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(SeattlePI)   As the screaming woman got closer, she reached into her bra and pulled out a stun gun, according to police. The messenger tried to make his getaway, but the pregnant woman gave chase and soon caught him   (seattlepi.com) divider line 49
    More: Strange, pregnancy  
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6395 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Mar 2013 at 7:48 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-23 05:40:41 PM
Farking biker crossed against the light.  Gets yelled at instead of squished. Kicks car. Earns beatdown.
 
2013-03-23 05:46:56 PM

BarkingUnicorn: Farking biker crossed against the light.  Gets yelled at instead of squished. Kicks car. Earns beatdown.



Oh sure, shoot the messenger.

/Typical
 
2013-03-23 06:31:59 PM
A screaming comes across the sky.

Sorry, that's as far as I got.
 
2013-03-23 07:51:54 PM
Well now thats just not right.
 
2013-03-23 07:52:16 PM
What kind of bike messenger gets caught in a footrace?

/She sounds kenyan
 
2013-03-23 07:53:21 PM
Two things: first, what kind of bike messenger can't escape a pregnant woman?  Was it his first day on the job and he stilled weighed over 250?

Second, who is the pregnant Farkette taking beat downs to the bicycling filth that covers her streets?
 
2013-03-23 07:53:57 PM

Yogimus: What kind of bike messenger gets caught in a footrace?

/She sounds kenyan


By a visably pregnant woman to boot. He must suck.
 
2013-03-23 07:56:30 PM
Like duh, of course pregnant women can catch dudes on bikes.
Think about it people, she has at least four legs, maybe more.
Plus as anyone who's ever been through it knows, pregnant women are like velociraptors, with added crankiness.
 
2013-03-23 07:58:21 PM
As the screaming woman got closer, she reached into her bra and pulled out a stun gun, according to police. The messenger tried to make his getaway, but the pregnant woman gave chase and soon caught him, at which point police say she hit him twice in the face.
The male driver also got out of the car, pulled out his own stun gun and swung it at the bike messenger.


Now, I'm not gonna claim to be an expert in chasing down and bringing the hurt to bike messengers, but I'm pretty that's not how you're supposed to use a stun gun.
 
2013-03-23 07:59:19 PM
If the fetus is a person, does this make it a co-conspirator?
 
2013-03-23 08:00:11 PM

Emposter: As the screaming woman got closer, she reached into her bra and pulled out a stun gun, according to police. The messenger tried to make his getaway, but the pregnant woman gave chase and soon caught him, at which point police say she hit him twice in the face.
The male driver also got out of the car, pulled out his own stun gun and swung it at the bike messenger.

Now, I'm not gonna claim to be an expert in chasing down and bringing the hurt to bike messengers, but I'm pretty that's not how you're supposed to use a stun gun.


Because you are confusing a stun-gun with a tazer.
 
2013-03-23 08:01:14 PM

YoOjo: Like duh, of course pregnant women can catch dudes on bikes.
Think about it people, she has at least four legs, maybe more.
Plus as anyone who's ever been through it knows, pregnant women are like velociraptors, with added crankiness.


Sort of this. Not so much on the running part, but a lot on the crankiness part. DO NOT MESS WITH THE PREGOS! Tell them they look radiant and that they will be wonderful mothers. But whatever you do, DO. NOT. CROSS. PREGOS.
 
2013-03-23 08:02:14 PM
Yeah I'd do the same thing as well. You kick my car you die.
 
2013-03-23 08:02:23 PM
First thing I thought of when I read the headline....
 
2013-03-23 08:03:48 PM

Yogimus: Because you are confusing a stun-gun with a tazer.


I'm going to rule in favor of Emposter, neither tool is intended to be used to inflict blunt force trauma.
 
2013-03-23 08:04:43 PM
trying that again....
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-03-23 08:05:14 PM
Don't taze me bra!!!
 
2013-03-23 08:05:17 PM

Yogimus: Emposter: As the screaming woman got closer, she reached into her bra and pulled out a stun gun, according to police. The messenger tried to make his getaway, but the pregnant woman gave chase and soon caught him, at which point police say she hit him twice in the face.
The male driver also got out of the car, pulled out his own stun gun and swung it at the bike messenger.

Now, I'm not gonna claim to be an expert in chasing down and bringing the hurt to bike messengers, but I'm pretty that's not how you're supposed to use a stun gun.

Because you are confusing a stun-gun with a tazer.


I know the difference perfectly well, thank you, though it's amusing that you apparently think you beat people with stun guns, rather than shocking them.
 
2013-03-23 08:06:21 PM
Shocking
 
2013-03-23 08:07:30 PM

Emposter: I know the difference perfectly well, thank you, though it's amusing that you apparently think you beat people with stun guns, rather than shocking them.


Yes, holding it at arm's length and waiting for them to gently back into it is much more effective,
 
2013-03-23 08:09:36 PM
I'm guessing the car has Florida plates.
 
2013-03-23 08:11:52 PM
Damn! So when are these two taserific people running for their local teabagger political position?

/Oh right. Thats eastern Washington.
 
2013-03-23 08:12:46 PM
The driver pulled onto Fifth and was obviously turning.  Both had a green light.  Be an a##hole and honk at someone already in the crosswalk and expect to get your tire kicked.
 
2013-03-23 08:17:37 PM
How does that work anyhow?
It seems like very few people would want a message that contains a bike.
 
2013-03-23 08:23:33 PM

Yogimus: Emposter: As the screaming woman got closer, she reached into her bra and pulled out a stun gun, according to police. The messenger tried to make his getaway, but the pregnant woman gave chase and soon caught him, at which point police say she hit him twice in the face.
The male driver also got out of the car, pulled out his own stun gun and swung it at the bike messenger.

Now, I'm not gonna claim to be an expert in chasing down and bringing the hurt to bike messengers, but I'm pretty that's not how you're supposed to use a stun gun.

Because you are confusing a stun-gun with a tazer.


I agree they're different things. A stun gun is a device with electrodes on the end that you hit people with. A Taser shoots darts connected to wires into the target and delivers the current through the wires. I also believe there's about a 50/50 chance that the author of the story doesn't know that. Like you, the events in the story lead me to believe that what the people were carrying were the stun-gun variety. The quote from the article doesn't clear things up because they don't specifically say that the messenger was hit with the stun gun, just that he was hit twice in the face by the woman (she could have hit him with the hand that wasn't holding the gun) and only that the man took a swing at him.

/ Crappy journalism to the Fark-queue!
 
2013-03-23 08:37:57 PM

RDean: The driver pulled onto Fifth and was obviously turning.  Both had a green light.  Be an a##hole and honk at someone already in the crosswalk and expect to get your tire kicked.


In NYC, you must WALK your bicycle in a crosswalk, or stay on the road with those two-ton cars.  The messenger, if riding, was violating the law.
http://www.oginski-law.com/library/bicycle-and-pedestrian-laws-in-th e- state-of-new-york.cfm
/But most cyclist ignore such nuances and ride wherever they damn well please.
//Typically, I move over to give them plenty of lane space because they're really, really mean and can kick and bite.
 
2013-03-23 08:38:37 PM
the bike messenger should be thanking god that they were not off duty seattle, or bellevue cops
 
2013-03-23 08:42:43 PM

7th Son of a 7th Son: Yeah I'd do the same thing as well. You kick my car you die.


Like you have the balls to drive your 4X4 on the streets of NYC, cowboy.
 
2013-03-23 08:47:19 PM
Don't taze me, bra.
 
2013-03-23 08:48:56 PM
He should have punched her in the baby instead of trying to flee.
 
2013-03-23 09:00:39 PM

7th Son of a 7th Son: Yeah I'd do the same thing as well. You kick my car you die.


If your car is within kicking distance you're driving it wrong.
 
2013-03-23 09:05:48 PM

rkiller1: RDean: The driver pulled onto Fifth and was obviously turning.  Both had a green light.  Be an a##hole and honk at someone already in the crosswalk and expect to get your tire kicked.

In NYC, you must WALK your bicycle in a crosswalk, or stay on the road with those two-ton cars.  The messenger, if riding, was violating the law.
http://www.oginski-law.com/library/bicycle-and-pedestrian-laws-in-th e- state-of-new-york.cfm
/But most cyclist ignore such nuances and ride wherever they damn well please.
//Typically, I move over to give them plenty of lane space because they're really, really mean and can kick and bite.



Except this happened in Seattle.  So link relevant laws please.
 
2013-03-23 09:19:38 PM
I hope alcohol was involved.
 
2013-03-23 09:30:31 PM

BarkingUnicorn: Farking biker crossed against the light.  Gets yelled at instead of squished. Kicks car. Earns beatdown.


Only the cops can commit assault and battery and get away with it.
/hot like a lead filled nightstick
//YOU are the weakest link... goodbye.
 
2013-03-23 10:10:35 PM
share the road but also we get to use crosswalks and sidewalks and ignore traffic laws and pedestrians are always in the way and they should just get out of the way and are lesser than me
 
2013-03-23 10:26:29 PM
Don't electrocute me, brassiere.
 
2013-03-23 11:07:16 PM
Hmph..in my state you have to have a concealed permit to carry a stun gun..and it's considered a deadly weapon...here that would have been the same as if they'd jumped out with .357s
 
2013-03-23 11:34:04 PM

looolllolol: Hmph..in my state you have to have a concealed permit to carry a stun gun..and it's considered a deadly weapon...here that would have been the same as if they'd jumped out with .357s


Them exiting their vehicle to chase is reason enough to catch a bullet.
 
2013-03-23 11:36:17 PM

rkiller1: RDean: The driver pulled onto Fifth and was obviously turning.  Both had a green light.  Be an a##hole and honk at someone already in the crosswalk and expect to get your tire kicked.

In NYC, you must WALK your bicycle in a crosswalk, or stay on the road with those two-ton cars.  The messenger, if riding, was violating the law.
http://www.oginski-law.com/library/bicycle-and-pedestrian-laws-in-th e- state-of-new-york.cfm
/But most cyclist ignore such nuances and ride wherever they damn well please.
//Typically, I move over to give them plenty of lane space because they're really, really mean and can kick and bite.


How to spot a typical New Yorker:
1) thinks their local laws apply to people 3,000 miles away
2) doesn't think anything exists more than 300 miles away, so #1 is irrelevant
 
2013-03-24 12:14:27 AM
unpossible.   If you carry a gun, it will 99% of the time be taken from you, according to some people.  You must be far more likely to have a stun gun taken away from you.
 
2013-03-24 12:33:36 AM
 
2013-03-24 12:39:29 AM

Not_The_Target_Market: trying that again....
[1.bp.blogspot.com image 500x424]


Suddenly, a shot rang out! The maid screamed! Suddenly, a pirate ship appeared on the horizon.
 
2013-03-24 02:11:30 AM
...pregnant woman attack with stun gun...

Strangest boner right now.
 
2013-03-24 07:58:38 AM
In about 5 years, some unsuspecting kindergarten teacher is in for some fun.
 
2013-03-24 10:52:20 AM
Bruce Benedict is a bike messenger now?

/Obscure, but not to Braves fans from the '80s
 
2013-03-24 10:57:22 AM
Just read TFA. Apparently, the bike messenger had the right of way, and the car stopped and honked, and he kicked their fender. Stupid. Unwarranted honking deserves obscene yelling, not kicking (kicking is for attacking dogs and cars that try to brush you off into the ditch/parked cars). But then the batshiat couple both got out and BEAT him with their stun guns. What, were the batteries dead? Or were they so filled with ERMAGERD, YOU KICKED MY BABY car-fondler rage that they forgot how stun guns work?
 
2013-03-24 11:00:03 AM
While millions of people were starving, the king lived in luxury. Meanwhile, on a small farm in Kansas, a boy was growing up.
 
2013-03-24 11:07:08 AM

falcon176: share the road but also we get to use crosswalks and sidewalks and ignore traffic laws and pedestrians are always in the way and they should just get out of the way and are lesser than me


Personally, it should be legal to paintball-hunt cyclists who ride on sidewalks (except mixed-use paths) or go opposite traffic. We men ride in the street, because it's a lot safer going 15-20 in the same direction as 30-mph cars. Now, I run redlights, but only after coming to a complete stop and making sure I'm not going to inconvenience anyone, same way as I jaywalk as a pedestrian. If there's traffic in sight, I do a right, U-turn, right, which is legal. And if I am at a crosswalk where pedestrians have the right of way, but cars won't stop for cyclists, I get off and walk. And hold a hand out, and scream about the farking $250 fine on the "stop for pedestrians" sign. And DC drivers still try to run me down. Because they are the WORST GODDAM PEOPLE IN THE WORLD.
 
2013-03-24 11:45:50 AM
Wait, a bike messenger actually using a crosswalk? This is obviously fiction.
 
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