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(TMZ)   Remember Lindsay Lohan's 90-day lockdown rehab sentence to avoid jail? Well, about that   (tmz.com) divider line 94
    More: Followup, Lindsay Lohan, TMZ, lockdowns, Dr. Drew  
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10036 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 25 Mar 2013 at 7:18 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-25 09:51:28 AM
Should've let Judge Judy preside on her cases.  She could knock that out in 5 minutes.
 
2013-03-25 09:55:50 AM

Sinbox: LonMead: Sinbox: LonMead: The Rock just wants to know what's going on.

Do you have the original for that?

Sure...
[1.bp.blogspot.com image 300x375]

Sheer hilarity.
Every.
Single.
Time.

Obliged.


Do you guys just plan that bait and switch?  It never loses its cool.
 
2013-03-25 10:01:24 AM

PsyLord: Should've let Judge Judy preside on her cases.  She could knock that out in 5 minutes.


Lindsay is looking rough, but I bet I could still knock that out in under a minute.

assets.thehollywoodgossip.com
 
2013-03-25 10:06:00 AM

Person: The next time I read "Lindsay Lohan" it's going to be followed by "was found dead today in a pool of her own vomit."


You can't... dust for vomit.
 
2013-03-25 10:06:28 AM

kbronsito: First New York passes a law calling for nonexistent 7-bullet clips. Then it sentences LiLo to nonexistent rehab facility. Maybe NY judges and politicians have been replaced by people from the other universe (where these things do exist).

In order to confirm this, I'll need a lot of LSD, ketamine and Dr. Walter Bishop


Faux LiLo went back to school and received her Master's in Counseling, with a specialty in drug addiction rehabilitation.

/The "It's time to make some LSD!" cracks me up every time.
 
2013-03-25 10:08:59 AM
Does anyone remember the first year of LOST?  And please tell me that you see where I'm going with this.....
 
2013-03-25 10:17:38 AM
How does a judge not check into that before agreeing to the deal?
 
2013-03-25 10:22:48 AM
The L.A. judge has already ripped on her NY attorney (who replaced Lindsay's old long-time lawyer just recently) and questioned whether he actually knew the law or had even practiced criminal law before, due to his many errors.

Now, she has him over a barrel given that he gave assurances to the court that such a "lock-down" facility was available in NY, when it turns out it wasn't.  My guess is a contempt citation will be issued and she will forward info to the NY State Bar Association in the form of a complaint for incompetence and malfeasance.  He may have gotten his dream "celebrity" client, but he will probably end up wishing he had stayed away from this mess.
 
2013-03-25 10:22:57 AM

Happy Hours: Turfshoe: Ha Ha..

You seem obsessed

Miss Lohan should probably get a restraining order against you.

Leave Lilo alone!

And have her bathed - and bound - and washed again just for good measure.

Then bring her to my chambers.


Judge Smails wants her scrubbed, sanitised, and disinfected.
 
2013-03-25 10:24:13 AM

Jarhead_h: Does anyone remember the first year of LOST?  And please tell me that you see where I'm going with this.....



You want us to boobytrap her plane so that she crashes on a deserted island somewhere in the Pacific?
 
2013-03-25 10:25:05 AM

give me doughnuts: Judge Smails wants her scrubbed, sanitised, and disinfected.


Then he'd send her to gas chamber, because he owed it to her.
 
2013-03-25 10:26:56 AM
Turfshoe:

After reading both of your lists, I only have one question to ask:

If someone could sneak a real gun into the props department and kill Brandon Lee, why won't they do the same now?  There were so many chances to do so in Machete.  *facepalm*
 
2013-03-25 10:32:51 AM

reklamfox: Well no shiat. This is a perfect example of what's wrong with the public perception of mental health. Apparantly everyone involved with this case is under the impression that mental health professionals can hold someone indefinitely against their will whenever we like (non suicide threats). NEWSFLASH: rehab isn't a damn prison, the hope is that the people there are there because they want to change. Not because they want to avoid a couple months in prison. The judicial system has screwed up mental health care by making it mandatory. Now we have a public who blame mental health professionals whenever some nut goes on a shooting rampage because we didn't lock them up for life. I hope Lohan goes back to jail, because court ordered rehab is a joke.

/sand in vagina
//spent 3 yrs as a rehab counselor
///slashies come in 3's


I heart you.
 
2013-03-25 11:02:09 AM
LonMead:
The Rock just wants to know what's going on.

Gods...  I am in my 30's.  I have a job.  A family.  A RESPONSIBLE ADULT.  So Why does that crack me up

EVERY

farkING

TIME
 
2013-03-25 11:06:48 AM

Premeditated_Road_Rage: Turfshoe:

After reading both of your lists, I only have one question to ask:

If someone could sneak a real gun into the props department and kill Brandon Lee, why won't they do the same now?  There were so many chances to do so in Machete.  *facepalm*


Nobody snuck in a real gun. It was always a real gun.
 
2013-03-25 11:10:50 AM
What about this place:

i2.ytimg.com
 
2013-03-25 11:14:39 AM
I bet she will be dead by July
 
2013-03-25 11:18:32 AM

soupafi: I bet she will be dead by July


We've been running this pool for a while now. Want to specify which year?
 
2013-03-25 11:24:52 AM
For publicity, a lot of celebrities who are afraid of falling off our radar will call the paparazzi when they are about to go out. I get the feeling that Lindsay calls the police.
 
2013-03-25 11:29:41 AM
She will live to be at least 97 years old. I'm sorry, thats just how these things work out.

The guy who's got a cure for cancer? He'll die at 33 of skin failure, before he can rid the world of the Big C.
 
2013-03-25 11:31:53 AM
I wish she'd OD already. It's tiring hearing about her.
 
2013-03-25 11:48:43 AM

The Muthaship: How does a judge not check into that before agreeing to the deal?


Ever been in court?

What do you call a lawyer with a two-digit IQ? Your honor.
 
2013-03-25 12:01:00 PM

FuryOfFirestorm: Happy Hours: Turfshoe: Ha Ha..

You seem obsessed

Miss Lohan should probably get a restraining order against you.

Leave Lilo alone!

And have her bathed - and bound - and washed again just for good measure.

Then bring her to my chambers.

You better triple bag it before you hit it - a single condom isn't going to stop the combination of rabid crabs and gonhaherpesyphillaids.


Triple bag it?  fark that.  Condom made out of stainless steel at least a quarter inch thick and MIG welded to my dick before I even think of going near that.
 
2013-03-25 12:25:16 PM
I want to know which high ranking politician or other bigshot are on these secretly-recorded Tijuana motel room videos that Lindsay Lohan has kept safe in a secret location, because this is the ONLY reason I can fathom why this arrogant coont has been allowed to flaunt the law.
 
2013-03-25 12:37:22 PM

nimawai: kbronsito: First New York passes a law calling for nonexistent 7-bullet clips. Then it sentences LiLo to nonexistent rehab facility. Maybe NY judges and politicians have been replaced by people from the other universe (where these things do exist).

In order to confirm this, I'll need a lot of LSD, ketamine and Dr. Walter Bishop

She was sentenced in California not NY. Which is part of the confusion concerning the lock down rehabs in NY. Her lawyer assured the DA that they existed in NY. He lied.

/ I hate myself for knowing this much about this case


Well... since you may have confirmed that this isn't a case of people from the other universe taking over, we do have all this leftover LSD and ketamine.
 
2013-03-25 12:48:38 PM
Is she really 26 now?
Well, if so then there's a wonderful club for her to join next birthday.
 
2013-03-25 12:56:21 PM

give me doughnuts: Jarhead_h: Does anyone remember the first year of LOST?  And please tell me that you see where I'm going with this.....


You want us to boobytrap her plane so that she crashes on a deserted island somewhere in the Pacific?


So we make a rehab center in a stranded and isolated tropical island, with no way on or off other then a supply plane/boat.
Guests can leave when they want, but there is no way to sneak out and back.
You could set it up a a celebrity/rich rehab center where you can detox on the beach, and it could work for these rehab pleas as if you can not cut it by the time you reach the mainland the police will be there to escort you to wherever the alternative is.
 
2013-03-25 12:57:33 PM

nimawai: born_yesterday: nimawai: chumboobler: The judge simply orders that failure to complete the treatment program will result in 90 days of jail.  Sneak out to party? 90 days of jail.  Get high in treatment? 90 days of jail.  That is as good of a lock down rehab as you are going to get.

Too bad the "celeb" court system is clueless & will end up just giving her another slap on her wrist. :/ How many chances is this trick ho going to get? It's well beyond ridiculous now. She makes OJ getting off seem like a harsh punishment.

Actually, OJ did subsequently get the absolute shiat kicked out of him in civil court, so at least we have that going for us.

It would be nice if he started willingly paid those families what he owes them. So far all the money he's paid has been forced by the courts. That man has to have money hiding somewhere. He still lives too good of a lifestyle to be broke. Well when he's not in jail.


Well eventhough he is in jail in Nevada I think he is still a Florida resident and he does recieve and NFL pension that is like $5,000 a month and I think in Florida you cant have your pension taken from you in lawsuits IIRC. So he still gets his monthly check eventhough he is in jail.
 
2013-03-25 01:12:56 PM

The Gordie Howe Hat Trick: She will live to be at least 97 years old. I'm sorry, thats just how these things work out.

The guy who's got a cure for cancer? He'll die at 33 of skin failure, before he can rid the world of the Big C.


WTH is skin failure? Is this about Abe Vigoda's Ghost's pic of Lindsay above?
 
2013-03-25 01:32:10 PM

SundaesChild: She needs to stop being "mentored" by Charlie Sheen and spend some time with RDJ. Now there's a celebrity addict who got his shiat together and returned to the top. Talented, too.


upload.wikimedia.org

What is he supposedly addicted to? Collecting old synths?
 
2013-03-25 01:33:12 PM

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Let us take a moment to remember these...


Orange skin and orange hair should never be seen on the same person.
 
2013-03-25 02:45:37 PM
The uh... "rehab centre" at uh... my house... uh... is one of those types they're uh... looking for.
 
2013-03-25 02:51:10 PM

No Such Agency: LonMead:
The Rock just wants to know what's going on.

Gods...  I am in my 30's.  I have a job.  A family.  A RESPONSIBLE ADULT.  So Why does that crack me up

EVERY

farkING

TIME


This!
I was fighting to hold back the snort of laughter at work just now. I feel like Pvt. Pyle in FMJ when gunny Hartman is yelling at him.

4.bp.blogspot.com
"Private Pyle I'm gonna give you three seconds; exactly three-farking-seconds to wipe that stupid looking grin off your face or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull-fark you! ONE! TWO! THREE!  "
 
2013-03-25 03:19:23 PM
Simple solution. Send her to jail for a year including 90 day rehab with no early out. Then she will have to go through the full rehab and have time to stay alcohol free.

Unfortunately that will probably not work either. Nothing will probably work until she wants it to work. That will not happen till she hits bottom, broke and homeless - if she isn't dead by then.
 
2013-03-25 03:35:53 PM

macadamnut: The Muthaship: How does a judge not check into that before agreeing to the deal?

Ever been in court?

What do you call a lawyer with a two-digit IQ? Your honor.


Ah, the inordinate amount of respect judges receive... Politicians usually rate pretty low in surveys regarding respect. Lawyers usually rate even lower. What do you get when you combine a lawyer and a politician? A judge.

Q: What do you have when you have 11 lawyers buried up to their necks in sand?
A: Not enough sand.

Why the hatred of lawyers? Simply because of bad PR... 97% of lawyers just make the others look bad.
 
2013-03-25 03:45:35 PM
Turfshoe:

I find it amazing that Lohan doesn't have a felony record.  She has enough mugshots to make a montage and has managed not to have a felony record.

I decided to look it up.  Celebrity justice is awesome.  I like that she has enough charges against her to actually break it down into a yearly list.


Since you did this in reverse chronological order, I'll make one edit:

LINDSAY LOHAN CRIMINAL RECORD FOR 2010

May 2013 Lindsay Lohan died of heart failure related to excessive drug use after being released early from jail due to overcrowding. She was ordered to serve her partial sentence in jail because no "lockdown rehab" facility exists in California.

October 2010 The judge orders Lilo to spend 90 days at a rehab facility.

September 2010 - Just weeks after leaving rehab early, Lindsay failed a drug test mandated by the courts. She could face up to 30 days in jail.


... etc.
 
2013-03-25 03:46:23 PM
I feel like Lindsay Lohan and Amanda Bynes are playing the crackhead edition of Truth or Dare.

/I'm not even sure whose move it is this time after Byne's murder my vagina comment
 
2013-03-25 05:30:36 PM

born_yesterday: nimawai: chumboobler: The judge simply orders that failure to complete the treatment program will result in 90 days of jail.  Sneak out to party? 90 days of jail.  Get high in treatment? 90 days of jail.  That is as good of a lock down rehab as you are going to get.

Too bad the "celeb" court system is clueless & will end up just giving her another slap on her wrist. :/ How many chances is this trick ho going to get? It's well beyond ridiculous now. She makes OJ getting off seem like a harsh punishment.

Actually, OJ did subsequently get the absolute shiat kicked out of him in civil court, so at least we have that going for us.


And he is currently a guest of the Nevada State Penal System - and will be there a while.
 
2013-03-25 05:50:10 PM
Let the countdown begin...

//she's going to be dead soon at this rate
 
2013-03-25 05:57:48 PM

groppet: nimawai: born_yesterday: nimawai: chumboobler: The judge simply orders that failure to complete the treatment program will result in 90 days of jail.  Sneak out to party? 90 days of jail.  Get high in treatment? 90 days of jail.  That is as good of a lock down rehab as you are going to get.

Too bad the "celeb" court system is clueless & will end up just giving her another slap on her wrist. :/ How many chances is this trick ho going to get? It's well beyond ridiculous now. She makes OJ getting off seem like a harsh punishment.

Actually, OJ did subsequently get the absolute shiat kicked out of him in civil court, so at least we have that going for us.

It would be nice if he started willingly paid those families what he owes them. So far all the money he's paid has been forced by the courts. That man has to have money hiding somewhere. He still lives too good of a lifestyle to be broke. Well when he's not in jail.

Well eventhough he is in jail in Nevada I think he is still a Florida resident and he does recieve and NFL pension that is like $5,000 a month and I think in Florida you cant have your pension taken from you in lawsuits IIRC. So he still gets his monthly check eventhough he is in jail.


He was living in a mansion & claiming poverty right after the trial. He's also said he's never going to pay the families willingly. You don't live the lifestyle he did in FL on $5K a month. The man has got to have a ton of money stashed away somewhere. It would be nice if he would give some of it to the families.
 
2013-03-25 06:19:48 PM

TV's Vinnie: I want to know which high ranking politician or other bigshot are on these secretly-recorded Tijuana motel room videos that Lindsay Lohan has kept safe in a secret location, because this is the ONLY reason I can fathom why this arrogant coont has been allowed to flaunt the law.


flout
 
2013-03-25 06:45:57 PM

MadAzza: TV's Vinnie: I want to know which high ranking politician or other bigshot are on these secretly-recorded Tijuana motel room videos that Lindsay Lohan has kept safe in a secret location, because this is the ONLY reason I can fathom why this arrogant coont has been allowed to flaunt the law.

flout


mizzbree.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-03-25 08:45:14 PM

MadAzza: TV's Vinnie: I want to know which high ranking politician or other bigshot are on these secretly-recorded Tijuana motel room videos that Lindsay Lohan has kept safe in a secret location, because this is the ONLY reason I can fathom why this arrogant coont has been allowed to flaunt the law.

flout


the correct word is flaut

www.troktokmusical.com.br
 
2013-03-26 12:25:08 AM

Sinbox: LonMead: Sinbox: LonMead: The Rock just wants to know what's going on.

Do you have the original for that?

Sure...
[1.bp.blogspot.com image 300x375]

Sheer hilarity.
Every.
Single.
Time.

Obliged.


Yes indeed. LOL. Thanks for delivering, FARK thread!
 
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