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(The Sun)   British school helps to put the nanny in nanny state by forbidding cafeteria employees to cook triangular flapjacks because the sharp end could poke a student's eye out   (thesun.co.uk) divider line 86
    More: Stupid, British Schools of America  
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6364 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Mar 2013 at 8:30 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



86 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-03-25 07:40:33 AM
How can you even make one that's triangular?

*clicks article*

Oh. So that's a flapjack. I always thought flapjack was another name for a pancake. Learn something new everyday. I need to travel more.
 
2013-03-25 07:54:32 AM

SnarfVader: How can you even make one that's triangular?

*clicks article*

Oh. So that's a flapjack. I always thought flapjack was another name for a pancake. Learn something new everyday. I need to travel more.



A flapjack is a pancake in North America. In Britain it's what we'd call an oat bar.
 
2013-03-25 08:32:30 AM
There's no news any longer, it's all frickin' Fark!
 
2013-03-25 08:34:53 AM
If there were just some simple way of knowing that one never takes anything written in the Sun seriously. Maybe if we call it a tabloid and point up that it is owned by News Corp. Nah. That won't work.
 
2013-03-25 08:37:31 AM
It's political correctness gone mad
 
2013-03-25 08:41:05 AM
I wanted to gloat about how Subby didn't know what a flapjack was. I didn't come here expecting to learn something this morning, dammit.
 
2013-03-25 08:41:26 AM
Are they going to ban fingers now? Because fingers are just as likely to poke an eye out.
 
2013-03-25 08:41:50 AM
img.thesun.co.uk

I'm a flapjack, and I'm ok
 
2013-03-25 08:42:43 AM
Too early for flapjacks?
 
2013-03-25 08:42:45 AM
I have an even better idea, how about banning the throwing of food?
 
2013-03-25 08:42:54 AM
They should be careful about nasty slices of mango as well.
 
2013-03-25 08:44:41 AM
So somebody gets poked in the eye with a triangular snack and they decide to...add a corner and make it a rectangle?
 
2013-03-25 08:45:54 AM
If that's the damage a triangle shaped flapjack can do just think what a ninja throwing star shaped flapjack would do.

/Won't somebody think of the flapjack eating children???
 
2013-03-25 08:46:14 AM

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: So somebody gets poked in the eye with a triangular snack and they decide to...add a corner and make it a rectangle?


More corners = MORE DANGER!

The only sane and safe choice is to remove all corners and make it round.
 
2013-03-25 08:46:50 AM
Straightjackets for all kids.
 
2013-03-25 08:47:38 AM

LewDux: It's political correctness gone mad


Better that than another senseless flapjack-related stabbing.
 
2013-03-25 08:50:22 AM

Sybarite: A flapjack is a pancake in North America. In Britain it's what we'd call an oat bar.


That's why I like Australian English so much more than other variants. Instead of mixing up existing words, they come up with a new one. The object in question is probably called something like a Chazwalzal or Doogeriedee. When I hear a word like that, I know I have no idea what it is instead of having something incorrect come to mind.

/Plus in the land of Oz, the women wear no bras
 
2013-03-25 08:50:26 AM
This confirms my preconceived notions that very single person in the UK is a giant pussy.
 
2013-03-25 08:53:14 AM

give me doughnuts: I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: So somebody gets poked in the eye with a triangular snack and they decide to...add a corner and make it a rectangle?

More corners = MORE DANGER!

The only sane and safe choice is to remove all corners and make it round.


that's insane, round edges can be sharp (pizza cutter) you just want to see children hurt
 
2013-03-25 08:54:03 AM
approves
 
2013-03-25 08:54:38 AM
But what if the cafeteria worker has a pointed stick?
 
2013-03-25 08:55:32 AM
wait until little Catfish Hunter discovers apples, his classmates will be farked. -boink-
 
2013-03-25 08:55:40 AM

Onkel Buck: approves


Lets try that again
i241.photobucket.com
/always use preview!
 
2013-03-25 08:57:51 AM

LewDux: It's political correctness made up shiat in The Sun gone mad



Probably closer to the truth than The Sun.
 
2013-03-25 09:01:06 AM
Given we're talking British food here, they may be right.
 
2013-03-25 09:02:35 AM
Just wait until a kid nibbles the flapjack into the shape of a gun, so he can prove that you don't bring a sharp triangular shaped flapjack to a gun shaped flapjack fight.
 
2013-03-25 09:03:33 AM
Get oat of here!
 
2013-03-25 09:04:13 AM
Let me tell you, when  you're in detention, in Room 237 (that's band room the rest of the day), a triangular flapjack can be all that stands between you and death.  Shank or be shanked, man.
 
2013-03-25 09:04:57 AM
Is that like a scone? Because I could really go for a scone right now.
 
2013-03-25 09:06:00 AM
Are there still forks in the cafeteria?  If so, then I feel that corners on a food item might be the lower concern.
 
2013-03-25 09:08:12 AM

LordOfThePings: I'm a flapjack, and I'm ok


I'm mad of oats and I taste like clay

/How's that?
 
2013-03-25 09:09:02 AM

ginandbacon: Is that like a scone? Because I could really go for a scone right now.


I think it's oatmeal that is trying to pass itself off as a granola bar.
 
2013-03-25 09:09:17 AM
LordOfThePings: I'm a flapjack, and I'm ok

I'm MADE of oats and I taste like clay

/How's that?

Ftfm
 
2013-03-25 09:11:40 AM

LordOfThePings: [img.thesun.co.uk image 310x347]

I'm a flapjack, and I'm ok


Wait, what? How in the hell is that a "flapjack"?

In Reality, a pancake is generally not rigid enough to stand on edge - it's FLAPPY - hence FLAPjack.
In Her Majesty's Sillynesstime for Fabbylaggies, a flapjack need not be flappy; you just find a perfectly normal-named food ("oat bar") and give it a stupid name that bears no significance to any part of the food.

// and now someone comes in to tell me that oats have been known as "flappies" in England since the tyme of Groswingdon the Mildly Perturbed, and how could I not know that
// the stayte of Amerycane Publicke Schoolse muste be wretchede indeede
 
2013-03-25 09:12:00 AM
It's a school, not the government, so "nanny state" does not apply.
 
2013-03-25 09:12:26 AM
The Sun is running a campaign to combat killjoys who've lost common sense - giving examples a Non-Sense award.

Is there something about a triangle shape that is particularly more joyful than any other shape? I'd assume these things are baked in sheets and needed to be cut into triangles... seems cutting them in squares would be easier anyway. At any rate, I'm glad we got the facts from an 'insider' and 'spokesperson'. Thank you, The Sun, for keeping us infromed.
 
2013-03-25 09:13:43 AM
I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros
So somebody gets poked in the eye with a triangular snack and they decide to...add a corner and make it a rectangle?


I guess the triangular shape handles better when throwing.

Also, if you not only add a corner, but make the four-cornered thing rectangular, the corners are less pointy because of the 90 degree angles.
 
2013-03-25 09:14:02 AM
Wait until they realize the danger of fresh fruit.
 
2013-03-25 09:14:37 AM
As they should everybody knows Triangle always wins Man.
 
2013-03-25 09:14:57 AM

SnarfVader: How can you even make one that's triangular?

*clicks article*

Oh. So that's a flapjack. I always thought flapjack was another name for a pancake. Learn something new everyday. I need to travel more.


no you are in fact correct in your original assumption.  The british are just farking retards.
 
2013-03-25 09:16:58 AM

mekki: ginandbacon: Is that like a scone? Because I could really go for a scone right now.

I think it's oatmeal that is trying to pass itself off as a granola bar.


Well to hell with that.
 
2013-03-25 09:17:47 AM

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: But what if the cafeteria worker has a pointed stick?


Shut up!
 
2013-03-25 09:19:31 AM
My flapjack has three corners,
Three corners has my flapjack.
And had it not three corners,
It would not be my flapjack.
 
2013-03-25 09:29:35 AM

Sybarite: SnarfVader: How can you even make one that's triangular?

*clicks article*

Oh. So that's a flapjack. I always thought flapjack was another name for a pancake. Learn something new everyday. I need to travel more.


A flapjack is a pancake in North America. In Britain it's what we'd call an oat bar.


i.imgur.com
 
2013-03-25 09:34:53 AM
Do they allow these things on planes?
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-03-25 09:38:48 AM
A hexagonal flapjack would be much safer than square and can still tile the plane (i.e. not waste space).
 
2013-03-25 09:40:52 AM

GlobalStrategic MapleSyrup Reserve: Get oat of here!


Isosceles what you did there.
 
2013-03-25 09:40:54 AM
Maybe they should take it a step further and ban solid food.
 
2013-03-25 09:41:33 AM

Tom_Slick: As they should everybody knows Triangle always wins Man.


Triangle Flapjack, Triangle Flapjack
Triangle Flapjack hates Particle Flapjack
They have a fight, Triangle wins
Triangle Flapjack
 
2013-03-25 09:41:34 AM

LewDux: It's political correctness gone mad


something, something, go back to your Somalian Utopia, more government is good, something, something.
 
2013-03-25 09:43:52 AM
In other words some cafeteria worker got creative and no one noticed until a kid got hurt. Then the boss told the cafeteria worker to just cut the damn oat bars like she was supposed to.
 
2013-03-25 09:47:40 AM
Why don't they just make them in bar form... nothing could go wrong then, right?

spacegypsies.com
 
2013-03-25 09:52:01 AM
Britain, you used to have balls of steel. What happened?
 
2013-03-25 09:56:17 AM

Shorelinefarker: Britain, you used to have balls of steel. What happened?


Turns out, that "stiff upper lip" is a congenital birth defect prevalent in Britain through generations of inbreeding.
 
2013-03-25 09:58:17 AM
The little blurb at the end by Andy McNab is really the icing on the cake. For some reason I read it in Alan Partridge's voice.
 
2013-03-25 10:01:42 AM
You can have my assault oatie when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.
 
2013-03-25 10:01:55 AM
Well, you have to admit the first thing a little boy thinks of whenever presented with anything that can fit in his hand and has sharp corners is wonder if he can throw it like a ninja star.
 
2013-03-25 10:07:12 AM
Every Sun article that shows up here comes off as some silly, overhyped, half-truth nonsense specifically designed to get dumb, lonely old people riled up about how things were "better back in my day" and how "we were a lot tougher back then what with our metal oat bars with razor edges!".

Is that true of every Sun article or just the one's that get cherry-picked for Fark?
 
2013-03-25 10:07:28 AM

ZAZ: A hexagonal flapjack would be much safer than square and can still tile the plane (i.e. not waste space).


Maybe they should go all the way -- make them round, soft, and covered with a blend of harmless, bio-sourced lubricants...

i-cdn.apartmenttherapy.com

Nothing in your kid's eye but pure delicious.
 
2013-03-25 10:09:18 AM
It's good to see the Sun focussing on important made-up stories as opposed to covering trivialities such as the 24 journalists in its own staff currently on bail for bribing police officers.
 
2013-03-25 10:10:45 AM

3rdtimearound: The little blurb at the end by Andy McNab is really the icing on the cake. For some reason I read it in Alan Partridge's voice.


I'm Andy McNab
I'm Andy McNab
I'm Andy McNab
I'm Andie MacDowell. oooh.
 
2013-03-25 10:11:37 AM

ausfahrk: ZAZ: A hexagonal flapjack would be much safer than square and can still tile the plane (i.e. not waste space).

Maybe they should go all the way -- make them round, soft, and covered with a blend of harmless, bio-sourced lubricants...

[i-cdn.apartmenttherapy.com image 540x360]

Nothing in your kid's eye but pure delicious.


a3.ec-images.myspacecdn.com

A little late for Lenny...
 
2013-03-25 10:16:11 AM

Gifted Many Few: Wait until they realize the danger of fresh fruit.


It's not so much the fresh fruit thats the danger it's more the tiger you have to escort around in the event of being attacked by a villanous assailant carrying RASPBERRYS
 
2013-03-25 10:30:23 AM
i169.photobucket.com
Say "I love crepes" Reecky Bubbay
 
2013-03-25 10:40:47 AM
What they really need is some sort of class to teach people how to defend themselves from someone armed with a banana.
 
2013-03-25 10:47:46 AM
I think the American obsession with nanny-states is in overdrive.  Is it that big of a deal that they decided on a different shape for a snack-bar after one kid hit another in the eye with one?  It seems pretty reasonable and costs them nothing.  Will Sarah Palin now go to all of her speaking engagements with a Big Gulp in one hand and a triangular granola bar in the other?
 
2013-03-25 11:17:56 AM
Banned: Deemed Unsafe for British Children
imageshack.us

Acceptable: Deemed Safe for British Children
imageshack.us
 
2013-03-25 11:27:37 AM
In all fairness, school cafeterias probably cook them hard enough to use as improvised shanks.
 
2013-03-25 11:30:47 AM
It's never "You'll catch a cold, you'll catch a head cold! You'll catch a rhinitis ! No. It's always breaking your neck, put someone's eye out, and pneumonia ."
 
2013-03-25 11:58:58 AM
img.thesun.co.uk

I once dropped a pound cake on my foot. Hurt like hell for 2 weeks!
 
2013-03-25 12:05:35 PM
www.zazzle.com

But won't someone think of the lonely space flapjacks?...
 
2013-03-25 01:08:04 PM
www.faithmouse.com
 
2013-03-25 01:09:06 PM

Kibbler: Let me tell you, when  you're in detention, in Room 237 (that's band room the rest of the day), a triangular flapjack can be all that stands between you and death.  Shank or be shanked, man.


Flap or be jacked?
 
2013-03-25 01:21:55 PM
Nuke the entire island from orbit, its the only way to be sure.
 
2013-03-25 01:43:08 PM
Our new cafeteria plan is exciting.

The lunches are free, but compulsory.  Be sure to try the chips.

/nothing is obscure on fark
 
2013-03-25 01:49:42 PM
img836.imageshack.us
 
2013-03-25 02:23:12 PM
"It's very silly. You'd have thought teachers would have more pressing concerns on their minds than the shape of snacks and puddings."

WTF is this person even being quoted for?

You, sir, are too intelligent to be in charge of education.
 
2013-03-25 02:31:09 PM
i.imgur.com

Why did this not make the list? It seems pretty damn dangerous to me.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-03-25 02:31:17 PM

skozlaw: ausfahrk: ZAZ: A hexagonal flapjack would be much safer than square and can still tile the plane (i.e. not waste space).

Maybe they should go all the way -- make them round, soft, and covered with a blend of harmless, bio-sourced lubricants...

[i-cdn.apartmenttherapy.com image 540x360]

Nothing in your kid's eye but pure delicious.

[a3.ec-images.myspacecdn.com image 170x230]

A little late for Lenny...


*Gasp*  Not Lenny!
 
2013-03-25 02:39:21 PM
No one thought to post even ONE image?
farm1.staticflickr.com
 
2013-03-25 04:37:51 PM
I'm trying to figure out how a square has less corners than a triangle. I was told there would be no math so...I'm having trouble with this.

So a square flapjack is less injurious than a triangle flapjack because of the corners when it has more corners?

/help, I'm confused
 
2013-03-25 05:16:02 PM
www.collectedcurios.com

The "fix" didn't work out too well.
 
2013-03-25 05:25:43 PM
Could've been worse. Imagine if it had been weaponized peanut brittle.

upload.wikimedia.org

// "Flapjacks?"
 
2013-03-25 06:11:29 PM
So, a local school had an issue with a child being injured due to the shape of a food item. The principal, instead of freaking out and banning the food/expelling the thrower/etc, decided to remedy the problem by adjusting the shape of the food item.

I assume this is outrageous, though I think I'm missing what I'm supposed to be mad at...
 
2013-03-26 12:21:56 AM
Came here to see Ralphie.
Leaving ok, but it took over 70 posts.
 
2013-03-27 01:43:25 PM
upload.wikimedia.org

upload.wikimedia.org


// Next: Knuckles' sandwiches.
 
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