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(Daily Mail)   When you rent your mansion out for reality TV, make sure it isn't for an x-rated show that leaves permanent semen stains on the couch   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 83
    More: Interesting, sex parties, online  
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14808 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Mar 2013 at 8:30 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-20 08:14:20 PM  
At least they didn't plaster the ceiling with knuckle children.
 
2013-03-20 08:32:08 PM  
Why not?  It'd fit right in with the the semen stains on the ceiling.
 
2013-03-20 08:32:09 PM  
eeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww
 
2013-03-20 08:32:44 PM  
I apologize I will have your couch cleaned.
 
2013-03-20 08:34:36 PM  
Permanent?
 
2013-03-20 08:34:41 PM  
Nope, only the ones that leave temporary semen stains.
 
2013-03-20 08:35:03 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
TFA didn't say it was human semen...
 
Skr
2013-03-20 08:35:10 PM  
They haven't checked the curtains yet... probably
 
2013-03-20 08:35:32 PM  
just turn the cushion over, people. sheesh.
 
2013-03-20 08:39:31 PM  
i291.photobucket.com

It's like a Jackson Pollock painting
 
2013-03-20 08:40:46 PM  
Is this why we can't have nice things?
 
2013-03-20 08:41:54 PM  
Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?
 
2013-03-20 08:43:51 PM  
If you think the sofa was bad, wait until Fluffy finally decides to come out of hiding.
 
2013-03-20 08:45:09 PM  
Should have paid their White Castle tab.

/"love stains"
 
2013-03-20 08:46:37 PM  
Buy 'em a new couch, give 'em a dozen copies of the movie and call it even.
 
2013-03-20 08:47:38 PM  
I'm so sorry. They told me it was a foreclosure and that I could just shoot anywhere.
 
2013-03-20 08:48:21 PM  
No.  I said, "Get off the couch"
 
2013-03-20 08:49:24 PM  

tricycleracer: I'm so sorry. They told me it was a foreclosure and that I could just shoot anywhere.


You, sir, are a steely-eyed missle man.
+1
 
2013-03-20 08:49:39 PM  
El Cunado strikes again.
 
2013-03-20 08:49:42 PM  
The cushions were memory foam, they simply don't forget a thing like that.
 
2013-03-20 08:51:57 PM  
I think that Thurston Howell III is their neighbor.
 
2013-03-20 08:56:01 PM  

Thanks for the Meme-ries: [i291.photobucket.com image 640x480]

It's like a Jackson Pollock painting


More like this, probably.
 
2013-03-20 08:56:19 PM  
when providing a furnished rental property, one is renting the property and its contents. the expectations is to leave the place as you found it.. other wise you are most likely in violation of your rental contract.

in other words.. if you stain the couch with wine, beer, splooge, spunk, shiat or piss, what have you.. be prepared to clean up after yourselves or be issued a lien on your deposit and be made responsible for the clean up bill.
 
2013-03-20 08:57:58 PM  
I would care less if the place was used for a porn shoot as long as the check didn't bounce and you cleaned up after yourself
 
2013-03-20 08:57:59 PM  
I guess they won't get their 'deposit' back.
 
2013-03-20 08:59:08 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-03-20 08:59:23 PM  
You "Fark: After Dark" guys are way more fun than the work-shift squad.
 
2013-03-20 09:01:01 PM  
They told me I was there to redecorate and to use my imagination.
 
2013-03-20 09:02:56 PM  
I guess everyone's mouth must've been full at the time.
 
2013-03-20 09:03:31 PM  
Threads like this are hard to come clean.
 
2013-03-20 09:07:42 PM  

Cerebral Knievel: I would care less if the place was used for a porn shoot as long as the check didn't bounce and you cleaned up after yourself


Town permit for a "mass gathering," security checking IDs, 50 cars... that's a bit more than your average porn shoot.  Sounds like a College Farkfest shoot.
 
2013-03-20 09:08:13 PM  
Waaaah! I own a mansion but can't afford a new couch. Waaaah!
 
2013-03-20 09:09:20 PM  
Vice Energy LLC rented the place. What did they think was going to happen there.

I completely understand them wanting money for repairs and stained furniture, but act all innocent and shocked about what was being filmed there when a company named Vice Energy is renting from you.
 
2013-03-20 09:09:43 PM  
"East Hampton Rental" turns up nothing on the pornhub search.  Oh well, guess I'll watch Gianna bang another power forward.
 
2013-03-20 09:12:51 PM  
Their couch may be ruined, but at least they got a love seat out of the deal.
 
2013-03-20 09:18:43 PM  

brimed03: Should have paid their White Castle tab.

/"love stains"


It was a dick move.
 
2013-03-20 09:20:15 PM  
$20,000 in damages, $19,998 of them more lemon pledge.

fc03.deviantart.net
 
2013-03-20 09:31:56 PM  
In before randy marsh at computer.
 
2013-03-20 09:43:40 PM  

ongbok: Vice Energy LLC rented the place. What did they think was going to happen there.

I completely understand them wanting money for repairs and stained furniture, but act all innocent and shocked about what was being filmed there when a company named Vice Energy is renting from you.


Uhhhhh   http://vice-energy.com/


Hey, It looks legit, but yea, perhaps in hind sight "vice" could have been a tip off, but only a delusionaly paranoid person would halt the rental just off of that.
 
2013-03-20 09:46:09 PM  
Subby, RTFA, it said there were sperm stains, not semen stains

Although semen is the technically correct term regarding what was umm, spilt on the couch.

But sperm is more fun to say

sperm!
 
2013-03-20 09:50:35 PM  
www.zuguide.com
Look at that couch... whats that look like, that stain?
I dunno... Cinnamon roll?
Cinnamon roll? the cinnamon, the roll of the cinnamon. That looks like jizz... ya Eastern European jizz, that looks like some farkhead shot his load on a 12000 dollar calf's skin couch. The twist? Its my 12000 dollar calf's skin couch. So ya got the semen, ok you got the human ejaculate that's been allowed to soak in for like seven hours alright. Work its way into the fabric farkin fibers...
If you like I send out?
To what? Incinerate? Hugo there isn't a farkin laundry detergent or dry cleaning product known to man that will get that clean. Some shiat, suffice it to say, just don't wash out.
 
2013-03-20 09:55:19 PM  
Calling coktor Andre nosdick...
 
2013-03-20 09:57:14 PM  
House in the Hamptons != mansion

/probably costs the same though
 
2013-03-20 09:57:44 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: Cerebral Knievel: I would care less if the place was used for a porn shoot as long as the check didn't bounce and you cleaned up after yourself

Town permit for a "mass gathering," security checking IDs, 50 cars... that's a bit more than your average porn shoot.  Sounds like a College Farkfest shoot.


yeah, I aint renting any of my places out for that shiat. and if I am the deposit is 25$ of the market value for the place
 
2013-03-20 09:59:02 PM  

beerrun: [www.zuguide.com image 219x138]
Look at that couch... whats that look like, that stain?
I dunno... Cinnamon roll?
Cinnamon roll? the cinnamon, the roll of the cinnamon. That looks like jizz... ya Eastern European jizz, that looks like some farkhead shot his load on a 12000 dollar calf's skin couch. The twist? Its my 12000 dollar calf's skin couch. So ya got the semen, ok you got the human ejaculate that's been allowed to soak in for like seven hours alright. Work its way into the fabric farkin fibers...
If you like I send out?
To what? Incinerate? Hugo there isn't a farkin laundry detergent or dry cleaning product known to man that will get that clean. Some shiat, suffice it to say, just don't wash out.


great movie!
 
2013-03-20 10:01:03 PM  

Jeng: ongbok: Vice Energy LLC rented the place. What did they think was going to happen there.

I completely understand them wanting money for repairs and stained furniture, but act all innocent and shocked about what was being filmed there when a company named Vice Energy is renting from you.

Uhhhhh   http://vice-energy.com/


Hey, It looks legit, but yea, perhaps in hind sight "vice" could have been a tip off, but only a delusionaly paranoid person would halt the rental just off of that.


According to the gothaist it was this division that did the damage,

so ewww dudebro ejaculate
 
2013-03-20 10:01:42 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: Cerebral Knievel: I would care less if the place was used for a porn shoot as long as the check didn't bounce and you cleaned up after yourself

Town permit for a "mass gathering," security checking IDs, 50 cars... that's a bit more than your average porn shoot.  Sounds like a College Farkfest shoot.


Holy Crap! I haven't been on Fark too long... is that.... is that a thing they do here?! There are College Farkfest  shoots?!!! I'm sending Drew $5 RIGHT NOW, do I actually need to re enroll in college, 'cuz I would totally write another term paper or two if need be.
 
2013-03-20 10:05:01 PM  
Anybody want to see the invite?

pixel.nymag.com

Updated  Daily Fail article with a lot more pics...

Your welcome.
 
2013-03-20 10:09:25 PM  
Some anonymous donor...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDmFzriTCPE">http://www.youtube.com/w atch?v=WDmFzriTCPE
 
2013-03-20 10:11:32 PM  
                     They just needed the Wolf.

                                 THE WOLF

                         - let me ask you a question, if you
                         don't mind?
                                     JIMMIE
                         Sure.
                                     THE WOLF
                         Were you Uncle Conrad and Aunt Ginny
                         millionaires?
                                     JIMMIE
                         No.
                                     THE WOLF
                         Well, your Uncle Marsellus is. And
                         I'm positive if Uncle Conrad and
                         Aunt Ginny were millionaires, they
                         would've furnished you with a whole
                         bedroom set, which your Uncle
                         Marsellus is more than happy to do.
                              (takes out a roll of
                              bills)
                         I like oak myself, that's what's in
                         my bedroom. How 'bout you Jimmie,
                         you an oak man?
                                     JIMMIE
                         Oak's nice.
 
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