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(Philly.com)   Turtle study shows that once again, humans are dicks   (philly.com) divider line 52
    More: Sad, Boy Scouts, dominant species  
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6997 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Mar 2013 at 7:15 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-21 03:29:27 AM
"I think most animal lovers would end up in a ditch rather than strike a critter in the road."

Er, no.  I'll brake, stop, or swerve to the shoulder, but I'm not risking my life for any critter.

"Nathan Weaver put a realistic rubber turtle in the middle of a lane on a busy road near the campus of the South Carolina school."

Well, that will skew your results.

"Herzog asked a class of 110 students whether they had intentionally run over a turtle, or been in a car with someone who did. Thirty-four students raised their hands, about two-thirds of them male."

Uh-huh.

Repeat the experiment elsewhere.  Document characteristics of all drivers.  Then analyze who runs over turtles and who doesn't.
 
2013-03-21 04:02:30 AM
Personally, I think we should just have a land mine in the rubber turtle. Nothing of value would be lost.
 
2013-03-21 05:31:28 AM
Why would anyone run something over deliberately? I'd imagine big things like animals, with sharp shells, bones and teeth, might potentially cause a puncture. Why risk it?

There's nowt as queer as folk.
 
2013-03-21 06:24:16 AM
Eh, humans are scum.

They'd probably get the same result with a realistic-looking fake baby in the road. Or, hell, a real baby.
 
2013-03-21 07:18:50 AM
What if you put a congressperson in the road...
fatality 100%
 
2013-03-21 07:18:50 AM
i2.photobucket.com

What do you mean, I'm not helping?
 
2013-03-21 07:19:02 AM
That's not sad. That's sick. I can understand people not wanting to risk their own lives for the sake of an animal, but running it over deliberately?
 
2013-03-21 07:23:26 AM
It's all a shell game.
 
2013-03-21 07:24:24 AM
Maybe all those drivers were replicants
 
2013-03-21 07:24:43 AM
I somehow can't see "turtle underpasses" as a viable solution.

Unless there's some kind of turtle-education program put into place or something.
 
2013-03-21 07:27:23 AM
There is a very satisfying crunch when you catch the turtle just right and the shell splits and the turtle is flung, spinning like a frisbee into the bushes on the side of the road.
 
2013-03-21 07:28:57 AM
From the University of NSS.

I'll do whatever I can to avoid running over any animal, even snakes.  I have to keep the car on the road and if it comes down to me or them, it's them.

If you itentionally try to run over one, you are a colossal d!ck.
 
2013-03-21 07:32:32 AM
In all fairness, how do we know those drivers swerved to hit that turtle?  Maybe they were just swerving to miss and timed it wrong.  It happens to me all the time.
 
2013-03-21 07:33:01 AM

markfara: I somehow can't see "turtle underpasses" as a viable solution.

Unless there's some kind of turtle-education program put into place or something.


Actually they do work; what is done is a low fence is placed along the road that directs the turtles to the crossing (usually just a small non-drainage pipe, about 15" in diameter). The turtles find the fence and crawl along it until they get to the pipe. In areas where there are a lot of turtles, these pipes go in every couple of hundred feet.

I've stopped numerous times to help turtles across a road, but only if it is safe to do so. One of them was a big irate snapping turtle; after seeing she wasn't too interested in my help, I just watched her crawl unassisted across the almost deserted two lane road.

It's not just turtles, though; last summer after a very strong thunderstorm in eastern NC, we were driving home from a meeting at night and there were hundreds of big frogs leaping across the highway we were driving down. My assistant was freaking out because there was no way to miss all of them, and some of them were leaping high enough to be struck by the vehicle's grill (we could hear the impact). The parade of frogs continued along several miles of this road; I guess the sudden rainstorm cooled the frogs off enough that they wanted to get on the pavement to warm back up.
 
2013-03-21 07:38:31 AM
I would only swerve to hit wasps.

But they're too small snd I usually miss them and hit children instead so it's really not worth it....
 
2013-03-21 07:43:48 AM
I generally try to avoid animals, especially turtles.  Sometimes pieces of their shell will cut your tire.  However, I do kill any of the tarpins that I find in my garden.  Dirty SOB's eat my tomatoes.

Around here, I've seen people stop and pick up large live snapping turtles out of the road.  I suspect a cooking pot would soon be in the turtles future.
 
2013-03-21 07:53:12 AM
Sometimes they're asses, not dicks.

1.bp.blogspot.com

/hotlinked
 
2013-03-21 07:57:36 AM
"I think most animal lovers would end up in a ditch rather than strike a critter in the road."

Really? You're going to destroy your car and possibly injure yourself just to miss a stray cat in the road? (Which will probably get squished by the car behind you anyway.) Another person, yes, but the only time I'd do that is for an animal is if it's big enough to do more damage than the ditch.
 
2013-03-21 08:03:35 AM
I am not going to do anything erratic (at least tot he driver behind me or in oncoming traffic) to avoid one, but I am also not going to try and hit them.
 
2013-03-21 08:05:19 AM
Drivers ed we're taught to roll over a critter rather than slamming on breaks or swErving and cause damage and death to other drivers.

Rules of the road hippy. Don't like it then don't drive.
 
2013-03-21 08:05:41 AM

Slaxl: Why would anyone run something over deliberately? I'd imagine big things like animals, with sharp shells, bones and teeth, might potentially cause a puncture. Why risk it?


This brought to my mind the image of a squirrel with it's little teeth stuck into my tire circling around with its tail fluttering.

/Stops for turtles, put them on other side on their way
//Last was this big snapper, sort of just waited for him to get to the side
 
2013-03-21 08:08:25 AM
Dont be silly, I only intentionally hit cute animals like kittens and puppies
 
2013-03-21 08:13:19 AM
I have seen people intentionally run over turtles that I've pulled over to try to save (where it's safe to do so) right in front of me. This has happened more than once. Those idiots, often the only other car on the road, have swerved to hit them. Ridiculous.
 
2013-03-21 08:13:30 AM
It's near Clemson. I'm not surprised. There isn't anything else to do.
 
2013-03-21 08:14:02 AM
POSTED: Friday, December 28, 2012, 9:46 AM

/old news is old
 
2013-03-21 08:21:59 AM

slepygryhnd: I have seen people intentionally run over turtles that I've pulled over to try to save (where it's safe to do so) right in front of me. This has happened more than once. Those idiots, often the only other car on the road, have swerved to hit them. Ridiculous.


And they are the idiots?
 
2013-03-21 08:27:33 AM

slepygryhnd: I have seen people intentionally run over turtles that I've pulled over to try to save (where it's safe to do so) right in front of me. This has happened more than once. Those idiots, often the only other car on the road, have swerved to hit them. Ridiculous.


I am going to amend my last statement.

If someoen is farking around ont he road messing with a turtle, if I can safely hit it, I will.
 
2013-03-21 08:37:56 AM

Dadoody: ...on breaks or swErving and

...

You're on the toilet, aren't you?  ;-)
 
2013-03-21 08:57:50 AM

doglover: Personally, I think we should just have a land mine in the rubber turtle. Nothing of value would be lost.


Came here to say this.  It would be a great way to rid the population of quite a few assholes.  Just need to figure out a way for the mine to not be triggered for people like me, who would stop to help the turtle cross...
 
2013-03-21 09:10:26 AM

CheekyMonkey: doglover: Personally, I think we should just have a land mine in the rubber turtle. Nothing of value would be lost.

Came here to say this.  It would be a great way to rid the population of quite a few assholes.   Just need to figure out a way for the mine to not be triggered for people like me, who would stop to help the turtle cross...


FTFY
 
2013-03-21 09:34:31 AM
www.mariowiki.com
 
2013-03-21 09:56:17 AM
Veteran researchers were  not surprised, citing "The Great Santini" complex: the need for humans to prove they are the dominant species.

What unstable monkeys we are.

It reminds me of how certain political groups insist on gift-giving even when there's no money for it.
 
2013-03-21 09:56:58 AM
Speaking as a Clemson alum, many of the young men I knew there considered running over small wildlife to be rather sporting.
 
2013-03-21 10:01:23 AM
Fark Fact: In The Grapes of Wrath (1939) John Steinbeck uses an account of a turtle's struggle to climb up an embankment toward a highway, only to be struck intentionally by a motorist, as a metaphor for the thousands of Okies who attempt to escape the Great Depression.
 
2013-03-21 10:30:41 AM
As an animal lover, I must say, they people should be hung by their genitalia for wasting good food.

I HATE food wasters.
 
2013-03-21 10:45:48 AM

sodomizer: Veteran researchers were  not surprised, citing "The Great Santini" complex: the need for humans to prove they are the dominant species.

What unstable monkeys we are.

It reminds me of how certain political groups insist on gift-giving even when there's no money for it.



Exactly HOW big a p*ssy do you have to be to feed the need to prove your dominance over a farking turtle?!  In a motor vehicle, no less.

/Jeebus!  What losers.
 
2013-03-21 11:10:10 AM
I have seen this firsthand near my parents' cottage in mid-Michigan.  We were traveling behind a pickup that deliberately hit a couple turtles on the road.  Horrified, my sister and I put them in a box and transported them to the lake they were trying to get to (on the other side of the road.

I'm not going to kill myself to avoid hitting an animal, but I'm certainly not going to TRY an hit an animal.  That's pure asshattery.
 
2013-03-21 11:20:53 AM
My driver's ed teacher told a story about a penile-impaired gentleman who compensated with a big 4x4 with huge tires.  When he swerved to intentionally hit a turtle in the road, it was crushed in just such a way that the shell sliced into his tire, giving him a flat.  I kinda doubt it was true, but I really hope it was.
 
2013-03-21 11:23:32 AM
Oh yeah, that same teacher made it a point to let us know that any animal we hit & kill is legally ours to take home and eat.

i.qkme.me
 
2013-03-21 11:26:33 AM

Cold_Sassy: sodomizer: Veteran researchers were  not surprised, citing "The Great Santini" complex: the need for humans to prove they are the dominant species.

What unstable monkeys we are.

It reminds me of how certain political groups insist on gift-giving even when there's no money for it.


Exactly HOW big a p*ssy do you have to be to feed the need to prove your dominance over a farking turtle?!  In a motor vehicle, no less.

/Jeebus!  What losers.


Stick around long enough or visit the politics tab once and you'll learn to put him on ignore... he shiats D vs R and L vs C onto every thread he visits... throw him on ignore and move on...
 
2013-03-21 11:29:56 AM

I Ate Shergar: That's not sad. That's sick. I can understand people not wanting to risk their own lives for the sake of an animal, but running it over deliberately?


I once saw some shiatbird deliberately swerve onto the shoulder to run over a weasel or a ferret or some fuzzy critter like that. It was a group of teenagers in a church van.
 
2013-03-21 11:36:43 AM

CeroX: Cold_Sassy: sodomizer: Veteran researchers were  not surprised, citing "The Great Santini" complex: the need for humans to prove they are the dominant species.

What unstable monkeys we are.

It reminds me of how certain political groups insist on gift-giving even when there's no money for it.


Exactly HOW big a p*ssy do you have to be to feed the need to prove your dominance over a farking turtle?!  In a motor vehicle, no less.

/Jeebus!  What losers.

Stick around long enough or visit the politics tab once and you'll learn to put him on ignore... he shiats D vs R and L vs C onto every thread he visits... throw him on ignore and move on...


Ugh, Gawd.  Thank you so much :)
 
2013-03-21 12:11:35 PM

crowbar032: I generally try to avoid animals, especially turtles.  Sometimes pieces of their shell will cut your tire.  However, I do kill any of the tarpins that I find in my garden.  Dirty SOB's eat my tomatoes.


tarpon
mw2.google.com
terrapin
upload.wikimedia.org
tarpin?

/pedantic
 
2013-03-21 12:39:54 PM
Article does not mention target fixation as a potential contributor, only human darkness.
 
2013-03-21 12:50:46 PM
I'm not sure about the value of "turtle underpasses" - those guys are the orneriest and stubbornest dicks in the animal kingdom - but larger wildlife underpasses have shown to lower roadkill deaths anywhere from 30% to 80% in the greater Los Angeles area, a big deal with some endangered species there. Plus the benefit of not having deer in the middle of your road at 3 am.
 
2013-03-21 01:42:44 PM
slayer199: I have seen this firsthand near my parents' cottage in mid-Michigan.  We were traveling behind a pickup that deliberately hit a couple turtles on the road.  Horrified, my sister and I put them in a box and transported them to the lake they were trying to get to (on the other side of the road.

I'm not going to kill myself to avoid hitting an animal, but I'm certainly not going to TRY an hit an animal.  That's pure asshattery.


Yeah, I'm not gonna wrap myself around a telephone pole or get rear ended to avoid an animal (although i'll brake if there is nothing behind me and swerve if I can do so without leaving the roadway)  but there is no way in hell I'm gonna run over one on purpose. That just has all kinds of bad Karma written all over it.
 
2013-03-21 02:38:24 PM
Saddened but can't say I'm too shocked, we are after all talking about an animal that a good portion doesn't even have empathy for their own species, little alone another.
 
2013-03-21 03:47:32 PM

FirstNationalBastard: Eh, humans are scum.

They'd probably get the same result with a realistic-looking fake baby in the road. Or, hell, a real baby.


www.moviefancentral.com

Would like a few words with those drivers...

/I can't find the more appropriate image of the baby lying in the road with the car barrelling towards it...
 
2013-03-21 08:03:09 PM
This article gives me teh sad.  I am the happy owner of a Red Eared Slider-very, very common species and easy to care for, and I love him more than any of the dogs or cats in my house.  He's "happy" to see me every night, I think mainly because he knows it's feeding time and seems to recognize different people, at least 3 by last count.  Yeah, ok, I can't pet him but he listens really, really well when I've had either a bad or good day, doesn't bark and never complains.  I'd be crushed (pun intended) if anything ever happened to dear old Henry.  He's aquatic so he's never left out to roam, thank goodness seeing as how you can't teach a turtle to heel or take them to obedience classes.

/in my job, I saw a pet turtle left to roast/starve on a stove once, I cried for a bit after seeing that shiat
//turtles aren't dogs, they're just way better IMHO
 
2013-03-21 08:18:53 PM

doglover: Personally, I think we should just have a land mine in the rubber turtle. Nothing of value would be lost.


Yes, this. Thanks for the smile, I needed it after this article and the PLT.
 
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