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(News.com.au)   Austrian study finds one in five skiers are drunk. No figures for snowboarders, because they were unable to put bongs down long enough to answer questions   (news.com.au) divider line 74
    More: Scary, Austrians, Austrian Police, paid survey, Alexandra Kuehnelt-Leddihn  
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1742 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Mar 2013 at 12:39 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-21 12:39:59 PM
Drunk skiers? What's the worst that could happen?
 
2013-03-21 12:41:09 PM
Amateurs. Colorado coughs and belches in your general direction.
 
2013-03-21 12:42:07 PM
Crikey!!
 
2013-03-21 12:42:56 PM
Reminds me of Saturday Night Live.

snl.jt.org

"Hey Ross, dude, I heard they took your medal away!"

"Dude, they gave it back but I lost it!"
 
2013-03-21 12:44:07 PM
Remember, don't mix alcohol and pot. Stick to one buzz at a time.

Hmm, anyone got data on mixing either of those with waaaayyy too much coffee?
 
2013-03-21 12:45:25 PM
Go home, Yeti. I'm drunk.
 
2013-03-21 12:45:53 PM
Meh, bongs are for people who pay for their pot and want to make it go as far as possible.

/rolls a fattie.
 
2013-03-21 12:45:56 PM
Anybody who has ever looked down while on a ski lift knows that smuggled alcohol is everywhere on ski slopes.

What I don't get is who the people are who are taking off bras and flinging them into the trees on the way up....
 
2013-03-21 12:48:11 PM

wildcardjack: Remember, don't mix alcohol and pot. Stick to one buzz at a time.

Hmm, anyone got data on mixing either of those with waaaayyy too much coffee?


Totally agree.  Smoke a big one in the morning and get a few intense runs in then hit the bar for lunch and brew for the afternoon cruiser runs.
 
2013-03-21 12:51:16 PM
Yet people wonder why there are so many collisions on ski hills. They're either drunk or stoned out of their minds.
 
2013-03-21 12:52:14 PM

I have no idea what you're talking about.



i865.photobucket.com

i865.photobucket.com
 
2013-03-21 12:52:22 PM
Liquid courage for those black diamond runs?
 
2013-03-21 12:53:21 PM
Well, now that whole "Pizza" thing they yell at the kids is starting to make sense.
 
2013-03-21 12:54:02 PM

BruinsHockey: Yet people wonder why there are so many collisions on ski hills. They're either drunk or stoned out of their minds.


YES! That's totally it! I can tell you know a LOT about skiing. That's for your input!
 
2013-03-21 12:54:05 PM
Time for a CSB:

I love to ski. I'm not great at it, but to me going up in the mountains is 100x better than sitting on the beach. I met my girlfriend and told her that one day I'd take her skiing, and she told me she'd love to go. So a couple years down the line, I save up the cash and we go skiing. She enrolls in the half-day ski school because I figure she'll learn better from someone who teaches it all the time. That day on the mountain it is a DRIVING snowstorm and bitterly, bitterly cold. Every once in a while I pulled up next to the ski school to see her making the pie and awkwardly pie-plowing down the hill. After the half day of ski school she's exhausted, so we pack up and go home. The next day, we approach the mountain ready to tackle the bunny slope to get her ready to maybe *just maybe* do a blue before we leave to go home.

Anyway she gets out there and I wonder if the person I saw at ski school was someone who borrowed her jacket and hat. She's just abysmal. Can't even make the pie without locking her knees and falling down, or freaking out and just throwing her poles to the side and laying in the snow, totally defeated. We spend the better part of an hour just trying to go on the flat part *to* the bunny slope. The bunny slope was an even bigger disaster. We got to the bottom, and I'm frustrated. She's frustrated. We decided to just get a drink and enjoy the mountain from the bar.

Anyway, after about 4 glasses of wine she says, "You know, I think I can give it one more shot."  So we go outside, put on our skiis, and as FSM is my witness she went down the bunny slope likeit was nothing. The alcohol totally loosened her up to the point that she wasn't focusing on why she wasn't doing it - she just did it.

The moral of this story is that alcohol solves problems.
 
2013-03-21 12:55:17 PM

BruinsHockey: Yet people wonder why there are so many collisions on ski hills. They're either drunk or stoned out of their minds.


Or snowboarders.

Q:What's the first thing they teach you in snowboarding class?
A: How to say, "Whoops, sorry brah, my bad".

And quit sitting down in the middle of the goddamn run, you farking plankers.


\runs from thread
 
2013-03-21 12:57:15 PM
Everyone knows those Aussies are drunks anyway.  Every story in news.com.au pretty much confirms that.
 
2013-03-21 01:00:21 PM
www.lovemarks.com
 
2013-03-21 01:00:26 PM

Maud Dib: And quit sitting down in the middle of the goddamn run, you farking plankers.


Skiers vs snowboarders?  Is it 1995 again?  Because if it is, I have to get out of here, get back to Baltimore, buy some google stock and make sweet sweet love to Ilana Nodleman.
 
2013-03-21 01:00:28 PM

J.Shelby: Everyone knows those Aussies are drunks anyway.  Every story in news.com.au pretty much confirms that.


Exactly, the Bruces and Sheilas like a drink, thought that was common knowledge...
 
2013-03-21 01:01:36 PM

Treygreen13: The alcohol totally loosened her up to the point that she wasn't focusing on why she wasn't doing it - she just did it.


same as oral sex.
 
2013-03-21 01:02:00 PM

fireclown: Maud Dib: And quit sitting down in the middle of the goddamn run, you farking plankers.

Skiers vs snowboarders?  Is it 1995 again?  Because if it is, I have to get out of here, get back to Baltimore, buy some google stock and make sweet sweet love to Ilana Nodleman.


LOL. That was awesome.

But still, the request to the riders is still valid after all this time: Get outta the farkin' way.
 
2013-03-21 01:03:07 PM
Drink to much while skiing, this is what happens:

encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com

/ actually the guy was sober
// it was the liftie's fault
/// naked upside down guy sued Vail IIRC
//// slashies!
 
2013-03-21 01:04:56 PM

Maud Dib: BruinsHockey: Yet people wonder why there are so many collisions on ski hills. They're either drunk or stoned out of their minds.

Or snowboarders.

Q:What's the first thing they teach you in snowboarding class?
A: How to say, "Whoops, sorry brah, my bad".

And quit sitting down in the middle of the goddamn run, you farking plankers.


\runs from thread


So I'm up in Tahoe last month and I'm on a narrow run at the top of Heavenly. This boarder comes tearing along on my left and goes up the side of the cut where the trail has been made, then, in a moment of brilliance, he drops back in right in front of me, ninety degrees to the fall of the run and with basically zero speed. I take evasive action to go behind him and run over his board. As I go past I yell "Dick move, dude!" and of course he says back "Sorry Brah".

So what's the difference between a snowboard and a vacuum cleaner?

Where you attach the dirtbag.

*follows  Maud Dib out of thread*
 
2013-03-21 01:10:28 PM

Treygreen13: Time for a CSB:

I love to ski. I'm not great at it, but to me going up in the mountains is 100x better than sitting on the beach. I met my girlfriend and told her that one day I'd take her skiing, and she told me she'd love to go. So a couple years down the line, I save up the cash and we go skiing. She enrolls in the half-day ski school because I figure she'll learn better from someone who teaches it all the time. That day on the mountain it is a DRIVING snowstorm and bitterly, bitterly cold. Every once in a while I pulled up next to the ski school to see her making the pie and awkwardly pie-plowing down the hill. After the half day of ski school she's exhausted, so we pack up and go home. The next day, we approach the mountain ready to tackle the bunny slope to get her ready to maybe *just maybe* do a blue before we leave to go home.

Anyway she gets out there and I wonder if the person I saw at ski school was someone who borrowed her jacket and hat. She's just abysmal. Can't even make the pie without locking her knees and falling down, or freaking out and just throwing her poles to the side and laying in the snow, totally defeated. We spend the better part of an hour just trying to go on the flat part *to* the bunny slope. The bunny slope was an even bigger disaster. We got to the bottom, and I'm frustrated. She's frustrated. We decided to just get a drink and enjoy the mountain from the bar.

Anyway, after about 4 glasses of wine she says, "You know, I think I can give it one more shot."  So we go outside, put on our skiis, and as FSM is my witness she went down the bunny slope likeit was nothing. The alcohol totally loosened her up to the point that she wasn't focusing on why she wasn't doing it - she just did it.

The moral of this story is that alcohol solves problems.


Haha, nice. I always have a hydrapak on while boarding that has a vodka mix of some sort in it.  You can't put in only water cause it'll freeze.  That's my excuse anyway.  It does make you do riskier stuff and always seem to pull it off while drunk.  And if you wipeout you don't feel it as much.
 
2013-03-21 01:10:56 PM

Treygreen13: Time for a CSB:

I love to ski. I'm not great at it, but to me going up in the mountains is 100x better than sitting on the beach. I met my girlfriend and told her that one day I'd take her skiing, and she told me she'd love to go. So a couple years down the line, I save up the cash and we go skiing. She enrolls in the half-day ski school because I figure she'll learn better from someone who teaches it all the time. That day on the mountain it is a DRIVING snowstorm and bitterly, bitterly cold. Every once in a while I pulled up next to the ski school to see her making the pie and awkwardly pie-plowing down the hill. After the half day of ski school she's exhausted, so we pack up and go home. The next day, we approach the mountain ready to tackle the bunny slope to get her ready to maybe *just maybe* do a blue before we leave to go home.

Anyway she gets out there and I wonder if the person I saw at ski school was someone who borrowed her jacket and hat. She's just abysmal. Can't even make the pie without locking her knees and falling down, or freaking out and just throwing her poles to the side and laying in the snow, totally defeated. We spend the better part of an hour just trying to go on the flat part *to* the bunny slope. The bunny slope was an even bigger disaster. We got to the bottom, and I'm frustrated. She's frustrated. We decided to just get a drink and enjoy the mountain from the bar.

Anyway, after about 4 glasses of wine she says, "You know, I think I can give it one more shot."  So we go outside, put on our skiis, and as FSM is my witness she went down the bunny slope likeit was nothing. The alcohol totally loosened her up to the point that she wasn't focusing on why she wasn't doing it - she just did it.

The moral of this story is that alcohol solves problems.


This was me and my wife last weekend.  She had a couple beers and flew down the mountain like a boss.  She even did 1.5 blue squares at the end of the day.  (the 0.5 blue square was when she happened to wipe out horribly and sprain her knee...  baby steps...)
 
2013-03-21 01:13:47 PM
Ok but being a pussy ruins everything.
 
2013-03-21 01:16:19 PM

Nickninja: This was me and my wife last weekend.  She had a couple beers and flew down the mountain like a boss.  She even did 1.5 blue squares at the end of the day.  (the 0.5 blue square was when she happened to wipe out horribly and sprain her knee...  baby steps...)


Nice. Unfortunately that was our last day so she'll have to live with only doing a couple of greens until the next time we go. Also next time we go we're stopping at the bar *first*.

nickerj1: Haha, nice. I always have a hydrapak on while boarding that has a vodka mix of some sort in it.  You can't put in only water cause it'll freeze.  That's my excuse anyway.  It does make you do riskier stuff and always seem to pull it off while drunk.  And if you wipeout you don't feel it as much.


I have yet to try skiing while drunk - but my limitations aren't so much that I'm uptight, but my ankles are weak and I'm usually hurting by the end of the day.
 
2013-03-21 01:17:58 PM

TwowheelinTim: Meh, bongs are for people who pay for their pot and want to make it go as far as possible.

/rolls a fattie.


Also for people who don't feel like smoking paper.  Joints always taste like ass.
 
2013-03-21 01:20:50 PM
Those Australians really know how to drink.
 
2013-03-21 01:26:20 PM
Smoke + skiing = mellow great powder day

Drinks + skiing = sloppy falling uneasy shaky legs day

I save the drinks for apres.

/ymmv
/invites twowheelintim over for a fatty
 
2013-03-21 01:27:27 PM
"Fourteen have also died in avalanches, down from 13."

Skiers apparently not the only ones drunk...
 
2013-03-21 01:27:52 PM
wildcardjack

Hmm, anyone got data on mixing either of those with waaaayyy too much coffee?

   Here in the West Kootenays espresso and a fattie are referred to as a "hippie speed-ball". The folks who indulge as such are usually ski touring 10,000 vertical feet a day and are generally very friendly and smell funny as they pass you....anecdotal, yes?
   So I've heard.....

   I am fairly lucky to live in a place where I can ski tour from my front door to some of the best skiing anywhere. I don't really understand the folks who get a week here and spend it getting wrecked every night
instead of skiing the sh*t out of the place. You can drink and get high anywhere. I am fine with people doing whatever party favors they wish but skiing and being in the mountains is magic, you don't need to get all messed up to enjoy it, I kinda think it actually sours the vibe....just sayin'.

imageshack.us

imageshack.us
imageshack.us
imageshack.us

/only caffeinated senseless...no other illicit or performance enhancing substances involved
 
2013-03-21 01:33:30 PM
New Age Redneck:
   I am fairly lucky to live in a place where I can ski tour from my front door to some of the best skiing anywhere. I don't really understand the folks who get a week here and spend it getting wrecked every night
instead of skiing the sh*t out of the place. You can drink and get high anywhere. I am fine with people doing whatever party favors they wish but skiing and being in the mountains is magic, you don't need to get all messed up to enjoy it, I kinda think it actually sours the vibe....just sayin'.


Ski touring you mean backcountry stuff? Like off the resorts? I'm curious how one gets into that, it looks amazing! I love me some skiing, but the last few seasons it's starting to seem like each new ski resort I hit is the same as the last one...
 
2013-03-21 01:37:49 PM
How long until this Austrian study translates to the banning of alcohol on the slopes and in the chalet?
 
2013-03-21 01:38:12 PM

CheekyMonkey: TwowheelinTim: Meh, bongs are for people who pay for their pot and want to make it go as far as possible.

/rolls a fattie.

Also for people who don't feel like smoking paper.  Joints always taste like ass.


Sounds like you're using the wrong paper.

PSA: The stuff on the roll in the bathroom will taste like ass.
 
2013-03-21 01:45:38 PM

omgbears: New Age Redneck:
   I am fairly lucky to live in a place where I can ski tour from my front door to some of the best skiing anywhere. I don't really understand the folks who get a week here and spend it getting wrecked every night
instead of skiing the sh*t out of the place. You can drink and get high anywhere. I am fine with people doing whatever party favors they wish but skiing and being in the mountains is magic, you don't need to get all messed up to enjoy it, I kinda think it actually sours the vibe....just sayin'.

Ski touring you mean backcountry stuff? Like off the resorts? I'm curious how one gets into that, it looks amazing! I love me some skiing, but the last few seasons it's starting to seem like each new ski resort I hit is the same as the last one...


Take an avalanche safety course...buy a tranciever, shovel, probe, splitboard/touring ski set up along with skins for ascending.
You'll earn the greatest runs in your life.
 
2013-03-21 01:53:29 PM

Treygreen13: Time for a CSB:

I love to ski. I'm not great at it, but to me going up in the mountains is 100x better than sitting on the beach. I met my girlfriend and told her that one day I'd take her skiing, and she told me she'd love to go. So a couple years down the line, I save up the cash and we go skiing. She enrolls in the half-day ski school because I figure she'll learn better from someone who teaches it all the time. That day on the mountain it is a DRIVING snowstorm and bitterly, bitterly cold. Every once in a while I pulled up next to the ski school to see her making the pie and awkwardly pie-plowing down the hill. After the half day of ski school she's exhausted, so we pack up and go home. The next day, we approach the mountain ready to tackle the bunny slope to get her ready to maybe *just maybe* do a blue before we leave to go home.

Anyway she gets out there and I wonder if the person I saw at ski school was someone who borrowed her jacket and hat. She's just abysmal. Can't even make the pie without locking her knees and falling down, or freaking out and just throwing her poles to the side and laying in the snow, totally defeated. We spend the better part of an hour just trying to go on the flat part *to* the bunny slope. The bunny slope was an even bigger disaster. We got to the bottom, and I'm frustrated. She's frustrated. We decided to just get a drink and enjoy the mountain from the bar.

Anyway, after about 4 glasses of wine she says, "You know, I think I can give it one more shot."  So we go outside, put on our skiis, and as FSM is my witness she went down the bunny slope likeit was nothing. The alcohol totally loosened her up to the point that she wasn't focusing on why she wasn't doing it - she just did it.

The moral of this story is that alcohol solves problems.


I always recommend booze when I'm on a trip with noobs. Last trip I was one, we had a noobie who refused to drink anything on the mountain. He was struggling and not having much fun. I kept telling him that booze was the answer. The last day we are there, he finally gets hammered at lunch and then spends the entire afternoon with me flying down the blues. He was pissed he didn't listen to me on day one.
 
2013-03-21 01:56:04 PM

New Age Redneck: I am fairly lucky to live in a place where I can ski tour from my front door to some of the best skiing anywhere. I don't really understand the folks who get a week here and spend it getting wrecked every night


i used to live in switzerland, and we'd go skiing pretty frequently (mountains were a short train ride away).  and every lunch we would stop, have a retarded good meal (like fondue) and drink local wine.  well, you have to drink wine with fondue or the cheese could kill you.  that's a fact.  everyone knows that.  and you have to eat fondue while on a mountain in switzerland, or else you will lose your human card.  that is also fact.

so, it's basically forbidden to not drink while skiing.  lunch would usually take an hour and afterwards, we were all a little fat and happy and didn't ski too good.  of course, that was fine, it's gotten warmer and the off pist stuff isn't as safe, so we're just skiing the plain jane blues/blacks now anyways, and we've only got a couple of hours before the lifts close and it's time to catch the train home.  all in all, a perfect day.

if you want to enjoy the majesty of the mountains and the joy of skiing, do so. and do so on your own terms.  the only standard for pleasure is one's own.

/ however, skiing in the states, in the good mountains, i take the skiing a little more seriously.  the alps cannot compare with skiing in the states.*  oh yeah, and in all those states, food sucks balls.**  especially on the mountains.  farking most amazing nature, fauna, and flora in the world, and not a single chef.  i guess that's what happens when nature spoils you.  well, just saying, i understand not seeking wine and food in the mountains in the states, because all the food sucks.  it's basically just an expensive disappointment.

* like colorado, tahoe, utah, etc.
** unless you really want to pay, which is bs.  all food, from low to high, should be good.  otherwise your culture is bankrupt.

// i just footnoted a slahie
/// twice
 
2013-03-21 01:56:39 PM
omgbears

Ski touring you mean backcountry stuff? Like off the resorts? I'm curious how one gets into that, it looks amazing! I love me some skiing, but the last few seasons it's starting to seem like each new ski resort I hit is the same as the last one...

   Yeah. If you are a strong skier and can ski all the terrain at the resort you are probably good to go as far as skiing ability. That said, routefinding, avalanche assesment, terrain analysis, fitness, etc...take a while to build. Go for a day of touring with a guide, go cat or heli skiing that will give you a taste in a controlled safe environment. If you enjoy that, start with an AST (avalanche skills course) take a wilderness first aid course, learn your weather, learn the snowpack, dial routefinding, know and recognize avalanche terrain......build your skills and mileage.
 
zez
2013-03-21 02:02:43 PM
I'm assuming this was the one guy they asked.

www.mediabistro.com
 
2013-03-21 02:04:13 PM
Quick math lesson, subby- 29% of 20% (one in 5) = 5.8% of skiers (legally) drunk.  Or about one in 17.
 
2013-03-21 02:04:56 PM
pute kisses like a man

food sucks balls

   I've done very little skiing in the states but I will say the best day-lodge food in skiing is at Whitewater in Nelson BC.No really, great little ski area with the best combo of coffee, food and pow anywhere.

I think you've misunderstood me. Good food and wine, yes. Sh*tfaced-drunk frat-boy puking off chair lift, no.
 
2013-03-21 02:13:31 PM
Ah, I'm calling BS, at least here - when I find a snowboarder's party spot, it's marked by discarded PBR's.  We call the boarder in the group with the backpack "the Tanker", cause he's got the pack full of beers.  Most of them seem to be straight arrow boozers.

On these mountains, the best skiiers are smoking kine buds and gave up the Ethanol a while ago.


/boozers are losers
//but with dope
///there's hope
 
2013-03-21 02:17:46 PM
I got so drunk skiing one time at Kirkwood in CA. I couldn't make turns on the last run of the day.

I'd ski straight a while, find myself totally unable to turn, fall over as a means of stopping.  While still down, punch a hole in the snow with a gloved fist.  Puke into hole.  Cover with fresh snow.  Stand up again, "ski" until I was going too fast, fall over again, punch, puke, repeat.

There was a guy behind me maybe 30 feet back.  He never passed, just stayed with me the whole way off the mountain.  I finally took a good look to see who it was.

Ski patrol.

Eeps.

He never said a word, was just making sure I didn't fall off into some hole under a tree and freeze.

/  18 years old and dumb.
 
2013-03-21 02:19:07 PM
ficklefkrfark: ...

New Age Redneck: ...

Ahhh, cool, thanks! I didn't really have any idea where to start, but it looks like I'll have to look into some guided runs next time I'm planning a trip. I suspect the hard part will be getting the rest of my ski group to buy in ;)
 
2013-03-21 02:21:57 PM
You have to be drunk to even attempt some of those Austrian pistes.

/Harikiri
 
2013-03-21 02:29:09 PM

wildcardjack: Remember, don't mix alcohol and pot. Stick to one buzz at a time.


that's crazy talk. pot helps with nausea and alcohol combats any paranoia. best party combo ever.
 
2013-03-21 02:32:29 PM
www.worldbestspot.com
The game built for drinking.
 
2013-03-21 02:36:41 PM

New Age Redneck: pute kisses like a man

food sucks balls

   I've done very little skiing in the states but I will say the best day-lodge food in skiing is at Whitewater in Nelson BC.No really, great little ski area with the best combo of coffee, food and pow anywhere.

I think you've misunderstood me. Good food and wine, yes. Sh*tfaced-drunk frat-boy puking off chair lift, no.


Kootney's are crazy awesome for powder. I always like it when my flight home from Cancelgar gets cancelled all because of the snow, just go back to the slopes! Happens more often then not and puts a massive smile on my face!
 
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