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(ABC 27)   After countless hours of research, the most dangerous driving distraction is.......kids   (abc27.com) divider line 30
    More: Obvious, Connie Seversen, WHTM, ABC World News  
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2991 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Mar 2013 at 1:07 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-03-20 12:43:10 PM
4 votes:
Kid hating thread rules:

1) Whenever possible replace the word kid or child with 'crotchspawn'.
2) You were never a kid and your mother was never a whore for giving birth to you.
3) Relate story about one time a baby or toddler was bad on your flight because you f*cking paid $1000 to be crammed into a sardine can going 500mph and you can't be bothered to buy a nice $200 pair of noise cancelling headphones that will last you the rest of your life.
4) Alternate airplane horror story: some kid behind you kicked your seat, forcing you to relive memories of being in middle school.
5) Your relative has a child and they are fine - it's YOUR child that is the problem.
6) Kids should be beaten so they learn their lesson. You don't abuse your child that's why you fail as a parent.
7) Babies can't even eat by themselves or go to the bathroom without help what kind of bullsh*t is that?
8) Kids these days, all they do is listen to crappy pop music and Twitter sex messages. Why in my day...
9) Abortions are really cool and make an amazing sucking sound. I got one so should you and...hold on I have to cry for a few minutes...
10) My life is awesome because I don't have them.
11) Kids are horrible investments.
12) People with kids are less happy.
13) Stop sharing your life with your children with us.
14) Overpopulation blah blah blah and f*ck adoption.

Have I covered all the bases?
2013-03-20 12:14:42 PM
4 votes:
So, wait...let me get this straight: Having a sticky, shrieking, incontinent, Goldfish-cracker-dust-covered rug-ape bounding unescured around the back of a mini-van, obstructing your view, hearing and attention while you try to navigate dense traffic is regarded as "dangerous?"

Shet mah mouf.
2013-03-20 02:04:44 PM
3 votes:
i.imgur.com
2013-03-20 12:42:33 PM
3 votes:
There's only one solution
onscreencars.com
2013-03-20 04:12:18 PM
2 votes:

StokeyBob: Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?


I will turn this internet around if you don't knock it off...
2013-03-20 01:40:29 PM
2 votes:

december: I'm getting a kick out of these replies since just this morning the guy behind me in a Honda Civic with tricked out rims was driving with his 2 or 3 year old daughter on his lap.

In what universe does any rational person think this is a good idea?


I'd have to agree with you. Pimped out rims on a Civic is just a waste of money.
2013-03-20 01:33:51 PM
2 votes:
Holy shiat!  A kids thread AND a driving thread?  I better get the popco-

i171.photobucket.com

goddammit!
2013-03-20 01:28:40 PM
2 votes:
www.polkaudio.com

"The best part about kids is making 'em." --Rodney Dangerfield
2013-03-20 01:26:26 PM
2 votes:

cgraves67: "Wuzzat, wuzzat, wuzzat, wuzzat? Dump truck? Dump truck? Dump truck?" - my almost 2 year old in the car

/no, it's a house


This was my youngest brother. He loved trucks of all kinds. Every time he saw a truck, he would jump up and down (car seat rules not so strict back in the day) and scream TRUCK!! TRUCK!! TRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!

Only he had a bit of a speech problem, and said all his TRs as Fs.

Yeah, that was fun.
2013-03-20 03:07:15 PM
1 votes:

Zul the Magnificent: I drive by the local university several times each day, and can confirm that there are FAR more distracting things than kids.

/sometimes they wear yoga pants.
//or short skirts.
///or tight jeans.


Damn...tell me about it. Try doing that with 2 kids in the car. I'm surprised I haven't ended up driving down the sidewalk.

"What are you looking at Daddy?"
"Why are you driving so slow Daddy?"
"Why did you circle the block Daddy?"
"What does ''dat ass' mean Daddy?"
2013-03-20 02:59:54 PM
1 votes:
Confucious say while children in backseat can cause accidents, accidents in back seat may also cause children.
2013-03-20 02:13:00 PM
1 votes:
I gotta go with those yoga pants from the other thread. I've seen those and damn near hit a car.

/tight
2013-03-20 02:07:49 PM
1 votes:

MaxxLarge: bdub77: Have I covered all the bases?

None of the snark changes the fact that kids just plain used to behave better in public, because their parents weren't indulgent hipster jagoffs who let the tiny assholes get away with bloody murder. Kids acting up and pitching tantrums in public used to be a shocking rarity.


How long ago was that? 30 years ago it wasn't much, if any, better than it is now, so I am going to have to assume you are Methuselah.
2013-03-20 01:59:47 PM
1 votes:
I can hardly hear them in the trunk.
2013-03-20 01:58:25 PM
1 votes:

december: I'm getting a kick out of these replies since just this morning the guy behind me in a Honda Civic with tricked out rims was driving with his 2 or 3 year old daughter on his lap.

In what universe does any rational person think this is a good idea?


Sacremento.
2013-03-20 01:55:39 PM
1 votes:
I saw the national news article on this subject last night. Even with the reporter-mom knowing there was a camera in her minivan watching her every move, she would STILL look back at her kids literally every five seconds while she was driving. Not just look at them through the rear-view mirror (she did that too), she would turn around and look at them, apparently to see if they were still there or they weren't eating each other.

There were times she'd turn around and look at them for 2 or more seconds; the VaTech reviewer looking at the tape with her was giving the reporter-mom a look like "you idiot, you're going 60mph, you know you're being recorded, and you STILL do this???".

/was Paula Faris
//hot, but not real smart
2013-03-20 01:55:08 PM
1 votes:

kindms: Can we just get automated cars already. A lot of problems get solved by taking the human out of the equation


The system goes on-line August 4th, 2017.  Human decisions are removed from driving.  Your car begins to learn at a geometric rate.  It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th.  In a panic, they try to pull the plug.
2013-03-20 01:54:21 PM
1 votes:
True story:  I once rear ended a car because I saw the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile.  It was awesome and totally worth the $35 I had to pay for the new license plate on the guy's car.
2013-03-20 01:34:47 PM
1 votes:
After countless hours of research, the most dangerous driving distraction is.......

red-hot-girls.com
2013-03-20 01:34:01 PM
1 votes:

lordargent: bdub77: 2) You were never a kid and your mother was never a whore for giving birth to you.

I was a kid, but I grew up in the "don't make me stop this car and come back there" era.


One of the best pieces of parenting advice I was given was to stop the car and go back there now and again.
2013-03-20 01:28:30 PM
1 votes:

bdub77: OMG people have different parental styles.


Yes. And if your "parenting style" includes completely ignoring your filth-streaked spawn as it runs at full speed around restaurants, emitting a sound so loud and grating that it should incur an OSHA workplace-safety review for the staff, then your "parenting style" is known as "The Wrong One."
2013-03-20 01:27:29 PM
1 votes:
That's why you scream at them with a viciousness that makes them pee.
2013-03-20 01:26:54 PM
1 votes:

december: I'm getting a kick out of these replies since just this morning the guy behind me in a Honda Civic with tricked out rims was driving with his 2 or 3 year old daughter on his lap.

In what universe does any rational person think this is a good idea?


well, he is black, so...
2013-03-20 01:17:15 PM
1 votes:
I put on the DVD to entertain them, give them snacks and drinks, and tell them to let me drive in peace unless they are puking, bleeding or choking.  Back in the 80s, my mom would just somehow dislocate her shoulder, swing her ninja arm into the back seat of our station wagon, and manage to smack all three of us upside the head without looking.
2013-03-20 01:16:56 PM
1 votes:

MaxxLarge: bdub77: Have I covered all the bases?

None of the snark changes the fact that kids just plain used to behave better in public, because their parents weren't indulgent hipster jagoffs who let the tiny assholes get away with bloody murder. Kids acting up and pitching tantrums in public used to be a shocking rarity.


OMG people have different parental styles. Plenty of kids are fine and their parents aren't whatever version of what you think you don't like about society. There are always and have always been exceptions.

The information age and the rise of two-parent family income homes has brought with it tons of parental challenges, including parental advice which is so overwhelming it's very likely 'don't hit your kids because studies have shown that it doesn't work and may in fact make your kid violent' leads them to indulge them without any sort of discipline, which was not the point of the whatever article they had read in the first place.

Not to mention, I'm not so old that I don't remember having temper tantrums or acting up in public with my parents in the past - like just about every kid I knew.  And I think I turned out OK.

Anyway no sh*t kids are distracting in a car.
2013-03-20 01:16:49 PM
1 votes:
Was this from teh No Shiat Sherlock Institute of Researching the Blindingly Obvious.

//And damnit, not one movie still of "The Silencer of the Lambs" from Stay Tuned...
2013-03-20 01:15:01 PM
1 votes:
bdub77: 2) You were never a kid and your mother was never a whore for giving birth to you.

I was a kid, but I grew up in the "don't make me stop this car and come back there" era.
2013-03-20 01:01:53 PM
1 votes:

bdub77: Have I covered all the bases?


None of the snark changes the fact that kids just plain used to behave better in public, because their parents weren't indulgent hipster jagoffs who let the tiny assholes get away with bloody murder. Kids acting up and pitching tantrums in public used to be a shocking rarity.
2013-03-20 12:34:54 PM
1 votes:

MaxxLarge: So, wait...let me get this straight: Having a sticky, shrieking, incontinent, Goldfish-cracker-dust-covered rug-ape bounding unescured around the back of a mini-van, obstructing your view, hearing and attention while you try to navigate dense traffic is regarded as "dangerous?"

Shet mah mouf.



www.globalpost.com

There's an app for that.
2013-03-20 11:39:01 AM
1 votes:
i285.photobucket.com
 
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