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(Some Guy)   Fifteen mid-century modern dream homes that will kill your children . . . FROM THE SHEER AWESOMENESS OF PLAYING IN THEM   (projectophile.wordpress.com) divider line 47
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7977 clicks; posted to Geek » on 23 Mar 2013 at 5:17 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-23 03:04:26 PM  
I will admit that, as a kid, I would have jumped off quite a few of those ledges--repeatedly.
 
2013-03-23 03:07:09 PM  
I'd get one of those houses just because they would kill any kids who dared step on my lawn.
 
2013-03-23 03:08:37 PM  
Meh, we used to get on our garage roof all the time via my bedroom window.  Kids are kids, they'll find danger no matter how safe you try to make things.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-03-23 03:22:02 PM  
Ironically, despite the hazards of the no-building-code-or-permit house where I spent the first year of my life, my most serious injury came from ordinary furniture. The town has since required building permits in that area. There is a trend to impose the international building code on all of America and there must be few places left where you could build a cool house.
 
2013-03-23 03:32:45 PM  
People with homes like that don't have kids
 
2013-03-23 03:45:23 PM  
My kid got hurt jumpinGO GET THE LAYWERS NAME
 
2013-03-23 04:07:40 PM  
Red arrows show the direction of travel of children's bodies


Well, that's not overly dramatic at all. Nope.
 
2013-03-23 04:52:13 PM  
My aunt had this GORGEOUS 3 story home built into a hill.  Only the front of the house was exposed.  When they added a garage, they couldn't embed it entirely, so there was a 4-5 foot drop from the roof to the ground.  My brother & I used to jump off it all the time and nobody called DYFS on our parents.

My grandparents had a huge wrap-around deck on the 2nd floor of their A-frame home built in the 70's.  I remember it only had the barest of railings yet we managed to not die when playing on it.
 
2013-03-23 04:54:16 PM  

cretinbob: People with homes like that don't have kids


Or drunk and abusive spouses.  Not for long anyway.
 
2013-03-23 04:57:41 PM  
I want a Mid centery modern home :(

that isn't falling apart..
 
2013-03-23 05:10:58 PM  
Damn.  I misread that.

I was looking for mid 15th-century dream homes.  Those looked rather modern in comparison.
 
2013-03-23 05:26:17 PM  
I think it's hilarious that the author of TFA seems to think that the types of people who can afford homes like that are also the types of people to not have nannies watching their kids 24/7.
 
2013-03-23 05:27:24 PM  

I_Am_Weasel: I was looking for mid 15th-century dream homes. Those looked rather modern in comparison.


These are all da Vinci's homes. The guy was ahead of his time.
 
2013-03-23 05:29:31 PM  

Lord Jubjub: I will admit that, as a kid, I would have jumped off quite a few of those ledges--repeatedly.


As an adult, I would jump off quite a few of those ledges--repeatedly.
 
2013-03-23 05:37:08 PM  
God, I would so  love to live in "Mad Men" digs like these.

Anyone who would own these homes is smart (and successful) enough to know better than have any kids in the first place.
 
2013-03-23 05:46:54 PM  
thanks for the remodeling ideas for the house. now I can be ready for grandkids in a few years
 
2013-03-23 05:52:55 PM  
Am I in before crotchflake snowfruit?
 
2013-03-23 05:56:30 PM  
Its easy enough to just not have kids.
 
2013-03-23 05:57:53 PM  

I_Am_Weasel: Damn.  I misread that.

I was looking for mid 15th-century dream homes.  Those looked rather modern in comparison.


You are in luck. there are a few for sale:

http://curbed.com/archives/2013/03/22/behold-five-breathtaking-histo ri c-villas-from-italys-veneto.php
 
2013-03-23 06:02:03 PM  
I grew up on a farm, there were hundreds of more dangerous things than those just in our barn. Of course, I also grew up before seat belts, bicycle helmets, knee/elbow pads and that rubbery shiat they line the ground at playgrounds with. The speed limit of the street I grew up on, the street I rode a million times on my bike, was 55 mph. Funny thing is, even though all of that was commonplace back then, no kids ever died or got seriously hurt. Throughout my entire time at school there was one death, and that was a kid with muscular dystrophy.
 
2013-03-23 06:03:38 PM  

TV's Vinnie: God, I would so  love to live in "Mad Men" digs like these.

Anyone who would own these homes is smart (and successful) enough to know better than have any kids in the first place.


You really shouldn't define your life on bad pop culture.
 
2013-03-23 06:06:45 PM  
When I was 12 (a long long time ago) my mother would let my friend and I go to NYC to go the NYC public library.   This trip consisted of 60 miles on the LIRR, followed by either a hike through Manhattan or an adventure filled ride on the subway.   Did it lots in the summer, in spite of, among other things, riots.

Nobody thought anything of it, including the train conductor who nearly had a heart attack when he saw us climbing on the outside of the train (like they do now in India).

Now you would be arrested for suggesting such a thing.

Good times.
 
2013-03-23 06:23:56 PM  

kroonermanblack: TV's Vinnie: God, I would so  love to live in "Mad Men" digs like these.

Anyone who would own these homes is smart (and successful) enough to know better than have any kids in the first place.

You really shouldn't define your life on bad pop culture.


It's only bad to you cuz you're poor.
 
2013-03-23 06:39:33 PM  
Not exactly related but when I was seven my family lived in a suburban Detroit subdivision where we moved into one of the first completed houses. This of course meant that there were half constructed houses all about to "play" in. So many afternoons spent going through just poured basements and barely framed 2nd stories.

Then there was the time I climed some scaffolding and ended up on the roof of a two story colonial. Which would have been fine... except from that perch I was visible to everyone. Including my mother. Keep in mind I'm seven.

All she could do was scream at me until I navigated my way back down. I don't actually remember being punished since those memories are probably quite well repressed.

Anyway, those houses are great and this guy should feel bad for writing this article. His kids are probably clothed in bubble wrap 24/7.
 
2013-03-23 06:40:53 PM  
Am I the only one who read that headline in Sterling Archer's voice?
 
2013-03-23 06:59:46 PM  

t3knomanser: Am I the only one who read that headline in Sterling Archer's voice?


No -- no, you're not.  I literally -- well, figuratively  -- read that in Archer's voice.

/Holy shiat snacks!
 
2013-03-23 07:31:26 PM  

t3knomanser: Am I the only one who read that headline in Sterling Archer's voice?


Now I did. It adds a certain flair.
 
2013-03-23 07:33:35 PM  

t3knomanser: Am I the only one who read that headline in Sterling Archer's voice?


Dammit, I can't *not* hear his voice now.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-03-23 07:40:56 PM  
Then there was the time I climed some scaffolding and ended up on the roof of a two story colonial. Which would have been fine... except from that perch I was visible to everyone. Including my mother. Keep in mind I'm seven.

My mother turned her back for a moment and found me sitting on the outside part of a second floor air conditioner. It may have been mounted under the window opening. It's been a while since I was in that house.
 
2013-03-23 07:42:23 PM  
Maybe not have dumb kids. I mean, what 19 year old is going to fall off those.
Geez!
 
2013-03-23 07:45:28 PM  

downstairs: Meh, we used to get on our garage roof all the time via my bedroom window.  Kids are kids, they'll find danger no matter how safe you try to make things.


I installed about 3 dozen electrical outlet safety caps when kid started crawling.  Put him on the floor and he crawled straight to the window drape, pulled it aside, and found the one outlet I missed.  It was eerie.
 
2013-03-23 08:16:35 PM  
Screw the children, 90% of those homes would kill me within 6 months if I was given access to vodka.
 
2013-03-23 09:14:56 PM  
No Ma and Pa Kettle screenshots? Too bad.
 
2013-03-23 09:19:42 PM  

subfactorial: Not exactly related but when I was seven my family lived in a suburban Detroit subdivision where we moved into one of the first completed houses. This of course meant that there were half constructed houses all about to "play" in. So many afternoons spent going through just poured basements and barely framed 2nd stories.

Then there was the time I climed some scaffolding and ended up on the roof of a two story colonial. Which would have been fine... except from that perch I was visible to everyone. Including my mother. Keep in mind I'm seven.

All she could do was scream at me until I navigated my way back down. I don't actually remember being punished since those memories are probably quite well repressed.

Anyway, those houses are great and this guy should feel bad for writing this article. His kids are probably clothed in bubble wrap 24/7.


Same way, maybe later, couldn't tell ya. Grew up in a growing subdivision. and me and my friends playground were all the incomplete houses.

never got screamed at by the dear mother for being up on a roof some where though. Of course, my mother was too busy working to support the house hold than to worry about such things as scraps and bumps and other travesties of coming up a latch key kid in the late 80s and 90's, like feral suburban kid gangs and AIDS
 
2013-03-23 09:32:01 PM  
Beautiful houses, and well played satire on the writers part. Yes she is a "crafty" lady, but she definitely has a good handle on reality. She skewered helicopter moms in this post.
 
2013-03-23 10:05:16 PM  

subfactorial: Not exactly related but when I was seven my family lived in a suburban Detroit subdivision where we moved into one of the first completed houses. This of course meant that there were half constructed houses all about to "play" in. So many afternoons spent going through just poured basements and barely framed 2nd stories.

Then there was the time I climed some scaffolding and ended up on the roof of a two story colonial. Which would have been fine... except from that perch I was visible to everyone. Including my mother. Keep in mind I'm seven.

All she could do was scream at me until I navigated my way back down. I don't actually remember being punished since those memories are probably quite well repressed.

Anyway, those houses are great and <b>this guy</b> should feel bad for writing this article. His kids are probably clothed in bubble wrap 24/7.


You really think a guy with kids would take the time to write something that whiny?
 
2013-03-23 10:07:00 PM  
Those houses are kiddie Darwinian selectors.  We need them.  Also, the future needs smart people so none of this 'smart people don't have kids' crap.  If only stupid people have kids then Idiocracy is guaranteed to become reality one day.
 
2013-03-23 10:41:50 PM  

TV's Vinnie: kroonermanblack: TV's Vinnie: God, I would so  love to live in "Mad Men" digs like these.

Anyone who would own these homes is smart (and successful) enough to know better than have any kids in the first place.

You really shouldn't define your life on bad pop culture.

It's only bad to you cuz you're poor.


I enjoy a good non-sequitor insultoff, but you lost me there.
 
2013-03-23 11:07:48 PM  

DoctorOfLove: When I was 12 (a long long time ago) my mother would let my friend and I go to NYC to go the NYC public library.   This trip consisted of 60 miles on the LIRR, followed by either a hike through Manhattan or an adventure filled ride on the subway.   Did it lots in the summer, in spite of, among other things, riots.

Nobody thought anything of it, including the train conductor who nearly had a heart attack when he saw us climbing on the outside of the train (like they do now in India).

Now you would be arrested for suggesting such a thing.

Good times.



Out of curiosity, how long did it take you to get to the library from your house? That's quite the trek to get to the library.
 
2013-03-23 11:30:03 PM  
The kids who lived in the first house, with the swooping, parabolic roof, did spend a great deal of time playing on the roof of that house.
 
2013-03-23 11:34:44 PM  
And they missed one of the worst offenders: the Paul Rudolph-designed house that Halston owned in the 70s.  Dozens of levels and no railings.

25.media.tumblr.com

See the steps on the left?  Liza Minelli fell down the entire flight one night during a party.
 
zez
2013-03-24 12:35:57 AM  
The yard next to my house is about 8 feet lower than mine and there is a concrete retaining wall separating the two. When I lived there as a kid we used to spend all afternoon jumping off of it.
 
2013-03-24 02:42:06 AM  

Dwight_Yeast: And they missed one of the worst offenders: the Paul Rudolph-designed house that Halston owned in the 70s.  Dozens of levels and no railings.


Three stories actually, but your description certainly sounds better.
 
2013-03-24 04:26:57 AM  
And I thought that bruises, stitches, bleeding knees and the occasional broken arm are organic parts of the life of a kid.
 
2013-03-24 09:38:46 AM  

bench: Dwight_Yeast: And they missed one of the worst offenders: the Paul Rudolph-designed house that Halston owned in the 70s.  Dozens of levels and no railings.

Three stories actually, but your description certainly sounds better.


Three main stories, but many many intermediate levels and platforms.  Notice that the stairs don't come down to the living room level, but rather to a platform about three feet off the main floor level.

When he could, Rudolph loves to build like that.  I think he liked the element of "danger" that it introduced to his houses, that sense of being able to stand on the edge and not be protected.  For better or worse, the house has been renovated and railings added to the various balconies and walkways.
 
2013-03-24 09:58:46 AM  
Isee it more as allowing Darwinism to set you up to have successful children. Those that don't make it probably weren't worth any further investment/effort.
 
2013-03-24 05:16:11 PM  

ScouserDuck: Isee it more as allowing Darwinism to set you up to have successful children. Those that don't make it probably weren't worth any further investment/effort.




Those that don't make it aren't around to post on Fark how doing awesomely dangerous thing in their childhood didn't kill them.

Sort of like how every gun owner is a responsible gun owner...until they aren't.
 
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