spend money to put in a proper crossing. In the end, it was cheaper to throw a few thousand at a local township board member.
 
2013-03-25 10:52:44 PM  
I'm glad they included a picture of what a hamburger looks like.
 
2013-03-26 01:51:27 AM  
If he had eaten at Sonic he would have been fine.

/Salem joke.
 
2013-03-26 09:42:46 AM  
If he'd had a Carlsberg instead of a Carl's burger, he would have been fine.
 
Displayed 79 of 79 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report