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(Some Guy)   The most rage-inducing advice column you'll read this week   (news.efinancialcareers.com) divider line 227
    More: Asinine, advice column, bankers, rage, school systems  
•       •       •

27550 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Mar 2013 at 3:02 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



227 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-03-22 01:21:23 PM  
Just reading the html link made me want to punch someone. I think I'll save this article for Monday.
 
2013-03-22 01:24:15 PM  
Stop paying for hookers and just have the maid do it.
 
2013-03-22 01:29:36 PM  
Missing a couple important tips:

Allow the lower classes to have access to cheap guns and ammunition - that way they'll all kill each other and you'll receive handsome returns from your gun manufacturing stock picks...
 
2013-03-22 01:32:33 PM  

Lando Lincoln: Just reading the html link made me want to punch someone. I think I'll save this article for Monday.


Good instinct. I got about halfway through, and then had to chew up some aspirin and hydrochlorothiazide just to keep from seizing up like an '84 Cavalier with bad seals.
 
2013-03-22 01:37:25 PM  
Stop starting wars your families and friends can profit from.
 
2013-03-22 02:00:41 PM  
A couple of tips they missed in that list:

-Make sure the head butler is suitably armed with a heavy nightstick, in case of violent reprisals from the kitchen staff after inevitable downsizing.  This will also help to deter any riff-raff who might crawl around the servant's entrance, begging for handouts.

-Remember that a Bentley can last more than one year!  If times are tight, you may wish to skip a year on replacing your car with this year's model.

-Reduce the heating costs in your mansion by adding more insulation.  Homeless people can be harvested from the street outside of your bank and strapped to the roof to drive bills down.

-Reduce, reuse, recycle!  Don't just fire your employees to save on payroll, reuse them as human shields to block the army of torch and pitchfork wielding ingrates when they lay siege!
 
2013-03-22 02:08:35 PM  
this has to be satire.
 
2013-03-22 02:09:18 PM  
The only thing I find infuriating is that people can become so rich that they forget that you don't have to spend $30K/year to send your kid to boarding school or fly around the world every year or have a second  house.  LIke, that these things wouldn't still be obvious as high-dollar luxuries.

It makes me feel angry only because I assume that they're smarter than I am, and thus they're far more successful.
 
2013-03-22 02:51:52 PM  
21) Monocles made of glass may be procured by one's servants; the difference in clarity from those made of diamond is minimal.

22) Wads of cash in your pockets are easily pilfered by filthy urchins.  Instead, fill your top hat with 50 pound notes before having one's servants place it atop your head.

23) Remember, all bankers have wives.  Heterosexual women never enter banking, because who would they stick with their ironing?
 
2013-03-22 02:59:41 PM  
Even just reading the first line of each of the suggestions without the details was enough to tell me this was meant to be from millionaires to other millionaires. The question is if this was meant to be an internal joke that got leaked, or if they really think this will be helpful to the average person,
 
2013-03-22 03:05:14 PM  

Lando Lincoln: Just reading the html link made me want to punch someone. I think I'll save this article for Monday.


"Rage inducing?  How bad could this possible be? *mouseover link* Urge to kill...rising."
 
2013-03-22 03:06:38 PM  

FlashHarry: this has to be satire.

 
2013-03-22 03:06:42 PM  
s7.postimg.org
 
m00
2013-03-22 03:07:30 PM  
omfg...


Another banker, who used to work at Goldman Sachs and now runs his own business, said he gets his wife to iron his shirts nowadays. "At Goldman there was a service in the basement where I dropped my shirts off for a fee, but now I ask Jane to do it for me," he said.

"The wife is doing the ironing," another banker told us. "She's not loving it, but she doesn't want to get a job herself so is having to accept it.
 ...
The more money you have in your pocket, the more you will want to spend it. "Stop carrying a wedge of cash around with you," said the ex-Goldman banker. "It reduces the temptation to tip people so much."
 
2013-03-22 03:07:31 PM  
That is some mighty fine trolling.
 
2013-03-22 03:07:49 PM  

FlashHarry: this has to be satire.


If that'll make you sleep better tonight, you go on ahead and run with that.
 
2013-03-22 03:07:58 PM  

MaxxLarge: Lando Lincoln: Just reading the html link made me want to punch someone. I think I'll save this article for Monday.

Good instinct. I got about halfway through, and then had to chew up some aspirin and hydrochlorothiazide just to keep from seizing up like an '84 Cavalier with bad seals.


Closed the tab at #10.  Gawd I hate rich people.  The clueless spoiled undergrad in my lab is bad enough.
 
2013-03-22 03:08:30 PM  
Well... I won't say subby is wrong, per se, but I will say that this was the only advice column I read this week.
 
2013-03-22 03:08:39 PM  
#4 is actually a good idea for everyone.

Other than that...

www.ladyofthecake.com
 
2013-03-22 03:09:04 PM  
That was very useful. I was wondering what I should do this afternoon. Now that I feel all stabby, I think I'll spend today being famous for 15 minutes.
 
2013-03-22 03:09:28 PM  
just remember, if you do go on a rage-fueled murderous rampage, do it in a prius.
 
2013-03-22 03:10:22 PM  
I absolutely loved this.  Made me laugh harder than I have in a while.
<p>Best advice on their list:
<p>Ensure both adults are working
<p>Clearly, the writer is hoping someone is saying to themselves, "Damn, I knew I forgot something - I forget to get a job!"
 
2013-03-22 03:10:42 PM  
Wow, my Kaspersky anti-virus went nuts when I tried to open that page. WTF?
 
2013-03-22 03:11:03 PM  
Ahhhh yes. The jealousy rage strikes FARK.com again.

/you'll get over it
 
2013-03-22 03:11:07 PM  
My Kaspersky did not like that page...sumthin', sumthin', phishing...access denied...close tab...oookay
 
2013-03-22 03:11:13 PM  
I think a certain advice columnist deserves an old-fashioned fisting by Tom Wopat.

Besides, such fistings are free and plentiful.
 
2013-03-22 03:11:33 PM  
Pay attention farkers. THIS is how you troll.
 
2013-03-22 03:11:49 PM  
17. Put your teenagers to workyeah... totally legit advice column...
 
2013-03-22 03:12:36 PM  
Gah! I work for a bank and that article made me feel all punchy (to avoid getting shunned more than I have to by the greater Fark community: NOT in a pay bracket where selling the second home is remotely relevant to my interests)
 
2013-03-22 03:12:41 PM  
21. If your wife ain't on the street, she ain't earning.
 
2013-03-22 03:12:42 PM  

BigLuca: FlashHarry: this has to be satire.

 
2013-03-22 03:12:45 PM  

FlashHarry: this has to be satire.


This reminds me of a West Wing episode; Toby helped Will write a speech for Bingo Bob.

If you happen to care; link

/Note:  Fark's link insertion functionality is broken at some level, or could use a design change
//how's that for being civil?
 
2013-03-22 03:13:56 PM  
I'm going to start bulding a guillotine. It's only a matter of time until we start needing them.
 
2013-03-22 03:14:21 PM  

Odd Bird: ...West Wing...


Correction; speech was written for Bartlett to use when introducing Bob.
 
2013-03-22 03:14:26 PM  
21. Kill yourself.
 
2013-03-22 03:14:44 PM  

Sticky Hands: That is some mighty fine trolling.


Seriously...


www.businessinsider.com
 
2013-03-22 03:16:38 PM  
This was maybe 3% as rage inducing as the Oprah magazine one. You know, the "give scented candles to you mom" or some such.

Some of these here, like "ride your bicycle to work if you can" sorta make sense.
 
2013-03-22 03:17:32 PM  
FTFA: 12. Have all your medical problems sorted out before you lose your job.

I tried to think of something snarky in response, but it's so goddamed stupid that nothing could really add to it.
 
2013-03-22 03:18:27 PM  
21. Write arrogant musings about improving the finances of the insanely wealthy and post them on the Internet. Your trolling will lure in the jealous poor and your advertising profits will soar.
 
2013-03-22 03:19:17 PM  
1%er problems
 
2013-03-22 03:19:19 PM  
Is that an Onion article?
 
2013-03-22 03:20:33 PM  

Cadderpidder: FlashHarry: this has to be satire.

If that'll make you sleep better tonight, you go on ahead and run with that.


It's a pretty farking strange column.  I don't think "Sell your second house" and "drop cable to save a few bucks" are really aimed at the same people.
 
2013-03-22 03:21:10 PM  

bart2puck: just remember, if you do go on a rage-fueled murderous rampage, do it in a prius.

Goldman Sachs office

ftfy
 
2013-03-22 03:21:24 PM  
 In 2009, Marie Douglas Davis, a former investment banker and Swedish countess argued that she needed$4.5k a monthto spend on clothes during a divorce case.

This is quite literally the reason why we cant have nice things.
 
m00
2013-03-22 03:22:11 PM  
11. Sell the second homeAnecdotally, this isn't happening much yet - but it could start happening soon. "The second home in the country is where you rack up the most serious costs," said the hedge fund manager. "A lot of people I know are talking about ditching the country house. No one's done it yet though."

www.blogcdn.com
 
2013-03-22 03:22:41 PM  
No way this is real. All quotes from "one hedge manager".


11. Sell the second home"The second home in the country is where you rack up the most serious costs," said the hedge fund manager. "A lot of people I know are talking about ditching the country house. No one's done it yet though.
 
2013-03-22 03:23:17 PM  
This sounded like a Monty Python sketch.
 
2013-03-22 03:23:17 PM  
21) Invest in BMFPitt brand financial planning videos. Only $999.99.
 
2013-03-22 03:24:07 PM  
23. "Discarded pizza boxes are an inexpensive source of cheese."
 
2013-03-22 03:24:21 PM  
i5.minus.com
 
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