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(Philly Burbs)   If your "friend" OD's on heroin at your place, you should call the authorities to take his body, then call the florist to order funeral flowers. If you instead leave his body in the florist's parking lot, just claim you're easily confused   (phillyburbs.com) divider line 57
    More: Dumbass, parking lots, heroin, friends  
•       •       •

2567 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Mar 2013 at 9:56 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-21 07:58:21 AM
i OD'ed on heroin once, and didn't well do ANYTHING.  and i'm fine.  i bet that guy is fine too
 
2013-03-21 08:10:06 AM
I thought you were supposed to jab them in the heart with adrenaline.
 
2013-03-21 08:50:55 AM
wiki.tarantino.info

Don't be bringin some farked up poo-butt to my house!
 
2013-03-21 09:57:57 AM
I wonder if she has a fast car.
 
2013-03-21 10:03:14 AM
img2-1.timeinc.net

This should be an animated gif. I need to rummage around and see if I have the DVD.

Yes, I have so much media I need to rummage around to see if I have Pulp Fiction on DVD. It might be on Blu-Ray, in which case I can't rip the frames on a computer 'cuz I don't have a Blu-Ray drive on a PC.
 
2013-03-21 10:03:42 AM
www.90smovies.net
 
2013-03-21 10:06:09 AM
hey, anyone post a pulp fiction reference yet?
no?
ok, I'll do it...
www.thefatwhiteguy.com
 
2013-03-21 10:06:39 AM
You can overdose and live.  But more pertinent to your point, the hospital is definitely a much better place to start than a florist - even if the florist has an adrenaline shot and a girl with weird shiat in her face.

AND A FELT PEN!
 
2013-03-21 10:08:23 AM
Lance, answer the goddamn phone!
 
2013-03-21 10:09:17 AM
I gotta stab her three times?
 
2013-03-21 10:13:43 AM
Maybe he thought it was asbestos.
 
2013-03-21 10:15:14 AM
Is it just me or should there not be an apostrophe after OD?
 
2013-03-21 10:15:20 AM
Prank caller!  Prank caller!
 
2013-03-21 10:15:48 AM
Not sure why, but the headline made me giggle.
 
2013-03-21 10:20:16 AM

danielscissorhands: Is it just me or should there not be an apostrophe after OD?


Not just you.
 
2013-03-21 10:20:30 AM

danielscissorhands: Is it just me or should there not be an apostrophe after OD?


Both are considered acceptable generally, more style guides prefer no apostrophe but it isn't a situation where there is an absolute right or wrong way to do it.
 
2013-03-21 10:22:16 AM

lilbjorn: danielscissorhands: Is it just me or should there not be an apostrophe after OD?

Not just you.


xria: danielscissorhands: Is it just me or should there not be an apostrophe after OD?

Both are considered acceptable generally, more style guides prefer no apostrophe but it isn't a situation where there is an absolute right or wrong way to do it.


Hmm. But how could it be considered acceptable? Isn't it just wrong?
 
2013-03-21 10:25:16 AM
The florist's understatement is hilarious.  "It wasn't a very pleasant way to start the day."

So this guy has had worse days?  On the scale of the days he has had, finding a dead body only constitutes an unpleasantry?  I wonder what his worst day looked like.  "Dear Diary, had to gas another batch of orphaned toddlers this morning.  One's eyebrow was twitching as she clutched her doll, so I stomped her skull flat.  Life in the gulog, am I right?!"

And with that twisted of a personal history, no wonder he's a florist.  He was the guy giving flowers at the most inappropriate times.  "Oh, I'm sorry that your wife got sucked into a jet engine while running from the hostage takers.  I pick you this dandelion."  At least now this sick, emotionally ruined bastard can get his morbid satisfaction and earn some cash at the same time.  Florist, like crime scene clean-up technician, is one of those professions that chooses you, not the other way around.

From another article I see that the woman claims to have left the body at 5 AM.  The florist got to work at 6, but didn't report it until 9.  Sounds like somebody was stemming the rose.  He earned it, but talk about the frequent dragging miles the cadaver got within twelve hours of going cold.  He should get an upgraded pallet at the morgue.
 
2013-03-21 10:33:14 AM
I usually just throw them in a cold shower, unlock the doors, call the cops, THEN go to the florist and buy myself a tasteful arrangement.
 
2013-03-21 10:33:50 AM

spentmiles: From another article I see that the woman claims to have left the body at 5 AM. The florist got to work at 6, but didn't report it until 9. Sounds like somebody was stemming the rose. He earned it, but talk about the frequent dragging miles the cadaver got within twelve hours of going cold. He should get an upgraded pallet at the morgue.


FTA:
"An employee of the flower shop found the man in the vehicle about 9 a.m. Saturday and called police, authorities said. Troopers from the Red Lion station investigated and arrested James Saturday."

Wasn't the owner who found it. It was one of the other employees. Looking at the place on Google Maps, it's a fairly rural area, and a large site. If the owner parks around back, or at another end, a car elsewhere on the site probably wouldn't draw much attention.
 
2013-03-21 10:34:49 AM
You all are getting a good laugh out of this, but last year New Jersey Gov Crisco vetoed the Good Samaritan bill that would have prevented cops from arresting a person who called an ambulance for an OD victim.  http://www.nj.com/gloucester-county/index.ssf/2012/12/christie_veto_o f _good_samarita.html

Crisco is no different than the rest of his sick GOP buddies, he gets a boner from watching society's "undesirables" snuff it.   Well, I'm going to be doing the happy dance when he eventually flops over from a coronary at Chuck e Cheese.
 
2013-03-21 10:36:48 AM

spentmiles: The florist's understatement is hilarious.  "It wasn't a very pleasant way to start the day."

So this guy has had worse days?  On the scale of the days he has had, finding a dead body only constitutes an unpleasantry?  I wonder what his worst day looked like.  "Dear Diary, had to gas another batch of orphaned toddlers this morning.  One's eyebrow was twitching as she clutched her doll, so I stomped her skull flat.  Life in the gulog, am I right?!"

And with that twisted of a personal history, no wonder he's a florist.  He was the guy giving flowers at the most inappropriate times.  "Oh, I'm sorry that your wife got sucked into a jet engine while running from the hostage takers.  I pick you this dandelion."  At least now this sick, emotionally ruined bastard can get his morbid satisfaction and earn some cash at the same time.  Florist, like crime scene clean-up technician, is one of those professions that chooses you, not the other way around.

From another article I see that the woman claims to have left the body at 5 AM.  The florist got to work at 6, but didn't report it until 9.  Sounds like somebody was stemming the rose.  He earned it, but talk about the frequent dragging miles the cadaver got within twelve hours of going cold.  He should get an upgraded pallet at the morgue.


I think this may explain it..
 
2013-03-21 10:39:16 AM

Fissile: You all are getting a good laugh out of this, but last year New Jersey Gov Crisco vetoed the Good Samaritan bill that would have prevented cops from arresting a person who called an ambulance for an OD victim.  http://www.nj.com/gloucester-county/index.ssf/2012/12/christie_veto_o f _good_samarita.html

Crisco is no different than the rest of his sick GOP buddies, he gets a boner from watching society's "undesirables" snuff it.   Well, I'm going to be doing the happy dance when he eventually flops over from a coronary at Chuck e Cheese.


I've actually encountered this very problem. There is a lot of strange maneuvering involved to try to do the right thing. It's like arresting underage drinkers when they call for help with suspected alcohol poisoning.
 
2013-03-21 10:40:13 AM
This is one of those stories that make me just raise my eyebrows at how confused and panicky people can get when they are really high.

I mean...  It actually seemed like a reasonably good idea to simply leave a dead person in their car in the street.  That was more reasonable than, i dunno...  Calling the hospital?!
 
2013-03-21 10:40:53 AM

Misch: spentmiles: From another article I see that the woman claims to have left the body at 5 AM. The florist got to work at 6, but didn't report it until 9. Sounds like somebody was stemming the rose. He earned it, but talk about the frequent dragging miles the cadaver got within twelve hours of going cold. He should get an upgraded pallet at the morgue.

FTA:
"An employee of the flower shop found the man in the vehicle about 9 a.m. Saturday and called police, authorities said. Troopers from the Red Lion station investigated and arrested James Saturday."

Wasn't the owner who found it. It was one of the other employees. Looking at the place on Google Maps, it's a fairly rural area, and a large site. If the owner parks around back, or at another end, a car elsewhere on the site probably wouldn't draw much attention.


I totally missed that part of the article.  But yeah, makes sense that an employee found the corpse while the owner was busy parking on the other side of the building.  Thank you for keeping all the facts on the internet straight.  It makes cross referencing so much easier when I'm working on my doctoral thesis.
 
2013-03-21 10:46:35 AM
This sorta reminds me of an interesting story that I haven't thought of in quite some time...

One day, my wife and I went shopping, morning errands, etc...  There was some guy parked just up the street from our house.  We didn't think much of it until we got home over an hour later, and the dude was still there.

So, I went up to the car and knocked on the window.  His explanation was that he was having a tremendous diabetes low sugar moment and didn't trust himself driving.  So he simply pulled over where he was to wait it out.  I asked him if I should call someone for help, and he showed me his phone - he was already talking with his father.  So everything was apparently in order, and he really was just being responsible.


The point of this story is that sometimes you will see a car parked in a strange place for no apparent reason.  And sometimes that person really IS having a medical condition that was not self inflicted.  The secondary point is, don't be afraid to check it out.  You might actually be able to help someone.
 
2013-03-21 10:46:44 AM
Trippy!
 
2013-03-21 10:49:45 AM
Did you see a sign out in front of my shop that said "Dead Junkie Storage"?
 
2013-03-21 10:56:54 AM

megarian: Fissile: You all are getting a good laugh out of this, but last year New Jersey Gov Crisco vetoed the Good Samaritan bill that would have prevented cops from arresting a person who called an ambulance for an OD victim.  http://www.nj.com/gloucester-county/index.ssf/2012/12/christie_veto_o f _good_samarita.html

Crisco is no different than the rest of his sick GOP buddies, he gets a boner from watching society's "undesirables" snuff it.   Well, I'm going to be doing the happy dance when he eventually flops over from a coronary at Chuck e Cheese.

I've actually encountered this very problem. There is a lot of strange maneuvering involved to try to do the right thing. It's like arresting underage drinkers when they call for help with suspected alcohol poisoning.


===================

We now live in a twisted society that gets its jollies from mercilessly punishing people for petty transgressions, but makes heroes out of government murderers and Wall St conmen.
 
2013-03-21 11:07:08 AM
The proper technique is as follows:

1. Call your mother to tell them someone is OD'ing on your couch.

2. Your mother will tell you to call 911.

3. Call 911 and shout:

"This is Len Bias. You have to get him back to life. There's no way he can die."
 
2013-03-21 11:08:06 AM
 If she croaks on me, I'm a farkingreasespot!
 
2013-03-21 11:11:16 AM
t3.gstatic.com
What a lego reenactment might look like.

/The little cereal bowl is my favorite part.
 
2013-03-21 11:13:26 AM
This story sounds like a Lou Reed song.
 
2013-03-21 11:15:07 AM

Fissile: You all are getting a good laugh out of this, but last year New Jersey Gov Crisco vetoed the Good Samaritan bill that would have prevented cops from arresting a person who called an ambulance for an OD victim.  http://www.nj.com/gloucester-county/index.ssf/2012/12/christie_veto_o f _good_samarita.html

Crisco is no different than the rest of his sick GOP buddies, he gets a boner from watching society's "undesirables" snuff it.   Well, I'm going to be doing the happy dance when he eventually flops over from a coronary at Chuck e Cheese.


Or maybe Christie vetoed A578 not because he is an evil republican, but because of problems with the way the bill is written?  I haven't read the bill myself, and probably wouldn't understant all the leagal nuances, but it might be full  of loopholes and splippery slope presedents.
Like,  if you call an ambulance when your friend ODs, do you get to keep your dope?  If that's true,  then why not this:  You friend gets shot while you and he are robbing a liquor store.  You call the ambulance.  Do you get a free pass?
 
2013-03-21 11:15:49 AM
She's got the googly eyes.
apolloelementarypto.weebly.com
 
2013-03-21 11:17:14 AM

mitchcumstein1: I gotta stab her three times?


-No, you don't gotta farking stab her three times, you only gotta do it once, but it's gotta be hard enough to break through her breastplate into her heart, and then once you do that, you press down on the plunger.
-What happens after that?
-I'm kinda curious about that myself...
 
2013-03-21 11:17:59 AM

AugieDoggyDaddy: Fissile: You all are getting a good laugh out of this, but last year New Jersey Gov Crisco vetoed the Good Samaritan bill that would have prevented cops from arresting a person who called an ambulance for an OD victim.  http://www.nj.com/gloucester-county/index.ssf/2012/12/christie_veto_o f _good_samarita.html

Crisco is no different than the rest of his sick GOP buddies, he gets a boner from watching society's "undesirables" snuff it.   Well, I'm going to be doing the happy dance when he eventually flops over from a coronary at Chuck e Cheese.

Or maybe Christie vetoed A578 not because he is an evil republican, but because of problems with the way the bill is written?  I haven't read the bill myself, and probably wouldn't understant all the leagal nuances, but it might be full  of loopholes and splippery slope presedents.
Like,  if you call an ambulance when your friend ODs, do you get to keep your dope?  If that's true,  then why not this:  You friend gets shot while you and he are robbing a liquor store.  You call the ambulance.  Do you get a free pass?


===============

1/10 for the attempting trolling.  Wanna try again?
 
2013-03-21 11:20:34 AM

AugieDoggyDaddy: Fissile: You all are getting a good laugh out of this, but last year New Jersey Gov Crisco vetoed the Good Samaritan bill that would have prevented cops from arresting a person who called an ambulance for an OD victim.  http://www.nj.com/gloucester-county/index.ssf/2012/12/christie_veto_o f _good_samarita.html

Crisco is no different than the rest of his sick GOP buddies, he gets a boner from watching society's "undesirables" snuff it.   Well, I'm going to be doing the happy dance when he eventually flops over from a coronary at Chuck e Cheese.

Or maybe Christie vetoed A578 not because he is an evil republican, but because of problems with the way the bill is written?  I haven't read the bill myself, and probably wouldn't understant all the leagal nuances, but it might be full  of loopholes and splippery slope presedents.
Like,  if you call an ambulance when your friend ODs, do you get to keep your dope?  If that's true,  then why not this:  You friend gets shot while you and he are robbing a liquor store.  You call the ambulance.  Do you get a free pass?


Meh! when has nuance ever been lost on Farkers?
 
2013-03-21 11:22:48 AM

spentmiles: The florist's understatement is hilarious. "It wasn't a very pleasant way to start the day."

So this guy has had worse days?


www.chamberofreviews.com

Well he could have come home to find his dead mother sitting on the porch.
 
2013-03-21 11:23:01 AM
You know, i could understand your unwillingness to contact police due to your heroin use, but to stuff the poor bastard in a car in a parking lot is just farked up. Everyone knows you drive up to the emergency room and roll him out the car door and take off.

/amateur, you're doing it wrong.
 
2013-03-21 11:26:46 AM
I see that Fissle is bringing the derp, and bringing it hard, this morning.
 
2013-03-21 11:34:43 AM
Looks like she's been skull-farked all night.  But not bad for a mugshot.

bloximages.newyork1.vip.townnews.com
 
2013-03-21 11:42:35 AM

AugieDoggyDaddy: Or maybe Christie vetoed A578 not because he is an evil republican, but because of problems with the way the bill is written? I haven't read the bill myself, and probably wouldn't understant all the leagal nuances, but it might be full of loopholes and splippery slope presedents.
Like, if you call an ambulance when your friend ODs, do you get to keep your dope? If that's true, then why not this: You friend gets shot while you and he are robbing a liquor store. You call the ambulance. Do you get a free pass?



No, it only covered drug overdoses. New Jersey already has a similar law for alcohol poisoning.

In place of the bill (A578), the governor recommended the Legislature agree to direct the state Division of Criminal Justice to study drug overdose reporting and to provide his administration and lawmakers with a recommendation on a comprehensive approach to the problem.

The governor's office declined further comment.

Sen. Joseph Vitale (D-Middlesex), a primary sponsor of the bill, said Christie was stalling.

"All this does is kick the can down the road," Vitale said. "While I appreciate the fact that the governor wants to be supportive and helpful, we've had a series of conversations with the Attorney General's Office and they weren't able to articulate a position that made any sense."
 
2013-03-21 11:44:42 AM

Why Would I Read the Article: I see that Fissle is bringing the derp, and bringing it hard, this morning.


The derp? Fissle bringing facts. Maybe not articulated in a positive manner, but he's bringing facts.
 
2013-03-21 11:52:52 AM

Misch: The derp? Fissle bringing facts. Maybe not articulated in a positive manner, but he's bringing facts.

"We now live in a twisted society that gets its jollies from mercilessly punishing people for petty transgressions, but makes heroes out of government murderers and Wall St conmen."


So that's a "fact," huh? And it's a "fact" that Christie gets boners from watching drug addicts die? I'm not sure you actually know the definition of the word fact, but that's ok because you're on fark and facts and providing evidence for your claims aren't important here.
 
2013-03-21 12:26:14 PM

Why Would I Read the Article: Misch: The derp? Fissle bringing facts. Maybe not articulated in a positive manner, but he's bringing facts.

"We now live in a twisted society that gets its jollies from mercilessly punishing people for petty transgressions, but makes heroes out of government murderers and Wall St conmen."

So that's a "fact," huh? And it's a "fact" that Christie gets boners from watching drug addicts die? I'm not sure you actually know the definition of the word fact, but that's ok because you're on fark and facts and providing evidence for your claims aren't important here.


====================

So you think Gov Crisco isn't an ideological zealot?   He's now contemplating a veto on a bill that declares "gay conversion therapy" as pseudo-scientific quackery.   http://www.nj.com/politics/index.ssf/2013/03/christie_undecided_on_ba n _of_c.html#incart_river_default

I'm gonna guess his next move will be forcing schools to teach children that the earth is flat.
 
2013-03-21 12:38:38 PM

spentmiles: The florist's understatement is hilarious.  "It wasn't a very pleasant way to start the day."

So this guy has had worse days?  On the scale of the days he has had, finding a dead body only constitutes an unpleasantry?  I wonder what his worst day looked like.  "Dear Diary, had to gas another batch of orphaned toddlers this morning.  One's eyebrow was twitching as she clutched her doll, so I stomped her skull flat.  Life in the gulog, am I right?!"

And with that twisted of a personal history, no wonder he's a florist.  He was the guy giving flowers at the most inappropriate times.  "Oh, I'm sorry that your wife got sucked into a jet engine while running from the hostage takers.  I pick you this dandelion."  At least now this sick, emotionally ruined bastard can get his morbid satisfaction and earn some cash at the same time.  Florist, like crime scene clean-up technician, is one of those professions that chooses you, not the other way around.

From another article I see that the woman claims to have left the body at 5 AM.  The florist got to work at 6, but didn't report it until 9.  Sounds like somebody was stemming the rose.  He earned it, but talk about the frequent dragging miles the cadaver got within twelve hours of going cold.  He should get an upgraded pallet at the morgue.


Owner or employee, that florist is one sick farker, no wonder he didn't want to be identified.
 
2013-03-21 12:48:06 PM

spentmiles: The florist's understatement is hilarious.  "It wasn't a very pleasant way to start the day."



There was a legendary, ancient pawn shop whose owner was finally going out of business. Some reporter asked him "You must have some fascinating stories to tel. Could you share one?"

"Well, there was this time the son of a famous soul food restaurant came in and asked to look at a circular saw. We plugged it in to show it ran well. He picked it up, turned it on and jammed it into his neck. You mean, stories like that?"

That incident had happened about 20 years or more before the interview. Now THAT was an unpleasant retail experience.
 
2013-03-21 01:01:02 PM
bloximages.newyork1.vip.townnews.com

what a farked up poo-butt might look like
 
2013-03-21 01:07:01 PM

Loose Spoons: This story sounds like a Lou Reed song.


I blame Danny Boyle.
 
2013-03-21 01:14:38 PM

TheGogmagog: spentmiles: The florist's understatement is hilarious.  "It wasn't a very pleasant way to start the day."

So this guy has had worse days?  On the scale of the days he has had, finding a dead body only constitutes an unpleasantry?  I wonder what his worst day looked like.  "Dear Diary, had to gas another batch of orphaned toddlers this morning.  One's eyebrow was twitching as she clutched her doll, so I stomped her skull flat.  Life in the gulog, am I right?!"

And with that twisted of a personal history, no wonder he's a florist.  He was the guy giving flowers at the most inappropriate times.  "Oh, I'm sorry that your wife got sucked into a jet engine while running from the hostage takers.  I pick you this dandelion."  At least now this sick, emotionally ruined bastard can get his morbid satisfaction and earn some cash at the same time.  Florist, like crime scene clean-up technician, is one of those professions that chooses you, not the other way around.

From another article I see that the woman claims to have left the body at 5 AM.  The florist got to work at 6, but didn't report it until 9.  Sounds like somebody was stemming the rose.  He earned it, but talk about the frequent dragging miles the cadaver got within twelve hours of going cold.  He should get an upgraded pallet at the morgue.

Owner or employee, that florist is one sick farker, no wonder he didn't want to be identified.


static.tvfanatic.com
 
2013-03-21 01:36:34 PM
Just found out the sis-in-law has already od'd at least once on heroin and meth, so not really getting a kick. Family is distraught over it.

I dont mind pot, but this stuff is ridiculous.

/you know the Book of Job in the Bible? That's my life. Ffs.
 
2013-03-21 02:51:56 PM

Fissile: AugieDoggyDaddy: Fissile: You all are getting a good laugh out of this, but last year New Jersey Gov Crisco vetoed the Good Samaritan bill that would have prevented cops from arresting a person who called an ambulance for an OD victim.  http://www.nj.com/gloucester-county/index.ssf/2012/12/christie_veto_o f _good_samarita.html

Crisco is no different than the rest of his sick GOP buddies, he gets a boner from watching society's "undesirables" snuff it.   Well, I'm going to be doing the happy dance when he eventually flops over from a coronary at Chuck e Cheese.

Or maybe Christie vetoed A578 not because he is an evil republican, but because of problems with the way the bill is written?  I haven't read the bill myself, and probably wouldn't understant all the leagal nuances, but it might be full  of loopholes and splippery slope presedents.
Like,  if you call an ambulance when your friend ODs, do you get to keep your dope?  If that's true,  then why not this:  You friend gets shot while you and he are robbing a liquor store.  You call the ambulance.  Do you get a free pass?

===============

1/10 for the attempting trolling.  Wanna try again?


==========

I don't see how my comment is trolling.    Is it because I refered to Gov Christie with out pointing out that he is fat?
 
2013-03-21 03:01:04 PM
There will be hell to pay if any of your Farkers bring a F'd up poohbah to my house!
 
2013-03-21 03:32:00 PM

Misch: AugieDoggyDaddy: Or maybe Christie vetoed A578 not because he is an evil republican, but because of problems with the way the bill is written? I haven't read the bill myself, and probably wouldn't understant all the leagal nuances, but it might be full of loopholes and splippery slope presedents.
Like, if you call an ambulance when your friend ODs, do you get to keep your dope? If that's true, then why not this: You friend gets shot while you and he are robbing a liquor store. You call the ambulance. Do you get a free pass?


No, it only covered drug overdoses. New Jersey already has a similar law for alcohol poisoning.

In place of the bill (A578), the governor recommended the Legislature agree to direct the state Division of Criminal Justice to study drug overdose reporting and to provide his administration and lawmakers with a recommendation on a comprehensive approach to the problem.

The governor's office declined further comment.

Sen. Joseph Vitale (D-Middlesex), a primary sponsor of the bill, said Christie was stalling.

"All this does is kick the can down the road," Vitale said. "While I appreciate the fact that the governor wants to be supportive and helpful, we've had a series of conversations with the Attorney General's Office and they weren't able to articulate a position that made any sense."


Your right,  it only covers drug ODs.   It says you won't get arrested/prosecuted for posession.  So,  does that mean posession of one hit of smack?  I'm OK with that.  What about an ounce?  Does the word "possesion"  define the amount?  What about "possesion with intent to distribute".
 
2013-03-21 03:54:55 PM
This story sounds like a Lou Reed song.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkG9BKgDvNIskip to 5:00
 
2013-03-22 01:49:13 AM
"It wasn't a very pleasant way to start the day."

In retrospect, the florist is probably re-thinking the move to name the flower shop "Dead Junkie Storage" as the sign might be misleading.
 
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