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(IGN)   Ten reasons why Obi-Wan Kenobi was the worst Jedi ever   (ign.com) divider line 73
    More: Interesting, Obi-Wan, Star Wars, Jedi, Sith Lord, Count Dooku, Qui-Gon, Rebel Alliance, Alderaan  
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11176 clicks; posted to Geek » on 23 Mar 2013 at 8:09 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-23 08:08:08 PM
Because he was Alec Guinness not on the list.
 
2013-03-23 08:10:22 PM
All these reasons come down to "Because Lucas just made it up as he went along" and then when he made the prequels just came up with any old plot to shoehorn characters in even though the original trilogy didn't even hint that they were connected.
 
2013-03-23 08:19:12 PM
It sucks to be a Jedi.. people think the Jedi have all the answers, they can't be wrong, they can't have a bad day... I just wanted to go fishing.. but NOOOOO! I gotta train this stupid kid and have no idea how because I didn't have a mother!
 
2013-03-23 08:21:03 PM
I have a bad feeling about this...
 
2013-03-23 08:22:17 PM
I felt a great disturbance in the force, as if a million voices screamed out in butt hurt then where suddenly silenced,
 
2013-03-23 08:23:44 PM
Considering that the prequels never existed, this list is flawed.
 
2013-03-23 08:35:21 PM
Did the writer really pull the independent contractor bit about the Death Star?  Somebody needs to tell him to stop streaming movies when he has a deadline looming.
 
2013-03-23 08:37:16 PM
Well that was stupid.  Most were "Obi Wan did not act in a perfectly optimized way and/or didn't act on the script of another movie" - and then there was one of "Jedi ghosts must be space heaters".
 
2013-03-23 08:37:26 PM
10 reasons why this author and IGN have absolutely nothing else to write about, so they have resorted to taking drugs and talking about nothing of relevance whatsoever:

1. No one reads their shiat anymore
...
10. Really, no one reads this shiat anymore.
 
2013-03-23 08:38:20 PM
He wasn't just incompetent, he was also a huge dick. When your supposed best friend forever who turned evil is laying on the ground after a duel, missing all his arms and legs, and is ON FIRE in incredible pain, the right thing to do is to put him out of his misery with a quick swipe of your lightsaber. Just walking away and leaving him there in agony is a bit of an asshole move.
 
2013-03-23 08:39:19 PM
Well, that was phoned in. Note to self: IGN joins the IO9 League of FAIL.
 
2013-03-23 08:41:19 PM

Flint Ironstag: All these reasons come down to "Because Lucas just made it up as he went along" and then when he made the prequels just came up with any old plot to shoehorn characters in even though the original trilogy didn't even hint that they were connected.


Just about everything Alec Guinness' Obi-Wan said ended up being contradicted by a later movie.

"Darth Vader killed your father."
"Yoda, the Jedi master who trained me."
"Only Imperial stormtroopers are this precise."
 
2013-03-23 08:42:01 PM
Um, he explained that.

"Then the Emperor has already won".

He was talking about how bad he'd f*cked sh*t up.
 
2013-03-23 08:45:12 PM
sprgrss: Considering that the prequels never existed, this list is flawed.

But they do exist, unfortunately.
 
2013-03-23 09:01:30 PM
Pretty dumb list, but that's the greatest sleeping bag ever.
 
2013-03-23 09:08:10 PM
This is still funnier.   Qui-gon worst Jedi ever.
 
2013-03-23 09:10:54 PM
This one confuses me:

5) He killed the Jedi
At the Emperor's bidding, Darth Vader was almost singlehandedly responsible for the destruction of the entire Jedi Order, thus allowing Palpatine to take control of the galaxy with virtually no opposition. Oh well, what can you do, right? It's not like there was a moment when Darth Vader was completely at the mercy of a Jedi.

EXCEPT THERE TOTALLY WAS.  At the end of Revenge of the Sith, Obi-Wan cuts off Anakin's limbs. Sure, he  could have ended Anakin's misery and saved the Jedi a galaxy of hurt by decapitating him but instead, Kenobi just walks away. Turns out Karma's a Sith.


Um, hadn't the Emperor already given the order to execute Order 66?
 
2013-03-23 09:13:13 PM
I'm just going to take this moment to point out that it was JAR JAR who called for the vote that gave Chancellor Palpatine those emergency powers.
 
2013-03-23 09:33:52 PM

Bondith: Flint Ironstag: All these reasons come down to "Because Lucas just made it up as he went along" and then when he made the prequels just came up with any old plot to shoehorn characters in even though the original trilogy didn't even hint that they were connected.

Just about everything Alec Guinness' Obi-Wan said ended up being contradicted by a later movie.

"Darth Vader killed your father."
"Yoda, the Jedi master who trained me."
"Only Imperial stormtroopers are this precise."


If you think for a second, that last one might not actually be wrong.  Maybe blasters are similar to revolutionary war muskets, where a unit of soldiers all being able to hit the broadside of a sandcrawler WOULD be considered 'precise'.

Maybe the half dozen rebels who are the only ones to reliably kill people with them sprung for the fancy models with sights and rifled barrels.
 
2013-03-23 09:51:08 PM

Parthenogenetic: This one confuses me:

5) He killed the Jedi
At the Emperor's bidding, Darth Vader was almost singlehandedly responsible for the destruction of the entire Jedi Order, thus allowing Palpatine to take control of the galaxy with virtually no opposition. Oh well, what can you do, right? It's not like there was a moment when Darth Vader was completely at the mercy of a Jedi.

EXCEPT THERE TOTALLY WAS.  At the end of Revenge of the Sith, Obi-Wan cuts off Anakin's limbs. Sure, he  could have ended Anakin's misery and saved the Jedi a galaxy of hurt by decapitating him but instead, Kenobi just walks away. Turns out Karma's a Sith.

Um, hadn't the Emperor already given the order to execute Order 66?


Right, but then afterwards Darth Vader led everyone else in wiping out the rest of the Jedi who escaped.
 
2013-03-23 09:52:42 PM
Also known as why IGN is stupid and you should feel stupid for having read that drivel.
 
2013-03-23 09:58:13 PM
I thought Anakin turned because Obi-Wan got BBQ sauce on his robes
 
2013-03-23 10:07:07 PM
I made it to the second one before I couldn't read that crap.  Yoda struggled with Dooku, why the hell was that Kenobi's fault?
 
2013-03-23 10:49:15 PM
(I'mokaywiththis.jpg)

Plus #6 came from 'Clerks'.

Nice to see at least a few of the plot holes laid out so neatly.
 
2013-03-23 10:52:07 PM

Flint Ironstag: All these reasons come down to "Because Lucas just made it up as he went along" and then when he made the prequels just came up with any old plot to shoehorn characters in even though the original trilogy didn't even hint that they were connected.


This. Also, yourfatherwantedyoutohavethis.jpg.
 
2013-03-23 10:52:16 PM
In no way shape or form do Jedi's have precognitive abilities. Discuss.
 
2013-03-23 11:04:05 PM
FTFA:  It's 100% on Obi-Wan that the Death Star was ever built in the first place. During Attack of the Clones, Kenobi has a chance to defeat the guy with the Death Star plans, Count Dooku, who is undoubtedly strong in the Force but even more undoubtedly OLD AS F#@&.
In the single most embarrassing moment of Obi-Wan's career, he loses to a man who is approximately 438 years old. The only thing more shocking than Obi-Wan's failure is the fact that Dooku's weapon isn't four lightsabers at the end of a Zimmer frame.


What I can't figure out about that fight scene with Dooku is this:  Saruman pinches off that giant metal column so that it will land on the unconscious Obi-Wan & Skywalker.  So the obvious thing for Yoda to do is... put his lightsaber away and force-push the humungous mass of metal, rather than easily pull or push the 300 pounds or so (tops) of sleeping human flesh out of the way then bounce onto Dookus back and give him a nice lightsaber tracheotomy?  Dafuq? The guy can think fast enough on his feet to bounce around like a farking superball wielding a sword fer fraks sake, but he can't think fast enough to pull some people out of the way?  He'd rather move a Greyhound bus than a feather?  GAAAAH!

\and what the hell is an aluminum falcon?
 
2013-03-23 11:18:00 PM
www.tomopop.com
11.) He was not a pony.
 
2013-03-23 11:19:01 PM

somemoron: What I can't figure out about that fight scene with Dooku is this:  Saruman pinches off that giant metal column so that it will land on the unconscious Obi-Wan & Skywalker.  So the obvious thing for Yoda to do is... put his lightsaber away and force-push the humungous mass of metal, rather than easily pull or push the 300 pounds or so (tops) of sleeping human flesh out of the way then bounce onto Dookus back and give him a nice lightsaber tracheotomy?  Dafuq? The guy can think fast enough on his feet to bounce around like a farking superball wielding a sword fer fraks sake, but he can't think fast enough to pull some people out of the way?  He'd rather move a Greyhound bus than a feather?  GAAAAH!


I thought the exact same thing at the time.

Plus the prequels were just so CGI laden. I swear if the script called for Obi-Wan to drink a cup of coffee Lucas would have chosen to do it with CGI and a green screen.
 
2013-03-23 11:30:55 PM

Mad_Radhu: He wasn't just incompetent, he was also a huge dick. When your supposed best friend forever who turned evil is laying on the ground after a duel, missing all his arms and legs, and is ON FIRE in incredible pain, the right thing to do is to put him out of his misery with a quick swipe of your lightsaber. Just walking away and leaving him there in agony is a bit of an asshole move.


He kinda has to walk away or the first three movies evaporate into an alternate universe. Never mind that it's totally out of character, we have a plot hole, pile of shiat, and a shovel..."ACTION!"...
 
2013-03-23 11:31:13 PM

Flint Ironstag: somemoron: What I can't figure out about that fight scene with Dooku is this:  Saruman pinches off that giant metal column so that it will land on the unconscious Obi-Wan & Skywalker.  So the obvious thing for Yoda to do is... put his lightsaber away and force-push the humungous mass of metal, rather than easily pull or push the 300 pounds or so (tops) of sleeping human flesh out of the way then bounce onto Dookus back and give him a nice lightsaber tracheotomy?  Dafuq? The guy can think fast enough on his feet to bounce around like a farking superball wielding a sword fer fraks sake, but he can't think fast enough to pull some people out of the way?  He'd rather move a Greyhound bus than a feather?  GAAAAH!

I thought the exact same thing at the time.

Plus the prequels were just so CGI laden. I swear if the script called for Obi-Wan to drink a cup of coffee Lucas would have chosen to do it with CGI and a green screen.


That's so when coffee drinking is no longer socially acceptable he can replace the coffee mug with a walkie-talkie.
 
2013-03-23 11:56:03 PM
I hate hate HATE the prequels, but I'm drunk, so here's my shot:

1) The answer is the same for every "would Superhero A beat Superhero B?" hypothetical: the winner is whoever the writer wants to win. How else could Batman ever possibly beat Superman? Or how could the Punisher possibly kill any X-Man? For story reasons, Maul HAD to kill Qui-Gon.

2) Lazy writing. "Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is." -Mutherfarkin' Yoda. Replace "size" with "age". Book it. Dooku.

3) One of the few compelling themes in the Prequels was the idea that regardless of the machinations of Palpatine, the Republic was dying. The Galactic Senate was ineffective, had weak leadership and rife corruption, and even the Jedi council had felt its connection to the Force diminished, and their ability to use it to guide their decisions clouded. Obi was barely a Jedi himself when he became Anakin's master, and was a poor choice to be named Master of such a powerful, willful padawan as Anakin proved to be. But this is like blaming Eddard Stark for trusting Littlefinger and Varys. It was an error that served the narrative.

4) Again, the dark side of the Force seeks to obscure, and in the final days of the Republic, even the Jedi council was unable to use it to properly guide their decisions, as stated.

5) Obi left Vader mostly without limbs, and within feet of a river of flowing lava. I'm no Volcanist, but I think it would be reasonable to assume such injuries, and that proximity to molten lava would be highly fatal. Yeah, a mercy beheading would have been a kindness, but this is a guy who had just force-choked his beloved, knowing she was preggers. Fark him, and let him suffer an agonizingly slow death.

6) The Death Star was a battle station, not an exploratory craft like Star Trek's Enterprise. As such, its highly unlikely it was manned by anything other than evil Imperial Troops, evil Imperial pilots, and very evil Imperial janitors, whose cadre of trash compactor monsters were both feared and hated. DEATH TO THEM ALL!

7) OK, this is actually a legit beef. "Let's post one of our last living Jedi Knights within a landspeeder's drive of the progeny of the primary reason why he's one of our last living Jedi Knights, but let's have the kid be raised by ignorant moisture farmers!" Really? As adept as Vader was at hunting down force-sensates, it would have far more sensible for Obi to simple raise Luke from infancy, and prepare/train him for his inevitable show-down. And this still could have served the needs of the writers.

8) I guess this is kind of legit, but if Luke had known all along that Leia was his sister, it could have been more easily detected by Vader, which was the whole point of keeping the twins apart in the first place. If anything, Obi should have thanked Luke for informing him about Leia's call for help, and that he'd handle it alone. Of course, there goes Ep 4's plot right down the shiatter...

9) My impression is that Force ghosts are only apparent to Jedi, or at the bare minimum Force-sensates with at least some marginal training. That's why only Luke could see the gang at the end of Ep 6. And why Obi-ghost would be unable to call upon Han, Leia, the Rebel's Tauntaun herder, etc.

10) Flawed premise. Obi (not to mention Yoda) withholding this info from Luke had nothing to do with Luke being able to sense good/paternal love from Vader. Furthermore, the knowledge that Vader was Luke's father (and that Obi farked him up big time) would only make him more receptive to the idea that Vader was redeemable, something Obi had good reason to believe was not possible.
 
2013-03-24 12:12:17 AM
Not the first time I've thought of the Star Wars saga basically being a biography of Obi Wan's failure of a life.

But then, ever since Part One came out I've been confused as to why the Republic was supposedly better than the Empire. They both look pretty nasty to me.
 
2013-03-24 12:12:31 AM

mariner314: I thought Anakin turned because Obi-Wan got BBQ sauce on his robes


i172.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-24 12:15:34 AM

somemoron: What I can't figure out about that fight scene with Dooku is this:  Saruman pinches off that giant metal column so that it will land on the unconscious Obi-Wan & Skywalker.  So the obvious thing for Yoda to do is... put his lightsaber away and force-push the humungous mass of metal, rather than easily pull or push the 300 pounds or so (tops) of sleeping human flesh out of the way then bounce onto Dookus back and give him a nice lightsaber tracheotomy?  Dafuq? The guy can think fast enough on his feet to bounce around like a farking superball wielding a sword fer fraks sake, but he can't think fast enough to pull some people out of the way?  He'd rather move a Greyhound bus than a feather?  GAAAAH!


My chief complaint (besides the simple fact that the prequels suck) was the battle between Anakin and Obi-Wan on Mustafar.  Specifically, the part where they're each standing on top of these hovering droids over a river of magma.  Why the hell didn't Obi-Wan reach out with his Awesome Force Powers of Awesome and tip Anakin's damned droid over?

Think about it:  Obi-wan has always carried himself as honorable and noble and yada-yada-yada, but he's certainly not above an underhanded trick or two when it serves his purpose.  So, pushing Anakin's droid over is not outside the realm of Obi-wan dickishness.

Anakin, surprised and unprepared by this unconventional attack, flails for a few seconds trying to Force Jump to the neaby banks of the River Crispy, but eventually falls ungloriously into the Red-Hot Magma of fark You.

Obi-wan wipes his hands, goes and gets Padme, and they run off to a nearby BBQ joint to commemorate their fallen friend and husband in the only way possible.  Problem solved!

Nope, Obi-wan turns out to not have any Obi-balls.  Instead, he gives up this golden opportunity and instead chooses the much-less effective slice, dice, and broil tactic, cries about how much he loved Anakin while watching Anakin become a bonfire, and then casually takes Anakin's lightsaber, thinking, "gosh, this might come in handy 20 years from now after Stumpy over there kills a couple billion innocent sentient beings."  The only reason he didn't rub his Obi-balls on Anakin's carbonized forehead was because he didn't have any.

And let's not even start on Padme.  Wuss.  Seriously.  Wuss.  She led the military of her home planet to victory over a superior invading force at age 13!  Afterwhich she becomes a senator (and was apparently effective enough in that job to get targetted for assassination,) deals with Jar-Jar Binks, (a creature so irredeemably stupid that any other person would quickly and enthusiastically encourage the genocide of his entire species,) handles Anakin's adolescent tantrums with a much greater amount of tolerance than is required, and behaves in an overall bad-ass fashion.  Until, of course, she give birth.  Then, it "fark you, kiddies, I'm outta here!"  Yeah, good job there, sister.
 
2013-03-24 12:18:38 AM

Oldiron_79: sprgrss: Considering that the prequels never existed, this list is flawed.

But they do exist, unfortunately.


Blasphemer! The prequels do not exist, have never existed, and will never exist. Those that believe otherwise have obviously been contaminated by the dark side into accepting a reality that is completely without merit. Those susceptible to this evil include the pathetic mentally damaged beings that claim that there was once a Star Wars holiday program. This is all pure propaganda put forth by the Sith themselves in an attempt drive a wedge between rational thinkers and empire stooges.
 
2013-03-24 12:32:23 AM
11) Because Lucas can't write for shiat.

Also, RE the Blasters as Muskets... That works for the Fantasy translation of Star Wars I've been tinkering with for a while. (Fantasy with some Magi-punk)

1) Planets are cities (Alderaan, Coruscant, Correlia) or regions (the Hoth Glaciers, the Dagobah Swamps, the Endorrian Forests).

2) Death Star is giant magical flying fortress the size of a mountain. Non-Fighter-starships are airships of various stripes. Fighters are a mix of standard fantasy flying mounts - gryphons, wyverns, drakes.

3) Droids are golems, but not as ubiqutous. C3PO is an Elf. R2D2 is likely a Gnome.

4) Blasters are early early gunpowder weapons, crossbows, and bows - but most combat is melee, Western European straight sword, not fencing.

5) The Jedi were DnD-style Paladins who went for mobility and fencing, not heavy armor. Lightsabers are mythril foils, strong and sharp

6) Anakin rose through the ranks of the military during the civil wars (Clone Wars). He caught the attention of General Kenobi, who tutored him in Jedi ways (illegally), then brought him into the order before the war was over.

7) Princess Leia is the niece of the Prince of Alderaan, daughter of the Prince's sister who died in childbirth.This would have been just after the civil war in the Republic (Clone Wars). Anakin took his son with him to the capitol city.

8) Luke lived with Anakin until he was 3, shortly before hte final showdown between Palpatine and the Jedi. Luke was sent away with Obi-Won, along with Anakin's sword, to be somewhere safe until the trouble were over. This was a ploy to get both Obi-Wan and Luke out of the city.

9) Politics divided Anakin and Obi-Wan originally. It became more after Anakin met with Obi-Wan to get Luke back. Obi-wan attacked Anakin and left him for dead (Classic Hero/Villain mistake. Gotta have it.) After this is when the newly crowned Emperor made his new order of knights, who would be titled Darth.

Wow I spent too long on this.
 
2013-03-24 12:37:58 AM
A lot of those reasons are pretty far-stretching and grasping at straws. Kenobi really probably should have told Luke about Leia and Vader/dad though, I'll concede that much.
 
2013-03-24 12:38:27 AM

Summercat: Wow I spent too long on this.


i have no farking clue what your post is about, but it reminded me how easy it is to convert star wars to DnD via KotOR rules. good times
 
2013-03-24 12:57:32 AM

Karac: Maybe the half dozen rebels who are the only ones to reliably kill people with them sprung for the fancy models with sights and rifled barrels.


I find the notion of rifling the barrel of a laser (or plasma) weapon to utterly hilarious for some reason...
 
2013-03-24 01:33:39 AM

RatMaster999: Karac: Maybe the half dozen rebels who are the only ones to reliably kill people with them sprung for the fancy models with sights and rifled barrels.

I find the notion of rifling the barrel of a laser (or plasma) weapon to utterly hilarious for some reason...


Probably the fact that spinning a burst of energy to correct its balance and cancel out the affects of any aerodynamic flaws is utterly nonsensical.
 
2013-03-24 02:16:22 AM
The best thing about that "article" was the clip at the end of the son watching the ESB reveal, and making me realize how much I'm looking forward to introducing my yet-unborn son to Star Wars.

/starting with ANH, of course
//was unaware of the existence of other films than ESB/RotJ
///we'll manage to squeeze in some stick time on TIE Fighter/X-Wing
 
2013-03-24 02:50:15 AM
Most of these reasons are pretty damn weak.  I regarded Obi-Wan as overall a pretty competent Jedi.  His only major mistake in the film was not finishing off Anakin after cutting off his legs.  I understand why he was so distraught, but had he just stabbed Anakin through the heart he would have denied the Emperor his most powerful agent.
 
2013-03-24 03:48:21 AM

thecpt: Summercat: Wow I spent too long on this.

i have no farking clue what your post is about, but it reminded me how easy it is to convert star wars to DnD via KotOR rules. good times


Standard Fantasy version of Star Wars. Things to properly translate the setting and keep the plot.
 
2013-03-24 06:52:00 AM
Is he bothered?
i759.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-24 08:29:57 AM

Dawnrazor: Obi-wan wipes his hands, goes and gets Padme, and they run off to a nearby BBQ joint to commemorate their fallen friend and husband in the only way possible. Problem solved!


I liked your post, but must confess, I first read this as "Obi-wan wipes his hands, goes and gets on his Padme, ..."

Yet another change that would have made the prequels bearable.
 
2013-03-24 08:39:24 AM

Summercat: 11) Because Lucas can't write for shiat.

Also, RE the Blasters as Muskets... That works for the Fantasy translation of Star Wars I've been tinkering with for a while. (Fantasy with some Magi-punk)

1) Planets are cities (Alderaan, Coruscant, Correlia) or regions (the Hoth Glaciers, the Dagobah Swamps, the Endorrian Forests).

2) Death Star is giant magical flying fortress the size of a mountain. Non-Fighter-starships are airships of various stripes. Fighters are a mix of standard fantasy flying mounts - gryphons, wyverns, drakes.

3) Droids are golems, but not as ubiqutous. C3PO is an Elf. R2D2 is likely a Gnome.

4) Blasters are early early gunpowder weapons, crossbows, and bows - but most combat is melee, Western European straight sword, not fencing.

5) The Jedi were DnD-style Paladins who went for mobility and fencing, not heavy armor. Lightsabers are mythril foils, strong and sharp

6) Anakin rose through the ranks of the military during the civil wars (Clone Wars). He caught the attention of General Kenobi, who tutored him in Jedi ways (illegally), then brought him into the order before the war was over.

7) Princess Leia is the niece of the Prince of Alderaan, daughter of the Prince's sister who died in childbirth.This would have been just after the civil war in the Republic (Clone Wars). Anakin took his son with him to the capitol city.

8) Luke lived with Anakin until he was 3, shortly before hte final showdown between Palpatine and the Jedi. Luke was sent away with Obi-Won, along with Anakin's sword, to be somewhere safe until the trouble were over. This was a ploy to get both Obi-Wan and Luke out of the city.

9) Politics divided Anakin and Obi-Wan originally. It became more after Anakin met with Obi-Wan to get Luke back. Obi-wan attacked Anakin and left him for dead (Classic Hero/Villain mistake. Gotta have it.) After this is when the newly crowned Emperor made his new order of knights, who would be titled Darth.

Wow I spent too long on this.


I like this. Change the names just enough not to get sued, make it a RPG (D20 system), get it on Kickstarter ASAP.
 
2013-03-24 09:02:21 AM
Philbb: Oldiron_79: sprgrss: Considering that the prequels never existed, this list is flawed.

But they do exist, unfortunately.

Blasphemer! The prequels do not exist, have never existed, and will never exist. Those that believe otherwise have obviously been contaminated by the dark side into accepting a reality that is completely without merit. Those susceptible to this evil include the pathetic mentally damaged beings that claim that there was once a Star Wars holiday program. This is all pure propaganda put forth by the Sith themselves in an attempt drive a wedge between rational thinkers and empire stooges.


I did not say they was good or I liked them but I'm not gonna bury my head in the sand and pretend they didn't exist. Jar Jar may have been the greatest crime against humanity since the holocaust, but I'm not gonna pretend like it never happened just because its bad.
 
2013-03-24 09:06:05 AM

grinding_journalist: making me realize how much I'm looking forward to introducing my yet-unborn son to Star Wars.

/starting with ANH, of course


ANH, ESB, TPM, AotC, RotS, RotJ. Show him the films in that order.

Think about it- it's the best way to preserve the narrative.
 
2013-03-24 09:17:32 AM
11.  He raised Anakin into the most whiny snot-nosed doucebag in the galaxy.
 
2013-03-24 10:05:14 AM
Star Wars is LOADED with plot holes (as many movies are!).

For a long time, the RPG source books, video games and extended universe served as a means of explaining those plot holes. But then the prequels came out and determined to provide Lucas's "official" explanations to questions that had already been largely resolved by the extended universe.

So now, the problem is that the official canon is stupid and once-great characters are now revealed to be the inevitable idiots they always were. And that gives IGN's "writers" the ability to post linkbait garbage to not only state the obvious, but also to prove what inevitable idiots THEY are.

Star Wars has become a circle of stupidity, thanks to those prequels.
 
2013-03-24 11:48:37 AM

Gonz: grinding_journalist: making me realize how much I'm looking forward to introducing my yet-unborn son to Star Wars.

/starting with ANH, of course

ANH, ESB, TPM, AotC, RotS, RotJ. Show him the films in that order.

Think about it- it's the best way to preserve the narrative.


This. The cliffhanger of ESB leads to the backstory and you get the reveal of twins at the end of RotS to lead to RotJ
 
2013-03-24 12:00:28 PM

grinding_journalist: The best thing about that "article" was the clip at the end of the son watching the ESB reveal, and making me realize how much I'm looking forward to introducing my yet-unborn son to Star Wars.

/starting with ANH, of course
//was unaware of the existence of other films than ESB/RotJ
///we'll manage to squeeze in some stick time on TIE Fighter/X-Wing


Let me validate you. My fiancee had never seen Star Wars, For those saying it's just for kids, she was thrilled by the reveal at the end of ESB. She had somehow managed to avoid knowing over a lifetime ANYTHING about it. Yes, your kid will love it.
 
2013-03-24 12:08:26 PM

secularsage: Star Wars is LOADED with plot holes (as many movies are!).

For a long time, the RPG source books, video games and extended universe served as a means of explaining those plot holes. But then the prequels came out and determined to provide Lucas's "official" explanations to questions that had already been largely resolved by the extended universe.

So now, the problem is that the official canon is stupid and once-great characters are now revealed to be the inevitable idiots they always were. And that gives IGN's "writers" the ability to post linkbait garbage to not only state the obvious, but also to prove what inevitable idiots THEY are.

Star Wars has become a circle of stupidity, thanks to those prequels.


This. In short, the prequels answered all the questions nobody was asking, and made stupider answers out of stuff already taken care of. REALLY, the Stormtroopers are clones of Boba Fett's dad? Is that why Vader likes Fett or something? Why does everything revolved around Tattooine? I mean shiat, everything happens out there. Why do people not remember Jedi? It's only been 20 ye- you know fark it. Let's just say it made things dumber.
 
2013-03-24 12:55:21 PM

schpanky: This. The cliffhanger of ESB leads to the backstory and you get the reveal of twins at the end of RotS to lead to RotJ


I kinda agree with you, but to a four year old, the "time jumping" might get a bit confusing, and my other worry is that since youth colors your memories with nostalgia, I'd rather his first exposure to Star Wars be the original trilogy, so that it's the first Star Wars he sees.
 
2013-03-24 01:22:04 PM
A celibate, religious monk sucks at raising children? Ya don't say!
 
2013-03-24 02:51:32 PM

Flint Ironstag: All these reasons come down to "Because Lucas just made it up as he went along" and then when he made the prequels just came up with any old plot to shoehorn characters in even though the original trilogy didn't even hint that they were connected.


Basically this. Most of these things have to do with the prequels, which as far as Obie Wan's backstory is concerned, has incredible inconsistencies with his portrayal and dialogue in the original trilogy.

A New Hope: "Anakin was a good friend"

All the Prequels: "Geez you're so annoying. Stop being so annoying."
 
2013-03-24 03:05:49 PM

bifford: Most of these reasons are pretty damn weak.  I regarded Obi-Wan as overall a pretty competent Jedi.  His only major mistake in the film was not finishing off Anakin after cutting off his legs.  I understand why he was so distraught, but had he just stabbed Anakin through the heart he would have denied the Emperor his most powerful agent.


Anakin was helpless. If you go by the other films, striking down a defenceless person leads to the Dark Side. Anakin killing Dooku in cold blood showed he was on the path to the Dark Side. The Emperor wanted Luke to strike him down to convert him. Obi Wan could kill an enemy in combat but not slaughter one who was already defeated.
 
2013-03-24 04:00:12 PM

Gordon Bennett: bifford: Most of these reasons are pretty damn weak.  I regarded Obi-Wan as overall a pretty competent Jedi.  His only major mistake in the film was not finishing off Anakin after cutting off his legs.  I understand why he was so distraught, but had he just stabbed Anakin through the heart he would have denied the Emperor his most powerful agent.

Anakin was helpless. If you go by the other films, striking down a defenceless person leads to the Dark Side. Anakin killing Dooku in cold blood showed he was on the path to the Dark Side. The Emperor wanted Luke to strike him down to convert him. Obi Wan could kill an enemy in combat but not slaughter one who was already defeated.


I got to thinking about this the other day:

Darth Vader was never really that evil.  Sure, he killed Dooku after Palpatine's triple-dog-dare, but when he faced Obi-Wan in the Death Star and the 'mentor' who had crippled him and left him to burn lowered his guard, Vader gave him a quick clean death and lightly stomped on his clothes.  True evil would have given Obi-Wan the same Monty Python's Black Knight treatment that Obi-Wan had given him and then dragged the bloodied corpse through the Death Star's hallways until he reached a trash furnace or something.  Eye for an eye and all that.
 
2013-03-24 05:16:54 PM
Pratchett had the right idea about plot holes. Most can be explained away as meddling by the History Monks, and the rest are because of Quantum.
 
2013-03-24 05:29:53 PM

Gordon Bennett: bifford: Most of these reasons are pretty damn weak.  I regarded Obi-Wan as overall a pretty competent Jedi.  His only major mistake in the film was not finishing off Anakin after cutting off his legs.  I understand why he was so distraught, but had he just stabbed Anakin through the heart he would have denied the Emperor his most powerful agent.

Anakin was helpless. If you go by the other films, striking down a defenceless person leads to the Dark Side. Anakin killing Dooku in cold blood showed he was on the path to the Dark Side. The Emperor wanted Luke to strike him down to convert him. Obi Wan could kill an enemy in combat but not slaughter one who was already defeated.


I really hate that trope. The whole "I killed legions of people who were a nominal threat in battle but killing a powerful enemy who got heavily maimed during combat who can be rehabilitated is somehow evil." As if killing a single stormtrooper, who is about as dangerous to a jedi as an army of farmers is to a lvl 35 Bhaalspawn, is somehow morally better than two more or less equally powerful warriors fighting to the death.


Slight spoiler warning.

That is why I am considering to stoo watching "once upon a time" the moron killed numerous enemy guards yet killing the person who killed your mother and simultaniously saving someone's life somehow caused the heart to be "darkened."
 
2013-03-24 06:06:34 PM
Something I've noticed about Anakin and Luke is throughout their respective trilogies, they're both being manipulated. Anakin got manipulated by Palpatine, and Luke was manipulated by Obi-Wan and Yoda.

"Yeah, when exactly  were you guys going to tell me Darth Vader was my father?"
 
2013-03-24 08:41:39 PM

DerAppie: I really hate that trope. The whole "I killed legions of people who were a nominal threat in battle but killing a powerful enemy who got heavily maimed during combat who can be rehabilitated is somehow evil."


Oh, I know it's irrational but this is one of the times in which I think Lucas did get it right in the prequels. Obi Wan had plenty of motivation to kill Anakin. Anakin had betrayed the Jedi, betrayed Obi Wan, helped kill Mace Windu, slaughtered the Jedi in the temple and assaulted Padme.

But to kill him for any of those while he lay helpless and, as he didn't know that Palpatine was on the way to rescue him and stick him in the Darth Vader suit no longer a credible threat to anyone, would have been out of anger and/or revenge. Yoda had already established in ESB that killing for those reasons led to the Dark Side. Anakin's revenge killing of the Tusken Raiders in AotC had been his first major step towards the Dark Side. Obi Wan couldn't be turned. He needed to be there to mentor Luke in ANH.

Which also, indidentally, is part of why that overdrawn, overblown lightsabre fight was such a failure in the first place. You know as soon as it begins that both will survive the encounter, which drains what little suspense hadn't already been ruined by the completely unreal, cartoonish over the top direction hadn't already destroyed.

I don't want to be in the position of defending a trilogy that I think was fatally flawed* to begin with, but as I said on this point I will.

*In brief, I think Lucas made a huge mistake early on in choosing whose story to tell. He wanted to make it about Luke's father. Which is fine, tell the tale of the father before the son. I think had he chosen it to be about Obi Wan, Luke's spiritual father rather than Anakin, it would have been much more focused and wasted far less time on the weakest parts such as the ridiculous adventures of Little Annie the appalling and embarrassing love story between Anakin and Padme and the long, dull chats with Palpatine.
 
2013-03-25 12:40:39 AM
Meh, this author was just trying to stir controversy by saying stupid stuff.

Obi Wan's greatest mistake is that he does use the Dark side. He uses his anger to defeat Darth Maul. His anger over what Anakin did to become Darth Vader (killing the children) drove him to let DV suffer by being burnt alive. Probably in the interim between 3 and 4 Obi Wan figures out that DV coming about is his mistake, and so he vows to not let his anger get the best of him. That's also why he tries desperately to pull the wool over Luke's eyes, in a sense, by not only telling him that DV killed his father but also trying to convince him to not use his anger to fight DV in EPS.

I'm kinda surprised that he didn't kill Anakin when he was being a whiney Padawan. Obi's official backstory is even more depressing than Anakin's, in a sense, and yet he is still a badass.
 
2013-03-25 03:38:37 AM

rogue49: 11.  He raised Anakin into the most whiny snot-nosed doucebag in the galaxy.


I can't blame you for not reading TFA after all the comments, but this one was in there at #3.
 
2013-03-25 08:47:12 AM
All wrong. Obi Wan is the true hero of the entire series. He saved Amidala from Anakin. He stopped General Grievous. He sacrificed himself to get Luke on the proper path. Without him, Luke and Leia are never born and never lead the Rebellion to victory and the Emperor wins.
 
2013-03-25 10:05:49 AM
My own gripe says just as much about the Empire as it does about Obi-wan, but here goes:

At the end of Episode 3, they hide the twins and get out of Dodge.  Yoda goes to Dagobah.  Antilles becomes a detective in NYC.  And Obi-wan goes to Vader's HOME PLANET to lay-low from the Empire.  But he's no chump, he's gonna disappear, so he changes his name ... to BEN Kenobi.  Yeah, that'll throw 'em off your scent.

VADER:  Lieutenant, have you located Obi-wan Kenobi?
LIEUTENANT:  Not yet, Lord Vader.  All we have found is that "BEN" Kenobi, living a few miles from where you grew up.
 
2013-03-25 10:08:56 AM
Oh, and then there's Obi-Wan's "gotcha" to Anakin, during the big face off:

ANAKIN:  If you're not with me, then you're my enemy!
OBI-WAN:  Only a Sith deals in absolutes!

Disregard the irony of Obi-Wan's comeback for a minute and compare/contrast it with Yoda's "Try not!  Do; or do not.  There is no try."

My Jedi faith crisis is complete.
 
2013-03-25 10:09:29 AM

Gordon Bennett: Anakin was helpless. If you go by the other films, striking down a defenceless person leads to the Dark Side.


And allowing a person to slowly, horribly burn to death, instead of giving them a quick and painless death? Where does that lead?

/yeah, he didn't actually die, but...
 
2013-03-25 11:45:24 AM

shift_DAWG: Oh, and then there's Obi-Wan's "gotcha" to Anakin, during the big face off:

ANAKIN:  If you're not with me, then you're my enemy!
OBI-WAN:  Only a Sith deals in absolutes!

Disregard the irony of Obi-Wan's comeback for a minute and compare/contrast it with Yoda's "Try not!  Do; or do not.  There is no try."

My Jedi faith crisis is complete.


The Do or Do not quote is not talking about absolutes. Yoda was telling Luke not to "try" but to do it! Trying means you can half ass it and not use your full potential. Doing it means you put everything you got into it, even if you fail, you know you did what you could.

Anakin on the other hand, was dealing in absolutes. You are not with me, then you are against me. No middle ground which Obi Wan could of stood in as both Anakin's master and Anakin's brother. Anakin only saw black and white and no shades of grey.
 
2013-03-25 12:28:38 PM
yves0010:
Anakin on the other hand, was dealing in absolutes. You are not with me, then you are against me. No middle ground which Obi Wan could of stood in as both Anakin's master and Anakin's brother. Anakin only saw black and white and No Shades of Grey.

Lucky him.
 
2013-03-25 02:52:18 PM

shift_DAWG: Oh, and then there's Obi-Wan's "gotcha" to Anakin, during the big face off:

ANAKIN:  If you're not with me, then you're my enemy!
OBI-WAN:  Only a Sith deals in absolutes!

Disregard the irony of Obi-Wan's comeback for a minute and compare/contrast it with Yoda's "Try not!  Do; or do not.  There is no try."

My Jedi faith crisis is complete.


My eyes rolled back in my head at the time because it seemed like a very ham-fisted George w. Bush commentary "you're either with us or against us." And the response was equally lackluster "I shall do my best."
 
2013-03-26 11:01:56 AM

Bondith: yves0010:
Anakin on the other hand, was dealing in absolutes. You are not with me, then you are against me. No middle ground which Obi Wan could of stood in as both Anakin's master and Anakin's brother. Anakin only saw black and white and No Shades of Grey.

Lucky him.


Wow... I did not even noticed I did that. Thank you for that. Needed a laugh this morning.
 
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