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(Jezebel)   Waah, my illness has become trendy   (jezebel.com) divider line 32
    More: Advice, gluten, wheat glutens, illness, whoopie pies, NPD Group  
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13729 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Mar 2013 at 6:34 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-03-22 06:40:35 PM
7 votes:
I drove a Celiac once. Never again. I will stick with German engineering.
2013-03-22 06:39:35 PM
6 votes:
I have a new kind of Celiac disease. It's Canadian; you've probably never heard of it.
2013-03-22 07:18:14 PM
3 votes:
As long as I don't develop an allergy to my boy friends semen, it's all good.

static.lulu.comwww.kazak.com
2013-03-22 06:49:51 PM
3 votes:
The writer's first problem is trusting anyone. Never trust anybody. Do everything yourself. Other people will just fark things up. Maintain a seige mentality. You never take the word of a 17 year old working the sandwich counter that "Oh yeah dude, there's no wheat in this bread." When someone says "OMG, I like totes felt my energy get balanced when I cut out the gluten and I've got the best beach body this year ever!", you don't just grit your teeth and resent them; you let out a mighty roar inches from their face, grab them by the ears, and headbutt them over and over and then burn their yoga mat.
2013-03-22 06:49:32 PM
3 votes:
Listen celiac sufferers, you are all evolutionary throwbacks. Either adapt or get the hell out of the gene pool.
2013-03-22 07:23:55 PM
2 votes:

Matthew Keene: As long as I don't develop an allergy to my boy friends semen, it's all good.

[static.lulu.com image 403x320][www.kazak.com image 640x528]


That seems like something from the minds of project mayhem.
www.ihatebillboards.com
2013-03-22 07:04:43 PM
2 votes:
I eat all the gluten I can get my farking hands on. Sugar, too. And dairy.

So, yeah, I'm doing my part. Try not to admire me too much, it'll just make you feel bad.
2013-03-22 06:59:36 PM
2 votes:

fsbilly: FunkOut: Contrabulous Flabtraption: I think Celiac "sufferers" should be concentrated in campgrounds. If you can't even eat the thing that made human civilization possible, you really have no business being among the rest of us.

People who can't survive measles, mumps, and tetanus without vaccines are just weak.

No, just unfortunate.


I once used willpower to overcome the plague.
2013-03-22 06:56:31 PM
2 votes:
4.bp.blogspot.com
2013-03-22 06:53:07 PM
2 votes:
"Will Everyone Please Eat Gluten? Please? Because You Are Literally Killing Me"

No. F*ck yourself in the ass with a peanut butter sandwich and die.
2013-03-22 06:52:10 PM
2 votes:
FTA: I've been a Celiac for 14 years.

images3.wikia.nocookie.net
2013-03-22 06:42:52 PM
2 votes:
If you don't like celery don't eat it.
2013-03-23 01:40:48 AM
1 votes:
Reading articles on Jezebel tend to make me feel two ways.

1. That women really are wretched creatures who live to nitpick and biatch and moan about stupid bull shiat.

2. That writers on Jezebel need to spend less time at the beach playing in the sand and writing afterwards.
2013-03-23 12:04:45 AM
1 votes:
I have asthma. Before everyone got all pissy about smokers I couldn't go to bars or restaurants that allowed smoking. When I explained to someone that I wouldn't be able to breathe if they smoked near me, they understood.

Then hating on smokers got trendy. I was able to finally go out to eat and hang out with friends on Friday nights! It was great. No more smoke to trigger my asthma!

But now that so many people hate on smokers, when I try to explain that I won't be able to breathe they just think I'm some douchy coont.

So please people, go back to embracing smokers. Encourage kids to smoke in public. Let everyone smoke in church so I can go back to being a pissy little biatch.
2013-03-22 09:30:31 PM
1 votes:
I know this one dumb biatch who won't shut up about her "Gluten Allergy" on Facebook, always posting photos of her new GF recipes or meals she's eating.

She also often posts pictures of her drinking beer.
2013-03-22 08:38:49 PM
1 votes:
Gluten: the new Al Qaeda
2013-03-22 07:48:50 PM
1 votes:

skozlaw: The My Little Pony Killer: The problem with asking all the non-celiac gluten-free dieters to please start eating gluten again is that the celiacs have more (and better tasting) gluten-free options where there previously were none.

He's got a point though. A bunch of people have decided to run around being "trendy" by pretending they have a serious disease so now it's more difficult for him because people start becoming indifferent. There's a bunch of morons making special requests for no good reason, food preparers get tired of tired of hearing it, and he gets screwed. There aren't any consequences for the pretenders because they'll never know, but he gets sick.

He should get free nut shots on those people.



I have an allergy to shellfish, and make it a point to let the server know when I go out to eat. If they act like I'm just following a trend or making an excuse, I pull out my Epi-pen and tell them what to do if I fall to the floor.

So far, I haven't had a problem with any restaurant mixing shellfish with my food, even on dishes that normally would contain shellfish.
2013-03-22 07:40:19 PM
1 votes:
My mother (76  years old) has a solution for this.

She comes back and shiats all over the floor in the bathroom if the waiter says it's gluten free and it's not.
2013-03-22 07:39:48 PM
1 votes:
"[. . .] most of them just cause."

usarmy.vo.llnwd.net

/anyone else have this come to mind?
//obscure?
2013-03-22 07:31:59 PM
1 votes:
Life was so much easier when we could just eat bacon, Yorkshire puddings, raw milk, and kegs of ale, then die in the bliss of ignorance!
2013-03-22 07:27:28 PM
1 votes:
I don't care what anybody else eats.  I don't care about your diet, I don't care about the pictures you take of your food, and I don't care about the good feeling you get explaining to everyone else why your food choices are superior.  It doesn't matter to me.  If it's bad for your health, don't eat it.  I don't care.  Your menu means as much to me as my choice of underwear means to you.  Live, and eat the things that make you happy until you die.

I don't even wear underwear sometimes.
2013-03-22 07:15:20 PM
1 votes:
my wife's grandmother was diagnosed with celiac A LONG time ago, well before any of this was a thing.

she basically lives off steak and vodka.
2013-03-22 07:13:00 PM
1 votes:

Smelly Pirate Hooker: I eat all the gluten I can get my farking hands on. Sugar, too. And dairy.

So, yeah, I'm doing my part. Try not to admire me too much, it'll just make you feel bad.


I'm on the real butter/real sugar/no low fat product food train. I'm kind enough to remove baked goods from the reach of those who shouldn't eat them.
2013-03-22 07:11:10 PM
1 votes:
fusillade762:
[www.crwflags.com image 336x216]

Eat_At_Milliways:
[segaretro.org image 320x224]


_oop thread!
2013-03-22 07:09:03 PM
1 votes:
Hold your hands here and say "Waah".
2013-03-22 07:01:05 PM
1 votes:

JASLaX42: Been doing a modified Paleo for almost two years, lost 40lbs. Sorry but this "trendy" lifestyle is actually very healthy for some people, and also even the fake gluten stuff isnt good for you either. I think this writer needs to do more research before whining.


It's almost as if regulating your total consumption regularly makes you lose weight, regardless of what exactly you cut out.
2013-03-22 06:57:09 PM
1 votes:
Had an obnoxious French 'friend' tell me that gluten was glue.

Oh and that microwaves changes the molecular structure of water.

We arent friends anymore.
2013-03-22 06:53:08 PM
1 votes:

Contrabulous Flabtraption: I think Celiac "sufferers" should be concentrated in campgrounds. If you can't even eat the thing that made human civilization possible, you really have no business being among the rest of us.


People who can't survive measles, mumps, and tetanus without vaccines are just weak.
2013-03-22 06:49:17 PM
1 votes:

fusillade762: going gluten-free is not a almond flour paved path to the GOOP holy trifecta of increased energy, a dewy complexion and perfectly fitting skinny jeans.

[www.crwflags.com image 336x216]

/boop


segaretro.org
2013-03-22 06:44:39 PM
1 votes:
going gluten-free is not a almond flour paved path to the GOOP holy trifecta of increased energy, a dewy complexion and perfectly fitting skinny jeans.

www.crwflags.com

/boop
2013-03-22 06:42:29 PM
1 votes:
because a little dusting of flour on a piece of flounder equals a few days in bed for me.

Its usually 2-3 minutes max for me, you should get out more and get it on more often.
2013-03-22 06:38:11 PM
1 votes:
So it's not lupus then.

/DNRTFA
 
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