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(The Hill)   Hallmark cards would very much like the taxpayer to subsidize Saturday mail delivery for its $3 pieces of paper   (thehill.com) divider line 117
    More: Asinine, Hallmark, Hallmark Cards, spirit of the law, EMA, National Association of Letter Carriers  
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6782 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Mar 2013 at 2:20 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-24 12:27:28 PM  
Sarah Moe, Hallmark's federal affairs manager, said she registered as a lobbyist after the company restructured and decided to devote more resources to Washington.

Putting aside postal service issues, what sort of "federal affairs" can Hallmark be concerned about? Is government regulation choking out the noble tradition of iambic pentameter? Are they going to try to fillibuster the appointment of the next Poet Laureate?
 
2013-03-24 01:40:40 PM  
Why doesn't Hallmark start up a nationwide delivery service?
 
2013-03-24 02:23:05 PM  
So would Netflix and Amazon, I imagine.  Until UPS starts delivering on Saturday, anyway.
 
2013-03-24 02:23:57 PM  
I don't get the big deal about stripping out Saturday delivery. The US Postal Service is archaic, bloated, inefficient and ridiculously expensive. I can count on absolutely zero fingers and digits the mail that I got this week that was worth a shiat.
 
2013-03-24 02:24:22 PM  

Uzzah: Sarah Moe, Hallmark's federal affairs manager, said she registered as a lobbyist after the company restructured and decided to devote more resources to Washington.

Putting aside postal service issues, what sort of "federal affairs" can Hallmark be concerned about? Is government regulation choking out the noble tradition of iambic pentameter? Are they going to try to fillibuster the appointment of the next Poet Laureate?


international tax law, environmental regulations concerning paper processing, and copyright/trademark law to name three.
 
2013-03-24 02:26:14 PM  
The postal service is not funded with tax dollars, subby.

/unless Congress hamstrings it so much that it can't make money and has to be bailed out.
 
2013-03-24 02:27:32 PM  
"Lobbyists have also been utilizing a study by the Envelope Manufacturers Association (EMA) to bolster their case with Congress. The study says the "mailing industry" supports 8.4 million jobs, creating $1.3 trillion in sales revenue, and lists the industry jobs in each congressional district."

Will any of that work not get done just because letters aren't delivered by the USPS on Saturday?

"Oh, if I can't get this delivered on Saturday, I won't mail it" seems like a rare decision.
 
2013-03-24 02:28:21 PM  

Caelistis: I don't get the big deal about stripping out Saturday delivery. The US Postal Service is archaic, bloated, inefficient and ridiculously expensive. I can count on absolutely zero fingers and digits the mail that I got this week that was worth a shiat.


The only thing I get in the mail in my car payment statement. The only reason I haven't gone paperless on that is they charge an extra $8 a month to pay that way. Other than that I don't get anything but useless junk mail unless I order something.
 
2013-03-24 02:30:06 PM  
Yes, because the last time I was going to buy a greeting card, I stopped and thought "Well, this might get delivered on Monday, so I think I won't bother getting one."
 
2013-03-24 02:30:22 PM  

Uzzah: Sarah Moe, Hallmark's federal affairs manager, said she registered as a lobbyist after the company restructured and decided to devote more resources to Washington.

Putting aside postal service issues, what sort of "federal affairs" can Hallmark be concerned about? Is government regulation choking out the noble tradition of iambic pentameter? Are they going to try to fillibuster the appointment of the next Poet Laureate?


If you're in business, period, the federal government is an issue for you. Just its powers of taxation and regulation alone can determine if your business lives or dies, so of course a large company is going to have somebody or somebodies dealing with "federal affairs".
 
2013-03-24 02:31:23 PM  
Meant to add that your comment is still funny, Uzzah.
 
2013-03-24 02:31:49 PM  
So long as something creates jobs, it doesn't matter how much it costs or how valuable it is?  Jobs for the sake of jobs is no good reason to do something.
 
2013-03-24 02:31:53 PM  
$3? Those things are more than that now. Rip off.
 
2013-03-24 02:32:52 PM  
"greeting card makers like Hallmark that stand to take a financial hit if the decision goes through."

How the hell do they figgure that? They actually think people will stop buying cards because they wont be delivered on Saturday?
 
2013-03-24 02:34:09 PM  
gatherer.wizards.com

I see your $3 piece of paper with my $800 piece of paper.
 
2013-03-24 02:34:14 PM  
Wait...Americans get mail on Saturday?
 
2013-03-24 02:35:09 PM  

ReapTheChaos: "greeting card makers like Hallmark that stand to take a financial hit if the decision goes through."

How the hell do they figgure that? They actually think people will stop buying cards because they wont be delivered on Saturday?


Came here to post something similar. I don't understand at all how they would be affected financially. Just like those idiotic "don't buy gas today!" things, people will just buy the same gas the previous or following day.
 
2013-03-24 02:35:51 PM  
titwrench: The only thing I get in the mail in my car payment statement. The only reason I haven't gone paperless on that is they charge an extra $8 a month to pay that way.

Car payments are fixed so you probably don't need the paper anyway.

// I would get paper statements for the companies that still did the (more for electronic payments) crap. But then I would just have my bank draft a physical check with all of the relevant account info on it and the bank would send it to them. So while I received mail, I never sent mail out.

These days, I only check my snail mail when I expect netflix envelopes.
 
2013-03-24 02:36:14 PM  
First thing I would do, is to make lobbying ILLEGAL, in DC, then force congress to "telecommute" for
90% of the governments business.  At least it would make illegal lobbying harder.
 
2013-03-24 02:36:53 PM  
I run a small business and all of my checks are sent in the mail, Plenty of people depend on the good old US delivery service.
 
2013-03-24 02:39:33 PM  

titwrench: Caelistis: I don't get the big deal about stripping out Saturday delivery. The US Postal Service is archaic, bloated, inefficient and ridiculously expensive. I can count on absolutely zero fingers and digits the mail that I got this week that was worth a shiat.

The only thing I get in the mail in my car payment statement. The only reason I haven't gone paperless on that is they charge an extra $8 a month to pay that way. Other than that I don't get anything but useless junk mail unless I order something.




They charge $8 for something that saves them money? WTF?
 
2013-03-24 02:40:25 PM  
Screw Hallmark. The very first printer I bought was the end of store-bought cards. I can print them big or small and send them all. However, I think the only cards I still send out are quarter-folds which I print here and send out at holidays to clients. Otherwise, it's Guggenheim eCards.
http://guggenheim.corporateecards.com/

If the PO wants to make more money then start charging everyday rates to junk-mailers who spam our snailmail box.

And, I won't be hurting for no Saturday mail despite my business is all mail-based. They don't pick-up here, though they could if I asked, I really have no problem driving to the PO on Monday mornings to drop off a few buckets.
 
2013-03-24 02:41:21 PM  

otto the bull: I run a small business and all of my checks are sent in the mail, Plenty of people depend on the good old US delivery service.


But how much of your business depends on receiving mail on Saturday rather than the following Monday?
 
2013-03-24 02:41:39 PM  

dustman81: titwrench: Caelistis: I don't get the big deal about stripping out Saturday delivery. The US Postal Service is archaic, bloated, inefficient and ridiculously expensive. I can count on absolutely zero fingers and digits the mail that I got this week that was worth a shiat.

The only thing I get in the mail in my car payment statement. The only reason I haven't gone paperless on that is they charge an extra $8 a month to pay that way. Other than that I don't get anything but useless junk mail unless I order something.



They charge $8 for something that saves them money? WTF?


Don't get me started.
 
2013-03-24 02:42:28 PM  
Spending $5 on something you can't eat so you can prove to someone you care...forget it, I'd rather buy them a good chocolate bar with a post it note.
 
2013-03-24 02:43:48 PM  

FunkOut: $3? Those things are more than that now. Rip off.


God knows I remember the last card I bought from that monopoly (both literally the last card and figuratively in that it's the LAST card I'll buy) it cost me nearly $7 for a non-electronic piece of 8x11 paper folded in half.

/fark you Hallmark
//although I do love my electronic Galaga arcade cabinet christmas tree ornament
 
2013-03-24 02:43:53 PM  
Dear Hallmark,

Compete or die.

Sincerely,

Everyone Else
 
2013-03-24 02:46:23 PM  

Caelistis: I don't get the big deal about stripping out Saturday delivery. The US Postal Service is archaic, bloated, inefficient and ridiculously expensive. I can count on absolutely zero fingers and digits the mail that I got this week that was worth a shiat.


Inefficient? Expensive? Show me any other way to get a piece of paper across the country in 2-3 days for 45 cents. And please, no BS about how you do everything electronically - there are still things in this world that must be done by mail.
 
2013-03-24 02:48:53 PM  

otto the bull: I run a small business and all of my checks are sent in the mail, Plenty of people depend on the good old US delivery service.


Yeah, but the USPS isnt going anywhere. They're just trying to save money by having a weekend.
 
2013-03-24 02:48:53 PM  
If  Subbyknew anything, he would know he USPS doesn't get taxpayer subsidy and has been made unprofitable by the unreasonable demand of 2006 Republican Congress?BUsh demanding they pre-pay 70 years worth of retiree benefits.

They've shed many jobs, cut many post offices and done anything they can legally do to keep afloat. But the Republicans have been intent on destroying the Post Office because they do not believe in public institutions. The Post Office has, in the past, tried to expand their services offered to include more retail communications options (such as selling pre-paid cell phones) but the Congress has prevented them from doing so.

The handling of the Post Office by Republicans is a case of blatant hypocrisy. They misrun it by passing bad laws and limiting the Post Office's ability to compete, then point to it as evidence the government can't run anything. Except it only proves Republicans can't run businesses (which is why the rich upper class send their lowest performers into government service so they can't mess up the real money)
 
2013-03-24 02:49:08 PM  

titwrench: The only thing I get in the mail in my car payment statement. The only reason I haven't gone paperless on that is they charge an extra $8 a month to pay that way. Other than that I don't get anything but useless junk mail unless I order something.


I don't understand people who charge more for online vs on the phone or via snail mail.

Online is faster, and more efficient, and guaranteed not to bounce.
 
2013-03-24 02:49:31 PM  

Baldrick's Cunning Plan: Dear Hallmark,

Compete or die.

Sincerely,

Everyone Else


This. Dollar Store says 'hi'.
 
2013-03-24 02:51:19 PM  

Caelistis: I don't get the big deal about stripping out Saturday delivery. The US Postal Service is archaic, bloated, inefficient and ridiculously expensive. I can count on absolutely zero fingers and digits the mail that I got this week that was worth a shiat.


50c to deliver a letter ANYWHERE in the US is ridiculously expensive?  Yeah, UPS wouldn't touch your filthy coins for the pleasure of throwing you out of their building you peasant.  There isn't a thing wrong with the US Postal Service that couldn't be fixed by keeping some sabotaging Republican's fingers out of their pie.  As for your mail being shiat, if you were worth a shiat maybe you'd get better mail.
 
2013-03-24 02:53:17 PM  
They can stop mail delivery mon-fri also.
 
2013-03-24 02:53:27 PM  

p51d007: First thing I would do, is to make lobbying ILLEGAL, in DC, then force congress to "telecommute" for
90% of the governments business.  At least it would make illegal lobbying harder.


there are good things that get lobbied too so what then.
 
2013-03-24 02:54:51 PM  
God just shut up. Stop talking about greeting cards. Is there a bigger waste of resources out there? A more useless, perfunctory, meaningless gesture you can make? Is there anyone under the age of 60 who still honestly cares about getting a greeting card in any situation, unless it's stuffed with money?
 
2013-03-24 02:55:42 PM  

BizarreMan: titwrench: The only thing I get in the mail in my car payment statement. The only reason I haven't gone paperless on that is they charge an extra $8 a month to pay that way. Other than that I don't get anything but useless junk mail unless I order something.

I don't understand people who charge more for online vs on the phone or via snail mail.

Online is faster, and more efficient, and guaranteed not to bounce.


They don't want to pay the credit card fees and they have no competition to make them do so.
 
2013-03-24 02:55:45 PM  
I farking HATE cards. Total bullshiat waste of paper and money. Insincere, feel good, marketed to women crap. Like diamonds.

Ladies, I blame YOU for this shiat. No one gives a hit about cards, no one remembers what they say, and it's about as sincere as hiring some random bum write about your feelings to your loved ones. Crap, crap, crap, and it would be a good day when such trash is no longer a part of our culture.


Write me a short note by hand if you really give a shiat. I'll actually read that.
 
2013-03-24 02:57:02 PM  
I'm okay with Saturday mail delivery, although I get basically nothing of importance in my mailbox, and for that matter I'm okay with raising the price of a stamp to $2 where it probably belongs.

But this is completely farking stupid on Hallmark's part, and I suspect it has more to do with some midlevel executive wanting to show how much busywork he or she is doing on the Hill than with a sensible long-term business strategy.

Hallmark's $3-piece-of-paper business will erode (or, hell, grow, for all I know) at precisely the same rate regardless of Saturday mail delivery or stamp cost. If I've already decided to send a bad drawing of a cartoon cat with a weak-ass joke through the mail, I'm not gaming out the logistics or cost-efficiency of the delivery process. They should focus more on the part of their business they have some real control over, like making a product people want to buy.

And if you  do decide to lobby Congress, for fark's sake don't give an interview about it. Did Sarah Moe, Hallmark's "Federal Affairs Manager," really think anyone would be excited that she filled out the paperwork to become an official lobbyist? Oh, thank God, lobbyists are on the case. I'm sure everything will be okay now. Hooray for lobbyists, as the popular saying goes.
 
2013-03-24 02:58:21 PM  
Yeah - let's get rid of the postal service. Superficially, at least, it seems like a smart thing to do right now - and we know, from experience, how good range-of-the-moment decision making always works out.
 
2013-03-24 02:58:40 PM  
Good enough cards at the dollar store for $0.50 each. Bonus if you find a chinglish one to send!
 
2013-03-24 02:59:55 PM  

FarkinHostile: I farking HATE cards. Total bullshiat waste of paper and money. Insincere, feel good, marketed to women crap. Like diamonds.

Ladies, I blame YOU for this shiat.



Cut the ladies some slack...they gobble knob, you can pick out a card.
 
2013-03-24 03:00:11 PM  

semiotix: and for that matter I'm okay with raising the price of a stamp to $2 where it probably belongs


To clarify, because I know people get pretty het up about this kind of thing, I mean $2 for people like me who send ten letters a year but expect the mailman to check my mailbox 6 days a week just in case I have something I want to send.

Businesses or individuals who need to send tons of first-class stamped mail can have steep bulk-buy discounts to nearly what the price is now, in my benevolent mail dictatorship.
 
2013-03-24 03:02:06 PM  

Ed Willy: If  Subbyknew anything, he would know he USPS doesn't get taxpayer subsidy and has been made unprofitable by the unreasonable demand of 2006 Republican Congress?BUsh demanding they pre-pay 70 years worth of retiree benefits.

They've shed many jobs, cut many post offices and done anything they can legally do to keep afloat. But the Republicans have been intent on destroying the Post Office because they do not believe in public institutions. The Post Office has, in the past, tried to expand their services offered to include more retail communications options (such as selling pre-paid cell phones) but the Congress has prevented them from doing so.

The handling of the Post Office by Republicans is a case of blatant hypocrisy. They misrun it by passing bad laws and limiting the Post Office's ability to compete, then point to it as evidence the government can't run anything. Except it only proves Republicans can't run businesses (which is why the rich upper class send their lowest performers into government service so they can't mess up the real money)


Ebil, ebil Republicans!  If only the Democrats had recently run both Houses of Congress and held the Presidency -- then they would have fixed everything!  Hope and Change!

/Or, they'd do nothing about the Post Office regs, renew the Patriot Act, keep funding Gitmo, keep the wars going, etc, etc.
//Bush is Hitler!  Haliburton!  Faux News!
 
2013-03-24 03:05:06 PM  

BizarreMan: Online is faster, and more efficient, and guaranteed not to bounce.


spam filters, mistyped email addresses, virused up PC's, people without online access...
 
2013-03-24 03:06:10 PM  

Ed Willy: If  Subbyknew anything, he would know he USPS doesn't get taxpayer subsidy and has been made unprofitable by the unreasonable demand of 2006 Republican Congress?BUsh demanding they pre-pay 70 years worth of retiree benefits.

They've shed many jobs, cut many post offices and done anything they can legally do to keep afloat. But the Republicans have been intent on destroying the Post Office because they do not believe in public institutions. The Post Office has, in the past, tried to expand their services offered to include more retail communications options (such as selling pre-paid cell phones) but the Congress has prevented them from doing so.

The handling of the Post Office by Republicans is a case of blatant hypocrisy. They misrun it by passing bad laws and limiting the Post Office's ability to compete, then point to it as evidence the government can't run anything. Except it only proves Republicans can't run businesses (which is why the rich upper class send their lowest performers into government service so they can't mess up the real money)


Republicans are the party of people who don't need government because they're rich enough to live comfortably even if America became a third-world shiathole. The postal service? Who needs a service that charges 45¢ cents to send a letter anywhere when you can pay a commercial shipper $9 to send it to any important place faster?
 
2013-03-24 03:06:34 PM  

titwrench: Caelistis: I don't get the big deal about stripping out Saturday delivery. The US Postal Service is archaic, bloated, inefficient and ridiculously expensive. I can count on absolutely zero fingers and digits the mail that I got this week that was worth a shiat.

The only thing I get in the mail in my car payment statement. The only reason I haven't gone paperless on that is they charge an extra $8 a month to pay that way. Other than that I don't get anything but useless junk mail unless I order something.


Who did you buy a car from that charges that?

I bought a 2012 kia -- one of the cheapest crappy new cars you can get, only a hair above a Suzuki car... and even they don't charge me to receive an e-bill and pay online direct debit from my checking account.

Seriously though -- whoever you bought a car from that's pulling that, deserves to get cock punched.
 
2013-03-24 03:06:40 PM  
FarkinHostile:
Ladies, I blame YOU for this shiat. No one gives a hit about cards, no one remembers what they say, and it's about as sincere as hiring some random bum write about your feelings to your loved ones. Crap, crap, crap, and it would be a good day when such trash is no longer a part of our culture.

Hey, buddy, you can't blame all the ladies. Also, notes are totally fruity. You should have asked for beer or jerky or getting sexually harassed.

I once started a landwar is Asia with my mother when I said Mother's Day was a scam to sell bullshiat cards out of guilt. She got even angrier when I said I don't know what month it was in. She said I didn't love her because I didn't give her a card; I said the people I really care about don't get cards either.
 
2013-03-24 03:09:38 PM  

Nem Wan: Ed Willy: If  Subbyknew anything, he would know he USPS doesn't get taxpayer subsidy and has been made unprofitable by the unreasonable demand of 2006 Republican Congress?BUsh demanding they pre-pay 70 years worth of retiree benefits.

They've shed many jobs, cut many post offices and done anything they can legally do to keep afloat. But the Republicans have been intent on destroying the Post Office because they do not believe in public institutions. The Post Office has, in the past, tried to expand their services offered to include more retail communications options (such as selling pre-paid cell phones) but the Congress has prevented them from doing so.

The handling of the Post Office by Republicans is a case of blatant hypocrisy. They misrun it by passing bad laws and limiting the Post Office's ability to compete, then point to it as evidence the government can't run anything. Except it only proves Republicans can't run businesses (which is why the rich upper class send their lowest performers into government service so they can't mess up the real money)

Republicans are the party of people who don't need government because they're rich enough to live comfortably even if America became a third-world shiathole. The postal service? Who needs a service that charges 45¢ cents to send a letter anywhere when you can pay a commercial shipper $9 to send it to any important place faster?


But I thought the Republicans were all shopping at Walmart.

/Fark is so confusing sometimes...
 
2013-03-24 03:10:29 PM  
I make my own awesome cards with MS Paint.

YOUR MOVE, HALLMARK
 
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