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(NJ.com)   Man reminisces about Cheech and Chong's "Up in Smoke" while at traffic light to the amazement of the cop watching him   (nj.com) divider line 20
    More: Dumbass, Sparta, Chong, Cheech, Christopher Beyel, Ogdensburg police Officer Christopher Green, shoestring catch, Honda Civic, Sparta police  
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11940 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Mar 2013 at 2:15 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-03-25 03:17:11 PM  
3 votes:
Man, I need to go to one of those Fark events so I can meet some of you people. Farkers have the best of EVERYTHING and their discriminating taste WILL NOT ALLOW them to compromise. Just name a topic:

Beer: The only one they drink comes from the microbrewery that is owned by the brother of a good friend. Its poured over the vagina of an Asian gymnast just before it's bottled for a crisp, clean taste that you just don't get with "regular" beers. Yuengling? FARK NO. They wouldn't be caught dead drinking that piss water.

Weed: Whatever they smoke, I'll tell you where its NOT grown...Mexico. Farkers grow their own exotic plants and its the only stuff that they smoke. It doesn't matter how you smoke your weed, you're doing it wrong. The papers they smoke are better than yours. The bong is bigger and has more arms than yours. Etc.

Guns: They've all got machine guns that military personnel crave. Each Farker is an army of one. However, they never mention their guns straight-on. It's always part of a back0handed compliment to themselves. "That guy in the article killed the kids with a shotgun so now they want to regulate them? I have four sawed-off shotguns, two AR15s and a box of grenades but I'm not going to hurt any kids. Why do I have to go through a background check?"


/I need to party with y'all.
2013-03-25 02:54:50 PM  
2 votes:
I saw something like that once. I-20 headed West near Arlington, TX. Huge jam in the right lane. Traffic is going full speed except that lane. I finally get out of the lane and look at the delay and there's a car full of bros smoking out of the biggest bong I'd ever seen while driving about 15mph in the right lane.
2013-03-25 02:30:35 PM  
2 votes:
Officer: Sir, could I please see your license?
Pedro: Whuuut?
Officer: Your license. Sir, where's your license?
Pedro: Isn't it back there on the bumper, man?
2013-03-25 04:43:56 PM  
1 votes:
I get high at NIGHT, when I get through with all my business.

img.tgdaily.net
2013-03-25 04:22:29 PM  
1 votes:
SixPaperJoint:

encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com

First thing I thought of after seeing your name.
2013-03-25 03:54:38 PM  
1 votes:

JohnnyCanuck: You put your WEED in there!


24.media.tumblr.com
2013-03-25 03:38:27 PM  
1 votes:
karmaceutical:
Well, okay, but only if my super-model wife gives her approval

Lol. Funny thing is, on the whole, people are pretty honest about their romantic lives/ wives/ girlfriends. Farkers will tell you in a minute that they're depressed and lonely, just not in those words. They express it through misogyny and crude humor about where the psnis goes and what the woman's place is. The ones in relationships don't really exagerrate how beautiful their significant others are. They may exagerrate their position in the relationship though. Like the guy who acts like his wife celebrates steak and BJ day when in reality he can't get a dry hand job on his birthday.
2013-03-25 03:29:49 PM  
1 votes:
I wouldn't date your daughter if she had ten tits!
2013-03-25 03:23:04 PM  
1 votes:

DROxINxTHExWIND: Man, I need to go to one of those Fark events so I can meet some of you people. Farkers have the best of EVERYTHING and their discriminating taste WILL NOT ALLOW them to compromise. Just name a topic:

Beer: The only one they drink comes from the microbrewery that is owned by the brother of a good friend. Its poured over the vagina of an Asian gymnast just before it's bottled for a crisp, clean taste that you just don't get with "regular" beers. Yuengling? FARK NO. They wouldn't be caught dead drinking that piss water.

Weed: Whatever they smoke, I'll tell you where its NOT grown...Mexico. Farkers grow their own exotic plants and its the only stuff that they smoke. It doesn't matter how you smoke your weed, you're doing it wrong. The papers they smoke are better than yours. The bong is bigger and has more arms than yours. Etc.

Guns: They've all got machine guns that military personnel crave. Each Farker is an army of one. However, they never mention their guns straight-on. It's always part of a back0handed compliment to themselves. "That guy in the article killed the kids with a shotgun so now they want to regulate them? I have four sawed-off shotguns, two AR15s and a box of grenades but I'm not going to hurt any kids. Why do I have to go through a background check?"


/I need to party with y'all.


Well, okay, but only if my super-model wife gives her approval
2013-03-25 03:00:30 PM  
1 votes:

neongoats: karmaceutical: neongoats: rkiller1: Okay, could someone younger and more hip tell me that this is used for: "...a metallic grinder with marijuana residue..."
/I don't recall such devices at Woodstock.

It's a mostly useless device. They are for grinding up rock hard mexican piss weed. But mostly I think people that like to flaunt their smoking collect useless crap like that.

I used to know a dude (kind of like Strawberry, I guess) who would take his whole sack and dump it in a little blender to grind up, stems seeds and all.  Gross.

I mean, I could almost live with stems, but weed with seeds in it? ewwww.


I know.  Harsh times.  The bet you could hope for back then was decent outdoor that the grower cared enough about to cure and pack gently.  High quality indoor was around, but who had that kind of money? The bricks of brown frown got you through the lean winters.  Things were tough all over...
2013-03-25 02:36:51 PM  
1 votes:
Good thing they caught that dangerous criminal. He might have gone out and murdered a bag of funyuns or maybe some doritos.

Taxpayer money put to good use. Good job, officer.
2013-03-25 02:36:43 PM  
1 votes:

neongoats: DROxINxTHExWIND: neongoats: rkiller1: Okay, could someone younger and more hip tell me that this is used for: "...a metallic grinder with marijuana residue..."
/I don't recall such devices at Woodstock.

It's a mostly useless device. They are for grinding up rock hard mexican piss weed. But mostly I think people that like to flaunt their smoking collect useless crap like that.

I see someone who doesn't smoke sticky buds.

/They're good for the prevention of pot fingertips.

Sticky buds jam those thing up. Why would you destroy some sweet sweet sticky bud by smashing and tearing it. Stuff it whole into a bowl and love it.


What scientist told you that bud loses its potancy if you "smash and tear" it apart?
2013-03-25 02:27:03 PM  
1 votes:

neongoats: rkiller1: Okay, could someone younger and more hip tell me that this is used for: "...a metallic grinder with marijuana residue..."
/I don't recall such devices at Woodstock.

It's a mostly useless device. They are for grinding up rock hard mexican piss weed. But mostly I think people that like to flaunt their smoking collect useless crap like that.


Thank you!  Though I was hoping it was a sex toy that I could get off Craigslist.
2013-03-25 02:26:05 PM  
1 votes:

rkiller1: Okay, could someone younger and more hip tell me that this is used for: "...a metallic grinder with marijuana residue..."
/I don't recall such devices at Woodstock.


It grinds the "dope" (marijuana) into a finer form so they can put it into the cigar. They then "toke up" or smoke it.
2013-03-25 02:24:29 PM  
1 votes:
Dave's not here.
2013-03-25 02:22:53 PM  
1 votes:
I wasn't lookin' at his neck.
2013-03-25 02:22:06 PM  
1 votes:

CaptSacto: Uh... how fast are we going, man?


How's my driving?

I think we're parked, man.
2013-03-25 02:16:34 PM  
1 votes:
Well, this is Sparta.
2013-03-25 01:45:58 PM  
1 votes:
[cop walks up to the van, where Pedro and Man have been trying to switch who's driving]


Cop: What do you guys want?

Pedro: Nothing.

Cop: Hey, do you mind if I have a, bite of your hot dog?

Pedro: Huh? No man, here, take the whole thing.

[the cop takes a huge bite]

Pedro: Want some fritos?

Cop: [through a mouthful of hot dog] no, this is fine! Thank you! Hey, you fellas have a nice day, okay?

Man Stoner: Hey man, what was that dude's trip? I mean what was he on, man?

Pedro: Man, I don't know but I wish we had some of it!
Pud
2013-03-25 01:35:19 PM  
1 votes:
Man, what is in this Sh*t, man?
Mostly Maui Waui man, but it's got some Labrador in it.
What's Labrador?
I had it on the table and the little motherf*cker ate it, man. Then I had to follow him around with a little baggie for three days, man, before I got it back. Really blew the dog's mind, ya know?
You mean we're smokin' dog sh*t, man?
 
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