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(NBC News)   A spokesman for Hell sighs heavily and announces construction of a a new "special place" after the FBI arrests a couple that was planning on starting a babysitting business to get access to kids they could drug and use to produce child porn   (usnews.nbcnews.com) divider line 285
    More: Sick, FBI, Benadryl, United States Attorney, sex crimes, U.S. News  
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15727 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Mar 2013 at 2:19 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-21 02:54:56 PM  

Lionel Mandrake: One word: scaphism

I'm anti-death penalty, but I'm making an exception.

I guess we could wait until just before they die, revive them, let them regain their strength, then do it again...



I heard about a colonial-era punishment for child molesters several years ago. The guy would sit naked on the middle of a log and have his dick NAILED to it. Each end of the log would be set on fire and he would be handed a knife. His choice, burn to death or cut it off and get away. I don't know what the equivalent for women would be.
 
2013-03-21 02:55:14 PM  

kiwimoogle84: THEN DRAWN AND QUARTERED.


I've read up on that.  I could get behind this.
 
2013-03-21 02:56:48 PM  

leevis: Each end of the log would be set on fire and he would be handed a knife. His choice, burn to death or cut it off and get away.


upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-03-21 02:56:50 PM  
I would love for a "brain scientist" to dissect the organ, or otherwise study it, so that he or she could explain to me how someone could get off on imagining sexual situations with infants.

What kind of wiring CAUSES that?????
 
2013-03-21 02:56:58 PM  

HindiDiscoMonster: cgraves67: I believe that skinning alive and staking to an anthill is the proper and humane punishment in this instance.

that sounds similar to an Apache form of execution, however, for completeness...

10 most gruesome forms of execution...

/I do not advocate execution btw... just interjecting some historical facts.


EXECUTION PORN THREAD!!!1!
 
2013-03-21 02:57:18 PM  

OtherLittleGuy: Obligatory:

[cdn1.screenrant.com image 400x275]


Presumably, the new place in Hell will be located adjacent to the place reserved for individuals who talk in the theater.
 
2013-03-21 02:57:40 PM  

xanadian: kiwimoogle84: THEN DRAWN AND QUARTERED.

I've read up on that.  I could get behind this.


Awesome way to kill people, in my opinion. Although I kind of like the idea of a red-hot pike shoved up their arses and they burn to death from the inside out as their own weight impales them further and further, inch by inch... Let's just say there's a lot of people who deserve the most miserable death imaginable, and I think these two fit the bill.
 
2013-03-21 02:58:16 PM  

Satan's Bunny Slippers: Mitch Taylor's Bro:

If the urban legends about what happens to child molesters in prison are true, a lifetime in general population would be sufficient.

Yeah, I know, but I really want this:  I don't want to assist in paying for their incarceration for several years, but I'll pony up for some honey and a couple of hollowed out logs.

Lionel Mandrake: One word: scaphism


Sounds like the perfect time to invest in shares of HNEY and HLGS.
 
2013-03-21 02:58:49 PM  

Lady Indica: Can you believe she's actually out now. Sheesh.


Seriously...

I can't even remember where exactly I first heard of that particular story (I'm no expert on Canadian criminal cases) but in one fell swoop I read up a bunch on it and then spent the rest of that day curled up in the fetal position and mumbling to myself. It's just that farked up.
 
2013-03-21 02:58:58 PM  

Lionel Mandrake: One word: scaphism

I'm anti-death penalty, but I'm making an exception.

I guess we could wait until just before they die, revive them, let them regain their strength, then do it again...


Yeah, where are the Goa'uld when you need them?  They perfected that technique of torture centuries ago.
 
2013-03-21 02:59:25 PM  

whither_apophis: A decent example of vertical integration right there.


LMAO, considering this blurb from some weird company he apparently works for:

"Bébars Baslan
A tenacious problem-solver skilled at integrating diverse systems and processes, and developing rapid solutions in meeting business challenges..."

http://www.infinitelykreative.com/BebarsBaslan.html

And his own website:
http://www.baslan.com/
 
2013-03-21 02:59:54 PM  
I don't think that anyone can argue that rehabilitation is possible for offenders of this caliber. Proof of guilt should carry an instant death sentence.
 
2013-03-21 03:00:20 PM  

Killer Cars: Not the same thing, but a "youngish" couple going in together on such a disgusting plan kinda reminds me of this


And now I'm going to have nightmares about my little sister.

there is a special place reserved for them already, it is called general population.

/should not have clicked either of the links.
 
2013-03-21 03:00:55 PM  
ok, this is a fake article intended to test my opposition to the death penalty, right?
 
2013-03-21 03:01:21 PM  

youmightberight: I'd be ok with them cutting untill there was nothing left while pumping in adrenaline and blood expanders/whole blood as a means of lethal punishment for these people.

And tape that - to discourage any copycats.


Come on, man, there's always a shortage of whole blood for non-pedophiles who need it. Couldn't you just recycle theirs or something?
 
2013-03-21 03:02:06 PM  
Remember:

media.tumblr.com
 
2013-03-21 03:02:14 PM  
Fortunately, really bad ideas are often coupled with really bad competency in planning and execution.
 
2013-03-21 03:02:37 PM  
leevis: Lionel Mandrake: One word: scaphism

I'm anti-death penalty, but I'm making an exception.

I guess we could wait until just before they die, revive them, let them regain their strength, then do it again...


I heard about a colonial-era punishment for child molesters several years ago. The guy would sit naked on the middle of a log and have his dick NAILED to it. Each end of the log would be set on fire and he would be handed a knife. His choice, burn to death or cut it off and get away. I don't know what the equivalent for women would be.


Make it a very dull and rusty knife just to make things more interesting.

If I had those options for some reason I think I'd try cutting my own throat with the knife rather than burning to death or self castration.
 
2013-03-21 03:04:23 PM  

Alphakronik: I'm not sticking up for child rapists here, but I do have one point of contention.


You don't arrest people for planning.  You arrest and prosecute for doing.

Hell, I plan on killing anyone who enters my home illegally, but you don't see me getting arrested for pre-meditated murder do you?

Sorry, I hate rapists as much as the rest of you, but arresting for planning is odd.

To all of you who take pride in stating you would love to 'hunt a pedophile', where were you when there was a convention of them in Italy a couple of weeks ago?


People don't plan for something like that unless they intend on carrying it out. I'd rather have them apprehended before yet another kid has to deal with the lifelong consequences of "doing". I'm quite sure anyone who was molested as a child would agree.
 
2013-03-21 03:04:24 PM  

Ambivalence: I_Am_Weasel: Lionel Mandrake: One word: scaphism

I'm anti-death penalty, but I'm making an exception.

I guess we could wait until just before they die, revive them, let them regain their strength, then do it again...

I'm anti-death penalty too, but mostly because I believe it lets them off easy.

Put these people in general population.  Let them live each day in constant fear.

Amen to that. The worst thing you can do to a person is take away their freedom and any hope of ever getting it back.  But it's not as gratifying as blowing off their genitalia and watching them bleed to death in agony, I will admit that.


i know people like to say this, that death is letting them off easy... but, that is not often the case if you talk to people on death row.  for example, dostoevksy.  check out notes from the house of the dead (book about prison in siberia in the 19th century).

/ for those who don't know, the tsar contrived a mock execution of dostoevksy to teach him a lesson.  dostoevksy did not know it was a mock execution... so he stands before the firing squad, expecting execution.  then, like some miracle of imperial clemency, a horse rider shows up with a decree to send them to siberian work camps.  well, he writes a lot about this, about the death sentence.  and it's very clear to this guy, who went through it, that death is infinitely worse than a lifetime in prison.
 
2013-03-21 03:05:53 PM  

Well I use Mac/Linux...: Wait a sec.  If they were going to let a little girl have sex with a drugged up little boy, then that little boy just got incredibly lucky, right?  I mean, as long as the little girl was hot, of course.  What if it was two drugged up girls going at each other?  That's just awesome, right?  As long as it's not an older boy sleeping with a younger girl,  I don't see what the problem is...


/surprised you haven't gotten any bites yet for this one.
 
2013-03-21 03:06:02 PM  
They probably won't go to this place.
 
2013-03-21 03:06:22 PM  
Oh  I  think that flaying is the way to go!  Just take small strips of skin off special places over a mater of weeks, with antibiotics to keep them healthy and alive and in agony!
 
2013-03-21 03:06:35 PM  

Oldiron_79: leevis: Lionel Mandrake: One word: scaphism

I'm anti-death penalty, but I'm making an exception.

I guess we could wait until just before they die, revive them, let them regain their strength, then do it again...


I heard about a colonial-era punishment for child molesters several years ago. The guy would sit naked on the middle of a log and have his dick NAILED to it. Each end of the log would be set on fire and he would be handed a knife. His choice, burn to death or cut it off and get away. I don't know what the equivalent for women would be.

Make it a very dull and rusty knife just to make things more interesting.

If I had those options for some reason I think I'd try cutting my own throat with the knife rather than burning to death or self castration.


You stab yourself on the inside of the upper right thigh. It's the most major artery in your body other than the aorta. Dead in seconds.
 
2013-03-21 03:06:53 PM  
Their lawyers had no comment.
In fairness, it's hard to comment while throwing up in your mouth.
 
2013-03-21 03:07:33 PM  
shoot'em
 
2013-03-21 03:07:36 PM  

Captain Darling: In before "people who hate child rapists are worse than child rapists"


I've never heard anyone say that.
 
2013-03-21 03:07:59 PM  
Sad to say this is far from unusual.  Sickos like this are all about getting themselves placed in positions of trust where they have access to, and authority over, children.  Often they go to considerable lengths to get placement in jobs or volunteer positions as sports coaches, youth counselors, in schools, in day cares, and so on.  The difference here is only one of degree.

I'm glad they got caught before they were able to harm any children.

I'm not going to touch the debate on what their punishment should be, although, if they're found guilty, the only way they should ever leave prison walls is feet-first.
 
2013-03-21 03:08:31 PM  

jbuist: Rev. Skarekroe: That's insane!
Dramamine isn't an allergy medication!

Yes it is.  Diphenhydramine hydrochloride.  It's the same thing as a Benadryl.

Dramamine pills just contain twice the amount.

*themoreyouknow.jpg*


Not quite, Dramamine is Dimenhydrinate which breaks down in the body to roughtly 50/50 Diphenhydramine and Chlorotheophylline. The Chlorotheophylline is a stimulant to offset the drowsiness of the diphenhydramine while maintaining it's antiemetic properties.
 
2013-03-21 03:09:19 PM  

Mitch Taylor's Bro: Lionel Mandrake: One word: scaphism

I'm anti-death penalty, but I'm making an exception.

I guess we could wait until just before they die, revive them, let them regain their strength, then do it again...

Then you're not really anti-death penalty, you just set the bar really high (or is that really low?).

If the urban legends about what happens to child molesters in prison are true, a lifetime in general population would be sufficient. Just make sure they can never harm a child--ever. If they live in fear of physical harm from their fellow inmates for the rest of their lives, oh well.


I don't think it's a urban legend, I think it is true.  I had a talk one time with a cop who told me that in jail and prison, the staff can't announce what someone is in prison for because inmates have been known to further punish those who committed crimes sex crimes against children.
 
2013-03-21 03:10:18 PM  

Alphakronik: I'm not sticking up for child rapists here, but I do have one point of contention.


You don't arrest people for planning.  You arrest and prosecute for doing.

Hell, I plan on killing anyone who enters my home illegally, but you don't see me getting arrested for pre-meditated murder do you?

Sorry, I hate rapists as much as the rest of you, but arresting for planning is odd.

To all of you who take pride in stating you would love to 'hunt a pedophile', where were you when there was a convention of them in Italy a couple of weeks ago?


Seriously, right?  They don't give out Nobel Prizes for planned chemistry.

i202.photobucket.com .

DNRTFA.  Having a bad enough day as it is.
 
2013-03-21 03:10:43 PM  
I remember seeing a nature program a while back, where they had a camera inside a weasel's nest. She had a whole pile of babies in there and one night she went out to feed.

A male weasel found the nest, entered it, raped all the baby girl weasels and bit and mutilated the genitals of all the boy baby weasels. Then he left.

So, basically, this guy has not evolved higher than a weasel.

/weasel
 
2013-03-21 03:11:22 PM  

pute kisses like a man: i know people like to say this, that death is letting them off easy... but, that is not often the case if you talk to people on death row. for example, dostoevksy. check out notes from the house of the dead (book about prison in siberia in the 19th century).


While I'm pro death penalty, I've always thought perhaps a decent middleground would be exclusion from any society.  If someone is convicted and given the death penalty, instead of actually executing them, we fly an airplane out over the Pacific Ocean a thousand miles or so and then when the pilot sees an uninhabited island, make them parachute out.

Pro-death penalty people get the peace of thinking they don't stand a chance at surviving on their own.  Anti-death penalty people get the peace of knowing we didn't actively kill them.
 
2013-03-21 03:11:44 PM  
Holy farking shiat, that made me gasp. The evil in people's hearts and minds never cease to amaze me, but geeze, making me audibly gasp? That's nuts. I'm a psychology major who's "thing" is being able to figure people out. When I see people I see glass. I can see right through them, and tell what they're about. But this... this I'm left speechless.
 
2013-03-21 03:11:51 PM  

leevis: Lionel Mandrake: One word: scaphism

I'm anti-death penalty, but I'm making an exception.

I guess we could wait until just before they die, revive them, let them regain their strength, then do it again...


I heard about a colonial-era punishment for child molesters several years ago. The guy would sit naked on the middle of a log and have his dick NAILED to it. Each end of the log would be set on fire and he would be handed a knife. His choice, burn to death or cut it off and get away. I don't know what the equivalent for women would be.


You know, it's a really bad day when your dick gets nailed to a log and it's still not the worst thing that's going to happen to you that day.
 
2013-03-21 03:12:00 PM  

yeegrek: Alphakronik: I'm not sticking up for child rapists here, but I do have one point of contention.


You don't arrest people for planning.  You arrest and prosecute for doing.

Hell, I plan on killing anyone who enters my home illegally, but you don't see me getting arrested for pre-meditated murder do you?

Sorry, I hate rapists as much as the rest of you, but arresting for planning is odd.

To all of you who take pride in stating you would love to 'hunt a pedophile', where were you when there was a convention of them in Italy a couple of weeks ago?

Seriously, right?  They don't give out Nobel Prizes for planned chemistry.

[i202.photobucket.com image 512x384] .

DNRTFA.  Having a bad enough day as it is.


Does someone need a hug?
 
2013-03-21 03:12:07 PM  
Eaten alive by hungry bears might be a good deterrent for those who think kiddy diddling is ok.
 
2013-03-21 03:15:16 PM  

lennavan: pute kisses like a man: i know people like to say this, that death is letting them off easy... but, that is not often the case if you talk to people on death row. for example, dostoevksy. check out notes from the house of the dead (book about prison in siberia in the 19th century).

While I'm pro death penalty, I've always thought perhaps a decent middleground would be exclusion from any society.  If someone is convicted and given the death penalty, instead of actually executing them, we fly an airplane out over the Pacific Ocean a thousand miles or so and then when the pilot sees an uninhabited island, make them parachute out.

Pro-death penalty people get the peace of thinking they don't stand a chance at surviving on their own.  Anti-death penalty people get the peace of knowing we didn't actively kill them.


See, and I always considered this- If you're sentenced to life in prison, you're given the option of euthanasia. Many men would rather die than rot in prison for 50 years. So they get an out by choice, justice is served, and us taxpayers save 50 years of electricity and food and salaries for the guards to watch him. Always said that would be the first thing I'd implement if I ran the world. Anti- death penalty people can't get mad because he was sentenced to die in prison anyway, he just chose to speed it up, and pro- death penalty people can be satisfied that justice was done. And we save GAZILLIONS in taxes for prisons.
 
2013-03-21 03:15:57 PM  
lennavan: pute kisses like a man: i know people like to say this, that death is letting them off easy... but, that is not often the case if you talk to people on death row. for example, dostoevksy. check out notes from the house of the dead (book about prison in siberia in the 19th century).

While I'm pro death penalty, I've always thought perhaps a decent middleground would be exclusion from any society.  If someone is convicted and given the death penalty, instead of actually executing them, we fly an airplane out over the Pacific Ocean a thousand miles or so and then when the pilot sees an uninhabited island, make them parachute out.

Pro-death penalty people get the peace of thinking they don't stand a chance at surviving on their own.  Anti-death penalty people get the peace of knowing we didn't actively kill them.


Well they can be eaten alive by coconut crabs after they are too weak to fend them off from deyhydration of being on a desert island. Sounds like something Edgar Allan Poe level depraved. I like it!
 
2013-03-21 03:16:08 PM  
The special place in Hell for these people would be:

Inflict the proper damage to create Locked-In Syndrome
Torch Optic nerves, Audial nerves, and Olfactory nerves
Insert feeding tube and catheter
Sew mouth shut

Leave alone for rest of natural life...

//I'd pay extra taxes to see that happen
 
2013-03-21 03:16:45 PM  

Lionel Mandrake: One word: scaphism


Nice, but I'm still a fan of the Blood Eagle myself

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_Eagle


/traditionalist
 
2013-03-21 03:18:50 PM  
All these torture fantasies are giving me a chubby.
 
2013-03-21 03:19:59 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: mod3072: Captain Darling: In before "people who hate child rapists are worse than child rapists"

Who the hell says that? Do you hang around at NAMBLA conventions or something? Even the bleeding-heart Fark ultra-libs don't generally stick up for kiddy-diddlers.

Actually, I have seen such sentiments here.  It's single-issue morality, no different from "life is sacred from the moment of conception" or "a woman's body is hers alone." Every conflict with the single moral tenet is resolved in the tenet's favor.

Simplemindedness is not unique to liberalism or conservatism.


It's a case of you not reading what people write.  Nobody is saying people who hate child rapists are worse then child rapists.  We're simply pointing out that the bloodlust filled fantasies that get posted in such threads tend to make that person a monster as well.

God forbid someone stick up for the rule of law and punishments that don't violate the Constitution   And yes I hope these people spend the rest of their lives in prison.  The difference between you and me is that I view prison is the punishment.  I just don't have this animalistic desire to see them die in the slowest and painful way possible.  Humans have evolved past that and you are welcome to join us in modern times.
 
2013-03-21 03:23:46 PM  

yeegrek: Alphakronik: I'm not sticking up for child rapists here, but I do have one point of contention.


You don't arrest people for planning.  You arrest and prosecute for doing.

Hell, I plan on killing anyone who enters my home illegally, but you don't see me getting arrested for pre-meditated murder do you?

Sorry, I hate rapists as much as the rest of you, but arresting for planning is odd.

To all of you who take pride in stating you would love to 'hunt a pedophile', where were you when there was a convention of them in Italy a couple of weeks ago?

Seriously, right?  They don't give out Nobel Prizes for planned chemistry.


Right...

Go to Wal-Mart for your weekly grocery run and while you're there pick up some lye, bottle of ammonia, some iodine, a few boxes of matches, Drano, and brake fluid and see if you don't get any visitors inquiring about your plans.
 
2013-03-21 03:24:49 PM  

rkiller1: At the risk of starting a flame war, these are still allegations, right? Not yet convicted? Cops, including the FBI, make mistakes, or so I've read on Fark.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waco_siege


* yawn* Amateur.
 
2013-03-21 03:25:06 PM  

Nilatir: The special place in Hell for these people would be:

Inflict the proper damage to create Locked-In Syndrome
Torch Optic nerves, Audial nerves, and Olfactory nerves
Insert feeding tube and catheter
Sew mouth shut,remove genitals.

Leave alone for rest of natural life...

//I'd pay extra taxes to see that happen


FTFY
 
2013-03-21 03:25:19 PM  

Great Janitor: I don't think it's a urban legend, I think it is true. I had a talk one time with a cop who told me that in jail and prison, the staff can't announce what someone is in prison for because inmates have been known to further punish those who committed crimes sex crimes against children.


I don't see how anyone would presume it's a mere urban legend. Society within a prison environment might be a little skewed towards certain directions compared to the general society at-large, but not by that much. Hell, force a convicted sex offender to carry a placard/wear a billboard stating their crimes, particularly if they were against children. It would not take long for something to happen to them from an otherwise upstanding, non-criminal citizen.

People don't like child rapists. Period.
 
2013-03-21 03:26:54 PM  

RoyFokker'sGhost: Lionel Mandrake: One word: scaphism

Nice, but I'm still a fan of the Blood Eagle myself

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_Eagle


/traditionalist


Exactly the sort of thing I expect from illiterate pagans who spent long, dark winters drinking beer.  You know they spent countless hours coming up with gruesome ways to kill.
 
2013-03-21 03:27:36 PM  
Dude is a photographer on model mayhem.
 
2013-03-21 03:29:19 PM  

kiwimoogle84: umad: I don't see the problem. Kids are at the mercy of their raging hormones so of course they are going to be having sex. Just because they have more game and get more ass than you did at that age is no reason to throw down a cock-block.

I'm suddenly surrounded by puritans. What happened to Fark?

Oh, I was waiting for you to show up and shiat in the thread. It seems to be your specialty.


My apologies. I will stop posting jokes and start contributing as you have by posting my torture fantasies.
 
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