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(NW Florida Daily News)   Pull on your good red pants, get out your best green shirt and snap on the Walkman. It's spring - time to go a'courting the ladies at Target   (nwfdailynews.com) divider line 46
    More: Florida, Walkman, Target, Walton County, U.S. Route 98, Destin  
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12607 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Mar 2013 at 1:50 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



46 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-03-24 11:18:05 AM
I'm not classy enough for Target, I stick to WalMart.
 
2013-03-24 11:57:15 AM
"You've got (sperm) on your thumb."

Best. Pick up. Line. Ever
 
2013-03-24 01:34:38 PM
You've got cum on your thumb.

Beats mine: "Nice bum, where ya from?"
 
2013-03-24 01:52:22 PM
"Attention, shoppers! Groper in aisle 6!"
 
2013-03-24 01:52:35 PM

EvilEgg: I'm not classy enough for Target, I stick to WalMart.


My favorite is the woman who loves dollar stores because she doesn't have to get "dressed up" like she does for Walmart.
 
2013-03-24 01:53:17 PM
He denied entering? Jesus, they even have monitors you can see showing you entering. Video FTW.He's done.
 
2013-03-24 01:55:58 PM
In all fairness, the female clientele ~are~ a lot hotter at target.
 
2013-03-24 02:00:25 PM
How much time in jail will this guy get?
 
2013-03-24 02:01:06 PM

jaylectricity: You've got cum on your thumb.

Beats mine: "Nice bum, where ya from?"


Mine is, As long as I have a face, you have a place to sit.
 
2013-03-24 02:04:07 PM
Back in the nineties I worked at a grocery store and one of our regulars was a crazy drunk that looked like Christopher Lloyd's character from Taxi. He would ask the ladies working there to get change out of his pocket because "my pants are too tight for large hands like mine." He came in at Christmas with mistletoe stuffed in a headband around his sloppy mop and tried to get us all to kiss him. Good times.
 
2013-03-24 02:06:14 PM
"Wet clean-up on aisle 4."
 
2013-03-24 02:10:32 PM
Lotta ITG going on in the comments on the site.
 
2013-03-24 02:10:42 PM
What's their return policy?
 
2013-03-24 02:13:02 PM
The new Target near me is actually pretty full of talent.  Maybe the Starbucks in their helps, but it's always full of 19-35yo women in yoga pants.  Which I'm ok with.
 
2013-03-24 02:16:22 PM
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com

My guess is that It was this guy.  Probably there with his brother-in-law, picking up large bags of dog food, and wearing his best white shoes.
 
2013-03-24 02:16:56 PM
Nice shoes.
 
2013-03-24 02:18:54 PM
Moments later the customer said she saw a Target employee who appeared to be upset fleeing the women's section, while the man zigzagged through the girl's clothing section

I laughed way too hard at that. Like a shark seeking his next prey.
 
2013-03-24 02:21:56 PM
He was just continuing the age old Irish tradition of fondlin o' the buttocks.
 
2013-03-24 02:22:08 PM

7KQ201_McKittrick: How much time in jail will this guy get?


He will get probation, and pay for it.  He'll also get to pay for therapy.
 
2013-03-24 02:27:38 PM
He's 69.

I'm guessing he just retired from the TSA, and is still trying to get the grope out of his system.
 
2013-03-24 02:30:15 PM
I find it peculiar, but my local Target actually does see traffic by a seemingly disproportionate volume of attractive young women. Young mothers, college girls, etc.

Not sure why that is.

Whereas my local Walmart lives up to the expectations set forth by People of Walmart.
 
2013-03-24 02:33:27 PM
This guy is truly living the dream.
 
2013-03-24 02:38:15 PM
Hey, it's Spring.
Cut the guy some slack.
 
2013-03-24 02:46:24 PM
Nuthin' like groppin' when your doppin'.
 
2013-03-24 02:48:01 PM

Katolu: He denied entering? Jesus, they even have monitors you can see showing you entering. Video FTW.He's done.


Yeah, I was amused at the fact he's going for the "What, I wasn't even in there!" defense too.  I used to work at Target and I've seen the security monitors.  Every inch of the floor except for the bathrooms is on camera.  And a good portion of the parking lot is too.
 
2013-03-24 03:03:49 PM
Why do they put * over the ss in the title, but in the article they just say ass??
Farking idiotic.
 
2013-03-24 03:03:56 PM
While I do live in the area, I'd like to point out that I have a perfectly valid alibi.

/this time
 
2013-03-24 03:04:11 PM

Rufus Lee King: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 400x300]


img29.imageshack.us
 
2013-03-24 03:08:44 PM

Moonfisher: Back in the nineties I worked at a grocery store and one of our regulars was a crazy drunk that looked like Christopher Lloyd's character from Taxi. He would ask the ladies working there to get change out of his pocket because "my pants are too tight for large hands like mine." He came in at Christmas with mistletoe stuffed in a headband around his sloppy mop and tried to get us all to kiss him. Good times.


So... was he a good kisser?
 
2013-03-24 03:10:06 PM
Half a lifetime ago, I used to work at the local silly college.  We called this Spandex season and it was good.
 
2013-03-24 03:19:10 PM

BarkingUnicorn: 7KQ201_McKittrick: How much time in jail will this guy get?

He will get probation, and pay for it.  He'll also get to pay for therapy.


I guess that's all for the groping but dumbass also lied to the cops. Isn't it obstruction of justice?
 
2013-03-24 03:22:33 PM

EvilEgg: I'm not classy enough for Target, I stick to WalMart.


I'm not classy enough for WalMart. The women there are too high maintenance.

www.demeterclarc.com
 
2013-03-24 03:30:26 PM
Grandpa Howard: What was he wearing? Well, uh, let's see, he was wearing a red argyle sweater, and tan trousers, and red shoes... Hmm? No, he's not retarded.
 
2013-03-24 03:43:06 PM
I don't know how the police department in the article gets away with arresting him before identifying him. If you transport someone against their will, they're arrested. You can't bring him back to be ID'd. You have to bring the victim to him or do a photo line up. So they arrested him before they knew it was him. Terrible police work.
 
2013-03-24 05:37:03 PM

Dog Man: I don't know how the police department in the article gets away with arresting him before identifying him. If you transport someone against their will, they're arrested. You can't bring him back to be ID'd. You have to bring the victim to him or do a photo line up. So they arrested him before they knew it was him. Terrible police work.


I think that called "detintion", police around here do it all the time.
 
2013-03-24 05:39:26 PM
Or detention...
 
2013-03-24 05:53:24 PM
Sounds like one Wild and CRAZY GUY!
 
2013-03-24 05:54:15 PM

Dog Man: I don't know how the police department in the article gets away with arresting him before identifying him. If you transport someone against their will, they're arrested. You can't bring him back to be ID'd. You have to bring the victim to him or do a photo line up. So they arrested him before they knew it was him. Terrible police work.


This week's contestant on "Got No Clue, So I'm Just Making shiat Up"...
 
2013-03-24 06:30:37 PM
69 years old. Do you think he was just released from a mental hospital or did he just wake up one day and say "fark it. I just don't care anymore".
 
2013-03-24 07:32:34 PM
Well, I learned that you can say "Move that ass" in the article but not the headline.
 
2013-03-24 09:42:16 PM

big pig peaches: 69 years old. Do you think he was just released from a mental hospital or did he just wake up one day and say "fark it. I just don't care anymore".


Have old people resorted to crime so they can get three hots and a cot + healthcare yet?
 
2013-03-24 10:09:52 PM

shanrick: "You've got (sperm) on your thumb."

Best. Pick up. Line. Ever


I pictured Henry Gibson riding his tricycle chasing Ruth Buzzy on Laugh-In sounding like Wolfman Jack saying that!

Stepping away from the computer for awhile now!
 
2013-03-25 01:23:19 AM

just_another_asshole/jaa: shanrick: "You've got (sperm) on your thumb."

Best. Pick up. Line. Ever

I pictured Henry Gibson riding his tricycle chasing Ruth Buzzy on Laugh-In sounding like Wolfman Jack saying that!

Stepping away from the computer for awhile now!



You sound old.


/Wanna play checkers?
 
2013-03-25 11:41:25 AM

italie: In all fairness, the female clientele ~are~ a lot hotter at target.


Mrs. Anomaly, while shopping at Target, had a customer solicit her for a photo shoot for bigcuties.com. I took a look at the site (NSFW, of course) and advised her that she did not want to know what it was.
 
2013-03-25 12:53:24 PM
I remember back when old guys could grope and fondle away and society used to just kind of laugh them off as dirty old men. Now I don't even have thatto look forward to in my old age.
 
2013-03-25 07:01:38 PM

Amos Quito: just_another_asshole/jaa: shanrick: "You've got (sperm) on your thumb."

Best. Pick up. Line. Ever

I pictured Henry Gibson riding his tricycle chasing Ruth Buzzy on Laugh-In sounding like Wolfman Jack saying that!

Stepping away from the computer for awhile now!


You sound old.


/Wanna play checkers?


I prefer cribbage.
 
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