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(Jalopnik)   Russians find the solution to rush hour traffic by: A) leaving work earlier. B) staggering arrival times. C) hiring fake ambulances   (jalopnik.com) divider line 34
    More: Amusing, Russians, taxis  
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4857 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Mar 2013 at 8:08 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



34 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-03-25 08:11:20 AM  
I think most Russian solutions involve staggering.
 
2013-03-25 08:17:59 AM  
Isn't freedom & democracy great?
 
2013-03-25 08:18:32 AM  
i.imgur.com

Approves of using ambulances to clear traffic.
 
2013-03-25 08:28:30 AM  
great. "i'm too important for traffoc, so i'll just make sure nobody ever believes an emergency vehicle again."
 
2013-03-25 08:31:24 AM  
Nothing new.  They do this all over the world.

s12.postimg.org
 
2013-03-25 08:41:10 AM  
Opulence. He has it.
 
2013-03-25 08:46:13 AM  
Do the fake ones look like this?
i1127.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-25 08:51:28 AM  
chopstix.files.wordpress.com?
 
2013-03-25 09:09:04 AM  
You have to love the Russian.
 
2013-03-25 09:19:06 AM  
Came for Die Hard 3 reference.

/got a bad headache
 
2013-03-25 09:20:03 AM  
Putting dash cam footage to good use finally.
 
2013-03-25 09:24:10 AM  
Free market solutions.
 
2013-03-25 09:32:45 AM  
I still like that British guy who bought a tank to be chauffeured around town.

I had an old guy block me from leaving a parking lot because he wanted my spot.  Seriously, he wouldn't give room to leave because he didn't want someone else from taking what I was trying leave for him.  Anyway when he finally backed up giving me room to maneuver around him, he yelled 'What are you driving, a tank?'.  I replied "No, I would've ran you over if I had a tank."

It was so absurd, I backed out of a spot only to have another car back out or their spot bringing me to a stop.  I was out enough to go forward and was starting to go forward when an old guy in a Caddy pulled up less than two feet from my front bumper and decided to wait right there for my spot.  To convey my inability to move I took the car out gear, pulled the key from the ignition and held it up for him to see before dropping it on the dash.  I was starting to reach for a book when he got the point.
 
2013-03-25 09:37:48 AM  
The internet has given me the impression that the Russians are not a trustworthy nor honorable people. It seems that life is so hopeless over there that their young have taken to hanging off of towers at great heights and doing drugs that eat your flesh down to the bone. It is because of this that I understand why they need a strong and ruthless leader like Putin.

Can anyone say anything positive about Russia to change my mind?
 
2013-03-25 09:40:38 AM  
Posing as a cop or any other kind of emergency worker isn't just awful, it's also illegal (in the U.S. anyway, and presumably Russia too.)


Hey I can write an article, why dont just speculate instead of doing any research! This is the web after all and all we are after is clicks.


I don't suspect that these passengers and fake paramedics will get away with this scheme for too long, though. I can't imagine all the normal working schlubs in Moscow who are stuck in traffic find this amusing.


Right, rich people don't get away with illegal shiat in Russia, no siree! Just like the good old USA, once the "working schlubs" decide they don't like something, it stops, pronto!
 
2013-03-25 09:41:24 AM  
I guess it falls to me...

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-03-25 09:41:56 AM  
wtf? Hey why don't I put a few MORE spaces in between sentences...
/what is "preview" ?
 
2013-03-25 09:46:49 AM  

Rude Turnip: The internet has given me the impression that the Russians are not a trustworthy nor honorable people. It seems that life is so hopeless over there that their young have taken to hanging off of towers at great heights and doing drugs that eat your flesh down to the bone. It is because of this that I understand why they need a strong and ruthless leader like Putin.

Can anyone say anything positive about Russia to change my mind?


Vodak?
 
2013-03-25 09:58:30 AM  
You have to admit, that's a very Russian answer.
 
2013-03-25 10:11:31 AM  
Top Gear (US) beat me to the punch...  Behold the "Ambutaxi"
bbctransmission.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-03-25 10:17:08 AM  
That show is terrible.
 
2013-03-25 10:24:41 AM  

Rude Turnip: The internet has given me the impression that the Russians are not a trustworthy nor honorable people. It seems that life is so hopeless over there that their young have taken to hanging off of towers at great heights and doing drugs that eat your flesh down to the bone. It is because of this that I understand why they need a strong and ruthless leader like Putin.

Can anyone say anything positive about Russia to change my mind?


Russian chicks are extremely good in the sack, even the pretty ones. This comes from having a culture of strong independent women who get shiat done, and they grow up surrounded by relatives who reinforce the idea that it is the woman's job to please the man in bed. The negative side is that if you mess around on them they will give no farks about murdering you, probably in a painful way. First gen ones make great wives because they know how good they have it compared to how bad things could be. They don't have the sense of entitlement/princess complex that western women grow up with.

Russian men are generally useless, mostly drunk, and generally cowardly. Except a few are hyper-intelligent but the limitation of their superpowers is they can only use the intelligence toward subjects that have no practical application like mathematics, and physics, and chess.
 
2013-03-25 10:46:40 AM  
Nothing new.  Back in the 1930s, Orson Welles found that you didn't actually have to be ill to ride in an ambulance in New York with the lights and sirens running, so he used them to get from studio to studio for radio gigs (he was so in demand as a voice actor that he often had six calls a day scheduled at different studios around Manhattan).
 
2013-03-25 11:19:24 AM  
Who ya gonna call?

static.moviefanatic.com
 
2013-03-25 11:37:40 AM  

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: That show is terrible.


the hosts have no chemistry, and the banter is awkward.

the show can't be like the UK top gear. UK Top Gear is not dependent on advertising, and is free to be as critical of products as they want. All automakers can do is refuse to supply cars to the show in protest, however the hosts have no problem buying a car outright if they want to test it (Dodge Challenger, for example)
 
2013-03-25 11:45:51 AM  

The Green Intern: I guess it falls to me...

[25.media.tumblr.com image 720x405]


Came here for that reference, left feeling satisfied

/loved that movie and both sequils
 
2013-03-25 12:12:26 PM  
BRILLIANT!

I'mnot one of the folks who thinks everything should be equal. If they have a few extra bucks to spend so that they can gt through traffic, more power to them. Hell, Maryland has that EZ Pass thing and if your poor ass doesn't have money, you can't get to your destination faster. You just have to deal. That said, if they get caught they should have to pay a fine that is 15 times more than what they paid to rent the ambulance and it should double every time they are caught. They're putting people who really need medical treatment in danger.
 
2013-03-25 12:19:30 PM  
FTA: VIP commuters are riding around in "ambulance taxis" that cost as much as $200 per hour.

Protip: You can buy an ambulance in the US for $3500. "Mega-Rich" Russians can then pay a few hundred dollars to get someone to look the other way as they bring in their new ambulance.

Bonus points: Charge other people $200 an hour to rent your junkie-ass ambulance.
 
2013-03-25 02:27:26 PM  

Rude Turnip: The internet has given me the impression that the Russians are not a trustworthy nor honorable people. It seems that life is so hopeless over there that their young have taken to hanging off of towers at great heights and doing drugs that eat your flesh down to the bone. It is because of this that I understand why they need a strong and ruthless leader like Putin.

Can anyone say anything positive about Russia to change my mind?


They've got lots of Vodak.
 
2013-03-25 02:45:17 PM  

DROxINxTHExWIND: BRILLIANT!

I'mnot one of the folks who thinks everything should be equal. If they have a few extra bucks to spend so that they can gt through traffic, more power to them. Hell, Maryland has that EZ Pass thing and if your poor ass doesn't have money, you can't get to your destination faster. You just have to deal. That said, if they get caught they should have to pay a fine that is 15 times more than what they paid to rent the ambulance and it should double every time they are caught. They're putting people who really need medical treatment in danger.


EZ-Pass tolls cost the same or *less* than cash tolls. The tags don't cost anything.
 
2013-03-25 03:39:48 PM  

RembrandtQEinstein: Rude Turnip: The internet has given me the impression that the Russians are not a trustworthy nor honorable people. It seems that life is so hopeless over there that their young have taken to hanging off of towers at great heights and doing drugs that eat your flesh down to the bone. It is because of this that I understand why they need a strong and ruthless leader like Putin.

Can anyone say anything positive about Russia to change my mind?

Russian chicks are extremely good in the sack, even the pretty ones. This comes from having a culture of strong independent women who get shiat done, and they grow up surrounded by relatives who reinforce the idea that it is the woman's job to please the man in bed. The negative side is that if you mess around on them they will give no farks about murdering you, probably in a painful way. First gen ones make great wives because they know how good they have it compared to how bad things could be. They don't have the sense of entitlement/princess complex that western women grow up with.

Russian men are generally useless, mostly drunk, and generally cowardly. Except a few are hyper-intelligent but the limitation of their superpowers is they can only use the intelligence toward subjects that have no practical application like mathematics, and physics, and chess.


The T-34 was better than the Sherman, jimbo, and the MiG-15 better than the F-80.  Today, Boeing seems to prefer to contract airframe refurbishing to the Russians, while their IT people are sought after.  So, useless?

/Anglo-American
 
2013-03-25 11:12:12 PM  

Johnson: Do the fake ones look like this?
[i1127.photobucket.com image 512x341]


LULZ.

Not to be a Debbie Downer, but I read about this ages ago.
 
2013-03-26 03:31:45 AM  

Rude Turnip: DROxINxTHExWIND: BRILLIANT!

I'mnot one of the folks who thinks everything should be equal. If they have a few extra bucks to spend so that they can gt through traffic, more power to them. Hell, Maryland has that EZ Pass thing and if your poor ass doesn't have money, you can't get to your destination faster. You just have to deal. That said, if they get caught they should have to pay a fine that is 15 times more than what they paid to rent the ambulance and it should double every time they are caught. They're putting people who really need medical treatment in danger.

EZ-Pass tolls cost the same or *less* than cash tolls. The tags don't cost anything.


Actually the tags now cost $35 for activation and $1/month. I keep one old school tag (with no fee) around for my daily driver. I traded my other in for the new (whatever they call it these days) so I can ride in the HOT lanes for free when I have the family in the car. And of course, if you use the toll lanes they waive the fee. And with three people in the car, there is no toll.

The lanes are still pretty farking useless. I get on 495 at I-66, and get a whopping 3 miles before the toll lanes merge back into regular traffic. Nice for getting to Tyson's corner. But all they've done is move the traffic jam upstream.
 
2013-03-26 11:06:12 PM  
Bootstrapy!

Remember the old joke about how NASA spent millions to develop a high-tech pen that would write in zero gravity and how the Russians just used a pencil?

I think of that every time I read a story about Russians solving problems by cutting the Gordian knot, so to speak. Good old American know out and can do spirit! Yeah!

They have a way of short-circuiting problems that is almost Zen. I'm told that if a Middle Eastern restauranteur hasn't got what you want, he'll bend over backwards to find a way to sell you something else or find a way to get what is needed through devious channels of deals and favours. It's Let's Make a Deal raised to an artform. Everything's negotiable. I've heard the same thing about the Chinese and Indians: there is no word for "no sale" in Asian.

Using ambulances as taxis is just the kind of economic perversity that flourished so greatly under Communism, where almost everything involved standing in line for something you did not want but could barter, through several steps, perhaps, for something you needed or wanted. But I suspect that this kind of inefficiency and round-about problem solving must have dominated life in these places for thousands of years.

The bourgeois facility of cash for goods on the barrel-head and easy credit is something alien in many of these places. They still do things the way the Little Red Hen and other fairy tale creatures do it in old children's stories: gift loops and barter cycles.
 
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