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(Metronews.ca)   Voice coach says that using a sex toy gives singers an extra octave. Possibly two, depending on where they use it   (metronews.ca) divider line 90
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12734 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Mar 2013 at 3:19 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-21 01:45:00 PM  
Picture of it being used on something called a Bieber....
static.wetpaint.me
 
2013-03-21 01:49:46 PM  
www.spackler.ca
 
2013-03-21 01:58:02 PM  
Just think what kind of range the real thing would give you.

                                  ti do
                      so  la
           mi fa
do  re
 
2013-03-21 02:16:11 PM  
 
2013-03-21 02:43:47 PM  
Do re me fa...GAH!

That was a little too fa.
 
2013-03-21 02:44:41 PM  

Shostie: [www.spackler.ca image 850x478]


That is exactly what I thought of too.
 
2013-03-21 03:01:27 PM  
I've heard, from a friend, that a Hitachi Magic Wand can also be used not only to relieve neck tension but also help with a clogged-up nose.  The vibrating head would be placed on either side of the nose to help shake loose whatever's creating the blockage if blowing your nose doesn't help.

I'll tell you I sure gave that friend a strange look when she brought this up at dinner.
 
2013-03-21 03:28:45 PM  
I find that I do best at karaoke when I'm in the moment and nothing keeps you in the moment like a nice
 
2013-03-21 03:30:29 PM  
i'm totally disappointed it wasn't a butt plug. Just sayin'.
 
2013-03-21 03:31:21 PM  
Is it one like pictured or is it one like the Anal intruder 2000?
 
2013-03-21 03:31:31 PM  
www.stratfordfestival.ca

pic of the actress who swears by it.  AKA the most sought after bachelorette in Stratford
 
2013-03-21 03:32:01 PM  
and his name is 'ley'?
 
2013-03-21 03:32:54 PM  
I have a similar tool...er...um...therapeutic device that ejacu...er....um...dispenses it's own soothing cream for your larynges.
 
2013-03-21 03:34:17 PM  
"OOoooooooh sweet mystery of life at last I've found youuuuuuuuuuuu"
 
2013-03-21 03:36:09 PM  

thecpt: [www.stratfordfestival.ca image 238x250]

pic of the actress who swears by it.  AKA the most sought after bachelorette in Stratford


She's quite attractive, but you caught the part where they're using that to relax the larnyx, didn't you?

I don't think they're using them...uh...as advertised.
 
2013-03-21 03:36:34 PM  
www.michaelarnoldart.com

"Curses!  My secret is revealed!"
 
2013-03-21 03:37:18 PM  
GIVE IT TO ME...UNHHHH!!! UNHHHH!!! UNHHHH!!! UNHHHH!!!
picasion.com
 
2013-03-21 03:40:08 PM  
Sing for me
multimedia.fnac.es
 
2013-03-21 03:40:12 PM  

theMightyRegeya: She's quite attractive, but you caught the part where they're using that to relax the larnyx, didn't you?

I don't think they're using them...uh...as advertised.


fta: "I was in the middle of the store testing it on the throat of a friend,"

I can pretend it was from the inside.
 
2013-03-21 03:40:22 PM  
Who's your sex toy?!
Say my name!
say it higher!

HIGHER!

Well done.  In our next lesson, we'll be using nipple clamps and a bondage bar to achieve multiple, er...high notes
 
2013-03-21 03:41:43 PM  
So inserting objects into ones mouth to stretch the throat helps range.... Guess that explains Freddie Mercury's amazing range
 
2013-03-21 03:43:40 PM  
FTA: It relaxes tension in the larynx

cdn.motinetwork.net
 
2013-03-21 03:44:01 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com

Singer with toy
 
2013-03-21 03:45:16 PM  
Came for Fletch, leaving happy
 
2013-03-21 03:46:50 PM  
My music history professor was quite convinced that perfect authentic cadence was identical to the feeling of an orgasm. Dissonance and resolution.
 
2013-03-21 03:52:05 PM  
no WONDER freddie mercury had such great range!
 
2013-03-21 03:52:44 PM  
They're also good for loosening earwax.

Just ask Bill Cosby!
 
2013-03-21 03:53:37 PM  

Chabash: My music history professor was quite convinced that perfect authentic cadence was identical to the feeling of an orgasm. Dissonance and resolution.


This makes sense.
 
2013-03-21 03:55:06 PM  
Applied internally or externally?
 
2013-03-21 04:00:13 PM  

Shostie: [www.spackler.ca image 850x478]



Mooooooon RIIII-ver.

You have to use your whole fist, doc?
 
2013-03-21 04:01:23 PM  
Yeah, but a properly placed pickle will allow one to achieve FARK immortality.
 
2013-03-21 04:01:58 PM  
On a more serious, fun-wrecking note:

Don't do this with powerful vibrators around your throat. Vibrating your thyroid glands is a bad idea. The last thing you want is a rush of body chemistry-altering hormones farking with your blood pressure and temperature regulation.
 
2013-03-21 04:03:43 PM  
Yeah, but will it take strokes off your game?
pointlessbanter.net
 
2013-03-21 04:04:57 PM  
Well sure, the Telefunken U-47 Rotoplooker was designed for just that.
 
2013-03-21 04:11:35 PM  

AngryJailhouseFistfark: Well sure, the Telefunken U-47 Rotoplooker was designed for just that.


It looks like a magische schwein!
 
2013-03-21 04:12:33 PM  

Shostie:


Done in two.
 
2013-03-21 04:18:26 PM  
FTFA: Last fall she was in an Edmonton production of Next to Normal, a rock-and-roll musical, and was hard on her voice. Huh, huh uh huh huh uh huh, he said "hard on", huh huh...
 
2013-03-21 04:21:27 PM  

Nana's Vibrator: AngryJailhouseFistfark: Well sure, the Telefunken U-47 Rotoplooker was designed for just that.

It looks like a magische schwein!


Aber beklecker nicht das sofa.

24.media.tumblr.com
/d'oh, a deer
 
2013-03-21 04:22:09 PM  
To be honest, thinking about this article while listening to Christine's part in the Phantom of the Opera (ascending arias juxtaposed with Phantom's "sing for me" lines) makes one burst into uncontrollable laughter.
 
2013-03-21 04:23:42 PM  
www.blogcdn.com
 
2013-03-21 04:26:05 PM  
My friend tried this technique, knocked half her teeth out.....
 
2013-03-21 04:30:50 PM  

Chabash: My music history professor was quite convinced that perfect authentic cadence was identical to the feeling of an orgasm. Dissonance and resolution.


I read a paper by a musicologist once that compared Beethoven, and essentially the sonata-allegro form and standard harmonic practices to misogyny and sexual assault.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Susan_McClary
 
2013-03-21 04:41:00 PM  
I hope I'm wrong - but all I can think is that the guy has a fetish and is using his position of authority to make it happen.

'Hey, you have a great voice, but you know what really helps?  This sex toy!  No, no, no, I don't mean anything INAPPROPRIATE, here let me show you how it works.  Okay?  I'll just turn it on for you and I'll show you how to use it.  Just press it up against your throat like this - okay?  Yeah - that's it.  Now move it around a bit, yeah - just like that.  Relax,   Let it loosen up everything.  There.  Now, try singing that line again.  OH WOW - did you hear that?  Much better!  This technique really works!'

Then he inserts the mental image of what else his students will be using with the knowledge he's given them.

It has all the signs of b.s....

No actual evidence that it works.  Just people who 'swear by it'
Specific information to make it sound scientific...but no justification.  He says he tested lots of devices and settled on ones that operate with a frequency of 100-120 because it is 'pretty close' to the range of the human voice.  WHAT?!  Seriously?
 
2013-03-21 04:42:51 PM  
He told her to sing... from her DIAPHRAGM!!!
 
2013-03-21 04:44:50 PM  

Shostie: I read a paper by a musicologist once that compared Beethoven, and essentially the sonata-allegro form and standard harmonic practices to misogyny and sexual assault.


Absolutely amazing.  The Onion couldn't have written something better.
 
2013-03-21 04:45:05 PM  
grizzlybomb.com
 
2013-03-21 04:51:28 PM  
And I will always love you.
 
2013-03-21 04:51:39 PM  

Shostie: I read a paper by a musicologist complete farking nutcase once that compared Beethoven, and essentially the sonata-allegro form and standard harmonic practices to misogyny and sexual assault.


FTFY
 
2013-03-21 04:59:05 PM  
Janice Joplin must have used a chain saw.
 
2013-03-21 05:00:55 PM  
This certainly explains Beyoce's high screechy voice that sounds like a monkey getting an enema.
 
2013-03-21 05:01:13 PM  
Auto-Tune erotica.
 
2013-03-21 05:14:13 PM  

MBooda: Nana's Vibrator: AngryJailhouseFistfark: Well sure, the Telefunken U-47 Rotoplooker was designed for just that.

It looks like a magische schwein!

Aber beklecker nicht das sofa.

[24.media.tumblr.com image 400x317]
/d'oh, a deer


+1 Would laugh again!! Great Job!!
 
2013-03-21 05:18:40 PM  
It works just fine. You just have to be careful not to chip your teeth.
 
2013-03-21 05:19:12 PM  
Probably get more than that depending on the sex toy....
static.giantbomb.com
 
2013-03-21 05:34:21 PM  

CruiserTwelve: Possibly NSFW but hilarious


Ah, the infamous vulvazela gag.
 
2013-03-21 05:44:45 PM  
i.imgur.com

Preparing for a speech.
 
2013-03-21 05:44:46 PM  

CruiserTwelve: Possibly NSFW but hilarious


Oh man!! LMAO!!!!  That's the BEST and funniest clip I've seen in a long time!!  Thanks!!!
 
2013-03-21 05:48:20 PM  

Walker: Picture of it being used on something called a Bieber....
[static.wetpaint.me image 600x450]


Hideous awful thing
 
2013-03-21 05:50:09 PM  
I read "voice cooch" on my first look. Freudian slip?
 
2013-03-21 06:17:25 PM  

Why Would I Read the Article: Shostie: I read a paper by a musicologist complete farking nutcase once that compared Beethoven, and essentially the sonata-allegro form and standard harmonic practices to misogyny and sexual assault.

FTFY


Anything to get a PhD.
 
2013-03-21 06:17:32 PM  

Shostie: Chabash: My music history professor was quite convinced that perfect authentic cadence was identical to the feeling of an orgasm. Dissonance and resolution.

I read a paper by a musicologist once that compared Beethoven, and essentially the sonata-allegro form and standard harmonic practices to misogyny and sexual assault.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Susan_McClary


What a lunatic. No wonder people laugh at feminists.
 
2013-03-21 06:21:15 PM  
Many years ago I had a room mate whose girl friend was instructed to perform oral on him by her voice instructor because it would help her voice. To state the obvious, my friend was very, very happy.
 
2013-03-21 06:23:53 PM  

exvaxman: Many years ago I had a room mate whose girl friend was instructed to perform oral on him by her voice instructor because it would help her voice. To state the obvious, my friend was very, very happy.


Someone is getting a fruit basket.
 
2013-03-21 06:29:54 PM  
i1.kym-cdn.com
 
2013-03-21 06:35:51 PM  
Gives a whole new meaning to the term "vibrato".
 
2013-03-21 06:36:26 PM  

ko_kyi: exvaxman: Many years ago I had a room mate whose girl friend was instructed to perform oral on him by her voice instructor because it would help her voice. To state the obvious, my friend was very, very happy.

Someone is getting a fruit basket.


Yeah. The girlfriend!
 
2013-03-21 06:41:58 PM  
I would think it would help with vibrato.
 
2013-03-21 06:49:50 PM  

Old_Chief_Scott: "OOoooooooh sweet mystery of life at last I've found youuuuuuuuuuuu"


Here for this.

www.the-filmreel.com
 
2013-03-21 07:10:55 PM  
www.pickuppodcast.com

Happy to help.
 
2013-03-21 07:13:49 PM  
i369.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-21 07:34:53 PM  
i find LSA (morning glory / hawiaan baby wood rose seeds) works just as good as the old "dildo in the mouth"
but do whatever makes you feel good.  i guess
 
2013-03-21 07:35:46 PM  

MythDragon: Probably get more than that depending on the sex toy....
[static.giantbomb.com image 397x330]


Not to threadjack, but has anybody ever test drove FISTO?  Neither my husband nor myself could bring ourselves to do it >.>
 
2013-03-21 07:52:40 PM  

razyjean: MythDragon: Probably get more than that depending on the sex toy....
[static.giantbomb.com image 397x330]

Not to threadjack, but has anybody ever test drove FISTO?  Neither my husband nor myself could bring ourselves to do it >.>


The fist weapon? It kicks ass.

Oh... you mean the robot. No. Eww.

On a side note, if you make a fist weapons character in New Vegas, take a short walk to get "Pushy" ASAP, you can breeze through the game like you've enabled God Mode. Walk into Caesar's Compound and punch his face out of the compound.
 
2013-03-21 07:54:52 PM  

razyjean: MythDragon: Probably get more than that depending on the sex toy....
[static.giantbomb.com image 397x330]

Not to threadjack, but has anybody ever test drove FISTO?  Neither my husband nor myself could bring ourselves to do it >.>


I never go hand to hand spec, usually guns and sneak with lots of points in lockpicking early on. It sits in my inventory doing nothing.
 
2013-03-21 07:57:57 PM  
Nellie Melba who was a renowned opera singer believed that a bj helped her voice.

/She was very popular
 
2013-03-21 08:07:19 PM  

razyjean: MythDragon: Probably get more than that depending on the sex toy....
[static.giantbomb.com image 397x330]

Not to threadjack, but has anybody ever test drove FISTO?  Neither my husband nor myself could bring ourselves to do it >.>


I figured my character would take Fisto for a spin. It's been some time, but I remember him saying something like "the numbness will subside in a few hours"
 
2013-03-21 08:14:47 PM  

thecpt: theMightyRegeya: She's quite attractive, but you caught the part where they're using that to relax the larnyx, didn't you?

I don't think they're using them...uh...as advertised.

fta: "I was in the middle of the store testing it on the throat of a friend,"

I can pretend it was from the inside.



Guys have telling me for years that massaging my throat from the inside would do wonders for my singing voice.
 
2013-03-21 08:21:53 PM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: CruiserTwelve: Possibly NSFW but hilarious

Ah, the infamous vulvazela gag.


That makes my vuvuzela hurt just thinking about it.
 
2013-03-21 08:25:28 PM  

razyjean: MythDragon: Probably get more than that depending on the sex toy....
[static.giantbomb.com image 397x330]

Not to threadjack, but has anybody ever test drove FISTO?  Neither my husband nor myself could bring ourselves to do it >.>


I did.  Got the dialog option "I can't feel my legs!" afterwards.
 
2013-03-21 09:10:41 PM  
I never noticed it before but...

blogs.houstonpress.com
 
2013-03-21 09:26:43 PM  
img535.imageshack.us= 2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-03-21 09:49:50 PM  

razyjean: MythDragon: Probably get more than that depending on the sex toy....
[static.giantbomb.com image 397x330]

Not to threadjack, but has anybody ever test drove FISTO?  Neither my husband nor myself could bring ourselves to do it >.>


Kreiger is not impressed...

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-03-21 10:40:03 PM  

Chabash: My music history professor was quite convinced that perfect authentic cadence was identical to the feeling of an orgasm. Dissonance and resolution.


That's the same reason he kept slapping your ass the rhythm of 'Another One Bites the Dust'.
 
2013-03-22 12:03:17 AM  

Treygreen13: On a side note, if you make a fist weapons character in New Vegas, take a short walk to get "Pushy" ASAP, you can breeze through the game like you've enabled God Mode. Walk into Caesar's Compound and punch his face out of the compound.


Huh.  I always just stuck dynamite down the Praetorian Guards pants, stole his ballistic fist, and then murdered my way through the camp.

/Spoiler Warning did it first and better.
 
2013-03-22 01:10:34 AM  

CanuckAmok: Kreiger is not impressed...


"I thought you told me to start slacking off?"
 
2013-03-22 01:26:46 AM  

poot_rootbeer: They're also good for loosening earwax.

Just ask Bill Cosby!


What a terrible promo for a really good movie.
 
2013-03-22 02:22:51 AM  
 
2013-03-22 09:34:58 AM  
One time, at band camp...
 
2013-03-22 09:49:54 AM  
Last fall she was in an Edmonton production of Next to Normal, a rock-and-roll musical, and was hard on her voice.

collider.com
 
2013-03-22 10:02:21 AM  

SwingingJohnson: Janice Joplin must have used a chain saw.


Nah, just a lot of booze.

/Alcohol is a dessicant, and very bad for singers.
 
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