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(Gawker)   Look, poors. You can mock us job creators all you want, but we suffer too. Sometimes we live in 11th century castles that weren't built for cars   (gawker.com) divider line 58
    More: Weird, street performer, Rhine River  
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9233 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Mar 2013 at 6:43 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-22 06:44:28 PM  
Would a car elevator help?
 
2013-03-22 06:50:15 PM  
It is almost as if heavy defensive fortifications were designed to defend areas of land and quarter soldiers, rather then be trendy living space.
 
2013-03-22 06:50:29 PM  
Still no word from the inventor of the flying car?
 
2013-03-22 06:51:00 PM  
Heh, "poors". I'm gonna start using that one.
 
2013-03-22 06:51:29 PM  
You don't need a castle to attract "large tracts of land".
 
2013-03-22 06:51:30 PM  
PonceAlyosha: It is almost as if heavy defensive fortifications were designed to defend areas of land and quarter soldiers, rather then be trendy living space.

I'll bet they become all the rage after the goddamn zombies come
 
2013-03-22 06:52:13 PM  

Oldiron_79: PonceAlyosha: It is almost as if heavy defensive fortifications were designed to defend areas of land and quarter soldiers, rather then be trendy living space.

I'll bet they become all the rage after the goddamn zombies come


Shizzle that's my theory too, there's a museum in town here built like a castle and that's totally where I'm going when the iPhone 6 comes out.
 
2013-03-22 06:52:49 PM  
I read the headline in John Hodgeman's voice.
 
2013-03-22 06:53:39 PM  
Made me laugh, subby, good job! I'm also stealing "Poors".
 
2013-03-22 06:53:57 PM  

Oldiron_79: PonceAlyosha: It is almost as if heavy defensive fortifications were designed to defend areas of land and quarter soldiers, rather then be trendy living space.

I'll bet they become all the rage after the goddamn zombies come


Not any more than a 2nd story apartment with a fire escape.
 
2013-03-22 06:54:13 PM  
Perhaps the Castle Keep Foundation can help provide a safety net for these needy.
 
2013-03-22 06:55:00 PM  
My heart farking weeps.
 
2013-03-22 06:56:04 PM  

WhippingBoy: Heh, "poors". I'm gonna start using that one.


The only poor people I want to hear about are the people who attend to my pores at the spa.

theinfosphere.org
 
2013-03-22 06:57:20 PM  
Having to put chlorine in the moat every day is a hassle.
 
2013-03-22 06:57:56 PM  
It would probably end up being cheaper to build a replica, except with all the modern amenities one would expect in the twenty first century.
 
2013-03-22 06:59:02 PM  

uncleacid: Having to put chlorine in the moat every day is a hassle.


Couldn't he just get some Poors to do it?

/crap, it just works so well
 
2013-03-22 06:59:21 PM  
Is it me, or are "eat the rich" type articles becoming more and more familiar?
 
2013-03-22 06:59:56 PM  

Need a Dispenser Here: Is it me, or are "eat the rich" type articles becoming more and more familiar?


Common, not familiar. Mind's on the weekend, body's not quite there yet...
 
2013-03-22 07:00:05 PM  
img542.imageshack.us
 
2013-03-22 07:00:12 PM  
Anyone who lives in a castle is just hoping a ghost will rape them.
 
2013-03-22 07:01:18 PM  

Need a Dispenser Here: Is it me, or are "eat the rich" type articles becoming more and more familiar?


It's not really the being rich, its the whining about how hard it is to be wealthy in this day and age that gets everyone riled up
 
2013-03-22 07:03:45 PM  
Enjoy it while you can

wordspy.com
 
2013-03-22 07:04:47 PM  

MFAWG: Need a Dispenser Here: Is it me, or are "eat the rich" type articles becoming more and more familiar?

It's not really the being rich, its the whining about how hard it is to be wealthy in this day and age that gets everyone riled up


Like a Playboy model complaining to a bunch of hunchbacks in wheelchairs about how her huge breast implants make her shoulders sore and when they tell her to shut the fark up, she tells them they're just jealous haters.
 
2013-03-22 07:05:26 PM  
FunkOut: Anyone who lives in a castle is just hoping a ghost will rape them.

Party foul for not posting pic of rape ghost from Robot Chicken. R-R-R-R-Rape ghost!
 
2013-03-22 07:05:30 PM  

Lionel Mandrake: Enjoy it while you can

[wordspy.com image 300x198]


Fortunately castles are especially effective defense against rabbles of unorganized miscreants, what do you think is going to give way first:  12th century heavy rock or an iPhone?
 
2013-03-22 07:07:35 PM  

Need a Dispenser Here: Is it me, or are "eat the rich" type articles becoming more and more familiar?


I don't mind the rich.  I hope to be one someday.  I hate the NYT Magazine type articles about how the Larkinfleur family had to downsize by moving into a 3,500 sq. ft home and trading in the Bentley for a Porche Cayenne.

You bought a farking castle.  I'm not going to sympathize with your headache that it's mildly irritating to go to the store.
 
2013-03-22 07:09:58 PM  

MFAWG: Need a Dispenser Here: Is it me, or are "eat the rich" type articles becoming more and more familiar?

It's not really the being rich, its the whining about how hard it is to be wealthy in this day and age that gets everyone riled up


You Poors don't know what it's like. I don't expect you to understand.

/OK, I'll stop now
 
2013-03-22 07:14:16 PM  

FunkOut: Anyone who lives in a castle is just hoping a ghost will rape them.


Tell me more about your daydreams.
 
Ehh
2013-03-22 07:16:56 PM  
The downside is having to walk to your car, but there's that sweet sweet upside of raining arrows, rocks, and hot oil on the tourists helots.

/It's like they made the place to be hard to get to.
 
2013-03-22 07:19:29 PM  
Fitzgerald: The Rich are different from the Poor.
Hemingway: Yes, They have more money.
 
2013-03-22 07:32:19 PM  
It's funny, cause all the rabblerousers that want to start the revolution will be the first up against the wall.

/they will be put there by those poorer than themselves.
//seriously, look at history. The figurehead gets the axe, and then the pondscum gets conscripted into the middleclass vs middleclass war, while the rich drink their appletinis
 
2013-03-22 07:32:23 PM  

On the Side: FunkOut: Anyone who lives in a castle is just hoping a ghost will rape them.

Tell me more about your daydreams.


Prostidroids and rodeos with dinosaurs.
 
2013-03-22 07:44:06 PM  

Ablejack: Fitzgerald: The Rich are different from the Poor.
Hemingway: Yes, They have more money.


Link
 
2013-03-22 07:44:47 PM  
Duh, the answer is to buy a 15th-century castle to keep your cars in.
 
2013-03-22 07:47:10 PM  
This is why they need tax brakes. How can they hire all those servants and create jobs without tax breaks?

/Everyone needs a Groom of the Stool
 
2013-03-22 07:51:55 PM  

BumpInTheNight: Lionel Mandrake: Enjoy it while you can

[wordspy.com image 300x198]

Fortunately castles are especially effective defense against rabbles of unorganized miscreants, what do you think is going to give way first:  12th century heavy rock or an iPhone?


That was really meant to be a symbolic image, not a literal advocation of storming castles with torches and pitchforks.

Some revolutions against the old order are pretty organized.  And some of them succeed.
 
2013-03-22 07:53:04 PM  

MFAWG: Need a Dispenser Here: Is it me, or are "eat the rich" type articles becoming more and more familiar?

It's not really the being rich, its the whining about how hard it is to be wealthy in this day and age that gets everyone riled up


THIS.
If you're fortunate enough to have anything you want while entire nation-states worth of people are having tree bark for dinner, then STFU and enjoy it.

 
2013-03-22 08:00:41 PM  

FunkOut: On the Side: FunkOut: Anyone who lives in a castle is just hoping a ghost will rape them.

Tell me more about your daydreams.

Prostidroids and rodeos with dinosaurs.


I prefer the term "whorebots".
 
2013-03-22 08:07:01 PM  

FunkOut: Anyone who lives in a castle is just hoping a ghost will rape them.


Not true. I've been praying for ghost rape for years and it never happened.
 
2013-03-22 08:33:12 PM  

Lsherm: FunkOut: Anyone who lives in a castle is just hoping a ghost will rape them.

Not true. I've been praying for ghost rape for years and it never happened.


Have you considered mixing LSD and Ambien?
 
2013-03-22 08:35:36 PM  
Honestly, there are worse things that rich people can do with lots of money than maintaining historic stuff. Do you get pissed at people for being disappointed that they have to sell their classic cars? Even if inequity is greatly reduced, there will still be some people who can afford to own and maintain a millenium old castle. There are over 5,000 castles "junked" in Germany (FTFA), so it is not like the gov can/should try to hold on to them all.

I am torn about this shiat: I dislike ostentatious rich people (or non-rich for that matter), but without them blowing money on stuff there would be no Fallingwater (by F. L. Wright), for example. This is a mighty lofty comparison for most of the crap bought that could feed an entire small town for a year, but the line is unclear. I may very utilitarian-minded and prefer to own few things, but if (again, for example) art museums had only Quaker art (read: boring chairs and tables) I would find life less worth living.

Agreed that those who can afford a castle can STFU about not being about to park their Cayenne in it. Publicly biatching about it is stupid, and a newspaper that publishes an article of that is really stupid.
 
2013-03-22 08:39:12 PM  

Hagbardr: Lsherm: FunkOut: Anyone who lives in a castle is just hoping a ghost will rape them.

Not true. I've been praying for ghost rape for years and it never happened.

Have you considered mixing LSD and Ambien?


OMG that sounds like fun!

/sounds like a trip! GET IT?! A TRIP?!?!?!?!
 
2013-03-22 09:06:11 PM  
Despite what the article says, Nicolas Cage is not Francis Ford Coppola's son. He's his nephew.
 
2013-03-22 09:15:44 PM  
I think that rich people who own castles should be subject to the rules of castle ownership from the middle ages, i.e., we peasants should be able to band together and lay siege to the castle, and if we can capture the castle's lord, we get to keep the castle and live there, appointing a new lord of the castle while letting the previous lord rot in the oubliette.
 
2013-03-22 09:16:20 PM  

ZeroCorpse: I think that rich people who own castles should be subject to the rules of castle ownership from the middle ages, i.e., we peasants should be able to band together and lay siege to the castle, and if we can capture the castle's lord, we get to keep the castle and live there, appointing a new lord of the castle while letting the previous lord rot in the oubliette.


^citation needed
 
2013-03-22 09:25:14 PM  
You'd think if you could afford a castle you could afford to have a driveway graded a short distance up to it.

You wouldn't even have to pave it, if you're in dire financial straits.
 
2013-03-22 09:27:04 PM  

ZeroCorpse: I think that rich people who own castles should be subject to the rules of castle ownership from the middle ages, i.e., we peasants should be able to band together and lay siege to the castle, and if we can capture the castle's lord, we get to keep the castle and live there, appointing a new lord of the castle while letting the previous lord rot in the oubliette.


If they can afford a castle they can afford a minigun, and would enjoy mowing you down. come at me peasant bro.
 
2013-03-22 09:43:18 PM  

Tentacle: It would probably end up being cheaper to build a replica, except with all the modern amenities one would expect in the twenty first century.


But where's the fun in that? Sure, you live in a castle but it's not one that some "real nobility" once inhabited. How else are you going to brag about it?
 
2013-03-22 10:16:06 PM  
Hey poor!
Hey poor!
Hey poor, you don't have to be poor anymore!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aXGJZmOxBM
 
2013-03-22 11:03:03 PM  

DrewCurtisJr: ZeroCorpse: I think that rich people who own castles should be subject to the rules of castle ownership from the middle ages, i.e., we peasants should be able to band together and lay siege to the castle, and if we can capture the castle's lord, we get to keep the castle and live there, appointing a new lord of the castle while letting the previous lord rot in the oubliette.

If they can afford a castle they can afford a minigun, and would enjoy mowing you down. come at me peasant bro.


It doesn't take violence to siege a castle, it only takes a complete work stoppage and supply cutoff.  If the rich were cutoff in their castle with no one to maintain the castle and no way to leave the castle will eventually win the battle for the poor.  Shoot away bro, trenches are really just big ditches.  This ditch digger is ready.

A cousin of mine has a big house that woe is her, is now worth only $800,000.  It once was worth $1.3 mil, and her husband kept going on about how much maintenance cost for the year, which is probably more than I make in a year.  Her problems aren't my problems and they can stay that way.
 
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