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(The Atlantic Wire)   Texas congressman tweets: "The best thing about the Earth is if you poke holes in it oil and gas come out." Trollarity ensues   (theatlanticwire.com) divider line 125
    More: Silly, congressman, Texas, fossil fuels, black holes, natural gas  
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4570 clicks; posted to Politics » on 21 Mar 2013 at 7:57 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-21 07:53:08 PM
I wanted to care. I may have even tried. But I failed.
 
2013-03-21 08:00:04 PM
You're doing it wrong.
 
2013-03-21 08:00:06 PM
Okay, oil is coming out.
 
2013-03-21 08:00:28 PM
Best thing about the earth? It's where I put all my stuff.

img96.imageshack.us
 
2013-03-21 08:02:00 PM
I have lost all faith in humanity.
 
2013-03-21 08:02:08 PM
Oh crap, you divided by zderop.

p.twimg.com
 
2013-03-21 08:04:01 PM
If its that easy why do we need oil rigs and geologists and drilling science and shiat?

Oh yeah.. cause it's not.

Farking retard.
 
2013-03-21 08:06:35 PM
Huh. Apparently, Stockman's even better than the Earth - oil and gas just naturally seep from that farktard.
 
2013-03-21 08:08:57 PM
Who was the retard that said that oil is a gift from God and by not drilling for it, we're hurting God's feelings?

Because this statement is just about as stupid as that one was.
 
2013-03-21 08:09:28 PM

LordOfThePings: Oh crap, you divided by zderop.

[p.twimg.com image 700x467]


holy shiat man. wat?
 
2013-03-21 08:10:03 PM
Isn't this the guy who was arrested for bouncing checks and spent time in a mental institution before a career in Republican politics?
 
2013-03-21 08:10:40 PM
I see trees of green,
red roses too.
I see them bloom,
for me and you.
And I think to myself,
what a wonderful world.

Hmm, nothing about petrochemicals there at all.
 
2013-03-21 08:11:24 PM
So things like breathable air, trees, animals, oceans are not as good as drilling oil? or so Republicans seem to think.
 
2013-03-21 08:11:56 PM
The spirit of Earth Day isn't that people stand around and clap at the planet, of course

I can remember being at the beach with my GF back in the 80s on Earth Day. We were high on E and we set off fireworks on the beach. It was only later that I realized we had celebrated Earth Day by firing bits of flaming paper and cardboard into the ocean.

/csb
 
2013-03-21 08:12:17 PM
OK so... obtaining energy via modern wind turbines = bronze-age, but somehow energy through fuel combustion != stone age...?
 
2013-03-21 08:13:24 PM
Natural gas and oil give us cheap, clean energy and life-saving plastics, petrochemicals.

He seriously thinks oil is "clean energy"? He must be on Texas's science committee.
 
2013-03-21 08:13:29 PM

Corvus: So things like breathable air, trees, animals, oceans are not as good as drilling oil? or so Republicans seem to think.


nonsense, by polluting our air they are paving the way for air sales companies to monopolize what we breathe. they love the lumber industry, they love the steak industry, and, well, im sure theres some way to make money off oceans. nothing coming to me at the moment, but a republican and his lobbyist will figure it out.
 
2013-03-21 08:13:40 PM
There is reportedly $1 trillion in oil off the coast of California. But liberal hatred of science and human progress keeps them bankrupt

media.comicvine.com
 
2013-03-21 08:14:14 PM
the best thing about earth

u can rape any kid u want there, as long as you are prepared to face the legal consequences1
 
2013-03-21 08:15:48 PM
He's telling California to destroy the thing most associated with the state in order to close budget gaps.

No one cares when Texas throws up thousands of derricks in the middle of flat prairies. People might get a bit miffed if you throw up a couple hundred derricks out to sea in front of world famous beaches in the middle of an Earthquake zone.
 
2013-03-21 08:16:28 PM

fusillade762: There is reportedly $1 trillion in oil off the coast of California. But liberal hatred of science and human progress keeps them bankrupt

[media.comicvine.com image 479x356]


Now I wonder why Californians are reluctant to have oil companies drill off of their coast?

www.marinebio.net

media.independent.com

madmikesamerica.com
 
2013-03-21 08:17:08 PM
Funny thing about liberals hating oil and gas - they're expressing it on computers made from petrochemicals. Why do liberals hate science?
- Rep. Steve Stockman (@SteveStockmanTX) March 21, 2013


www.reactiongifs.com
 
2013-03-21 08:17:49 PM
Tyrone Slothrop

I see petrochemicals of green,
red algae too,
I see them bloom,
to kill me and you.
And I think to myself,
What a profitable world!

/updated non-bronze age version
 
2013-03-21 08:18:02 PM

dookdookdook: Isn't this the guy who was arrested for bouncing checks and spent time in a mental institution before a career in Republican politics?


Oh shi-, I didn't give him nearly enough credit:

http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2013/01/steve-stockman-nuttiest- fr eshman-congress-again

...caught with 30 mg of valium hidden in a cellophane wrapper in his underwear. He's defended militia groups; accused an attorney general of "premeditated murder"; appeared on a Holocaust-denying radio program; waged a one-man war against Alfred Kinsey; compared his constituents-favorably-to Branch Davidians; and traveled to Denmark to protest climate change while wearing a red blindfold.

Stockman's first congressional victory, a 1994 upset of 42-year incumbent Jack Brooks, may have been the closest his state ever came to electing a gun. In the preceding years, Stockman had experienced a personal purgatory-the aforementioned Wisconsin drug bust, which he blamed on his girlfriend; a brief period as a "studerino" (his words) surrounded by "hot-looking babes"; myriad bounced checks; a falling out with his brother; and a year living in a Forth Worth park with another homeless man he compared to Lennie from Of Mice and Man.

Stockman had touted himself a graduate of the University of Houston before he had graduated, and he had claimed to have worked as a consultant for the university for five years, though the school said it had no record of such a gig.

Stockman told the Galveston Daily News that he did have an interest in ceramics-"but don't say that or they'll think I'm a f...g for sure."

Stockman rejected the ADL's assertion that the Holocaust-denying radio show was anti-Semitic. "They said that because they talk against 'international bankers' that means they're against Jewish folks," he told Jewish Week. "I don't agree...The largest banks today are not American. I know that most of them are Japanese now."

...after watching a Family Research Council movie called  Children of Table 34, about sex researcher Alfred Kinsey, he wrote a letter to his colleagues calling for a moratorium on sexual education: "Our children have been taught that...any type of sex is a valid outlet for their emotions. They are taught that the problem with sex is not that it is wrong to engage in homosexual, bestial, underage, or premarital sex, but that it is wrong to do so without protection."
 
2013-03-21 08:18:57 PM
There's quite a bit  of oil in the human body as well, but for God sake, don't tell the GOP.
 
2013-03-21 08:21:12 PM
[Insert joke about piercing Christ's side and blood and water coming out here]
 
2013-03-21 08:21:25 PM

dookdookdook: Isn't this the guy who was arrested for bouncing checks and spent time in a mental institution before a career in Republican politics?


so what your saying is, he used to be a democrat?
 
2013-03-21 08:21:38 PM
His responses are amazingly unimaginative:  "blah blah blah....why do liberals hate science?"  It is like being transported back to the Bush years and hearing "....why do liberals oppose spreading freedom/hate America?" or whatever.

So lacking in creativity.
 
2013-03-21 08:21:58 PM

andrewagill: [Insert joke about piercing Christ's side and blood and water sweet crude coming out here]

 
2013-03-21 08:31:20 PM

dookdookdook: dookdookdook: Isn't this the guy who was arrested for bouncing checks and spent time in a mental institution before a career in Republican politics?

Oh shi-, I didn't give him nearly enough credit:

http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2013/01/steve-stockman-nuttiest- fr eshman-congress-again


From that link:

Asked by the Dallas Morning News whom he could work with in Congress, Stockman singled out the one Texas Republican congressman who may just rival Stockman in the bomb-throwing department: "The Louie Gohmerts-I want to be a team player with them."

I'm not asking for a fruit comparison.

/INAFAFC
 
2013-03-21 08:32:16 PM
Kinda funny. Alas I suspect his shortsightedness is the cause of the tweet rather than a surfeit of humor but I chuckled nonetheless
 
2013-03-21 08:32:51 PM

Doktor_Zhivago: If its that easy why do we need oil rigs and geologists and drilling science and shiat?

Oh yeah.. cause it's not.

Farking retard.


Wow
 
2013-03-21 08:33:00 PM
"The worst thing about republicans is that any time they open their pie hole, gas comes out."
 
2013-03-21 08:35:29 PM

Mrtraveler01: fusillade762: There is reportedly $1 trillion in oil off the coast of California. But liberal hatred of science and human progress keeps them bankrupt

[media.comicvine.com image 479x356]

Now I wonder why Californians are reluctant to have oil companies drill off of their coast?

[www.marinebio.net image 335x227]

[media.independent.com image 479x318]

[madmikesamerica.com image 500x286]


I still get tar on my feet when walking down the beach in Santa Barbara
 
2013-03-21 08:45:28 PM

skullkrusher: Wow


I meant it's more than just 'poking holes'...
 
2013-03-21 08:45:42 PM
The best thing about the Earth is if you poke holes in it oil and gas come out.

Just like your mom, Representative.
 
2013-03-21 08:48:18 PM
Wow, I figured this would be Gohmert, but apparently Texas likes to out derp itself.
 
2013-03-21 08:55:43 PM

Uzzah: Funny thing about liberals hating oil and gas - they're expressing it on computers made from petrochemicals. Why do liberals hate science?
- Rep. Steve Stockman (@SteveStockmanTX) March 21, 2013

[www.reactiongifs.com image 281x158]


It's at times like these that I really wish that politicians (on both sides) had to wear a sci-fi ankle bracelet that gets heavier the more shiat they spew. Eventually, the ones who spew shiat like the NYC sewer system wouldn't be able to walk. Sadly, knowing how politicians on both sides like to believe that their butts are research institutions, I have a feeling that capital hill would be empty within a week.
 
2013-03-21 09:07:13 PM
The best thing about the Earth is if you poke holes in it oil and gas come out.

Is it remarkable?
 
2013-03-21 09:13:22 PM

EdNortonsTwin: There's quite a bit  of oil in the human body as well, but for God sake, don't tell the GOP.


Especially in mine (patting belly).
 
2013-03-21 09:15:41 PM
The best thing about a Republican congressman is if you poke his hole he'll give you sixty dollars.
 
2013-03-21 09:15:52 PM

Doktor_Zhivago: skullkrusher: Wow

I meant it's more than just 'poking holes'...


I think it was more of a Twitter Earth Day troll than a dissertation on oil and gas extraction
 
2013-03-21 09:17:12 PM
So, lemme get this straight:  A Texas congressman, who gets all of his science information from an 1,800-year-old book of fables, and lobbies for legislation made from an 1,800-year-old book of fables, is telling us that liberals are anti-science and stuck in the Bronze Age?

/Projectionism is an ugly thing.
 
2013-03-21 09:17:46 PM

skullkrusher: I think it was more of a Twitter Earth Day troll than a dissertation on oil and gas extraction


Well i didn't become a Doktor by not writing a dissertation...

/not actually a doctor
//please consult a real medical doctor if erection lasts for more than four hours
 
2013-03-21 09:20:41 PM

Doktor_Zhivago: skullkrusher: I think it was more of a Twitter Earth Day troll than a dissertation on oil and gas extraction

Well i didn't become a Doktor by not writing a dissertation...

/not actually a doctor
//please consult a real medical doctor if erection lasts for more than four hours


I didn't become a skullkrusher by not krushing skulls. Incidentally, I didn't become a skullkrusher by krushing any skulls either
 
2013-03-21 09:29:28 PM
What I find interesting is that "liberal" has quickly become a GOP catch-all term for "people who don't agree with me."
 
2013-03-21 09:30:57 PM
This would be news if a Texas congressman didn't tweet something stupid.
 
2013-03-21 09:31:14 PM

skullkrusher: Kinda funny. Alas I suspect his shortsightedness is the cause of the tweet rather than a surfeit of humor but I chuckled nonetheless


"Surfeit"? Wow, that word-of-the-day calendar is really working out for you! ;)
 
2013-03-21 09:33:57 PM
its un 'Murica to get your energy unless somethin done been drilled and/or fraked.

Drilled long and hard. And a good frakin never hurt anyone.
 
2013-03-21 09:35:33 PM
Liberals hate science?

login.wordpressors.com

/Also made of petrochemicals.
 
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