If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Daily Mail)   Just another day at Wal-Mart   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 93
    More: Strange, Wal-Mart, propanes, utility vehicle, event planning  
•       •       •

17725 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Mar 2013 at 10:11 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



93 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-03-22 07:48:54 PM
...the Aristocrats!
 
2013-03-22 07:56:25 PM
Evoking Wall-Mart in this headline is like suing whoever has the most money, regardless of fault.
 
2013-03-22 07:58:32 PM
Walmart: your final destination for low prices.
 
2013-03-22 08:02:36 PM
They didn't even answer the most important question.

WHAT WAS HE EATING?!
 
2013-03-22 08:16:36 PM
Sung by Phil Collins.

He drives in, doesn't eat right
The pork rinds he has swallowed
Starts to crash as he crosses the lot
Seems intent on asploding

Oh think twice, it's another day for
You and me in paradise
 
2013-03-22 08:41:41 PM
Replete with

i.dailymail.co.uk

...what a propane tank may look like.
 
2013-03-22 09:05:21 PM
I bet the only thing that was choking was the chicken.
 
2013-03-22 09:07:00 PM
Shop smart. Shop S Mart.
 
2013-03-22 09:16:15 PM
I've been to that wal mart.
 
Pud [TotalFark]
2013-03-22 09:17:17 PM
A Red Box video rental machine was also destroyed.

OH dea' lawd nooo. Anythin' but that!!!

/Ah, it was the Walmart Superstore in Deming, New Mexico ...nevemind
 
2013-03-22 09:21:55 PM
What's most interesting about this article, is that this is probably the first and last time that Deming, NM, will make a headline in a British newspaper.

/not a knock on Deming, per se, but it is the middle of nowhere, New Mexico
//stopped at that Wal-Mart twice last summer, on my way to San Diego, CA and again on my way back
 
2013-03-22 09:59:32 PM

Pud: A Red Box video rental machine was also destroyed.

OH dea' lawd nooo. Anythin' but that!!!

/Ah, it was the Walmart Superstore in Deming, New Mexico ...nevemind


It was probably just paper DVDs and games anyway.
 
2013-03-22 10:12:47 PM
After hitting the SUV, Sheppard's pickup drove towards the east store entrance of the local Walmart Superstore.
 
2013-03-22 10:14:18 PM
Why am I not surprised that the only thing stopping a Wal-Mart shopper from stuffing food into their mouths is choking?
 
2013-03-22 10:14:26 PM
Why does a British site get so many greens covering stories from the USA?
 
2013-03-22 10:15:11 PM

xanadian: Replete with

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 306x423]

...what a propane tank may look like.


To be fair, it could have been something like this
www.missiongas.com

Which would have caused a substantially bigger boom, although I can't say I've ever seen one like that anywhere near a walmart parking lot before.
 
2013-03-22 10:17:44 PM

Popcorn Johnny: Why does a British site get so many greens covering stories from the USA?


[ Featured Partner ]  ?
 
2013-03-22 10:19:04 PM

Sgygus: Evoking Wall-Mart in this headline is like suing whoever has the most money, regardless of fault.


No. Weird shiat happens at Wal-mart. Regardless of scummy people, weird shiat goes down. When i worked there we had an incident similar to this one time, a guy tried to intentionally drive into the propane cage out front to kill himself. He missed completely and just ran into the side of the store. In the two years i worked there we had 3 suicide attempts in the parking lot. After i left wal-mart i spent about 2 years at office max. We had zero suicide attempts. Also i was never assaulted by a customer at office max, but thats back to the scummy people wal-mart attracts, not the general air of weirdness. As a manager at office max i never had to spend a day chasing a raccoon around the air ducts like my manager at wal-mart did.
 
2013-03-22 10:19:26 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Walmart: your final destination for low prices.


I see what you did there...

i108.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-22 10:19:43 PM
Ta-da!
 
2013-03-22 10:22:06 PM

Cyno01: Sgygus: Evoking Wall-Mart in this headline is like suing whoever has the most money, regardless of fault.

No. Weird shiat happens at Wal-mart. Regardless of scummy people, weird shiat goes down. When i worked there we had an incident similar to this one time, a guy tried to intentionally drive into the propane cage out front to kill himself. He missed completely and just ran into the side of the store. In the two years i worked there we had 3 suicide attempts in the parking lot. After i left wal-mart i spent about 2 years at office max. We had zero suicide attempts. Also i was never assaulted by a customer at office max, but thats back to the scummy people wal-mart attracts, not the general air of weirdness. As a manager at office max i never had to spend a day chasing a raccoon around the air ducts like my manager at wal-mart did.


The 3 suicide attempts were probably prompted by having to deal with other shoppers in Walmart...
 
2013-03-22 10:26:04 PM
That sounds like a country song
 
2013-03-22 10:27:35 PM
Strange things are afoot at the Circle K Wal-Mart.
 
2013-03-22 10:27:51 PM

Popcorn Johnny: Why does a British site get so many greens covering stories from the USA?


My theory is that DailyMail loves to run stories showing Americans acting like dumbasses or doing dumbass things. I don't know, maybe it makes them feel better about getting their ass kicked during the Revolutionary War. Because of this, it's easy pickins to get greens on a site that specializes in weird or dumbass news.
 
2013-03-22 10:30:49 PM
2.bp.blogspot.com
Twin peaks
 
2013-03-22 10:32:04 PM
fc00.deviantart.net
Reportedly rendered inconsolable.

/the accessories!
 
2013-03-22 10:32:29 PM
 
2013-03-22 10:34:25 PM

scottydoesntknow: Popcorn Johnny: Why does a British site get so many greens covering stories from the USA?

My theory is that DailyMail loves to run stories showing Americans acting like dumbasses or doing dumbass things. I don't know, maybe it makes them feel better about getting their ass kicked during the Revolutionary War. Because of this, it's easy pickins to get greens on a site that specializes in weird or dumbass news.


This is pretty much it. The Brits luuuuuurv seeing "Yanks" taken down a notch. This gets clicks, it is incredibly cheap for the Daily Mail to 'produce' these stories and it sells copy. Why they hit Fark so much is, I assume, because they are sponsored. I highly doubt the mods are approving them just for being weird, all the content is available on other sites and they seems to prefer drawing from a larger variety of sources then seeming to be heavily dependent on certain sites for content. I think this goes a long way to explain why we see so many greens from that one site.
 
2013-03-22 10:35:31 PM

Cyno01: Sgygus: Evoking Wall-Mart in this headline is like suing whoever has the most money, regardless of fault.

No. Weird shiat happens at Wal-mart. Regardless of scummy people, weird shiat goes down. When i worked there we had an incident similar to this one time, a guy tried to intentionally drive into the propane cage out front to kill himself. He missed completely and just ran into the side of the store. In the two years i worked there we had 3 suicide attempts in the parking lot. After i left wal-mart i spent about 2 years at office max. We had zero suicide attempts. Also i was never assaulted by a customer at office max, but thats back to the scummy people wal-mart attracts, not the general air of weirdness. As a manager at office max i never had to spend a day chasing a raccoon around the air ducts like my manager at wal-mart did.


it's a numbers game. many many wal-morts, lots of shoppers daily. you walk out on the street, for every so many people that pass you there is eventually a ex-convict, a craycray, a serial killer and a suicide waiting to happen. probability and such.
 
2013-03-22 10:37:48 PM

Cyno01: Sgygus: Evoking Wall-Mart in this headline is like suing whoever has the most money, regardless of fault.

No. Weird shiat happens at Wal-mart. Regardless of scummy people, weird shiat goes down. When i worked there we had an incident similar to this one time, a guy tried to intentionally drive into the propane cage out front to kill himself. He missed completely and just ran into the side of the store. In the two years i worked there we had 3 suicide attempts in the parking lot. After i left wal-mart i spent about 2 years at office max. We had zero suicide attempts. Also i was never assaulted by a customer at office max, but thats back to the scummy people wal-mart attracts, not the general air of weirdness. As a manager at office max i never had to spend a day chasing a raccoon around the air ducts like my manager at wal-mart did.


1. that's a weird-ass walmart
2. you're comparing a general goods and grocery store that most people visit once a week to an office supply store that I, an office worker and geek, visit maybe once a year.
 
2013-03-22 10:38:22 PM
 
2013-03-22 10:44:33 PM

Minerva8918: Cyno01: Sgygus: Evoking Wall-Mart in this headline is like suing whoever has the most money, regardless of fault.

No. Weird shiat happens at Wal-mart. Regardless of scummy people, weird shiat goes down. When i worked there we had an incident similar to this one time, a guy tried to intentionally drive into the propane cage out front to kill himself. He missed completely and just ran into the side of the store. In the two years i worked there we had 3 suicide attempts in the parking lot. After i left wal-mart i spent about 2 years at office max. We had zero suicide attempts. Also i was never assaulted by a customer at office max, but thats back to the scummy people wal-mart attracts, not the general air of weirdness. As a manager at office max i never had to spend a day chasing a raccoon around the air ducts like my manager at wal-mart did.

The 3 suicide attempts were probably prompted by having to deal with other shoppers in Walmart...


One of them possibly, i wasnt there that day. The guy who tried to ram the propane tanks hadnt even been in the store that day, and the other time, this lady walked in, beelined to the pharmacy, downed a bunch of pills and locked herself in her car in the parking lot.

None of those were as fun as the lady who had a seizure at the checkout, knocked the credit card pad off its stand and somehow managed to nick her carotid on the stand on the way down, spraying half a dozen customers in the next line with blood. THAT was a fun day. Id almost feel bad for the janitor having to deal with shiat like that all the time (and occasionally actual shiat), but he was an asshole.
 
2013-03-22 10:54:48 PM
Welcome to Earth, third rock from the sun.
 
2013-03-22 10:55:04 PM

Cyno01: Minerva8918: Cyno01: Sgygus: Evoking Wall-Mart in this headline is like suing whoever has the most money, regardless of fault.

No. Weird shiat happens at Wal-mart. Regardless of scummy people, weird shiat goes down. When i worked there we had an incident similar to this one time, a guy tried to intentionally drive into the propane cage out front to kill himself. He missed completely and just ran into the side of the store. In the two years i worked there we had 3 suicide attempts in the parking lot. After i left wal-mart i spent about 2 years at office max. We had zero suicide attempts. Also i was never assaulted by a customer at office max, but thats back to the scummy people wal-mart attracts, not the general air of weirdness. As a manager at office max i never had to spend a day chasing a raccoon around the air ducts like my manager at wal-mart did.

The 3 suicide attempts were probably prompted by having to deal with other shoppers in Walmart...

One of them possibly, i wasnt there that day. The guy who tried to ram the propane tanks hadnt even been in the store that day, and the other time, this lady walked in, beelined to the pharmacy, downed a bunch of pills and locked herself in her car in the parking lot.

None of those were as fun as the lady who had a seizure at the checkout, knocked the credit card pad off its stand and somehow managed to nick her carotid on the stand on the way down, spraying half a dozen customers in the next line with blood. THAT was a fun day. Id almost feel bad for the janitor having to deal with shiat like that all the time (and occasionally actual shiat), but he was an asshole.


Well...the parking lot traffic alone is enough to make me at least consider suicide.
 
2013-03-22 10:59:01 PM
Damn you, Smeggy Smurf!
 
2013-03-22 10:59:16 PM

blacksho89: Welcome to Earth, third rock from the sun.


media-cache-lt0.pinterest.com
 
2013-03-22 11:01:15 PM

Cyno01: Regardless of scummy people, weird shiat goes down.


I end up at my local Wally about once or twice a year.   I swear to god the same guy asks me for money in the parking lot EVERY TIME.
 
2013-03-22 11:03:49 PM

Popcorn Johnny: Why does a British site get so many greens covering stories from the USA?


They aren't behind a pay wall like many of the US sites.
 
2013-03-22 11:04:23 PM
 
2013-03-22 11:04:27 PM

xanadian: Replete with

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 306x423]

...what a propane tank may look like.


I'm so glad, I had no idea what a propane tank was until just now.
 
2013-03-22 11:04:32 PM

Shan: xanadian: Replete with

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 306x423]

...what a propane tank may look like.

To be fair, it could have been something like this
[www.missiongas.com image 463x170]

Which would have caused a substantially bigger boom, although I can't say I've ever seen one like that anywhere near a walmart parking lot before.


They said it was attached to a grill when he ran into it.  I'd be really impressed with a grill that needed one of those.

Also, if a LP tank that size exploded near a Wal Mart, they'd be cleaning up half the customers with shovels.
 
2013-03-22 11:12:52 PM

Cyno01: None of those were as fun as the lady who had a seizure at the checkout, knocked the credit card pad off its stand and somehow managed to nick her carotid on the stand on the way down, spraying half a dozen customers in the next line with blood. THAT was a fun day. Id almost feel bad for the janitor having to deal with shiat like that all the time (and occasionally actual shiat), but he was an asshole.


This isn't funny.  It's awful, and I feel really bad for the lady.  So why the fark am I laughing so hard?

/was she OK?
 
2013-03-22 11:14:30 PM
A Red Box video rental machine was also destroyed

Was there a RedBox employee inside? I hear they're always hiring.
 
2013-03-22 11:15:02 PM

Minerva8918: Cyno01: Sgygus: Evoking Wall-Mart in this headline is like suing whoever has the most money, regardless of fault.

No. Weird shiat happens at Wal-mart. Regardless of scummy people, weird shiat goes down. When i worked there we had an incident similar to this one time, a guy tried to intentionally drive into the propane cage out front to kill himself. He missed completely and just ran into the side of the store. In the two years i worked there we had 3 suicide attempts in the parking lot. After i left wal-mart i spent about 2 years at office max. We had zero suicide attempts. Also i was never assaulted by a customer at office max, but thats back to the scummy people wal-mart attracts, not the general air of weirdness. As a manager at office max i never had to spend a day chasing a raccoon around the air ducts like my manager at wal-mart did.

The 3 suicide attempts were probably prompted by having to deal with other shoppers in Walmart...


The suicide attempts were probably employees distraught over having to work for such an evil, soul-sucking company.
 
2013-03-22 11:17:10 PM

Merry Sunshine: Cyno01: None of those were as fun as the lady who had a seizure at the checkout, knocked the credit card pad off its stand and somehow managed to nick her carotid on the stand on the way down, spraying half a dozen customers in the next line with blood. THAT was a fun day. Id almost feel bad for the janitor having to deal with shiat like that all the time (and occasionally actual shiat), but he was an asshole.

This isn't funny.  It's awful, and I feel really bad for the lady.  So why the fark am I laughing so hard?

/was she OK?


Yeah, the Assistant Manager applied a tourniquet. When it's a nicked carotid you have to apply the tourniquet with extra force.
 
2013-03-22 11:19:08 PM

Merry Sunshine: Cyno01: None of those were as fun as the lady who had a seizure at the checkout, knocked the credit card pad off its stand and somehow managed to nick her carotid on the stand on the way down, spraying half a dozen customers in the next line with blood. THAT was a fun day. Id almost feel bad for the janitor having to deal with shiat like that all the time (and occasionally actual shiat), but he was an asshole.

This isn't funny.  It's awful, and I feel really bad for the lady.  So why the fark am I laughing so hard?

/was she OK?


Yeah, there was an EMT or something a few checkouts down who put pressure on it until the ambulance came, she was fine afaik. Not sure if she was epileptic or what. Completely farking traumatized the cashier tho, like huddled crying in the corner of the break room for the rest of the afternoon.
 
2013-03-22 11:19:14 PM
This would never have happened if that barbecue grill had been properly armed.

/Are people seriously white knighting Wal-Mart? The store will probably go out with you, but side effects may include obesity, lockjaw, diabetes, tinitus, pregnancy, dyslexia, aphoria, third degree burns,
 
2013-03-22 11:21:15 PM

Cyno01: Merry Sunshine: Cyno01: None of those were as fun as the lady who had a seizure at the checkout, knocked the credit card pad off its stand and somehow managed to nick her carotid on the stand on the way down, spraying half a dozen customers in the next line with blood. THAT was a fun day. Id almost feel bad for the janitor having to deal with shiat like that all the time (and occasionally actual shiat), but he was an asshole.

This isn't funny.  It's awful, and I feel really bad for the lady.  So why the fark am I laughing so hard?

/was she OK?

Yeah, there was an EMT or something a few checkouts down who put pressure on it until the ambulance came, she was fine afaik. Not sure if she was epileptic or what. Completely farking traumatized the cashier tho, like huddled crying in the corner of the break room for the rest of the afternoon.


...they made her finish her shift?

holy fark
 
2013-03-22 11:28:59 PM

Infernalist: Cyno01: Merry Sunshine: Cyno01: None of those were as fun as the lady who had a seizure at the checkout, knocked the credit card pad off its stand and somehow managed to nick her carotid on the stand on the way down, spraying half a dozen customers in the next line with blood. THAT was a fun day. Id almost feel bad for the janitor having to deal with shiat like that all the time (and occasionally actual shiat), but he was an asshole.

This isn't funny.  It's awful, and I feel really bad for the lady.  So why the fark am I laughing so hard?

/was she OK?

Yeah, there was an EMT or something a few checkouts down who put pressure on it until the ambulance came, she was fine afaik. Not sure if she was epileptic or what. Completely farking traumatized the cashier tho, like huddled crying in the corner of the break room for the rest of the afternoon.

...they made her finish her shift?

holy fark


IDK, i just know she had her face in her knees on a chair in the corner of the breakroom through 3 of my smoke breaks and then she went home, no clue if she was still clocked in or not.
 
2013-03-22 11:33:56 PM

Cyno01: As a manager at office max i never had to spend a day chasing a raccoon around the air ducts like my manager at wal-mart did.


encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
 
Displayed 50 of 93 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report