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(Duluth News Tribune)   Police catch serial lobster thief red-handed. Fun fact: If someone steals a live crustacean from Red Lobster and it's recovered, apparently it goes back in the tank   (duluthnewstribune.com ) divider line
    More: Strange, Red Lobster, Duluth, Hennepin County, crustaceans, lobsters, Duluth police, lobster thief  
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3411 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Mar 2013 at 2:22 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-23 12:11:16 PM  
4 votes:
Step 1: Steal lobster
Step 2: Put lobster in my ass.
Step 3: Return lobster to tank.
Step 4: Gain unprecedented confidence in all business meetings knowing there is a chance the people I am meeting with have eaten one of my ass lobsters.
2013-03-23 02:29:27 PM  
2 votes:
25.media.tumblr.com
2013-03-23 02:43:22 PM  
1 vote:
You know who would have loved this story?

Pinchy.

www.rankopedia.com
2013-03-23 02:35:59 PM  
1 vote:

Ghastly
Snarcoleptic_Hoosier:
Ghastly: Step 1: Steal lobster
Step 2: Put lobster in my ass.
Step 3: Return lobster to tank.
Step 4: Gain unprecedented confidence in all business meetings knowing there is a chance the people I am meeting with have eaten one of my ass lobsters.

I've been sticking $30 in lobster up my ass for the past 11 years! That's 6 lobsters a day; 42 lobsters a week; 2190 lobsters a year! To date that's 24,090 lobsters, 8 times the population of Captain D's warehouse. That lobster was in my ass! You think you're better than me? Oh, you're not better than me. You nibble my ass seafood everyday. You order my ass lobster for good fortune. You split my ass lobsters with your wife and wish for more. You give my ass lobsters to your little daughter on her 9th birthday as a treat.


Do you take the little rubber bands off the lobsters before you shove them up your ass or do you keep them on?
2013-03-23 01:02:37 PM  
1 vote:

Ghastly: Step 1: Steal lobster
Step 2: Put lobster in my ass.
Step 3: Return lobster to tank.
Step 4: Gain unprecedented confidence in all business meetings knowing there is a chance the people I am meeting with have eaten one of my ass lobsters.


I've been sticking $30 in lobster up my ass for the past 11 years! That's 6 lobsters a day; 42 lobsters a week; 2190 lobsters a year! To date that's 24,090 lobsters, 8 times the population of Captain D's warehouse. That lobster was in my ass! You think you're better than me? Oh, you're not better than me. You nibble my ass seafood everyday. You order my ass lobster for good fortune. You split my ass lobsters with your wife and wish for more. You give my ass lobsters to your little daughter on her 9th birthday as a treat.
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-03-23 12:12:39 PM  
1 vote:
it goes back in the tank

A few years ago a truckload of live lobster spilled on a Massachusetts highway. Authorities practically tripped overthemselves rushing to condemn the load and chase down anybody who tried to distribute it. A small town health inspector doesn't have anything better to do than make sure poor people don't get any lobster (allegedly some was used to feed the Poor, although also allegedly some was sold for $3 per pound in a parking lot). Felony charges followed but nobody served any time. Some surviving lobsters were released into Boston Harbor, because the touch of polluted seawater has some legal rejuvenating effect turning contaminated food back into food.
 
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