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(BBC)   "Hi, I'd like to cancel my newspaper delivery because I've moved." "Of course, Your Holiness"   (bbc.co.uk) divider line 55
    More: Amusing, Holy Thursday  
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8497 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Mar 2013 at 11:11 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-25 11:14:37 AM  
What about Cat Fancy and Boys Life?
 
2013-03-25 11:16:52 AM  
archshrk.com
 
2013-03-25 11:17:22 AM  
He sent a change of address to Hustler.
 
2013-03-25 11:18:56 AM  
I like this guy
 
2013-03-25 11:19:56 AM  
What if the Pope was one of us?
Just a stranger on a bus.
Cancelling his newspaper service
Because he moved away to Rome?
 
2013-03-25 11:19:58 AM  
I cancelled newspaper service a decade ago and I still get solicited to renew my subscription. I feel bad for the unsuspecting telemarketer that calls the Pope.
 
2013-03-25 11:20:37 AM  
I of course have many disagreements with the church and its various social positions, but I like him.  Jesus would pay his own hotel bill.
 
2013-03-25 11:20:59 AM  
The guy has been #WINNING on style points since he was elected- here's hoping this trend continues, it's refreshing to read about someone in a position of such authority who isn't a complete douchebag.
 
2013-03-25 11:27:40 AM  
i'm anti catholic but if they want a pope this guy will do them more good than the last one IMO.
 
2013-03-25 11:27:45 AM  
(yawn)

We'll see how many of you sing a different tune about him during the next pedo scandal (and there will be one, there always is).
 
2013-03-25 11:30:51 AM  
So how gets his old gumbands?
 
2013-03-25 11:31:34 AM  
I like the new guy.  He seems genuinely a nice person who wants the best for everybody.  I just hope something actually gets done about the pedos and the vatican bankers and all that jazz instead of it all being swept under the rug while people talk about what a nice guy the new boss is.
 
2013-03-25 11:32:44 AM  
The problem is that while Jesuits are often fairly humble guys, they tend to be fairly orthodox farkers with a giant stick up their ass as well.  Until 1946, you couldn't be a Jesuit if you had any Muslim or Jewish ancestry.  They'll clean up the corruption, you just might not like their methods.
 
2013-03-25 11:34:59 AM  

ha-ha-guy: The problem is that while Jesuits are often fairly humble guys, they tend to be fairly orthodox farkers with a giant stick up their ass as well.  Until 1946, you couldn't be a Jesuit if you had any Muslim or Jewish ancestry.  They'll clean up the corruption, you just might not like their methods.


Doubt it. Their corruption may take different forms, but I have little doubt they are as corrupt as the rest.

All it takes is money and power. They have both.
 
2013-03-25 11:47:55 AM  
Agent Smiths Laugh

His thoughts on pedophilia (before he was Pope) and the scandals.

The idea that pedophilia is a consequence of celibacy is ruled out. More than seventy percent of cases of pedophilia occur in the family and neighborhood: grandparents, uncles, stepfathers, neighbors. The problem is not linked to celibacy. If a priest is a pedophile, he is so before he is a priest.

Now, when that happens, we must never turn a blind eye. You cannot be in a position of power and destroy the life of another person. In the diocese it never happened to me, but a bishop once called me to ask me by phone what to do in a situation like that and I told him to take away the priests' licenses, not to allow them to exercise the priesthood any more, and to begin a canonical trial in that diocese's court. I think that's the attitude to have. I do not believe in taking positions that uphold a certain corporative spirit in order to avoid damaging the image of the institution. That solution was proposed once in the United States: they proposed switching the priests to a different parish. It is a stupid idea; that way, the priest just takes the problem with him wherever he goes. The corporate reaction leads to such a result, so I do not agree with those solutions. Recently, there were cases uncovered in Ireland from about twenty years ago, and the present Pope [Benedict XVI] clearly said: "Zero tolerance for that crime." I admire the courage and uprightness of Pope Benedict on the subject.

Source:  http://www.aleteia.org/en/religion/documents/in-2012-interview-cardin a l-bergoglio-says-he-favors-keeping-celibacy-582001
 
2013-03-25 11:48:26 AM  

ha-ha-guy: The problem is that while Jesuits are often fairly humble guys, they tend to be fairly orthodox farkers with a giant stick up their ass as well.  Until 1946, you couldn't be a Jesuit if you had any Muslim or Jewish ancestry.  They'll clean up the corruption, you just might not like their methods.


if cleaning up the corruption means halting the paedo protection and banking practices what methods are not to be liked? are they going to kill kittens and puppies to get farkers to fly right? this i would object to.
 
2013-03-25 11:48:29 AM  
Long as you're paid in full, your Holiness.

t2.gstatic.com
 
2013-03-25 11:55:17 AM  
This pope is off to a really interesting start. He has the potential to become as popular as John Paul II which is pretty amazing. I'm excited for all the Catholics out there.
 
2013-03-25 12:10:16 PM  

foxy_canuck: Agent Smiths Laugh

His thoughts on pedophilia (before he was Pope) and the scandals.

The idea that pedophilia is a consequence of celibacy is ruled out. More than seventy percent of cases of pedophilia occur in the family and neighborhood: grandparents, uncles, stepfathers, neighbors. The problem is not linked to celibacy. If a priest is a pedophile, he is so before he is a priest.

Now, when that happens, we must never turn a blind eye. You cannot be in a position of power and destroy the life of another person. In the diocese it never happened to me, but a bishop once called me to ask me by phone what to do in a situation like that and I told him to take away the priests' licenses, not to allow them to exercise the priesthood any more, and to begin a canonical trial in that diocese's court. I think that's the attitude to have. I do not believe in taking positions that uphold a certain corporative spirit in order to avoid damaging the image of the institution. That solution was proposed once in the United States: they proposed switching the priests to a different parish. It is a stupid idea; that way, the priest just takes the problem with him wherever he goes. The corporate reaction leads to such a result, so I do not agree with those solutions. Recently, there were cases uncovered in Ireland from about twenty years ago, and the present Pope [Benedict XVI] clearly said: "Zero tolerance for that crime." I admire the courage and uprightness of Pope Benedict on the subject.

Source:  http://www.aleteia.org/en/religion/documents/in-2012-interview-cardin a l-bergoglio-says-he-favors-keeping-celibacy-582001


Naive and stupid. Comparing pedophilia in the church to pedophilia in other venues is just trying to dodge the bullet. Trying to say a priest never becomes a pedo after becoming a priest is just trying to protect the "special" status of priests.

None of that statement is consistent with probability or reality.

Simple fact is they are an organization that attempts to suppress and control human sexuality. That is just asking for trouble. You're creating a system where sexual appetite is suppressed, which creates motive, and then putting suppressed person into close private contact with a weaker person, that creates opportunity. Bad game plan.
 
2013-03-25 12:11:34 PM  

foxy_canuck: Agent Smiths Laugh

His thoughts on pedophilia (before he was Pope) and the scandals.



I like his attitude regarding the corruption and whatnot.  I don't like his stance on gays, but then again that's been the stance of the Catholic Church since it's inception, and the Catholic Church is incredibly slow to change - I can understand/deal with that.

This guy's a whole heap better than the last one, so far as I can tell.

I'd prefer a Franciscan in the title, but a Jesuit is fine by me.  Humble and relatively understanding, they're the 'hate the sin, love the sinner' type, for the most part.  Only the Franciscans are more so, I think.  And that's probably due to their patron saint.
 
2013-03-25 12:13:29 PM  
I guarantee that conversation actually involved his paper service asking if he wouldn't like to switch to weekends only, and is he really sure he wants to cancel his service.  They did not just up and let him go, pope or not.
 
2013-03-25 12:15:48 PM  
a story like this makes you think a little.  Sure this guy is a cardinal, but he's also a 70+ year old man, who like most older folk was probably pretty set in his ways and settling in to enjoy the last decade or so of his lif sourrounded by a comfrtable routine and familiar surroundings.  Now he's the pope and literally has the weight of the world (or at least 1/6 of its population) on his shoulders.  When he left his aprtment for the conclave, do you think it ever occured to him to think "well, this is the last time I will ever see this place in my life"?  Did he have time to say goodbye to especially cherished staffers or friends?
 
2013-03-25 12:19:59 PM  
I had a dream I was elected the new pope last night, I even got to ride my bike down the special pope shoot secret exit.  Unfortunately my popehood only lasted 20 minutes as they realized it was a case of mistaken identity.  So I hopped on the next starship out of there as it was all very embarrassing.

Seriously though, are my dreams weird or do all you farkers have these?
 
2013-03-25 12:25:36 PM  
Does he have to change the name on all his credit cards to pope Francis also?
 
2013-03-25 12:25:57 PM  

cgraves67: I cancelled newspaper service a decade ago and I still get solicited to renew my subscription. I feel bad for the unsuspecting telemarketer that calls the Pope.


Can you just imagine if they'd elected an American cardinal as Pope? I don't even think God himself could get Comcast to ease off.

TheDirtyNacho: I of course have many disagreements with the church and its various social positions, but I like him.  Jesus would pay his own hotel bill.


This right here. I don't think this guy will be sporting specially made handcrafted Prada.
 
2013-03-25 12:30:53 PM  
I don't know.. the humbleness is starting to get on my nerves. We get it. You've established yourself and your personality. Now, do something that matters. I was raised in the faith,  graduated from a Catholic High School, but haven't been inside a Catholic Church in 10 years. Do something to win me (and the millions just like me) back, Georgie.

/wasn't even molested or nothin'
//good luck getting those dudes back.
 
2013-03-25 12:32:49 PM  
PhoenixInFlames:

I'd prefer a Franciscan in the title, but a Jesuit is fine by me.  Humble and relatively understanding, they're the 'hate the sin, love the sinner' type, for the most part.  Only the Franciscans are more so, I think.  And that's probably due to their patron saint.

Yeah, theoretically, that's the point of that whole "Jesus" thing in the first place. Funny how that works.
 
2013-03-25 12:34:20 PM  

KrispyKritter: ha-ha-guy: The problem is that while Jesuits are often fairly humble guys, they tend to be fairly orthodox farkers with a giant stick up their ass as well.  Until 1946, you couldn't be a Jesuit if you had any Muslim or Jewish ancestry.  They'll clean up the corruption, you just might not like their methods.

if cleaning up the corruption means halting the paedo protection and banking practices what methods are not to be liked? are they going to kill kittens and puppies to get farkers to fly right? this i would object to.


No, they just show up and end all (visible) corruption and questionable practices.  In the process they also shut down any group that might be too liberal or hint at being soft on the contraception issue or any other reforms.  The Jesuits tend to think the corruption happened due to a failure of the lay people and non Jesuit clergy to be properly orthodox.  The Jesuits clean it up and in the process run an inquiry to ensure everyone is properly orthodox. Some of them even thing Vatican II too liberal and bad for the church.  The part where the Church sought pardon from other Christians for the Church's role in any separation that occurred between Catholics and other Christians had my school's Jesuits foaming at the mouth ten years after the fact.

So the bank is likely getting cleaned up and the pedos handled internally, which not to say brought to justice since that would be bad for the church if clergy faced civil trials, but the Jesuits will pack them off to some monastery in the arctic circle where their balls freeze off.  On the downside, it seems extremely unlikely that given the Jesuit Pope and the Jesuit Cardinals the church will evolve on things like birth control, women priests, etc.

Basically this Pope isn't going to herald some new level of openness or cooperation with the authorities, but things likely will clean up due to the internal threat of the Jesuits coming around to kick your ass.

/Jesuits are hell of a lot better than Dominicans though
 
2013-03-25 12:43:22 PM  
Ugh. I just know how hard Argentinians are jerking themselves over the fact that they have a pope now. As if they weren't the most pretentious Latin American country already ugh
 
2013-03-25 12:54:40 PM  
FTFA: "Jorge Maria Bergoglio became the first Latin American Pope when he was elected on 13 March after the shock resignation of Benedict XVI. "

Benedict was tasered into resigning?
 
2013-03-25 01:02:27 PM  
I don't understand why people would break down in tears. Seriously this guy was chosen by some other guys to be Pope of you people. It's not even a democracy. And GOD has nothing to do with this choice. This man has no direct line to God. He just gets to wear a pointy hat and be called Francis. He should be crying not you.
 
2013-03-25 01:02:54 PM  

haterade: I like this guy


He's going to find out that he can't keep doing this.  Fixing his organization should be his top priority and the focus of his time.  Not canceling newspaper subscriptions.
 
2013-03-25 01:08:53 PM  

gingerjet: He's going to find out that he can't keep doing this. Fixing his organization should be his top priority and the focus of his time. Not canceling newspaper subscriptions.


You know the atheists are scared when they start dictating what the Pope should and should not do.
 
2013-03-25 01:16:17 PM  

Ooh, this new guy is going to be a fun one, I can tell... unless you're gay, or a woman who wants to be ordained or control your own reproduction, of course.  In that case, fark you.

news.bbcimg.co.uk
"STFU and GBTW nuns!"


Agent Smiths Laugh:
Trying to say a priest never becomes a pedo after becoming a priest is just trying to protect the "special" status of priests.

Of course, nobody considers* that pedophiles might disproportionately seek out the priesthood, either in the hopes of purging their unnatural urges, or just to gain access to children and impunity.  I am sure normal adults do not "become pedos" just through lack of normal sexual outlet.

* actually, lots of people do, I'm sure
 
2013-03-25 01:33:20 PM  

haterade: I like this guy


Cute little stunts like this don't make up for his archaic view of homosexuality and women.
 
2013-03-25 01:45:55 PM  
I want my two dollars!
 
2013-03-25 02:41:07 PM  

TheDirtyNacho: I of course have many disagreements with the church and its various social positions, but I like him.  Jesus would pay his own hotel bill.


Well put, and how I feel right now too. It's a welcome change from the "I'm better than you" feeling I got from Benedict. A little humility could be a first step. And the Catholic church hierarchy NEEDS to make some steps, in my (not-Catholic) opinion.
 
2013-03-25 02:52:26 PM  

Dragonflew: haterade: I like this guy

Cute little stunts like this don't make up for his archaic view of homosexuality and women.


whats wrong with get back in the kitchen and the closset?

//if you suck the D!cK you loose the kingdom; SK
 
2013-03-25 02:53:24 PM  
Agent Smiths Laugh

What's naive and stupid is your view of human sexuality.  A heterosexual, normal male doesn't turn into a pedophile because of celibacy... if they are going to fall in their vows they end up having an affair with an adult woman... you know they have those in churches too right?  ANY position of power over children draws those who would abuse it... we see the same thing all the time with teachers and other childrens' groups like hockey and scouting.

Sexuality is something that is relatively static (not that it doesn't change at all, just not typically drastically in a polar way) from a fairly young age...  Its the same logic used for the defense that a homosexual person IS that, they did not choose it or become it, it is fundamentally part of their being.  It's the same reason you can't 'cure' a pedophile... they will always have that attraction and it has to be carefully managed to protect children... that's the part that certain leaders in the Church have failed so poorly on, not the fact that some priests are pedophiles.
 
2013-03-25 03:10:41 PM  
His Ballys membership, however......
 
2013-03-25 03:49:45 PM  

foxy_canuck: Agent Smiths Laugh

What's naive and stupid is your view of human sexuality.  A heterosexual, normal male doesn't turn into a pedophile because of celibacy... if they are going to fall in their vows they end up having an affair with an adult woman... you know they have those in churches too right?  ANY position of power over children draws those who would abuse it... we see the same thing all the time with teachers and other childrens' groups like hockey and scouting.

Sexuality is something that is relatively static (not that it doesn't change at all, just not typically drastically in a polar way) from a fairly young age...  Its the same logic used for the defense that a homosexual person IS that, they did not choose it or become it, it is fundamentally part of their being.  It's the same reason you can't 'cure' a pedophile... they will always have that attraction and it has to be carefully managed to protect children... that's the part that certain leaders in the Church have failed so poorly on, not the fact that some priests are pedophiles.


My point was that regardless of their sexual inclination, celibacy increases sexual tension and frustration, thus multiplying the odds of misconduct as that sexual pressure seeks a relief valve.

Or have you never been (or been in proximity to) a teenager?

Tell me, exactly what good does a priest's oath of celibacy do? Care to explain how it can't possibly increase sexual pressure in such a person? What exactly is it you're defending?

I wasn't arguing the factors involving whether someone is a pedophile by nature or becomes one by practice. That's a different debate. I was simply pointing out that priestly celibacy and proximity to children is perhaps not the safest, healthiest combination.
 
2013-03-25 05:13:09 PM  
What about that library book?
 
2013-03-25 05:14:07 PM  
Anybody lived in the DC area long enough to remember the Evening Star?  I used to deliver that, as a teenager, on my bike, back roughly around the Nixon administration.  Had a good-sized route, couple of hundred customers.  My favorite time was collection, not just for the money, but I was waiting for the day when a scantily-clad cougar would show up at the door so I could say "I'm collecting for the Evening Star."

/never got any bites
//obscure? brush up on your Tennessee Williams
 
2013-03-25 05:22:16 PM  

Dragonflew: haterade: I like this guy

Cute little stunts like this don't make up for his archaic view of homosexuality and women.


Less than 100% improvement is not equal to 0% improvement.
 
2013-03-25 05:35:05 PM  

On the Side: I had a dream I was elected the new pope last night, I even got to ride my bike down the special pope shoot secret exit.  Unfortunately my popehood only lasted 20 minutes as they realized it was a case of mistaken identity.  So I hopped on the next starship out of there as it was all very embarrassing.

Seriously though, are my dreams weird or do all you farkers have these?



Were you at any point  standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?
 
2013-03-25 05:38:50 PM  

IC Stars: FTFA: "Jorge Maria Bergoglio became the first Latin American Pope when he was elected on 13 March after the shock resignation of Benedict XVI. "

Benedict was tasered into resigning?



Yes.  He was even seen crying out, "Don't pope me, bro" on the video.
 
2013-03-25 05:46:37 PM  
Agent Smiths Laugh

That's exactly what you argued.  You said that being celibate creates motive... unless the motive to pedophilia was already there, it won't be because a priest is celibate.  Priests as part of their formation learn how to deal with celibacy, how to express sexuality in other healthy ways, and how to deal with the challenges.  You are confusing suppression (voluntary control) with repression (involuntary, linked to trauma).  We suppress ALL of our physical appetites.  If we did not exercise suppression and control for example of our appetite for food we suffer obesity and a whole host of food related illnesses.  Someone who doesn't suppress their sexual appetites at appropriate times winds up a sex offender or cheating on a significant other.  There are healthy ways to learn suppression.  BTW, it's why teenagers struggle so much with it... the sexual changes they go through happen so rapidly, and there is so little practice of control, that it is tremendously difficult for them (imagine climbing a mountain with no previous conditioning).   I can't tell you that it 'can't possibly increase sexual pressure' within a person because that's idiotic.  When you have a craving, denying it increases the pressure to satisfy it... a healthy person learns ways to satisfy it that aren't harmful (related to food, learn techniques to avoid binge eating for example).  Also, no one expects every priest to be perfect in their vows.  A priest who is not a pedophile who breaks the vow of celibacy typically undergoes a reconciliation process (you should read the whole interview, Bergoglio talks about it).  A priest who is a pedophile was a pedophile before... being able to get married and have sex wouldn't change that (think of sandusky, or teachers who have affairs with students).

A priest enters into all of that willingly...  it takes many years of formation, and part of that is working hard to discern if that is part of the lifestyle that is meaningful to you, and something you can handle.  You learn about yourself and your sex drive.  One order of priests I've worked with sends all of their Novitiates to Brazil for 2 years to see how they handle the sexual temptation.  About half of them leave the program before the end of the 2 years.  Mistakes are made, and some priests fail in the vows.  Some leave because of it.  I know a few who have left the priesthood because of that (they are still valued members of the community BTW).

Finally, if a priest in his 9 or so years of reflection and formation feels VERY strongly called to the priesthood AND marriage, they can join one of the rites of Catholicism such as the Byzantine right where priests can still be married.  We have a couple of married priests in our diocese.
 
2013-03-25 06:21:46 PM  

TheDirtyNacho: Dragonflew: haterade: I like this guy

Cute little stunts like this don't make up for his archaic view of homosexuality and women.

Less than 100% improvement is not equal to 0% improvement.


100% improvement would be no pope.
 
2013-03-25 06:28:33 PM  
I like that subby's headline is word-for-word exactly the same as the top reddit comment on reddit's story.

Did someone copy this and paste it there, or did subby steal it from reddit?
 
2013-03-25 06:49:53 PM  

Dragonflew: TheDirtyNacho: Dragonflew: haterade: I like this guy

Cute little stunts like this don't make up for his archaic view of homosexuality and women.

Less than 100% improvement is not equal to 0% improvement.

100% improvement would be no pope.


You do realize that Christianity coming around on birth control requires abandoning the rule against murder, right?

Consider whether those consequences would be a net benefit or not.
 
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