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(Slate)   Your dog wants...lube   (slate.com) divider line 45
    More: Sick, Emily Yoffe, building superintendent, landlords, dogs  
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2013-03-22 11:51:56 AM  
Posted Thursday, Feb. 21, 2013, at 6:15 AM

oldnewsissoexciting.jpg
 
2013-03-22 11:52:19 AM  
Dear Prudence,

I own a daycare center and....
 
2013-03-22 11:53:22 AM  
That dog gets more action than I do.

/repeat
 
2013-03-22 11:53:48 AM  
Whether you should report the landlord depends on the breed of dog. A small toy-sized canine cannot consent and cannot enjoy sex with a human due to the difference in genital size. However, a larger dog such as a labrador or rottweiler is the perfect size for sexual relations with humans.

Report someone who is raping a poodle. But rein in your disgust if he's just getting his rocks off with a retriever.
 
2013-03-22 11:55:48 AM  
It's like Rule 34 has been applied to the advice column.
 
2013-03-22 11:56:14 AM  
Was the dog dead?  Was he farking it in front of a children's daycare center?

If not, then what's the harm?  I mean really, who among us hasn't been tempted at least once?
 
2013-03-22 11:56:18 AM  
i26.photobucket.com
from Mcdonalds?
 
2013-03-22 11:56:55 AM  
Request denied. Bite the chew toy, I'm going in dry.
 
2013-03-22 11:57:01 AM  
At least it wasn't a chicken
 
2013-03-22 11:57:09 AM  
But the dog said that she liked it ruff...
 
2013-03-22 11:57:25 AM  
Puppy Love.
 
2013-03-22 11:58:10 AM  
Goddamnit, stop linking to this live-action troll disguised as an advice column.
 
2013-03-22 11:58:26 AM  
It's apparent Fark's bestiality disgust bar has been set pretty high by the guy who farked his ex's dead dog in front of a daycare.
 
2013-03-22 11:59:18 AM  
So he was in his lab? Screwed the pooch? What euphemism/entendre is appropriate here?
 
2013-03-22 11:59:43 AM  
He must like it ruff.
 
2013-03-22 12:00:14 PM  
The biatch was asking for it.
 
2013-03-22 12:00:15 PM  
Is it abuse if it is a male dog doing a human female on all fours? You know....doing it doggy-style?
 
2013-03-22 12:00:30 PM  
Can my dog at least have a steak afterwards?  or should I buy it dinner first before I fark it?
 
2013-03-22 12:02:04 PM  

Grapple: Can my dog at least have a steak afterwards?  or should I buy it dinner first before I fark it?


Just take it here.

media.dream-burger.com
 
2013-03-22 12:02:16 PM  
well, i think the level of outrage depends entirely on the quality of the apartment.
 
2013-03-22 12:03:40 PM  
1. Next time, bring a camera
2. ?
3. Profit (via sweeeet rent re-negotiation)
 
2013-03-22 12:06:05 PM  
We're all assuming that the landlord is a dude and that the landlord was on top; dangerous assumptions to make.
 
2013-03-22 12:09:53 PM  
www.mundodocachorro.com.br
 
2013-03-22 12:11:22 PM  
When are we just going to cut to the chase and start linking to Penthouse Forum?
 
2013-03-22 12:14:28 PM  
I'll just put this right here.

http://www.asstr.org/nifty/bestiality/

No thanks needed.  ;)
 
2013-03-22 12:15:34 PM  

Cagey B: When are we just going to cut to the chase and start linking to Penthouse Forum?


Dear Penthouse,

I've never written a letter like this before, but you'll never believe what just happened.  I've always noticed that my neighbor's dog tends to look at me in a certain way, but I never thought anything would come of it.  But one day, when we were both alone in my back yard...
 
2013-03-22 12:16:42 PM  
FTA: "Dear Grossed,
Yes, your landlord just screwed the pooch..."


i.qkme.me
 
2013-03-22 12:19:29 PM  
Hi guys! What's going on? Anyone need my fist anywhere?
 
2013-03-22 12:30:31 PM  
Great statement of modern social behavior. They both knew he was having sex with a dog
the both walked past
and even said good morning.
THEN... even though they knew it was wrong
they wrote a letter to someone else asking what to do.

We need a culling so farking bad

that being said,
dogs can never say the safe word, so it's a win/win for me!
 
2013-03-22 12:31:02 PM  

HMS_Blinkin: Posted Thursday, Feb. 21, 2013, at 6:15 AM

oldnewsissoexciting.jpg


It was even greenlit at the time.
 
2013-03-22 12:32:01 PM  
Never has the image been more fitting:

www.city-data.com
 
2013-03-22 12:32:52 PM  

Carn: At least it wasn't a chicken


That's over on the politics tab
 
2013-03-22 12:39:36 PM  
Wait, I dnrtfa. Is this in one of those states where you have to be married first?
 
2013-03-22 12:40:19 PM  

Carn: At least it wasn't a chicken


Or a duck running.
 
2013-03-22 12:45:53 PM  

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Dear Prudence,

I own a daycare center and....


Let me guess, it involves drugs, movie, kids and the FBI.   A coincidence?
 
2013-03-22 12:46:31 PM  
Everyone knows the best lube is bacon grease
 
2013-03-22 12:56:12 PM  

davidphogan: HMS_Blinkin: Posted Thursday, Feb. 21, 2013, at 6:15 AM

oldnewsissoexciting.jpg

It was even greenlit at the time.


Yeah, WOW, an entire month old.

It's a totally different America now, from what it was back then. Even though it's difficult for us to understand what life was like back in those ancient days last month, there still must be lessons for us to learn from that bygone era from our distant past. Perhaps some day we'll be able to unearth enough information from that age to know what life muct have been like for them. However, since four long weeks have passed, most records from that time period have surely crumbled to dust by now with the inevitable march of time so there will be some mysteries from how those ancestors of ours lived last month that we will never be able to uncover.
 
2013-03-22 01:00:00 PM  
So was this gay or straight m4d sex?
 
2013-03-22 01:00:14 PM  

Carn: At least it wasn't a chicken



Coming up next on Fox at 5...
www.mediabistro.com
 
2013-03-22 01:01:19 PM  
Repeat Fridays!
 
2013-03-22 01:06:38 PM  
See this is why when I'm in my lab the doors are locked the blinds close and the curtain is pulled. It's call precautions. I'm aware other people live on this planet and glass is transparent.
 
2013-03-22 02:00:02 PM  

THX 1138: Was the dog dead?  Was he farking it in front of a children's daycare center?

If not, then what's the harm?  I mean really, who among us hasn't been tempted at least once?


That's a valid question, but let me break it down into two parts:

1) Is it legitimate for society to say "That's wrong and disgusting and we won't tolerate it" even if we CAN'T prove that it's causing harm?
2) Is animal welfare a sufficient argument?  If I establish that it harms the DOG, is that not enough?
 
2013-03-22 10:33:37 PM  

mongbiohazard: davidphogan: HMS_Blinkin: Posted Thursday, Feb. 21, 2013, at 6:15 AM

oldnewsissoexciting.jpg

It was even greenlit at the time.

Yeah, WOW, an entire month old.

It's a totally different America now, from what it was back then. Even though it's difficult for us to understand what life was like back in those ancient days last month, there still must be lessons for us to learn from that bygone era from our distant past. Perhaps some day we'll be able to unearth enough information from that age to know what life muct have been like for them. However, since four long weeks have passed, most records from that time period have surely crumbled to dust by now with the inevitable march of time so there will be some mysteries from how those ancestors of ours lived last month that we will never be able to uncover.


Sorry you lost the greenlight.
 
2013-03-23 12:00:26 AM  
Strange that the advice columnist suggests bestiality is the same as not having any sexual boundaries whatsoever.  Just because the guy's into his animal doesn't mean he's into your kids or your animal...  that said, get a room, you sick fark!
 
2013-03-23 12:02:17 AM  

ciberido: THX 1138: Was the dog dead?  Was he farking it in front of a children's daycare center?

If not, then what's the harm?  I mean really, who among us hasn't been tempted at least once?

That's a valid question, but let me break it down into two parts:

1) Is it legitimate for society to say "That's wrong and disgusting and we won't tolerate it" even if we CAN'T prove that it's causing harm?
2) Is animal welfare a sufficient argument?  If I establish that it harms the DOG, is that not enough?


Generally, animals bite if you're harming it.
 
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