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(MLive.com)   Woman is shocked. Shocked. That Massage Therapist molested her during massage. With "Come on, you got to be kidding, you thought this was a legit masseuse?" Mugshot   (mlive.com) divider line 106
    More: Scary, massage therapists, Cascade Township, Sex and the law  
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25351 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Mar 2013 at 5:40 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-22 04:11:16 PM
Article - B+
Mugshot - A (This is why you shouldn't play with the lawnmower, children)
Comments - A+

Bonus:  The guy had a Groupon for his "services".
 
2013-03-22 04:13:07 PM
That has to be an all-time mugshot.
 
2013-03-22 04:15:18 PM

superdolfan1: Article - B+
Mugshot - A (This is why you shouldn't play with the lawnmower, children)
Comments - A+

Bonus:  The guy had a Groupon for his "services".


Yep:

http://www.groupon.com/deals/tsf-massage

TSF MassageCertified therapist Lawrence Urban buttresses the body's self-healing abilities with wellness boosting therapeutic massages. Before starting sessions, Larry works with patience to develop treatment plans that cater to client's needs. In addition to traditional Swedish techniques that foster relaxation, he brings balance to the body's energy pathways through cranial-sacral release. During reflexology sessions, he skillfully targets ailments all over the body by gently kneading their corresponding points on the hands and feet. Unperturbed by a challenging case, Larry also aides bodies in their natural healing processes to help muscles oppressed by chronic pain, which is often caused by fibromyalgia, sleeping at the bottom of a human pyramid, or other conditions.

WHAT.
 
2013-03-22 04:15:49 PM

FishyFred: That has to be an all-time mugshot.


?
 
2013-03-22 04:17:07 PM
Creepy "massage therapy guy"
media.mlive.com

Totally Looks Like

an ostrich
www.subdude-site.com
 
2013-03-22 04:23:11 PM
9thcivic.com
 
2013-03-22 04:29:32 PM
I prefer this quote from the Groupon:

"Getting a massage is a decadent way to pamper yourself, much like brushing your hair with the bones of a famous person. Live lavishly with this Groupon. "
 
2013-03-22 04:31:32 PM
And, of course, Groupon's promise to you...

"We're confident in the businesses we feature on Groupon and back them with the Groupon Promise. "
 
2013-03-22 05:12:44 PM
Why would any sane woman let THAT touch her to begin with??
 
2013-03-22 05:18:30 PM
I think he is innocent.

Also remind me to NOT answer the door when I am shaving my head -no matter how loud the knock.
 
2013-03-22 05:44:35 PM
Seems legit
 
2013-03-22 05:46:53 PM
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-03-22 05:47:07 PM
Masseuse?  That's a WOMAN?

FYI

Masseur - A man who gives massages professionally.

Masseuse - A woman who gives massages professionally.
 
2013-03-22 05:47:42 PM
Masseuse is the feminine noun of a masseur, so yes, I would be surprised.

Just saying.
 
2013-03-22 05:47:54 PM
"masseuse" is the term for a female massage therapist, while "masseur" is the term for a male massage therapist, FAILmitter.
 
2013-03-22 05:47:59 PM
"Come on, you got to be kidding, you thought this was a legit masseuse?"

Subby, a FEMALE massage therapist would be a "masseuse".
A MALE is a "monsieur".

/And one that molests his subjects is a "monsignor".
 
2013-03-22 05:48:18 PM
Grrr lawboy87

\shakes tiny fist
 
2013-03-22 05:48:41 PM
Hot damn, almost an epic Triple Simulpost!
 
2013-03-22 05:48:41 PM

deana: Why would any sane woman let THAT touch her to begin with??


Indeed. I wouldn't be comfortable being in the same room as that guy. I wouldn't let him touch me even if he paid me.
 
2013-03-22 05:49:25 PM

superdolfan1: Article - B+
Mugshot - A (This is why you shouldn't play with the lawnmower, children)
Comments - A+

Bonus:  The guy had a Groupe-on for his "services".


-FTFY
 
2013-03-22 05:49:39 PM
From a linked article in TFA:
"During the massage, Lawrence admits to ... asking her if she wanted to orgasm," Russo told a judge. "After the victim (stated) "no," Lawrence told the victim that 'your body is telling me one thing, but you are telling me another.'"
Lawrence allegedly told police he was given "every indication" - through the woman's body language and the way her muscles felt - that she wanted to be pleasured sexually.
Russo told a judge Lawrence admitted to touching the woman's genitals without her consent, as she was lying face-down on a massage table.


This sounds like a Brazzers ad with Lisa Ann.  That my friend told me about.  Yeah, a friend, that's the ticket.
 
2013-03-22 05:51:15 PM
At some point it's probably a good idea to just shave it all off. Also, you shouldn't molest people. I should probably email this guy some advice.
 
2013-03-22 05:52:17 PM
he like shaved half of it to say like "look i can either look normal by shaving it.  or look like a creep with half shaved.  i'll go for creep"
 
2013-03-22 05:53:25 PM
i148.photobucket.com

/oop ack
 
2013-03-22 05:53:55 PM

Nidiot: deana: Why would any sane woman let THAT touch her to begin with??

Indeed. I wouldn't be comfortable being in the same room as that guy. I wouldn't let him touch me even if he paid me.


Are you saying that you might consider letting someone else pay you... ?
 
2013-03-22 05:53:58 PM
So, does anyone know what this guy's Fark handle is?
 
2013-03-22 05:54:00 PM
He doesn't look anything like that Japanese "therapist" in a white lab coat

/Or so I heard
 
2013-03-22 05:54:38 PM
From the comments:

Jack Flakne
He hears better in his lower ear.


I chuckled.
 
2013-03-22 05:55:32 PM
Maybe he was wearing a hat when he was massaging her. I mean, a hat hides a lot.
 
2013-03-22 05:56:06 PM

Sgt Otter: superdolfan1: Article - B+
Mugshot - A (This is why you shouldn't play with the lawnmower, children)
Comments - A+

Bonus:  The guy had a Groupon for his "services".

Yep:

http://www.groupon.com/deals/tsf-massage

TSF MassageCertified therapist Lawrence Urban buttresses the body's self-healing abilities with wellness boosting therapeutic massages. Before starting sessions, Larry works with patience to develop treatment plans that cater to client's needs. In addition to traditional Swedish techniques that foster relaxation, he brings balance to the body's energy pathways through cranial-sacral release. During reflexology sessions, he skillfully targets ailments all over the body by gently kneading their corresponding points on the hands and feet. Unperturbed by a challenging case, Larry also aides bodies in their natural healing processes to help muscles oppressed by chronic pain, which is often caused by fibromyalgia, sleeping at the bottom of a human pyramid, or other conditions.

WHAT.


lol

And may I just say while we're on the subject, the 'masseuse' on farkedhard18 has the most enviable job I know of. Every chick on there...
 
2013-03-22 05:56:07 PM

Chariset: Creepy "massage therapy guy"
[media.mlive.com image 380x462]

Totally Looks Like

an ostrich
[www.subdude-site.com image 389x351]


But that's an emu.
 
2013-03-22 05:56:13 PM
Ah the patch up front.

This is part of why I shave my head.
 
2013-03-22 05:56:24 PM
his defense "well i was just playing therapist.  because that is what i am"
 
2013-03-22 05:56:36 PM
From a related story: Lawrence allegedly told police he was given "every indication" - through the woman's body language and the way her muscles felt - that she wanted to be pleasured sexually.

Hah. Right. Perhaps he was reading shudders of fear and disgust for something else entirely.

/Ew ew ew ew ew...
 
2013-03-22 05:59:01 PM
media.mlive.com
It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again
 
2013-03-22 06:00:54 PM
On of the comments on the site said it looks like he may have had surgery on his head. Look at the bald section, it does seem to look lighter than the rest of his flesh. You can almost see a line.
So maybe he didn't go all Leave it to Beaver giving himself a haircut. Or maybe he did and they had to do skin grafts to fix it.
 
2013-03-22 06:01:56 PM
Only half-shocked. Only half....
 
2013-03-22 06:03:24 PM
Lawrence allegedly told police he was given "every indication" - through the woman's body language and the way her muscles felt - that she wanted to be pleasured sexually.

And since he was right there....
 
2013-03-22 06:03:51 PM
Looks like half of his head has been filled in with mortician's clay.
 
2013-03-22 06:04:05 PM
i1303.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-22 06:04:05 PM
Haha oh wow
 
2013-03-22 06:04:41 PM

cr7pilot: I prefer this quote from the Groupon:

"Getting a massage is a decadent way to pamper yourself, much like brushing your hair with the bones of a famous person. Live lavishly with this Groupon. "


That's 'puts the lotion on its skin' territory right there.
 
2013-03-22 06:05:23 PM
Sounds like the masseur forgot the three rules.

1. Be handsome.

2. Be attractive.

3. Don't be unattractive.
 
2013-03-22 06:09:42 PM

que.guero: Sounds like the masseur forgot the three rules.

1. Be handsome.

2. Be attractive.

3. Don't be unattractive.


content9.flixster.com

Just don't be too attractive.
 
2013-03-22 06:10:00 PM
data.whicdn.com
 
2013-03-22 06:12:31 PM
Well in all fairness the ad did say pregnancy massage.

/Should have read the fine print
 
2013-03-22 06:15:55 PM
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-03-22 06:16:00 PM

buckeyebrain: "masseuse" is the term for a female massage therapist, while "masseur" is the term for a male massage therapist, FAILmitter.


i.imgur.com
 
2013-03-22 06:16:26 PM

valar_morghulis: Looks like half of his head has been filled in with mortician's clay.


www.spikednation.com
 
2013-03-22 06:19:54 PM
i.imgur.com
 
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