If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Apple Insider)   Apple applies to patent phones that know they're falling and turn in mid-air to avoid breaking their screens. Subby can't decide whether to fasten one to a cat, or to a piece of buttered toast   (appleinsider.com) divider line 83
    More: Interesting, cats, center of mass, iPhones, gyroscopes, miniaturization, complex systems, sensors, portable building  
•       •       •

1837 clicks; posted to Geek » on 21 Mar 2013 at 10:01 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



83 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-03-21 10:04:01 AM  
I would recommend the toast.  Less likely to lead to perforations when fastening.
 
2013-03-21 10:06:00 AM  
They still can't find room for USB or external memory ports though.
 
2013-03-21 10:06:59 AM  
Both. Make a three phase motor out of it.
 
2013-03-21 10:07:37 AM  
I would suggest apple do something that encourages users not to walk around with their iphones on display when they are not using them, this would prevent them dropping them and leaving them on tables and in the back of taxis.

Perhaps a simple iButton to wear on their shirt letting everyone they have an Iphone on their person.

Or perhaps develope an Icase that costs $100 dollars that will over some level of protection if they insist on walking around with the damn thing on display.
 
2013-03-21 10:08:39 AM  
Jeff Bezos (CEO of Amazon) already applied for a patent for a phone that knows when it's falling and deploys airbags to stop the fall.
 
2013-03-21 10:11:03 AM  

RexTalionis: Jeff Bezos (CEO of Amazon) already applied for a patent for a phone that knows when it's falling and deploys airbags to stop the fall.


That will be exciting when you go parachuting with your phone in your pocket.
 
2013-03-21 10:11:26 AM  
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-03-21 10:11:47 AM  
How about just making a farking phone that doesn't break when you drop it?  Anyone?  Anyone?

Bueller?
 
2013-03-21 10:14:47 AM  
My phone knows when it's falling.


It just isn't afraid of death....
 
2013-03-21 10:16:36 AM  

wildcardjack: Both. Make a three phase motor out of it.



Actually, if you epoxy all 3 together and toss it in a phone booth you would have a TARDIS.


/Hawt companion chick not included.
 
2013-03-21 10:17:44 AM  
FTA:  Here, the patent calls for a number of solutions, including the movement of a weighted mass within the device, a means to "grip a plug" to prevent a freefall, lift foils that can be extended out from the surface of a device, and a thrust mechanism such as a can of gas, among other countermeasures.

Now, I could be wrong, and reading this completely incorrectly, but it doesn't sound like they've patented an actual device, but rather the IDEA that you can protect a phone from falling.  Not a "we have an idea or product ready to go", but "if anyone ever comes up with a way to protect cell phones is this vague way, we have a patent on it".
 
2013-03-21 10:20:35 AM  

theflatline: I would suggest apple do something that encourages users not to walk around with their iphones on display when they are not using them, this would prevent them dropping them and leaving them on tables and in the back of taxis.


What are you talking about? Do people walk around holding out their iPhones when they're not using them? Never seen that happen. Every dropped iPhone I've seen has been knocked off a table or has slipped while being pulled out of a pocket to answer a call/text.
 
2013-03-21 10:21:57 AM  
Tape all three together to increase the rotational velocity of the normal cat/butter toast set up by 33%.
 
2013-03-21 10:22:08 AM  

No Such Agency: How about just making a farking phone that doesn't break when you drop it?  Anyone?  Anyone?


An EMT friend of mine has some kind of specially built Android smartphone that is designed to take a lot of abuse. Among other things, he's used it to break car windows, had it entirely submerged for long periods of time, run over it with his car, and thrown it at walls.

He would drop it in his drink at restaurants just because he could.
 
2013-03-21 10:22:53 AM  
Apple patents something that's actually novel, and seems kind of cool and useful?  It must be opposite day.
 
2013-03-21 10:24:51 AM  

scottydoesntknow: [upload.wikimedia.org image 209x535]


images.wikia.com
 
2013-03-21 10:25:21 AM  

devildog123: FTA:  Here, the patent calls for a number of solutions, including the movement of a weighted mass within the device, a means to "grip a plug" to prevent a freefall, lift foils that can be extended out from the surface of a device, and a thrust mechanism such as a can of gas, among other countermeasures.

Now, I could be wrong, and reading this completely incorrectly, but it doesn't sound like they've patented an actual device, but rather the IDEA that you can protect a phone from falling.  Not a "we have an idea or product ready to go", but "if anyone ever comes up with a way to protect cell phones is this vague way, we have a patent on it".


Ah.  Never mind.
 
2013-03-21 10:25:30 AM  

dukeblue219: theflatline: I would suggest apple do something that encourages users not to walk around with their iphones on display when they are not using them, this would prevent them dropping them and leaving them on tables and in the back of taxis.

What are you talking about? Do people walk around holding out their iPhones when they're not using them? Never seen that happen. Every dropped iPhone I've seen has been knocked off a table or has slipped while being pulled out of a pocket to answer a call/text.


You need more Apple rage.  With it, you will see it all the time, like when you there is car you want to buy and then you see them everywhere.  Apple rage will do that for you.

/company, not the fruit
 
2013-03-21 10:28:15 AM  

Parthenogenetic: scottydoesntknow: [upload.wikimedia.org image 209x535]

[images.wikia.com image 269x466]


CSB: First day of high school science, the teacher wanted us to do a short experiment on anything at all, in order to teach us about the scientific method and experimental protocols.  I chose to do the whole "cat with toast strapped to its back" thing.  Except I couldn't get the toast to stay on the cat's back; every time I dropped the cat, the toast shifted to its belly.

I guess you can't fark with universal laws.
 
2013-03-21 10:29:23 AM  

dukeblue219: theflatline: I would suggest apple do something that encourages users not to walk around with their iphones on display when they are not using them, this would prevent them dropping them and leaving them on tables and in the back of taxis.

What are you talking about? Do people walk around holding out their iPhones when they're not using them? Never seen that happen. Every dropped iPhone I've seen has been knocked off a table or has slipped while being pulled out of a pocket to answer a call/text.


I am a manager in an ATT call center and I have to take escalated calls at least 4-5 times a day about someone with a lost or broken iphone, that they have left somewhere or dropped because they were carrying it around in their hand.

Go to a bar or a public place and watch, people walk around with their Iphones in their hands all the time.

I tend to notice this because I am in the business.
 
2013-03-21 10:34:43 AM  

No Such Agency: How about just making a farking phone that doesn't break when you drop it?  Anyone?  Anyone?

Bueller?


I've dropped my phone a few times and don't have so much as a scratch on the screen. I've seen quite a few cracked iPhone screens though. Are they really that fragile?
 
2013-03-21 10:36:13 AM  

HeartBurnKid: Apple patents something that's actually novel, and seems kind of cool and useful?  It must be opposite day.


This actually *is* a clever idea - one that threatens my sanity by challenging my normal view on the (in)validity of software patents.  By my understanding, all of the hardware components may exist in the phone already, primarily the accelerometer/gyro sensors and vibe motor.  All that's needed is the software to make it work.
 
2013-03-21 10:37:45 AM  

No Such Agency: How about just making a farking phone that doesn't break when you drop it?  Anyone?  Anyone?

Bueller?


Yes. Furthermore, why don't they just make the whole plane out the stuff that the black box is made of? If the WTC was made out of that stuff, and the planes were made out of that stuff, we still have a Clinton economy. You're on to something here.
 
2013-03-21 10:39:48 AM  

dukeblue219: theflatline: I would suggest apple do something that encourages users not to walk around with their iphones on display when they are not using them, this would prevent them dropping them and leaving them on tables and in the back of taxis.

What are you talking about? Do people walk around holding out their iPhones when they're not using them? Never seen that happen. Every dropped iPhone I've seen has been knocked off a table or has slipped while being pulled out of a pocket to answer a call/text.




I've seen one guy have it in his hand for no reason back in about 2009. My friends and I were looking for a bar and asked him if he knew. The guy held up his phone just like in the commercials at the time, and was like "well, lets look it up". And struggled to type while displaying his phone to us. By the time he was halfway done typing in the name of the bar i had asked a passerby who told me how to get there. And I dragged my friends off before he could finish typing.

/granted we were 10 minutes from Apple, so maybe he was a guy who was paid to walk around with it on display
//I realized then I never wanted a smart phone.
 
2013-03-21 10:42:03 AM  
Sweet, now I can make a virus that makes your phone slap you in the face on command.  It's a wish come true!
 
2013-03-21 10:45:02 AM  

HeartBurnKid: Apple patents something that's actually novel, and seems kind of cool and useful?  It must be opposite day.


Not really, it was done years ago for laptop harddrives, so they are just trying to patent a pre-existing and common sense concept ... again.
 
2013-03-21 10:47:30 AM  
Do I have to buy the "9 lives" warranty?
 
2013-03-21 10:47:48 AM  
Do either, subby, and you've invented the hoverboard.
 
2013-03-21 10:51:03 AM  
Fascinating. How about a feature like Swype, or other technology that other phones have had for years now but Apple can't seem to get the hang of?
 
2013-03-21 10:52:23 AM  

dukeblue219: Every dropped iPhone I've seen has been knocked off a table or has slipped while being pulled out of a pocket to answer a call/text.


My sister's destroyed no less than three iPhones by forgetting they were in her pocket and thereby dropping them into the toilet somehow. This has very little to do with the article at hand, but it makes me laugh like an idiot every time I think about it.
 
2013-03-21 10:52:58 AM  

No Such Agency: How about just making a farking phone that doesn't break when you drop it?  Anyone?  Anyone?

Bueller?



Make the screen out of transparent aluminum. How much would that be worth to ya, laddie?
 
2013-03-21 10:53:55 AM  

RexTalionis: Jeff Bezos (CEO of Amazon) already applied for a patent for a phone that knows when it's falling and deploys airbags to stop the fall.


So? This one doesn't use airbags, and in fact uses an entirely different mechanism.
 
2013-03-21 10:55:53 AM  

devildog123: FTA:  Here, the patent calls for a number of solutions, including the movement of a weighted mass within the device, a means to "grip a plug" to prevent a freefall, lift foils that can be extended out from the surface of a device, and a thrust mechanism such as a can of gas, among other countermeasures.

Now, I could be wrong, and reading this completely incorrectly, but it doesn't sound like they've patented an actual device, but rather the IDEA that you can protect a phone from falling.  Not a "we have an idea or product ready to go", but "if anyone ever comes up with a way to protect cell phones is this vague way, we have a patent on it".


You're reading the article correctly, but the article's not the patent application.
 
2013-03-21 10:55:57 AM  
Is the glass part required for the touch capable screens?  Because, as mentioned above, it seems blindingly obvious not to use glass but it's just as obviously a requirement for some part of that device to function.

Think I'll go patent the IDEA that you could make a touch screen out of something non-breakable.
 
2013-03-21 10:56:53 AM  
Sorry, for some reason I thought it said turn off in mid air.

Still will not work, as it will not have enough time to deploy and stabalize the fall.
What you need is a padding, or to use a screen that can take the impact.

Then again the reason that they are using a glass screen is because Jobs did not have the brain power to keep his keys in a different pocket then his phone.
 
2013-03-21 10:57:28 AM  
Is there an app that allows one's phone to play the Wilhelm Scream as it hits the ground?

/ want.
 
2013-03-21 10:57:44 AM  

sjmcc13: HeartBurnKid: Apple patents something that's actually novel, and seems kind of cool and useful?  It must be opposite day.

Not really, it was done years ago for laptop harddrives, so they are just trying to patent a pre-existing and common sense concept ... again.


Laptop hard drives had the ability to reorient themselves in flight to land on a specific side?

Go back and read the article again, if you can't be bothered to read the patent application - they're not claiming they invented "discover if you're falling, and do 'something' about it," which laptop drives did have - specifically, parking the heads during fall. Apple's claiming a specific 'something' that's different than what drives did, or even could do.
 
2013-03-21 11:05:55 AM  
Can you patent "phones that know they're falling and turn in midair to avoid the screens" or just one particular method of making phones know they're falling and turn in midair?

Next phones need to know when they're about to land in a toilet and levitate for a second or two.
 
2013-03-21 11:09:03 AM  

Theaetetus: sjmcc13: HeartBurnKid: Apple patents something that's actually novel, and seems kind of cool and useful?  It must be opposite day.

Not really, it was done years ago for laptop harddrives, so they are just trying to patent a pre-existing and common sense concept ... again.

Laptop hard drives had the ability to reorient themselves in flight to land on a specific side?

Go back and read the article again, if you can't be bothered to read the patent application - they're not claiming they invented "discover if you're falling, and do 'something' about it," which laptop drives did have - specifically, parking the heads during fall. Apple's claiming a specific 'something' that's different than what drives did, or even could do.


I already did, That said stabalizing fins are not a new concept either. Apple is still creating nothing new and using a common sense method of developement where every shoice is forced, but trying to patent it like a new concept. Plus their idea is a bad one since it will only have a small range where it can have enough time to take effect, and not be to high that it does not matter.
 
2013-03-21 11:13:41 AM  

Theaetetus: RexTalionis: Jeff Bezos (CEO of Amazon) already applied for a patent for a phone that knows when it's falling and deploys airbags to stop the fall.

So? This one doesn't use airbags, and in fact uses an entirely different mechanism.


Yes, I know, but I think it's funny how both Bezos and Apple are thinking along the same lines for highly stupid and improbable solutions to phones breaking.

As opposed to, you know, not making the damn things out of glass (or, if you do, make it out of more resilient glass).
 
2013-03-21 11:15:04 AM  
my fav article about form factor disappeared but it was very simple

the manufacturer of the SCREEN owns the "form factor"
 
2013-03-21 11:16:20 AM  

RexTalionis: Theaetetus: RexTalionis: Jeff Bezos (CEO of Amazon) already applied for a patent for a phone that knows when it's falling and deploys airbags to stop the fall.

So? This one doesn't use airbags, and in fact uses an entirely different mechanism.

Yes, I know, but I think it's funny how both Bezos and Apple are thinking along the same lines for highly stupid and improbable solutions to phones breaking.

As opposed to, you know, not making the damn things out of glass (or, if you do, make it out of more resilient glass).


They could make the screen out of steel, but it really screws up the resolution.
 
2013-03-21 11:16:20 AM  

theflatline: I would suggest apple do something that encourages users not to walk around with their iphones on display when they are not using them, this would prevent them dropping them and leaving them on tables and in the back of taxis.

Perhaps a simple iButton to wear on their shirt letting everyone they have an Iphone on their person.

Or perhaps develope an Icase that costs $100 dollars that will over some level of protection if they insist on walking around with the damn thing on display.


This is exactly why I don't buy Apple products, and can't stand the average Apple fanatic.  Even their farking phone cases have to have a circle cut out in the back so that everyone can see the Apple logo on their phone, because heaven forbid someone might not be able to tell what kind of phone they are using.  I especially loathe people who buy a dell laptop and then put an Apple sticker over the Dell logo.  God that makes me want to farking punch someone.
 
2013-03-21 11:17:09 AM  
From my experience, phones made out of plastic usually absorb the energy across the whole surface and don't break/crack as often, while metal encased phones seems to have more fractured glass issues even if they don't fall on their face. I would imagine gorilla glass products make this less of an issue.
 
2013-03-21 11:17:49 AM  

sjmcc13: Theaetetus: sjmcc13: HeartBurnKid: Apple patents something that's actually novel, and seems kind of cool and useful?  It must be opposite day.

Not really, it was done years ago for laptop harddrives, so they are just trying to patent a pre-existing and common sense concept ... again.

Laptop hard drives had the ability to reorient themselves in flight to land on a specific side?

Go back and read the article again, if you can't be bothered to read the patent application - they're not claiming they invented "discover if you're falling, and do 'something' about it," which laptop drives did have - specifically, parking the heads during fall. Apple's claiming a specific 'something' that's different than what drives did, or even could do.

I already did, That said stabalizing fins are not a new concept either.


I've never seen a laptop hard drive with stabalizing fins, and I'm not sure how they would even work, since they'd hit the rest of the components inside the laptop and aren't out in the air. I haven't even seen a laptop with stablizing fins. But you say this was done "years ago". Got a cite?

Apple is still creating nothing new and using a common sense method of developement where every shoice is forced, but trying to patent it like a new concept. Plus their idea is a bad one since it will only have a small range where it can have enough time to take effect, and not be to high that it does not matter.

Heh. "This idea is obvious and common sensical! Oh, and it doesn't even work!" You realize that you're admitting that if they make it work, it's not obvious, right?
 
2013-03-21 11:19:02 AM  

RexTalionis: Theaetetus: RexTalionis: Jeff Bezos (CEO of Amazon) already applied for a patent for a phone that knows when it's falling and deploys airbags to stop the fall.

So? This one doesn't use airbags, and in fact uses an entirely different mechanism.

Yes, I know, but I think it's funny how both Bezos and Apple are thinking along the same lines for highly stupid and improbable solutions to phones breaking.

As opposed to, you know, not making the damn things out of glass (or, if you do, make it out of more resilient glass).


I had a phone that was made of solid metal. It was unbreakable, but I could never get any signal.
 
2013-03-21 11:19:07 AM  
Did anyone else have to read that headline multiple times to figure out what it was saying?

/I think it finally made sense on about read #6
 
2013-03-21 11:19:52 AM  

theflatline: I would suggest apple do something that encourages users not to walk around with their iphones on display when they are not using them, this would prevent them dropping them and leaving them on tables and in the back of taxis.


Hipster jeans don't have pockets. Or they have pockets, but since the jeans are so tight, you can't get anything in them.
 
2013-03-21 11:25:47 AM  
*looks at patent application*
Huh. They just duct tape the phone to the back of the cat. Why didn't I think of that?
 
2013-03-21 11:30:08 AM  

Theaetetus: sjmcc13: Theaetetus: sjmcc13: HeartBurnKid: Apple patents something that's actually novel, and seems kind of cool and useful?  It must be opposite day.

Not really, it was done years ago for laptop harddrives, so they are just trying to patent a pre-existing and common sense concept ... again.

Laptop hard drives had the ability to reorient themselves in flight to land on a specific side?

Go back and read the article again, if you can't be bothered to read the patent application - they're not claiming they invented "discover if you're falling, and do 'something' about it," which laptop drives did have - specifically, parking the heads during fall. Apple's claiming a specific 'something' that's different than what drives did, or even could do.

I already did, That said stabalizing fins are not a new concept either.

I've never seen a laptop hard drive with stabalizing fins, and I'm not sure how they would even work, since they'd hit the rest of the components inside the laptop and aren't out in the air. I haven't even seen a laptop with stablizing fins. But you say this was done "years ago". Got a cite?

Apple is still creating nothing new and using a common sense method of developement where every shoice is forced, but trying to patent it like a new concept. Plus their idea is a bad one since it will only have a small range where it can have enough time to take effect, and not be to high that it does not matter.

Heh. "This idea is obvious and common sensical! Oh, and it doesn't even work!" You realize that you're admitting that if they make it work, it's not obvious, right?


Except I did not say it does not work, I said it willl have to narrow a window where it will work. Not is most falls are withint that window the apple slaves will about rave how it saves their phone, but there are to amny situations where it will fail that other design methods (like say makeing a sturdier phone) would have worked. plus this will take up valuable space inside the phone, which is probably better served elsewhere.
 
Displayed 50 of 83 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report