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(The Daily Beast)   The verdict is in: courting the hipster "creative class" only serves to improve the lives of hipsters themselves. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to be at the artisanal cheese chop in 26 minutes   (thedailybeast.com) divider line 18
    More: Interesting, Richard Florida, Joel Kotkin, Alec MacGillis, bike paths, metropolitan areas by population, Raleigh-Durham, mid-life crises, Jennifer Granholm  
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7225 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Mar 2013 at 5:43 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-03-20 06:17:15 PM
6 votes:
I discovered one day that I liked the coffee from the cheerful little indie shop where everyone is friendly and the coffee is marked with which faraway land it came from better than Office Folgers.

I started to worry, thinking that I was turning into a hipster, and then I remembered how the cheerful little indie shop employees will also make you a nice sandwich if you forgot your lunch, remember your name and preferences, plus if you like the music that's playing, they'll tell you who it's by and from which album so you can get it, not scorn you into the middle of next week for not knowing it. So I went back and asked the barista.

"Chris," I said, because his name is Chris and we've discussed stuff before, "does coming here make me a hipster?"

"I don't think so," Chris replied. "I think everyone is a hipster of something. Even your tax accountant probably has opinions on which software and deductions are the best ones and biatches about how the Earned Income Tax Credit was cooler before everyone started claiming it." I laughed, because I could totally picture Bob the Tax Accountant saying exactly that. "This place is not so much a hipster establishment as a place where people come to be reassured of what, exactly, their hipster specification is and thus restore self-esteem."

"So if everyone is a hipster...I must not be that bad."

"I d'know, Spidey. Wearing a Steely Dan t-shirt after 1973 is pretty awful."

"But it goes with my Nyan Cat scarf."

"That's another thing. You own a Nyan Cat scarf, and I notice that your Chuck Taylors have Tetris blocks painted on them."

"...Which also go with the Nyan Cat scarf," I sighed, looking sadly at my Bag of Holding with the 20d on the zipper pull.

"You come here on days that you work, don't you? These are your office clothes."

"Yep," I agreed, feeling very sad.

"...I think you may actually not be a hipster. You have gone so far into hipster territory that it looped around into normal. Where do you even work?" I then gave him the business card of the tech-support place. "Oh. I see. You are actually a tremendous geek who uses hipster plumage to conceal your actual self. That makes you a Stealth Hipster."

"Is that better, then?"

"You're two Decemberists concert tickets away from actual coolness. Also, here is your coffee and sandwich."

"Thank you, Chris. I appreciate the identity alignment."

"De nada, Spidey. See you tomorrow."

And as I left, I heard Chris the Barista confirming to a nice lady with a baby-snuggly on that 'hipster mom' was a thing, and a cool thing indeed, but that if she drank espresso while breastfeeding the kid would be up all night and it was probably best to let the baby get knitted hats out of its' system now.

Hipsters, I think, are people whose health insurance doesn't cover actual therapy and who have resorted to baristas instead.
2013-03-20 05:55:11 PM
4 votes:
I used to like artisanal cheese but then it got all corporate and mainstream and it just sold out, so, yeah, I kinda stopped following them.  They just started doing it for the man and like, abandoned their whole ethos.  so now i'm into this really obscure artisanal salt thing, it's totally underground, you probably havent' heard of it, yeah.  I know.  Thanks.  It's pretty cool, but it's like, totally word of mouth, you know.  You have to know someone to know about it, it's pretty elite and exclusive, thank you!  There's also this collective I'm kinda, "forming" around artisanal olive oil but it's like, really exclusive, it isn't even a "thing" yet.  It's just a concept type project cum activity but it's not really like, for like, "public consumption" because we don't want it to get all like, co-opted by people that don't really "get" where it came from or where it's going or what it should be.  It is like, not so much an activity but a way of life.  like, a self-contained tao, like, you know, if my dad doesn't pay for my student loans and flat in Silverlake, ok, then, like, do they exist?
2013-03-20 05:48:09 PM
4 votes:

Spiralmonkey: What constitutes an artisanal cheese chop?  Do they use hand made guillotines lubricated with the armpit secretions of 80 year old French nuns?  Is it somewhere you can take your own home-made caboc and they'll cut it into daisy-shaped rounds that fit exactly onto your hand-pressed oatcakes seasoned with lavender?  Do they make motorbikes out of matured Wensleydale?


A true hipster cheese shop doesn't sell cheese.
2013-03-20 05:43:40 PM
4 votes:
I'm making a tiny desk concert of vintage 70's analog synthesizers with lyrics by a Tibetan throat singer. Ramsang Normchamp. You've probably never heard of him.
2013-03-20 04:23:52 PM
4 votes:
That really needs the Ironic tag.
2013-03-20 04:07:45 PM
4 votes:
cdn.shopify.com
2013-03-20 04:50:58 PM
3 votes:
What constitutes an artisanal cheese chop?  Do they use hand made guillotines lubricated with the armpit secretions of 80 year old French nuns?  Is it somewhere you can take your own home-made caboc and they'll cut it into daisy-shaped rounds that fit exactly onto your hand-pressed oatcakes seasoned with lavender?  Do they make motorbikes out of matured Wensleydale?
2013-03-20 06:19:35 PM
2 votes:

llevrok: Do you know how the hipster burned his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.


i.qkme.me
2013-03-20 05:48:58 PM
2 votes:
come on, what did you expect? the guy's name is FLORIDA.
2013-03-20 05:48:56 PM
2 votes:

Spiralmonkey: What constitutes an artisanal cheese chop?  Do they use hand made guillotines lubricated with the armpit secretions of 80 year old French nuns?  Is it somewhere you can take your own home-made caboc and they'll cut it into daisy-shaped rounds that fit exactly onto your hand-pressed oatcakes seasoned with lavender?  Do they make motorbikes out of matured Wensleydale?


Actually, in my experience, they seem to be utterly bereft of any cheese at all.
2013-03-20 07:24:57 PM
1 votes:
1.bp.blogspot.com

What an artisanal cheese shop might look like.
2013-03-20 06:35:24 PM
1 votes:
Hipsters were supposed to save us? Who knew?
2013-03-20 06:23:58 PM
1 votes:
Cool report.  Who the fark is "Richard Florida"?

/Some ironic lounge singer?
2013-03-20 06:14:01 PM
1 votes:
Do you know how the hipster burned his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.
2013-03-20 06:09:38 PM
1 votes:

spicorama: So did anyone actually read all that BS and care to summarize it for the rest of us?

/tldr


Liberals find to their surprise that their own version of supply-side economics works just as good as the conservative version.
2013-03-20 06:07:48 PM
1 votes:
A whole community of people who reject mass produced products and prefer small independent shops and used goods? Yea fark those guys. In America we buy cheap crap from China and we like it.
2013-03-20 06:00:01 PM
1 votes:

vernonFL: I'm making a tiny desk concert of vintage 70's analog synthesizers with lyrics by a Tibetan throat singer. Ramsang Normchamp. You've probably never heard of him.


Obscure? He used to be cool when he and I were doing street theatre and he was known as "the growler". Farkin Leonard Cohen got him all "mystical" and he sold out to do religio-commercial work for KTEL. Sell out.
Still in the streets Baby!
Keepin it real
cheese
2013-03-20 04:35:32 PM
1 votes:
Artisanal Snake Oil Salesman.
 
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