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(xoJane)   "I decided I would use OkCupid and Craigslist so I could have dinner three times a week without opening my wallet"   (xojane.com) divider line 326
    More: Obvious, Craigslist, same girl, Carrie Bradshaw  
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20265 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Mar 2013 at 9:03 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-23 07:43:18 AM  

Compare:

"
To find my victims, I would chitchat with each possible suitor and then hope they'd offer to take me out, which 9 out of 10 times they would. "

to

"I eventually told my friends what I had been up to and majority of my girlfriends thought it was a brilliant idea whereas my guy friends thought I was the lowest of lowest.

A really close guy friend said he was disappointed in my recent escapades. He felt I was using men and explained to me that these men I went on dates with were probably expecting a relationship from me, yet I just wanted a meal and nothing more. "

...


"He called me a low-rate prostitute and told each male server about my antics and made me watch their facial expression, just so I could feel bad about what I did. He made his point.Looking back, I truly didn't see the harm in my actions."
 
2013-03-23 07:45:09 AM  
Said writer isn't very good.

To find my victims, I would chitchat with each possible suitor and then hope they'd offer to take me out, which 9 out of 10 times they would. I would pick a restaurant I wanted to try out in the city and then it was on.

....

And the dates! The horror dates I had to indulge for the simple sake of a meal.

I went out with everything. One of my first dates was with a guy who had an extreme foot fetish who couldn't get through the meal without mentioning something about my feet. The server asked if we wanted dessert and my date answered with "Yes, her toes."

Then there was a guy who couldn't speak a lick of English.


Isn't this like looking the gift horse in the mouth? She's biatching about how awful these men were as she was only using them for free meals.
 
2013-03-23 08:12:57 AM  
This is no more reprehensible than telling...whatshername that you love her so she will sleep with you.

/I'm sure her female friends would understand that, too.
 
2013-03-23 08:16:33 AM  
God. When I was in college, I never paid for a single drink. But I never led anyone on.

How incredibly deceptive and horrible of her.

/I miss college
// Married so now all the drinks come out of a joint account.
/// Were drinks always this expensive?
 
2013-03-23 08:31:16 AM  
Double agent
Norah Vincent spent 18 months disguised as a man. She relives the boys nights out, the bad dates - and what happened when she ended up in bed with another woman

Not only was dating one of the hardest of Ned's [Norah's] experiences, it was also the most fraught with deception. I decided I would out myself to anyone with whom I had more than a passing, unsuccessful, date or two. To most of the women I dated, even the odd date meant a lot, especially women who had been out roaming the singles scene for years in their mid-30s, trying to find a mate amid the serial daters.

For these women, men as a subspecies - not the particular men with whom they had been involved - were to blame for the wreck of a relationship and the psychic damage it had done them. It's hardly surprising, then, that in this atmosphere, as a single man dating women, I often felt attacked, judged, on the defensive.

Many of my dates - even the more passive ones - did most of the talking. I listened to them talk literally for hours about the most minute, mind-numbing details of their personal lives; men they were still in love with, men they had divorced, roommates and co-workers they hated, childhoods they were loath to remember yet somehow found the energy to recount ad nauseam. Listening to them was like undergoing a slow frontal lobotomy.

....skip...

If you have never been sexually attracted to women, you will never quite understand the monumental power of female sexuality, except by proxy or in theory, nor will you quite know the immense advantage it gives us over men. Dating women as a man was a lesson in female power, and it made me, of all things, into a momentary misogynist, which I suppose was the best indicator that my experiment had worked. I saw my own sex from the other side, and I disliked women irrationally for a while because of it. I disliked their superiority, their accusatory smiles, their entitlement to choose or dash me with a fingertip, an execution so lazy, so effortless, it made the defeats and even the successes unbearably humiliating. Typical male power feels by comparison like a blunt instrument, its salvos and field strategies laughably remedial next to the damage a woman can do with a single cutting word: no.

Sex is most powerful in the mind, and to men, in the mind, women have a lot of power, not only to arouse, but to give worth, self-worth, meaning, initiation, sustenance, everything. Seeing this more clearly through my experience, I began to wonder whether the most extreme men resort to violence with women because they think that's all they have, their one pathetic advantage over all she seems to hold above them. I make no excuses for this. There are none.
 
2013-03-23 08:35:27 AM  
but you could have dinner 7 days a week if you just opened your wallet
 
2013-03-23 08:36:46 AM  
but it burns calories to just go on the date, so it's a wash regardless
 
2013-03-23 08:48:03 AM  

people: (Quoting drag king) and it made me, of all things, into a momentary misogynist,


She was a misogynist, well misanthrope really, before her life as a drag king.

FTFA: "How else to explain my instinctive loathing of dresses, dolls and frills of any kind"

Interesting story though!
 
2013-03-23 08:57:04 AM  
This is why I take all my first dates to the McDonalds and have them order from the Dollar menu!
 
2013-03-23 08:59:32 AM  

quickdraw: Interesting story though!


Norah/Ned has a great but not the only account of the wide disparity in roles for dating and the perspectives of gender.
 
2013-03-23 09:07:25 AM  

people: quickdraw: Interesting story though!

Norah/Ned has a great but not the only account of the wide disparity in roles for dating and the perspectives of gender.


Yeah. All sorts of accounts through history. It's interesting to me that we are finally confronting the false dichotomy of gender identity. Deconstructionism may have its uses after all.
 
2013-03-23 09:09:06 AM  
Wow, what a colossal piece of garbage.  I hope karma pays her back.
 
2013-03-23 09:09:52 AM  
Haha, desperate enough to use dating sites people problems.
 
2013-03-23 09:10:09 AM  
Now we are just haggling over price...

Oh wait, no. No, she is lying to men about the opportunity for a relationship in order to take money/meals/drinks/whatever because she can't live out her fantasy of being the "Carrie Bradshaw" of music? I've seen her music list and I've seen her pictures. Go back to Jersey, you moron, it ain't happening.
 
2013-03-23 09:10:14 AM  
I met my wife when we both had nothing, and I mean nothing. And she stayed and that's a big reason why we are married.
 
2013-03-23 09:10:34 AM  

quickdraw: people: quickdraw: Interesting story though!

Norah/Ned has a great but not the only account of the wide disparity in roles for dating and the perspectives of gender.

Yeah. All sorts of accounts through history. It's interesting to me that we are finally confronting the false dichotomy of gender identity. Deconstructionism may have its uses after all.


Frankly, we've been both deconstructing and perpetuating gender identity at the same time - throughout history.  Its not a new trend.  We've had societies change in regards to gender identities through time.  I don't think I need to go into examples here. Let me know if I do.

At the same time, how are we, today, perpetuating the trope where women are merely objects to be acted upon, and only men have agency?  I see this trope abused lately.
 
2013-03-23 09:12:34 AM  
th02.deviantart.net
Huuuyoore!
 
2013-03-23 09:15:23 AM  
"Churchill: "Madam, would you sleep with me for five million pounds?"
Socialite: "My goodness, Mr. Churchill... Well, I suppose... we would have to discuss terms, of course... "
Churchill: "Would you sleep with me for five pounds?"
Socialite: "Mr. Churchill, what kind of woman do you think I am?!"
Churchill: "Madam, we've already established that. Now we are haggling about the price"
  - Winston Churchill
 
2013-03-23 09:15:38 AM  
i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com
 
2013-03-23 09:16:01 AM  
Well this just has romantic comedy written all over it. Reese Witherspoon as the spunky small town girl just trying to make it in the big city, using her feminine wiles to score some free meals through online dating profiles, never dreaming she'd meet Mr. Right.

But oh, when she meets Ryan Gosling (or Liam Hemsworth if Gosling is busy) sparks are sure to fly and we'll all learn something about love!

Book it, done, call me Hollywood.
 
2013-03-23 09:18:47 AM  
Oh, bullsh*t. Who the hell would suffer the company just to go out to dinner? A free meal isn't worth sitting through all that boredom. And no matter how evil you want to think women may be, even the worst of them couldn't keep this type of thing up for long.

This article was created to get you outraged, and making the more bitter amongst us feel vindicated or justified.
 
2013-03-23 09:19:37 AM  
Jokes on her. She had to eat with idiots she met off of craigslist and okcupid for 3 nights a week.
 
2013-03-23 09:20:21 AM  
Any sleuths out there manage to find a pic yet?
 
2013-03-23 09:20:27 AM  
That is why I go dutch on the first date
 
2013-03-23 09:21:01 AM  
Never pay for dinner on the first date.
 
2013-03-23 09:21:19 AM  
I set my eyes at becoming the music equivalent Carrie Bradshaw but I didn't have the gig to back it up.

Carrie Bradshaw didn't have the gig to back it up either, if your only job is a weekly column for a local newspaper you're not living in a nice apartment on the upper east side and buying $400 shoes on a regular bases. She only managed her lifestyle because it was fictional and full of plotholes, much like the story in TFA.
 
2013-03-23 09:21:36 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: Never pay for her dinner on the first date.


FTFM
 
2013-03-23 09:22:22 AM  
So... you're a whore.

/Didn't need all that text to explain that
 
2013-03-23 09:23:06 AM  
Any TF farkettes able to weigh in on this one?  I think your opinions are especially valuable here.
 
2013-03-23 09:23:25 AM  

js34603: Well this just has romantic comedy written all over it. Reese Witherspoon as the spunky small town girl just trying to make it in the big city, using her feminine wiles to score some free meals through online dating profiles, never dreaming she'd meet Mr. Right.

But oh, when she meets Ryan Gosling (or Liam Hemsworth if Gosling is busy) sparks are sure to fly and we'll all learn something about love!

Book it, done, call me Hollywood.


What happens when Ryan Gosling turns into Kate Blanchet?
 
2013-03-23 09:24:22 AM  
hack writer looking for an angle. gets a (probably unpaid) gig writing a troll article about chicks fooling dorks.

she will soon be a Jezebel staffer.
 
2013-03-23 09:24:56 AM  

Ennuipoet: This is why I take all my first dates to the McDonalds and have them order from the Dollar menu!


McDonald's... that's that fancy Irish restaurant I'm always hearing about, isn't it?
 
2013-03-23 09:25:23 AM  

Cerebral Knievel: js34603: Well this just has romantic comedy written all over it. Reese Witherspoon as the spunky small town girl just trying to make it in the big city, using her feminine wiles to score some free meals through online dating profiles, never dreaming she'd meet Mr. Right.

But oh, when she meets Ryan Gosling (or Liam Hemsworth if Gosling is busy) sparks are sure to fly and we'll all learn something about love!

Book it, done, call me Hollywood.

What happens when Ryan Gosling turns into Kate Blanchet?


The Crying Game 2: This Time You'll Like the Ending.
 
2013-03-23 09:25:29 AM  
Yaaawwwwnnnn.. Lets write an article about how I tricked people, how I got soooo many interested suitors, how it was sooo tough to juggle all of them. We get it. Youre sooo cool, so smart, so desired, so humbled, still available. And to to top it off.. Stingy with the psusy, so you're worthless.
 
2013-03-23 09:26:15 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: Never pay for dinner on the first date.


I met a girl again through facebook that I went to high school with. This was 12 years after graduating. I stood her up the first two times we were supposed to go out. The next time she came, picked me up, took me to dinner and to see a movie then dropped me off.

/She is my sweetie
//Could not be happier now
 
2013-03-23 09:26:49 AM  
After my divorce, I dated this hot little number who fit the half my age plus 7 criteria. Initially it was awesome, she had the looks and the sex drive to keep me very interested, however, every time we went out she'd casually order the most expensive shiat on the menu. A 5 course meal was nothing to her, even tho she'd only eat maybe half of all servings. I put up with it for a good while but slowly it became our downfall.
 
2013-03-23 09:26:51 AM  
She's a predator. Her dates are the prey. Life in the jungle baby.
 
2013-03-23 09:27:22 AM  
Funny, when I was too broke for meals, I went to the Food Bank. Talk about men are from Mars, huh?
 
2013-03-23 09:27:47 AM  

poe_zlaw: Yaaawwwwnnnn.. Lets write an article about how I tricked people, how I got soooo many interested suitors, how it was sooo tough to juggle all of them. We get it. Youre sooo cool, so smart, so desired, so humbled, still available. And to to top it off.. Stingy with the psusy, so you're worthless.


She's awash in male sexuality.
 
ecl
2013-03-23 09:29:55 AM  
This chick right here is why Rohypnol was invented.


/Hell
 
2013-03-23 09:31:14 AM  
-Feminism
 
2013-03-23 09:31:45 AM  
She will use the same excuses to rationalize that she isn't a whore when she will start to go on craigslist to exchange sex for money.
 
2013-03-23 09:32:19 AM  

Generation_D: Jokes on her. She had to eat with idiots she met off of craigslist and okcupid for 3 nights a week.


That's about it. It all sounds sort of torturous for a free meal.
 
2013-03-23 09:33:57 AM  

wild9: AverageAmericanGuy: Never pay for dinner on the first date.

I met a girl again through facebook that I went to high school with. This was 12 years after graduating. I stood her up the first two times we were supposed to go out. The next time she came, picked me up, took me to dinner and to see a movie then dropped me off.

/She is my sweetie
//Could not be happier now


you: at least 30 years old, no car, single, cant buy a girl dinner, unreliable, cant meet mew chicks, so finds old high school friends on the internet.. Of course youre happy. You found someone to put up with you.
 
2013-03-23 09:34:12 AM  

people: quickdraw: people: quickdraw: Interesting story though!

Norah/Ned has a great but not the only account of the wide disparity in roles for dating and the perspectives of gender.

Yeah. All sorts of accounts through history. It's interesting to me that we are finally confronting the false dichotomy of gender identity. Deconstructionism may have its uses after all.

Frankly, we've been both deconstructing and perpetuating gender identity at the same time - throughout history.  Its not a new trend.  We've had societies change in regards to gender identities through time.  I don't think I need to go into examples here. Let me know if I do.

At the same time, how are we, today, perpetuating the trope where women are merely objects to be acted upon, and only men have agency?  I see this trope abused lately.


Honestly? I think we need to put more women behind cameras. Our culture views its mass media through male eyes because it is 99% of the time a cameraman behind the lens. They aren't bad or evil. It's just a one sided view. I think it's best when there is a nice mix of genders, ages etc in a profession/group. I find all female environments to be just as scary as all male ones. Maybe scarier.
 
2013-03-23 09:34:23 AM  

The Ghost of Tom Ace: Ennuipoet: This is why I take all my first dates to the McDonalds and have them order from the Dollar menu!

McDonald's... that's that fancy Irish restaurant I'm always hearing about, isn't it?


Nay, tis Scottish.  You can tell by the bland food, poorly prepared and sold cheap.
 
2013-03-23 09:34:35 AM  

upndn: After my divorce, I dated this hot little number who fit the half my age plus 7 criteria. Initially it was awesome, she had the looks and the sex drive to keep me very interested, however, every time we went out she'd casually order the most expensive shiat on the menu. A 5 course meal was nothing to her, even tho she'd only eat maybe half of all servings. I put up with it for a good while but slowly it became our downfall.


I'm sure she was simply crushed.
 
2013-03-23 09:36:18 AM  
So, is she hot? How many blowjobs did she dole out during the process?

/DNRTFA
 
2013-03-23 09:36:18 AM  
She met hundred guys and found none of them interesting enough to see again. Is she exceptionally picky?
 
2013-03-23 09:36:26 AM  

rhiannon: Generation_D: Jokes on her. She had to eat with idiots she met off of craigslist and okcupid for 3 nights a week.

That's about it. It all sounds sort of torturous for a free meal.


temeez.com
 
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