If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Betabeat)   Bill Gates is offering $100,000 to the inventor of the next generation condom. Ideas to the right   (betabeat.com) divider line 203
    More: Amusing, Defense Secretary Robert Gates, Gothamist, female condom, inventors, Gates Foundation  
•       •       •

6076 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Mar 2013 at 2:01 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



203 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-03-22 01:35:55 PM
Want to decrease the number of unwanted pregnancies?  Turn on the lights.
 
2013-03-22 01:43:48 PM
Not sure how you could really improve on that.  How about better distribution of the ones we already have?  You know, free to anyone who wants them, especialy in Africa but also here in the states.  It's an excellent investment, as are birth control pills.
 
2013-03-22 01:45:45 PM
www.freepatentsonline.com
 
2013-03-22 01:51:48 PM

show me: [www.freepatentsonline.com image 850x768]


Condom with world's tiniest bongo drum attached for post-coital celebration? Tell me more...
 
2013-03-22 02:02:25 PM
I have the perfect name for it:


BLUE SCREEN OF DICK
 
2013-03-22 02:02:45 PM
www.aceshowbiz.com
 
2013-03-22 02:04:24 PM
in before full body condom from naked gun
 
2013-03-22 02:04:47 PM
i871.photobucket.com
/oblig.
 
2013-03-22 02:05:07 PM

Elzar: show me: [www.freepatentsonline.com image 850x768]

Condom with world's tiniest bongo drum attached for post-coital celebration? Tell me more...


I shall play you the song of my people.
 
2013-03-22 02:06:22 PM
fc07.deviantart.net
Who needs a condom when 3 stitches fixes?
 
2013-03-22 02:06:41 PM
4.bp.blogspot.com

Surprised he's THAT concerned about sailors.
 
2013-03-22 02:06:45 PM
fark condoms. It's Bareback Jones or Blowjob Willy all the way.
 
2013-03-22 02:07:03 PM
You can never trust birth control. The only answer is more funding for abstinence-only education. It's the only way. Come on, Bill, you've got the dough - pony up.

/Or lots more gay sex. That'll lower birthrates too.
 
2013-03-22 02:07:11 PM

nekom: Not sure how you could really improve on that.  How about better distribution of the ones we already have?  You know, free to anyone who wants them, especialy in Africa but also here in the states.  It's an excellent investment, as are birth control pills.


http://www.amazon.com/60-Durex-Condoms-Variety-Pack/dp/B000FCGDHW/re f= sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1363975486&sr=8-1&keywords=condoms

$.28 each. How much closer to free do you want?
 
2013-03-22 02:07:59 PM
One that turns your partner into a six-pack and a pizza right after you're done?
 
2013-03-22 02:08:31 PM
Interestingly, I don't think the answer to solving the STD and unwanted pregnancy problem in Africa lies in condoms.

Rather, Gates' other project, the universal toilet project, is much more on the right track. What people need are private rooms they can go to take care of business. So couple those toilets with some walls and a locking door and you've given these men a place to take out their sexual frustration alone. By allowing the men to have some level of sexual gratification, perhaps even enhancing the experience by showing porn on the inside of the door, their incentive to go out and rape women goes way down.
 
2013-03-22 02:08:39 PM
USB port?
 
2013-03-22 02:10:03 PM
So... a condom with a picture of Jonathan Frakes printed along its length?

For Her Pleasure, indeed.
 
2013-03-22 02:10:29 PM
something similar to an animatronic sock puppet.  But you don't know what song it sings until you put it on.

The Sun'll come out!
mm mm mmmmhhh (muffled hummung noise from inside vagina)
Bet your bottom dollar that
mm mmh mmmmmm!!!
 
2013-03-22 02:10:44 PM
The stealth condom. She never sees you coming.
 
2013-03-22 02:10:50 PM

nekom: Not sure how you could really improve on that.


Well then, you're probably not going to win the $100,000.
 
2013-03-22 02:10:50 PM

ChrisDe: USB port?


They'll sell you the condom, but you've got to find your own port to plug it into.
 
2013-03-22 02:11:19 PM
delafont.com

A condom that plays Barry White when you open it.


/Patent pending
//Patent pendings on the following as well:
  Chocolate covered Halibut
  useable wireless electricity
  A DVR for dreams
  an automatic toilet seat that lowers when finished
 
2013-03-22 02:12:19 PM
Why not use the Windows model and sell packs of condoms in which every other condom breaks?
 
2013-03-22 02:12:51 PM
healthy.kaiserpermanente.org
 
2013-03-22 02:13:25 PM

TeDDD: So... a condom with a picture of Jonathan Frakes printed along its length?

For Her Pleasure, indeed.


The Johnathan Frakes condoms are only for anal
 
2013-03-22 02:13:30 PM

nekom: Not sure how you could really improve on that.  How about better distribution of the ones we already have?  You know, free to anyone who wants them, especialy in Africa but also here in the states.  It's an excellent investment, as are birth control pills.


Africa's problem isn't so much about availability of condoms. Africa's problem revolves around some pretty unique beliefs concerning sex.

For example: in some places they think having sex with a virgin cures AIDs.

In some places; condoms are magical shields that protect you from evil witchcraft. The problem is; they use the same condom until it fails.

/ we send them so much free food that they don't grow any for themselves; why would they? The price for corn or rice is so rediculously low that it's impossible to make a profit. They grow cash crops; like tobacco and cotton.
 
2013-03-22 02:13:40 PM
...some sort of symbiote...?
 
2013-03-22 02:13:43 PM

skullkrusher: nekom: Not sure how you could really improve on that.  How about better distribution of the ones we already have?  You know, free to anyone who wants them, especialy in Africa but also here in the states.  It's an excellent investment, as are birth control pills.

http://www.amazon.com/60-Durex-Condoms-Variety-Pack/dp/B000FCGDHW/re f= sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1363975486&sr=8-1&keywords=condoms

$.28 each. How much closer to free do you want?


It's a cheap investment. Better to give out free condoms and pills than pay for child welfare and STD treatments.  Also, mostly it's about education and removing any remaining stigma.
 
2013-03-22 02:13:47 PM
Automatically Tweets your followers as soon as you're done?

"Real Edward James Olmos just got laid!"
 
2013-03-22 02:13:54 PM
just give me one that fits properly to start with, then we can discuss the enhanced pleasure thing.  Pretty sure they are not supposed to cut blood flow off like they do.
 
2013-03-22 02:14:03 PM
www.reasonablyclever.com

My TOS condom works just fine, thanks.
 
2013-03-22 02:14:25 PM
How about a condom with a Clippy equivalent?

"It looks like you're about to blow your load too fast. Would you like hear some baseball statistics?"
"It looks like you can't find the clitoris. Would you like help with that?"
"It looks like you're headed for the wrong hole. Would you like help with that?"
 
2013-03-22 02:14:56 PM
Something involving lasers would be cool. You could have a light show as it targets sperm.
 
2013-03-22 02:15:09 PM
One that doesn't fall apart after 3 uses.

Waitwut?
 
2013-03-22 02:16:11 PM
You already invented the Xbox, Microsoft. It's working for us.
 
2013-03-22 02:16:28 PM

nekom: Not sure how you could really improve on that.  How about better distribution of the ones we already have?  You know, free to anyone who wants them, especialy in Africa but also here in the states.  It's an excellent investment, as are birth control pills.


They are widely available and often ignored for many reasons. First being, anyone who has had sex with a condom and without a condom knows the experience is totally different. If a person is not educated about the health advantages of using condoms, why would they decrease their pleasure?

Even when condoms are used, NGOs that give away condoms have discovered that inferior quality condoms are often purchased instead of the better quality free ones being used. Why would someone with limited money pay for flimsy condoms that often fail when high quality condoms are available for free? Because the free ones come in boxes and wrappers with family scenes or boring plain packaging. The low quality condoms come in packages with flames and graphic porn. One promises boredom and the other promises incredible pleasure.

The marketing part is easily fixed, though some NGOs will have a cultural aversion to handing out porn covered condoms. The difference in experience of condom versus condomless sex can be somewhat mitigated by better education of risk vs reward but the best solution would be to develop a condom that more accurately mimics condomless sex.
 
2013-03-22 02:17:05 PM

nocturnal001: skullkrusher: nekom: Not sure how you could really improve on that.  How about better distribution of the ones we already have?  You know, free to anyone who wants them, especialy in Africa but also here in the states.  It's an excellent investment, as are birth control pills.

http://www.amazon.com/60-Durex-Condoms-Variety-Pack/dp/B000FCGDHW/re f= sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1363975486&sr=8-1&keywords=condoms

$.28 each. How much closer to free do you want?

It's a cheap investment. Better to give out free condoms and pills than pay for child welfare and STD treatments.  Also, mostly it's about education and removing any remaining stigma.


certainly. $28 a pop is pretty farking close to free though.
 
2013-03-22 02:17:18 PM
No matter what gets invented it'll never be as good as barebacking it.  It's human nature to stuck our junk into a wet moist poon.  The best anyone will ever do is creating birth control pills for men, but that still won't stop the spread of infections.
 
2013-03-22 02:17:42 PM
Don't want to get her pregnant, just stick it in her butt
 
2013-03-22 02:17:47 PM

skullkrusher: nocturnal001: skullkrusher: nekom: Not sure how you could really improve on that.  How about better distribution of the ones we already have?  You know, free to anyone who wants them, especialy in Africa but also here in the states.  It's an excellent investment, as are birth control pills.

http://www.amazon.com/60-Durex-Condoms-Variety-Pack/dp/B000FCGDHW/re f= sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1363975486&sr=8-1&keywords=condoms

$.28 each. How much closer to free do you want?

It's a cheap investment. Better to give out free condoms and pills than pay for child welfare and STD treatments.  Also, mostly it's about education and removing any remaining stigma.

certainly. $28 a pop is pretty farking close to free though.


if anyone finds a decimal point I seem to have lost one.
 
2013-03-22 02:17:53 PM

Prank Call of Cthulhu: How about a condom with a Clippy equivalent?

"It looks like you're about to blow your load too fast. Would you like hear some baseball statistics?"
"It looks like you can't find the clitoris. Would you like help with that?"
"It looks like you're headed for the wrong hole. Would you like help with that?"


Well done, we could make those all day and still find funny ones.

"you are about to bone this chick you just met and your BAC is well over the legal limit, would you like me to text her pic to your friend who doesn't have beer goggles right now?"
 
2013-03-22 02:18:06 PM
Some kind of backup sensors to help your partner know she's getting close.
Beeeeeep......beeeepbeeeepbeeeep.....beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep
 
2013-03-22 02:18:14 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: Interestingly, I don't think the answer to solving the STD and unwanted pregnancy problem in Africa lies in condoms.

Rather, Gates' other project, the universal toilet project, is much more on the right track. What people need are private rooms they can go to take care of business. So couple those toilets with some walls and a locking door and you've given these men a place to take out their sexual frustration alone. By allowing the men to have some level of sexual gratification, perhaps even enhancing the experience by showing porn on the inside of the door, their incentive to go out and rape women goes way down.


Especially considering the overarching Muslim/Catholic culture there. They've had some success in Egypt against FGM by framing is in a practice related to the pharaohs (which apparently is a bad thing, I'm not very well versed in Egyptian culture), but I have a hard time seeing how a similar culture war would work with condoms. It's the rape issue that needs to be addressed. Have you read this article recently? http://www.cnn.com/2013/03/21/world/africa/seodi-white-women-malawi It's about how widows in Africa are being expected to have unprotected sex with males in order to "cleanse" them of their husbands and prevent the widows and their families from being haunted. How in the hell do you fight ghosts??

/not a first-world problem, so we need to think beyond first-world solutions
 
2013-03-22 02:18:39 PM
AIDS RAID, the spray on condom!
 
2013-03-22 02:19:38 PM
Upon entry, it mutes SportsCenter.
 
2013-03-22 02:20:13 PM

nekom: Not sure how you could really improve on that.  How about better distribution of the ones we already have?  You know, free to anyone who wants them, especialy in Africa but also here in the states.  It's an excellent investment, as are birth control pills.


I can think of a few ways- what if you could manufacture a condom that could be dispensed off of a roll, requiring no external packaging or lubrication? It'd be like tearing off a square of toilet paper, and all you'd have to do would be push your dong into the center of the square, and the material would cling automatically, and you'd never have to worry about it "rolling out". I have no idea how to make this wonder material, but I'd say there's still room for improvement in condom manufacture. Just spitballin' here.
 
2013-03-22 02:20:15 PM
How bout a condom merged with a Swiss army knife that has dildos and chocolate chip cookies attached to it?
 
2013-03-22 02:20:29 PM
How about modeling it after Bill Gates' education?

It gets in real early but drops out long before completion
 
2013-03-22 02:20:36 PM
Underwear with a built in condom/sperm catcher
 
Displayed 50 of 203 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report