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(FilmDrunk)   The ShamWow Guy's movie set inside Lindsay Lohan's vagina earned $625 per theater. That is a real sentence   (filmdrunk.uproxx.com) divider line 56
    More: Followup, Lindsay Lohan, Shamwow, Adrien Brody, Michelle Rodriguez, theaters, Paul Giamatti, dual role, sketch comedy  
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7891 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 25 Mar 2013 at 12:44 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-25 12:32:39 PM
Adrien Brody is playing a character named Flirty Harry, a parody of Dirty Harry. He just said, "Go ahead, make me gay." I am not making this up.

Awww jeez Brody, what happened? Did he have some horrible blackmail on you? Did you also beat up a hooker?
 
2013-03-25 12:49:11 PM
"1:05 p.m. A man just let a mouse eat cheese off of his penis.
1:06 p.m. That same man just got his penis caught in a mousetrap."

That part has some potential.
 
2013-03-25 12:53:17 PM
markamerica65.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-03-25 01:01:10 PM
I would rather have had a factual re-telling of how Vince Offer got his ass handed to him by a hooker.

Probably would be FAR more entertaining.
 
2013-03-25 01:02:32 PM
my friend and i watched his first movie (we like bad movies).
it was just...pathetic.  i mean really, it was just a piece of garbage.
 
2013-03-25 01:03:35 PM

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: "1:05 p.m. A man just let a mouse eat cheese off of his penis.
1:06 p.m. That same man just got his penis caught in a mousetrap."

That part has some potential.


...Dad?
 
2013-03-25 01:04:07 PM
I think his career peaked selling and is now on the long down slide.
 
2013-03-25 01:04:19 PM
I was told that I would love his nuts.
 
2013-03-25 01:07:22 PM

Lurk sober post drunk: my friend and i watched his first movie (we like bad movies).
it was just...pathetic.  i mean really, it was just a piece of garbage.


I remember trying to watch "Underground Comedy movie" some years after getting some mild chuckles from the tv infomercials and got about 5 mins in and said "No f-ing way". Its only redeeming value is some of the bar's I visit down here in Austin always have "What the fark" type movies playing on the TV on mute. Both said movies would be great in that context.
 
2013-03-25 01:10:36 PM

scottydoesntknow: Adrien Brody is playing a character named Flirty Harry, a parody of Dirty Harry. He just said, "Go ahead, make me gay." I am not making this up.

Awww jeez Brody, what happened? Did he have some horrible blackmail on you? Did you also beat up a hooker?


Well you have to admit that it was a pretty edgy concept when it was  pioneered by "The Greaseman", the radio shock-jock who replaced Howard Stern in DC after he was fired in the EARLY 80's
 
2013-03-25 01:10:42 PM
Like a prison sentence?
 
2013-03-25 01:12:40 PM
Adrien Brody is American?

Damn, I thought he was British/irish, as in "I'll act in ANYTHING."
 
2013-03-25 01:14:01 PM

Strategeryz0r: I would rather have had a factual re-telling of how Vince Offer got his ass handed to him by a hooker.

Probably would be FAR more entertaining.


Just a scene of a hooker biting down on a guy's tongue and not letting go and said guy punching her repeatedly would be worth the price of admission.
 
2013-03-25 01:15:31 PM

Rapmaster2000: I was told that I would love his nuts.


Damnation....again, too late.

/shakes tiny fist
 
2013-03-25 01:16:06 PM
I read the article and I still don't know what the headline means.

Strategeryz0r: I would rather have had a factual re-telling of how Vince Offer got his ass handed to him by a hooker.

Probably would be FAR more entertaining.


THIS would be entertaining. Perhaps a sketch comedy about women beating men. We would have to write a sketch scene with Tawney and Chuck Finley.
 
2013-03-25 01:17:51 PM

scottydoesntknow: Adrien Brody is playing a character named Flirty Harry, a parody of Dirty Harry. He just said, "Go ahead, make me gay." I am not making this up.

Awww jeez Brody, what happened? Did he have some horrible blackmail on you? Did you also beat up a hooker?


Tina Fey mentioned on her Stern appearance that when Brody hosted SNL he had lots of "funny" ideas he wanted to do that were terrible. He apparently was upset that professional comedy writers used none of his concepts.

This was the same episode where he put on a dreadlock wig to introduce Sean Paul and talked in a Jamaican accent. Supposedly, he was banned for this from ever hosting again.

TL;DR: Brody thinks he's funny.
 
2013-03-25 01:19:55 PM
Brody deserves to be set adrift in an ocean of cockpunches just for the "Masters of Style" commercials alone.
 
2013-03-25 01:30:55 PM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: ...deserves to be set adrift in an ocean of cockpunches...


Your chapbook of poetry, I wish to subscribe to it.
 
2013-03-25 01:51:36 PM
I thought Brody was still in stasis with the rest of Destiny's crew.
 
2013-03-25 01:53:56 PM
I hear Warner Bros. is thinking of moving a few sound stages down there.

Plenty of room and great acrostics.
 
2013-03-25 01:54:33 PM

nmemkha: acrostics


acoustics
 
2013-03-25 01:58:34 PM
They only released in to theaters so it would be eligible for Oscars. Otherwise, it would have went straight to DVD and streaming.

I look forward to seeing it now that the hoity toity crowd has whined about it.

firing up Deuce Bigalow on the PS3
 
2013-03-25 02:00:29 PM
so his movies are getting better?
 
2013-03-25 02:00:47 PM

Dr.Zom: scottydoesntknow: Adrien Brody is playing a character named Flirty Harry, a parody of Dirty Harry. He just said, "Go ahead, make me gay." I am not making this up.

Awww jeez Brody, what happened? Did he have some horrible blackmail on you? Did you also beat up a hooker?

Tina Fey mentioned on her Stern appearance that when Brody hosted SNL he had lots of "funny" ideas he wanted to do that were terrible. He apparently was upset that professional comedy writers used none of his concepts.

This was the same episode where he put on a dreadlock wig to introduce Sean Paul and talked in a Jamaican accent. Supposedly, he was banned for this from ever hosting again.

TL;DR: Brody thinks he's funny.


Jesus.  You would think by now he would have learned to just STFU and keep making Oscar bait.
 
2013-03-25 02:03:56 PM
Everything I've read here and in the article seems as though this can't be true.  Doesn't it take money to record movie scenes?  Who is paying to preserve this on video?  April fools day isn't for a week or so.
 
2013-03-25 02:06:29 PM
This thing made $625 per theater? I'm actually impressed. No seriously, that's about $614 more than I would have reasonably expected. Well done, Vince, you give hope to us all.
 
2013-03-25 02:06:51 PM
The Producers

At least 450 names are in the IMDB cast list, and surely some of those people got paychecks out of this. So it's not all bad. It's not like the Net 60 terms Vince normally operated under to finance getting shipments of product.
 
2013-03-25 02:07:42 PM

barneyfifesbullet: They only released in to theaters so it would be eligible for Oscars. Otherwise, it would have went straight to DVD and streaming.

I look forward to seeing it now that the hoity toity crowd has whined about it.


This, ladies and gentlemen, is what I refer to as a "stupid tax".
 
2013-03-25 02:08:40 PM
It will take off when released to DVD.  Three years from now we'll all appreciate it as a cult-classic.

/no.
//not really.
 
2013-03-25 02:11:32 PM
Just watched the trailer, gonna need a whole lotta weed to watch this shiat.
 
2013-03-25 02:18:56 PM
From what I've heard, the reason the movie stinks so badly is because it actually WAS filmed in Lindsay Lohans vagina.

As such, the echo must have been hell on the sound man.
 
2013-03-25 02:33:02 PM

phed: Just watched the trailer, gonna need a whole lotta weed to watch this shiat.


Unfortunately, the level of weed one must ingest to render this shiat watchable is far in excess of the amount one can consume in one sitting.
 
2013-03-25 02:39:49 PM
even rob schneider seemed embarrassed to promote this. saw him on sportsnation. he said "Lindsay wanted to romote this but she's under house arrest. I didnt know that was an option."
 
2013-03-25 02:49:35 PM
I'm sure Brody was just thinking of the residuals when doing Lohan's Vagina.

Then again, who wouldn't?
 
2013-03-25 02:57:22 PM
Just watched the trailer here and I am pretty impressed. Quite possibly a sleeper, with a huge box office and, dare I say, a nomination or two in the future?
 
2013-03-25 02:57:40 PM
I laughed more at this thread more than I would probably laugh during this whole movie.
 
2013-03-25 03:04:24 PM
Sounds even worse than Movie 43.

I didn't think that was possible.
 
2013-03-25 03:11:09 PM

garandman1a: From what I've heard, the reason the movie stinks so badly is because it actually WAS filmed in Lindsay Lohans vagina.

As such, the echo must have been hell on the sound man.


PLease explain this "Lindsay Lohan has a huge vagina/is a slut/has every STD known to man." shiat. I don't get it. She drinks a lot, but I don't remember a lot of sex stories about her. The biggest ting I can come up with is that she likes to go commando, and every jackass with a camera wanted to take a picture of her snatch. Why, exactly, does that make her some kind of slut? I don't have a dog in this race in any way, I just don't understand why she's instantly a slut with a giant vag...
 
2013-03-25 03:14:00 PM
Mikey1969:
PLease explain this "Lindsay Lohan has a huge vagina/is a slut/has every STD known to man." shiat. I don't get it. She drinks a lot, but I don't remember a lot of sex stories about her. The biggest ting I can come up with is that she likes to go commando, and every jackass with a camera wanted to take a picture of her snatch. Why, exactly, does that make her some kind of slut? I don't have a dog in this race in any way, I just don't understand why she's instantly a slut with a giant vag...

I think it's just assumed that since she's irresponsible in virtually every other way available to her, she's probably not too careful in that area of her life either.
 
2013-03-25 03:22:47 PM

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: "1:05 p.m. A man just let a mouse eat cheese off of his penis.
1:06 p.m. That same man just got his penis caught in a mousetrap."

That part has some potential.


i.qkme.me
 
2013-03-25 03:23:13 PM

Mikey1969: garandman1a: From what I've heard, the reason the movie stinks so badly is because it actually WAS filmed in Lindsay Lohans vagina.

As such, the echo must have been hell on the sound man.

PLease explain this "Lindsay Lohan has a huge vagina/is a slut/has every STD known to man." shiat. I don't get it. She drinks a lot, but I don't remember a lot of sex stories about her. The biggest ting I can come up with is that she likes to go commando, and every jackass with a camera wanted to take a picture of her snatch. Why, exactly, does that make her some kind of slut? I don't have a dog in this race in any way, I just don't understand why she's instantly a slut with a giant vag...



If I have to explain FARK to you at this point white knighter, well I guess all I can say is get the sand out of your vagina and lighten up Francis.
 
2013-03-25 03:23:54 PM

gunga galunga: Sounds even worse than Movie 43.

I didn't think that was possible.


Movie 43 at least had a star-studded (albeit embarrassed) cast behind it. This has Adrien Brody, the butch chick from Fast & Furious movies, and the Shamwow guy who directed it.
 
2013-03-25 03:34:12 PM
What I don't understand is why these sketch comedy movies continue to get released. I know they're cheap, but they get miserable returns.

Only a handful have ever become cult classics (Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy and UCB's ASSSSSCAT among them), and even fewer have ever done very well commercially.

Kentucky Fried Movie, Amazon Women on the Moon, Monty Python's The Meaning of Life, Everything you Always Wanted to Know About Sex...are the only good ones I can think of, and all of them are flawed. I don't think anyone would argue that those films are as good as the narrative-driven comedies from the same creators.

/I am among those shocked that any film could be worse than the dreck Movie 43 appeared to be,
 
2013-03-25 03:36:13 PM
I'm not believing anyone actually paid to see this. Must be Rob Schneider fans. He truly does have singles and singles of them.
 
2013-03-25 03:36:21 PM

garandman1a: If I have to explain FARK to you at this point white knighter, well I guess all I can say is get the sand out of your vagina and lighten up Francis.


LOL, there's plenty of documented shiat to make fun of her for, this one just annoys me because I haven't seen anything except pervy paparazzi.
 
2013-03-25 03:37:27 PM

Thats_right_ALL_the_tea: Mikey1969:
PLease explain this "Lindsay Lohan has a huge vagina/is a slut/has every STD known to man." shiat. I don't get it. She drinks a lot, but I don't remember a lot of sex stories about her. The biggest ting I can come up with is that she likes to go commando, and every jackass with a camera wanted to take a picture of her snatch. Why, exactly, does that make her some kind of slut? I don't have a dog in this race in any way, I just don't understand why she's instantly a slut with a giant vag...

I think it's just assumed that since she's irresponsible in virtually every other way available to her, she's probably not too careful in that area of her life either.


It's sad, really, after Mean Girls and Freaky Friday, I thought the girl had potential. Then the paychecks got cashed, I guess...
 
2013-03-25 03:39:53 PM

ParagonComplex: I'm not believing anyone actually paid to see this. Must be Rob Schneider fans. He truly does have singles and singles of them.


Rob Schneider is like Gilbert Gottfried, he's pretty good in the RIGHT comedy role. Deuce Bigelow(The original movie, not the turd they called a sequel) was funny. He was funny in 50 First Dates, but it has to be the exact right role, and there actually has to be a movie behind it, movies can't roll solely based on the fact that he's in them.
 
2013-03-25 03:50:30 PM
cdn.uproxx.com
 
2013-03-25 03:53:59 PM
I think someone on Fark posted that this movie cost $170,000 to make.

FTA:  earning $172,000 in its first weekend of release


It may be garbage, but he's going to make a profit of it.
 
2013-03-25 03:56:55 PM
I heard no one could understand the soundtrack because of the echoes
 
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